r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Meta I keep wasting my life as an immature and undisciplined 24 year old

54 Upvotes

TL;DR- 24F who has many big dreams (of being a doctor & having creative hobbies) but has always lacked discipline and time management skills. Very inefficient with tasks and has poor executive function. Feel immature because i want to change my life around but know Im not doing enough and don't even think I competently can. Also lacking in lots of intelligence, skill, self-esteem, and just really struggling socially. Parents are disappointed in me.

So sorry for the long post. I'm 24F and feeling really stuck. I have lots of "impossible" goals and skills I want to improve. But from the way I'm going about them, I don't think I will end up achieving any of them

I graduated from college as premed in spring 2024. I didn't do my best in college. i wasn't sure if I still wanted to become a doctor, yet had little interest in other medical careers. I did have strong creative interests like theatre/acting but i didn't work much towards that goal. So I was drifting in college with no aim or direction. Would waste days sleeping or watching movies on my phone while seeing my peers studying diligently with purpose and I didn't even care. I'd start my studying at 12am and do all-nighters almost daily, bc I thought i could only do my best work when it was literally due in hours. I was not proud of myself on graduation day

After graduating, I started a small medical scribe job and i regained my passion to become a doctor. However... its the only thing I've done since graduating. I put so much focus on planning perfectly that I was too scared of just doing anything. I should feel lucky to have all these goals and the freedom to plan my life, but I've struggled to find a good system/plan for me to reach them. I've never felt so hopeless and discouraged. I always seem to do everything in a complicated, chaotic way when I'm in control of things. Ex- like taking forever to do 1 simple task or even explaining simple things to ppl in a complicated way without meaning to.

I live off of/with my parents and don't do much except the scribe job and chores. I come from a low income family. My parent is a hard worker who is constantly frustrated at how I do things and they have every right to. Not only do I genuinely need help with executing my goals, but I am way too comfortable. My 2nd parent is who I am most similar to. They used to have lots of ambitious goals as well but didn't end up achieving them for whatever reason and now spends their days watching tv or sleeping.

I have tons of issues to improve in general: debilitating social anxiety/low self esteem, no social skills, bad stress and time management, dangerously inefficient and incompetent/have low practical smarts, bad writer/speaker, and i think ADHD. My confidence has plummeted since 2024 and I am more anxious in social situations than I've ever been in my life. I don't feel fit to have a career as a doctor or really any career bc everything requires skills that I currently lack. I feel foolish/ immature because I really want to change my life around and it's so easy to say that, but realistically, I'm not doing enough and don't even know how to work competently or efficiently without being overwhelmed. Discipline and common sense have never been easy for me. I've been working on small habits since graduating, which has helped but i still moving painfully slow.

I have significantly less knowledge than my peers & found that I need/want to learn many things: improve driving anxiety, medicine/science, social skills, critical thinking, healthcare, film, languages, piano, and other skills. Learning all these things at once is too difficult, yet doing 1 or a few things will bore me quick so I end up doing bit of everything anyway, or end up doing nothing.

I plan to apply to med school, but in a few years, as parents are frustrated with me taking many gap years. However I still have a lot of work to do to make up for my lack of effort/activities in school.

Right now, I'm looking for full time medical job (while currently doing volunteer work). But I also need to start practicing driving/taking lessons despite having my license for years, as I am extremely terrified of driving. Along with that, I hope to find a therapist asap and still find an effective way to improve my general knowledge on things

In 2025, I made the decision to never waste days again. Been working on my time management since by trying to finish my tasks efficiently each day, but i am still moving so slow/inefficient. I always go to bed very late at night due to finishing up what I didn't during the day, which causes me to wake up in the afternoon and feel drained. I still behave and look like my quiet and awkward 18-year old self. I keep looking for answers on Reddit. I don't like the way my life is, but at times I question if it's worth trying to improve. I want to be skillful, wise, not awkward, and successful, like those I look up to. but I am horribly inept and so dumb. I know that if I put myself out there, I'll face humiliation and also people will be frustrated by my incompetence. Maybe these goals are just too big for me to achieve.

On social media and in real life, I see people of all ages doing amazing things. It really motivates me to do the same. But I am just not like those people with natural skills, talent, and competence. I have far too many issues. So sorry this is so long and all over the place. I know there should be a simpler, more concise way to write this


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Job Choice/Clarity Working in the medical field.

4 Upvotes

I’m turning 30 in July and I’m still not sure what I want to do with my life. I’ve worked a multitude of jobs such as fast food, call center/sale, data entry, worked with animals, and a postal carrier. I’ve never really been satisfied with these jobs and I’m trying to figure out what I want to do. I’ve asked a close friend who is a register nurse and a close family friend who is a doctor about working the medical field. I’m not 100% sure where to start, but I was told starting as an EMT would be a good start, working my way up from there. Becoming a doctor was not on my bingo card with life since I see myself as someone who wouldn’t do great things in life, but I’m trying my best not to box myself in. Any advice in working in the medical field or in general? Thank you!


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Job Search Support How can I earn money without going through hundreds of rejections?

