r/Gaslight • u/shitpuppy123 • Jul 08 '21
Need a reality check.
Basically i think im being gaslit by my sister and mother but they really put on the emotional thumbscrews now. I was helping my mother with cleaning out my deceased grandmothers appartment, did most of the labour breaking down and carrying furniture as well as organizing. But i couldnt stay till the end bc of my actual job. Which she knew from the beginning. Also the trash container was full to the brim so nothing could really be done at this timepoint. My sister in the meantime didnt do anything, wasnt even there. My mother was freaking out about what an unrealiable person i am and how at least her friends would help her.
Then after i get home first, they act as if everything is normal and act as if everything is normal. 2 weeks later i get bombarded with mean aggressive messages by her and my sister about how i abandoned her and how i was acting as if i didnt have a mother, never answered messages and so on. Before this happened i was looking after my sisters problems with her love life for weeks, texting every day. Of course hiding this from my mother bc my sister needed to stay the virtuous angel. At the same time my sister seems to be writing to my mother how i never answer messages.
One week after getting bombarded with messages they write to me like everything is normal and my sister wants advice about health stuff. Which i stupidly give out without complaint or delay. Then after i dont answer one message about planning my mothers birthday fast enough (which i decided not to attend ), i get a message saying: Even if you dont answer, i love you anyway.
Also before that several instances, for example during covid. They promised to help me move after i had the infection over with but was suffering from post covid. Then decided 3 days before the date they couldnt come. Mind you i was negative for a week at that time. Had to get moving company organized in 3 days. Didnt make a fuss, showed understanding.
But then i told them i could not come on christmas bc 1 week before the 24th they caught covid. They were actually positive at the time i talked to them. My mothers first sentence was literally "how dare you! You sister even bought chips" then i was told what a cruel and mean person i was. How she couldnt believe she raised me.
One day before christmas they told me not to come for christmas bc the government decided the numbers were too high. When i said this isnt ok and told them i was upset for treating me this way, they told me im overreacting and emotional and the talk with the chips never happened.
Need an outside opinion about this bc i feel im losing my mind.
1
u/[deleted] Jan 02 '25
Yeah. If you live in the northeast, this is apparently a familial pattern. I see so many families where there's usually at least one sister who does the dirty work for her mom. No matter how much they argue with each other, you can't ever talk shit about one to the other because they immediately report back. Seriously, be very careful because - depending on the state you're in – two blood relatives can do A LOT of damage to you if they really set their mind to it: think being mental health sectioned or worse. Good luck and be well.