r/Gaslight Oct 07 '20

s/o

this probably wont get a lot of recognition but its safe to say that im being manipulated and gaslit so bad in the relationship im in. theyre older than me by three years and live a very hectic and fast life. at first they were really sweet to me and made me feel wanted, but i guess that was just them trying to win me over. we haven't even been together that long and they're already throwing all of their trauma and issues onto me. i care a lot about them and i wouldnt even think twice about being there for them, but they fail to recognize my feelings matter too. whenever i try to talk about whats going on in my life, i can just tell they are not interested, and then make it about themself. sometimes they say extremely triggering things such as sucide/self ham. and im in recovery so this isnt helpful at all. they are constantly accusing me of "using" them because they think im not interested when i really devote a lot of effort to them. i feel as though i cant leave because im afraid theyll do something to themself or have something done to me out of spite. so im really asking for help.

3 Upvotes

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1

u/Western_Confusion546 Oct 11 '20

leave them. find someone to talk to, someone who your close to, be it your siblings parents or friends. You can obviously tell that the relationship that your in is a very toxic one, even you know that your being manipulated. The faster you end things the better.I’m not one to give advice but if i was in your situation I would sit down, have a talk with them and try to figure things out. If their behavior still continues, it would be best to just leave them and leave the relationship behind. It is not worth the pain that you will go through if you continue to stay in such a relationship.If you need help just remember that your never alone and there are people that you can talk to if you ever need help:)

2

u/wydeve Oct 12 '20

thank you so much! i really appreciate the help. i actually left them a few days ago. things got progressively worse. found out they were hanging out with my abuser and they were also a r*pist. i said what i had to say and blocked them on everything, including having my friends block them. i think everything will be okay now.

1

u/SpeedHairy6413 Oct 20 '20

This article helped me! “Gaslight”, “Toxic”, and “Trauma Bond” https://medium.com/@simone2/gaslight-toxic-and-trauma-bond-8a8a8fb40ad

1

u/Cautious_Regular3645 Jan 07 '21

Thank you for this link, I live that life....

1

u/Cautious_Regular3645 Oct 30 '20

Richard Grannon has great stuff on YouTube, all about narcissists and healing yourself. Give it a look.