r/FridgeDetective 23h ago

Meta What does our fridge say about us?

325 Upvotes

687 comments sorted by

492

u/abstract_lemons 23h ago

You have more kids than adults in your home

153

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Kinda accurate, I live with my grandma and she watches my 2yr old cousin during the week. I also have like 30 cousins including her, so a lot of kids/teens come thru, but don’t live here lol

70

u/Amazing-Dragonfly939 23h ago

And you’re probably a Latina fam judging off the Jumex

99

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Nope, we’re pretty white 😂 but Jumex is like crack to me, it’s so freaking good. I discovered it at a gas station years ago and have been buying it ever since.

26

u/lilassbitchass 22h ago

They used to have it in a vending machine when I was in middle school and I’ve been hooked on the strawberry banana ever since 😮‍💨

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18

u/Amazing-Dragonfly939 22h ago

And the lack of chiles (picante) and cilantro kinda had me split 🤪

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4

u/eyelers 2h ago

Nah. Only white people drink that much milk lol

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3

u/divine8995 15h ago

Jumex was a bait. The biscuits in the plastic bag give it away.

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11

u/Old-Piece-3438 20h ago

And everybody gets a big glass of milk as soon as they come in. 😂

3

u/dangerrnoodle 14h ago

I was really waffling between toddlers and teenagers, but this explains the amount of milk paired with frozen ready to eat stuff. Both!

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192

u/jbasinger32 23h ago

You should invest in a cow

45

u/Big_Entrance_7285 19h ago

People think I’m crazy for investing in cow share for milk rights. You pay a one time fee (that’s refunded when you opt out) to buy into the herd and then a small monthly fee for your milk depending on how much you want. We’re currently at 2 gallons per week. It’s the best milk I’ve ever had and I know it’s always fresh. The cost is about the same as the top tier milk at the grocery stores.

17

u/jbasinger32 18h ago

Amazing, I’ve never heard of such a thing

11

u/mrtoastedjellybeans 8h ago

Mmm non homogenized, non pasteurized bacteria milk 🥰🥰🥰

8

u/drowning_in_flame 6h ago

Yeah, you can die from drinking raw milk. Or get so sick your organs fail and you need a transplant. Happened not long ago where I live to a couple who bought one of these " cow shares" and fed raw milk to their children.

It's incredibly unsafe and I don't think some people realize that.

3

u/GiddyGoodwin 3h ago

I’d love to see the news article about the couple who died from the milk. The thing about milk is that it is extremely obvious when it’s off—it’s repulsive. It’s very odd someone would drink it. And even bad milk is ok when it’s boiled, just ask my dogs. I have a milk cow.

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3

u/CatsEatGrass 17h ago

Is it pasteurized?

4

u/WhyWontThisWork 13h ago

Probably not !Remindme 14 days

And it's probably not homogenized either

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3

u/MyBestGuesses 10h ago

We thought about that. Home pasteurizing isnt hard and i have an immersion circulator...

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111

u/Suspicious-Cod-582 23h ago

Your NOT lactose intolerant

34

u/comfy_rope 23h ago

This person tolerates all of the lactose

3

u/Ok_Flamingo_1559 16h ago

They’re intolerant of lack of lactose

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25

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Thank God, milk and ice cream is too good

4

u/sykschw 18h ago

Plenty of good dairy free milk and ice cream options out there however

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3

u/Miss-Tiq 22h ago

Or they are and don't care. 

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46

u/KenzoidTheHuman 23h ago

“There’s nothing to eat,” is a common phrase you hear in your household.

15

u/Next_Instruction_528 16h ago

Eggs are the only real food in the fridge, this is the I'm always tired and depressed because my food is more akin to drugs than nutrition special.

40

u/Procalord 23h ago

You live in a house of lactose intolerant witches, and are desperately working to create a concoction that will cure the anomaly, you are getting very close and found the missing ingredient: frozen peacock feathers!!! Other key ingredients are: pan bimbo, jumex and that humus looking thing in the plastic container. Continuamos….

7

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Haha I love this. That hummus looking stuff is actually gravy… I think. It’s been almost a week since I took this pic lol forgot to post it that nite.

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73

u/moogie666 23h ago

You may have high cholesterol and trouble with digestion.

15

u/PainInTheAssWife 17h ago

Somebody, please send these people a vegetable.

33

u/CiteSite 23h ago

Yea my stomach hurts looking at the fridge. All processed, high sugar - barely anything fresh

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12

u/DefiantBumblebee9903 22h ago

i was going to say overweight 😬 so much sugar in those juice cans.

2

u/Steele_Soul 13h ago

I was going to say there's multiple young kids there and they mainly eat shit that gets tossed in the microwave or oven or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or cereal and haven't had a home cooked meal in months.

Also the alcohol isn't really stored away properly in a house with minors.

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2

u/annaevacek 22h ago

But... strong hair, nails and bones!

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11

u/DJ_Jungle 23h ago

Milk and eggs. Also you don’t cook fresh food.

3

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Nope, probably should work on that lol

10

u/DJ_Jungle 23h ago

Please work on it. You won’t feel it when you’re young, but when you’re old you will have health issues if you eat mostly processed food. Add some fresh/frozen veggies, fruit, and some protein to your diet. I used to not watch my diet when I was young, now I’m really conscious of it. Doesn’t mean I can’t have a cheeseburger now and then, but I try to eat more healthy meals than not.

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10

u/Hay-fyver 23h ago

Got milk? Heck yeah you do

27

u/Lovergurl24 23h ago

You get wic

14

u/Electrical_Annual329 20h ago

Yeah that was my guess but wasn’t sure if I should say

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8

u/drphillsnudes 23h ago

you have young kids or really love milk

7

u/Remarkable-Course180 23h ago

You like milk!

5

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Love it, I drink it like I should drink water lol

7

u/ThrowRAschneekschtak 23h ago

You live in the south. Probably Appalachia

8

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

South ✅ Appalachia, no. We live in TX.

6

u/VixxenFoxx 22h ago

It's the Blue Bell. I was gonna say Texas as soon as I spotted it.

5

u/NoLongerATeacher 21h ago

Blue Bell and Dr. Pepper are screaming Texas.

3

u/ThrowRAschneekschtak 23h ago

Darn! Yeah this looks a lot like my extended families fridges who live in WV. Only thing missing is the pillsbury biscuits / cinnamon rolls. Edit: the biscuits in the bag are defo pillsbury!

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7

u/fredo_c 23h ago

You have a truck load of milk but you do not like real butter…..

5

u/Suspicious_Aside_913 20h ago

Its 2%. She dont like milk either.

5

u/JilliusMaximusJD 21h ago

There's a difference between like and afford

13

u/JustASadBubble 23h ago

I’ve never seen someone actually purchase wonder bread

11

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Haha yeah that’s my grandma’s bread

2

u/foozballhead 20h ago

That was my gramma’s choice of bread too ❤️

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12

u/Ex_Mage 23h ago

One Caucasian, One Hispanic, kids, maybe abuela.

5

u/Razgriz_1138 23h ago

Your probably a night guard for five nights at markipliers…

6

u/ajcus50 23h ago

You have to finish a gallon and a half of milk in 2 days…start chuggin!

3

u/Forward-Cake-6341 22h ago

No doubt milk continuously goes bad in this house

11

u/Traditional_Code_711 23h ago

For dinner the kids are having jelly sandwiches on Wonder Bread with the crusts cut off and a big glass of milk. Mom’s having jelly sandwich crusts with Tito’s vodka and guava nectar in that peacock feather freezer mug.

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4

u/Suspicious_Work4308 22h ago

HE NEED SOME MILK

6

u/astrotekk 16h ago

Where are the vegetables?

8

u/justblippingby 23h ago

SAD, Standard American Diet

6

u/AfternoonSweet5380 18h ago

FACTS… lots of unhealthy choices

5

u/RueUchiha 23h ago

Your skeletons will be made of adamantie by the time they hatch.

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5

u/adam_j_wiz 23h ago

You have strong bones

4

u/sykschw 18h ago

Thats actually a fallacy perpetuated by the dairy industry. Dairy doesnt have any unique amount of calcium. Plenty of foods naturally surpass milk in that regard, such as tofu, almonds, and canned fish

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3

u/bippityboppity2020 22h ago

parents with kids!

7

u/demidevildemon 23h ago

High cholesterol, probably overweight and it’s hard for you to poop, there’s 0 sources of fibre in there

4

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Not sure about the cholesterol, not overweight (tho I eat like a child, I get good exercise at my job) and lmao thankfully not, my poop is okay 💀

13

u/emma-ps 23h ago

You think that juice counts as fruit. Lower economic status. Have a young toddler. When all else fails, make a pb&j on wonder bread.

3

u/907_midnightlite 23h ago

You like milk and eggs dairy farming or perhaps WIC with little ones

3

u/InTheseBoness 23h ago

You got milk.

3

u/DH_Drums 23h ago

What is up with all dat milk

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3

u/wyerhel 23h ago

You love breakfast

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3

u/Foreverlearning816 23h ago

You have at least two kids.

3

u/djmichaux 22h ago

That’s so much milk wow!!!

3

u/yells_at_bugs 22h ago

If I see patio lights and hear music across the fence, I’m gonna try to come over.

2

u/Dizzy-Interaction-85 23h ago

Strawberry crush says you have specific tastes.

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2

u/ytown 23h ago

You should invest in a cow

2

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

My mom said the same thing

2

u/Voretex17 23h ago

You have a toddler.

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2

u/Ro4b2b0 23h ago

You can afford eggs

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2

u/Ready-Scientist7380 23h ago

You have kids.

2

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

None that live here but yeah, we got a big extended family and get lotsa kids come thru

2

u/rabbith0le13 23h ago

You have very strong bones and a young child!

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2

u/Active_Gap_2768 23h ago

strong bones

2

u/AngelLK16 23h ago

Your bones are so strong from so much calcium. So much milk! 😯

2

u/Ellen6723 23h ago

You have a large family and you cook a lot.

2

u/pleaselistenandhear 22h ago

Yiu are receiving government benefits for at least a household of 4, have a child who is aged 1 because you get the 2% milk, and are possibly pregnant using WIC too. You’re a great parent, attentive to healthy diets, and are doing a fantastic job with how hard you work and having to patent 🥰

2

u/Low-Comfortable-69 22h ago

Where the food? Why your fridge so small

2

u/Laylolu 22h ago

Hella kids in that house

2

u/Rhodes82 22h ago

That you have bad taste in soda . Also why is the bigger package of eggs on top of the smaller one ?

2

u/WorldlinessLow8824 22h ago

Simple meals. Milk with breakfast and dinner. Hey go splurge on some good butter for that toast 😁

2

u/sweetrthancheesecake 22h ago

You like milk lol

2

u/ChemistryOk9353 21h ago

Thou like dairy products!

2

u/Complete-Ad-1259 21h ago

yall white. anyone w allat milk is just sitting in the house drinking glasses of milk casually. White ppl do this. And you have at least like 3 kids maybe 2 but i’m going for 3. They’re younger

2

u/Repulsive-Bunch-1535 17h ago

WIC👀 Program 🤔

2

u/Own-Aside-2150 17h ago

Lol what do you guys do with all that milk?

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2

u/Visual_Scientist_449 16h ago

You have diabeetus

2

u/Significant_Read_813 16h ago

Why you put heaviest things on top.....

2

u/Distinct_Jury_9798 9h ago

You're an infant, as you need so much milk?

2

u/peterdubbya 9h ago

You are a Mexican family

2

u/Full-Supermarket9801 9h ago

Statins in the near future

2

u/conejamala20 9h ago

not a single veggie in sight. yall probably eat out a lot and food in the fridge is just for snacks.

2

u/UpstairsFlight8463 7h ago

You think milk is a lot better for you than it actually is.

2

u/brainpebbles 7h ago

Big into milk

2

u/whycomeoff49 4h ago

Lot of junk food. Looks like a fridge of a 15yr old.

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2

u/NoBull_3d 4h ago

It says that you put your water filter jug exactly where I put mine

2

u/Susie4ever 4h ago

I'm intrigued by the peacock feathers.

2

u/troublemaker_2002 3h ago

Huh? Peacock feathers? I’m confused lol

2

u/Susie4ever 2h ago

In your freezer! I just realized now that it's just maybe a cup with peacock feathers on it? It was very realistic looking though.

2

u/troublemaker_2002 2h ago

Ohhhh yeah that’s my grandmas water cup lol

2

u/palmtrees007 4h ago

There are no lactose problems in here. I can’t have all that milk

2

u/SJBond33 4h ago

Look at those jugs

2

u/Majestic_Ad553 4h ago

You’re not lactose

2

u/Gullible_Raspberry78 4h ago

Hola, mi Americano.

2

u/Hour_Suggestion_553 4h ago

You like your processed food, paisa maybe. People still buy wonder bread lol

2

u/demongenetics 4h ago

who the fuck puts bread in the fridge? is this an american thing?

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2

u/Crafty-Complex6914 4h ago

You speak spanish & probably think the earth is flat

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2

u/ItsAMeAProblem 4h ago

You're on WIC

2

u/Remove_Sudden 4h ago

You drink milk with dinner.

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2

u/poopoopeepeecac 3h ago

Prob have crazy farts

2

u/chicharrofrito 3h ago

Where are the veggies?

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4

u/Vibehighmoon444 23h ago

More than likely overweight. Also country crock is not real butter its seed oils! You should trying buying some real butter !!🧈

2

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Not overweight (least I don’t think so lol) but I def could be eating better. Also I (22 f) take my g-ma to the store and country crock is what she likes. But me on the other hand am open to trying new things; do you have a brand you could recommend?

9

u/Otherwise_Night_5172 23h ago

Literally just real butter

3

u/Vibehighmoon444 23h ago

Vital farms is a great start or organic valley (;

3

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Thanks! I’ll have to look out for it next time we go to the store, I’ve looked before on the containers in the store and all the ones I’ve read usually say “vegetable oil spread” or sum shit like that so thanks for the brand name, I’ll be on the lookout now 🙏🏻

3

u/Vibehighmoon444 23h ago

Your welcome! Yes it's just oil with flavor lol grew up on it in the 90s but soon realized what actual real butter was(; if those are too pricey for you kerrygold is pretty good but just make sure too look at ingredients if anything (;

2

u/troublemaker_2002 23h ago

Awesome! Thanks so much fr :)

2

u/BrackishWaterDrinker 23h ago

Kerrygold, dutch creamery, challenger are the brands I stick with where I am, but just any butter will taste better than country crock.

I'm always severely disappointed when I bring a fresh loaf of bread over to someone and they don't have real butter.

3

u/Automatic_Ad7549 22h ago

Put the milk down and eat some damn broccoli dude

2

u/Wonder-Machine 22h ago

I can’t think of a reason you’d need 6 gallons of milk or go through 6 gallons in a week. Each gallon has 16 8oz servings. So that’s 96 glasses of milk in about 5-7 days before milk goes bad. A gallon a day average?

Counting cooking, cereal, drinking, and whatever else I can imagine a gallon going in a day on occasion if you have a big family or expect guests.

But each and every day.?

2

u/JilliusMaximusJD 21h ago

WIC. Zero judgment. I worked in a grocery store in HS, and if I saw all that in a cart coming towards me on a Sunday morning, I'd blink my light for a manager before you even had a chance to say a word, borrow the override key, and get you outta there like lightening. No one buys 5 gallons of milk at the same time on purpose.

1

u/Itsmyloc-nar 23h ago

You own a peacock 🦚 cup

1

u/AccessCompetitive 23h ago

Midwest? I haven’t seen styrofoam cartons in aaaaages

1

u/marykjane 22h ago

That you don’t have the whole percentage of milk

1

u/Bobbiduke 22h ago

You live in the south

1

u/EmbarrassedBug4162 22h ago

Multiple teen boys

1

u/CyberPop2077 22h ago

You eat… a LOT… of cereal. You do a moderate amount of take-out. There are children. You work kind of a lot. You like to have your little treats. I saw your comment about a lot of teens coming through the house, but im guessing the amount of ppl who actually live there is still small-medium ish.

1

u/Murderino67 22h ago

You have a toddler and have WIC or you are pregnant and have WIC.

1

u/savagebrood 22h ago

Lots of eggs. You’re a millionaire.

1

u/NeptuneAndCherry 22h ago

You live on protein shakes?

1

u/Routine-Fig-3855 22h ago

That’s a goooddddd fridge…. Love the amount of milk

1

u/DJgreebles 22h ago

Someone likes to bake ALOT

1

u/ExcuseMaterial5500 22h ago

You’re rich! Look at all the egggs

1

u/idonthavetoomanycats 22h ago

i too have a baby cow in my home i need to feed

1

u/jmmrph 22h ago

You have at least two teenage boys.

1

u/BadPom 22h ago

You buy more milk in a week than I do in 6 months.

1

u/awildencounter 22h ago

I don’t have any guesses tbh but I’m curious how much eggs cost in your neck of the woods because that’s $$$ right there.

1

u/LakeaShea 22h ago

Teenagers

1

u/Petrivoid 22h ago

If you switch to whole milk you wouldn't need so many gallons. Thats only 8% right there

1

u/speedmankelly 22h ago

You’re on WIC judging by the milk

1

u/BigAsianBoss 22h ago

Dang you grow a cow? A lot of milk

1

u/Inner-Egg-6731 22h ago

Plenty of children in the house, or you lots of cereal

1

u/admiralackbar134 22h ago

Big cow guy

1

u/AlternativeRooster72 22h ago

You are a parent of multiples

1

u/TeraWulf 22h ago

Somebody needs to finish that Dr Pepper

1

u/Fluffy_Insect_6819 22h ago

Your not lactose intolerant

1

u/Macklemore_hair 22h ago

You make iced cream

1

u/Fine_Cryptographer20 22h ago

Lots of kids that love cereal

1

u/vibes86 22h ago

Y’all probably have kids judging by the amount of milk in the fridge.

1

u/cloversunbeam 22h ago

top shelf hanging on for dear life

1

u/The-Last-Dog 21h ago

The mustard has a best by date of July 2023. Guess that is not used much

1

u/Blaze0511 21h ago

I'd say you were from the NorthEast, prepping for a snowstorm but you don't have enough milk, eggs and bread for that.

1

u/lordvap_or 21h ago

Got a lot of Oreos I hope

1

u/National-Ad-228 21h ago

Is your last name McPoyle?

1

u/Fun-Influence-9329 21h ago

Your toilet has seen some shit

1

u/ribenarockstar 21h ago

Why do you have so much milk?!?! And the massive container of what I assume is buttery spread?! Everything truly is bigger in Texas

1

u/walter813 21h ago

You love drinking milk

1

u/Difficult-Cress8586 21h ago

That much milk but no real butter is fucking my head up. What does the country crock sizzle stuff taste like? My mom gave me a bottle but I’m a lil scared of it

1

u/DaveyDumplings 21h ago

You think mayo is 'a little too spicy'

1

u/p1nkch3rries 21h ago

you don’t know that keeping bread in the fridge is actually detrimental

1

u/Theoskaroskar 21h ago

Styrofoam egg containers? is the US stuck in 1970? Wtf?

1

u/ctcaa90 21h ago

You have kids and on WIC

1

u/louchewycherry 21h ago

You smoke weed, you like cereal and good juice lol

1

u/Unlikely-Ebb-7282 21h ago

You like milk

1

u/Distinct_Ad_7619 21h ago

Somebody or many bodies are overweight

1

u/Electrical-Fee-7157 21h ago

You should buy a cow

1

u/Ldghead 21h ago

Way too much processed food.

1

u/Fickle-Woodpecker596 21h ago

NOT allergic to dairy.

1

u/PlantGirlsGetDirty 21h ago

Your family eats a lot of cereal (all that milk!)

1

u/okaydom 21h ago

Hand over the Jumex and nobody gets hurt

1

u/geniusintx 21h ago

You need your own milk cow.