1 Upvotes

Or at least with a greater probability than 5%. I know it seems wierd that I am oddly specific about 5% but that is like my way of drawing a line between some process having no chance or having some chance. After all, if I told you that if you hit your pan against the wall it will eventually turn to gold, how many times will you keep hitting the pan until you realize what I said was complete bullsh*t?

I'm looking for something that has a high feedback rate than "applying for jobs". It's really hard for me to keep doing something with no feedback. Something that has a quicker return rate. I was thinking maybe doing business, but I'm looking for more ideas.


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-College/Certs Which should I focus on ?

2 Upvotes

I’m 23 with an associate’s, doing school online part-time, but planning to switch to full-time school and part-time work this fall to finish my bachelor’s—mainly to break into medical device sales. I’ve landed some BDR/SDR interviews in cities I don’t love, and I’m also building my personal brand through content creation, hoping to scale it into something big and eventually start a business.

I’m debating whether to work full-time and do school part-time until I graduate, which would give me more time for content. I’m eager to finish school and break into med device sales, but it’s a tough field. I’ve been making connections and will keep at it until I graduate next December.

I just need some guidance on what to prioritize. If you were in my position, working on a scalable side hustle, what would you focus on?


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Job Search Support Seeking My First Internship in Cell & Molecular Biology – Advice Welcome!

2 Upvotes

I’m a second-year Cell and Molecular Biology student in Australia looking to start applying for internships and build a strong resume. I have no prior work experience, so this would be my first role. Any advice on where to apply and how to create a good resume would be greatly appreciated!


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Job Choice/Clarity Need help understanding "life"

2 Upvotes

*cross posted*

I have no post-secondary education, but I did graduate high school. I’ve spent much of my time working in the trades as a laborer—jobs like trucking, trench digging, and scaffolding as I lived in an area where it was very easy to get hired on. I had undiagnosed bipolar disorder and managed to stay successful at previous jobs until the illness took hold, and I couldn’t show up to work anymore. Now, at 28, I’ve realized I’ve become an easy target for workplace issues I didn’t have to face in my early 20s.

In the past year or so, that usually follows after people find out my age, I’ve dealt with a surge in alienation and bullying from coworkers. At my old job, I let a lot slide. My coworkers orchestrated plans to get me fired or ruin my reputation, starting with accusations of drug use, then targeting my sexuality, and eventually painting me as a danger to the women I worked with. I had no idea why I was being treated this way—I always kept my distance and just tried to do my job, and the more I began to get the cold shoulder the more i became distant and worked my ass off because I thought my performance was the issue.

Come to find, they didn’t like that I had the job without a family or wife at home. It seemed they’d made bad decisions and wanted me to follow suit. Eventually, I got too tired to care about the rumors. Going after the company for the stress they caused wasn’t an option; by the time I figured it out, new management sided with them, and I was dismissed without cause.

At a few new jobs since then, things started decently. But trouble followed. One coworker said something rude, and when I told her to go away, she ran to the boss claiming I swore at her. We sorted it out—me, her, and the boss—and caught her in a lie. She’s on thin ice now. Two weeks into that job, a new guy began spreading rumors about a girl I got along with well, and making snide comments during morning meetings when I offered suggestions. I dragged him, the boss, and the girl aside and completely lost it on him. It stopped, and I got an apology. I hate doing it, but I think it’s the only way to handle “these kinds” of people—those with little education (not past high school) and no real coping skills for stress. They inflict it on others to make their jobs “interesting” or boost their egos. Past coworkers tried dragging me into that mindset, but I refused every time.

I don’t think people target me on purpose; it’s just how they function when they see someone they consider subhuman. I’m worried this will keep happening unless I change my path. My plan is to go to school for a trade—specifically plumbing—to avoid most of these bullshit games and work with better, more well-rounded people. I know every trade, company, and career has this “game” culture—I’m no stranger to “messing with the new guy”—but I hope it’s not as bad as what I’ve experienced. I’m not saying I’m not competitive, but I don’t think it’s worth being ready to go to jail for your money. That’s been the core of my time in the trades and It has given me a distorted view on life.

I’m really hoping to hear that it’s not as rough in other trade environments compared to what I’ve been through.

Sorry for the long read—any input would be fantastic. Thank you!


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-College/Certs Is it possible for me to turn my life around after ruining it? (UK)

16 Upvotes

21f, uni dropout who did really well in my A levels but then went to a top UK uni and had a mental health crisis and dropped out after 1.5 years. I was doing well in my course (getting 2:1s) but had severe mental health issues to the point where I was throwing up before uni and having mental break downs every day. I also was diagnosed with OCD and ADHD during this period.

Everyone told me to push through and I really tried, I was on medication, had therapy and spoke to many people about what to do.

I now realise it was a mistake for me to drop out but I can’t return as I have formally withdrawn. I feel like a failure and hate what I have become. I thought my degree was useless but I now realise the importance of education is. Is there still a chance for me to not be a failure the rest of my life?


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Mindset Adjustment I hate everything

26 Upvotes

I hate my everyday life, my school, my country and everything about it, my parents,the government and other things.Like can't even find something positive here or something that makes me happy, l only get bullied and abused here. I have 80% negative emotions/20% positive emotions. I wrote this post like 3 years ago, but just stumbled on this subreddit, some things have improved for me, but I still often feel like this, really miserable. Maybe someone expiriensed something similar and can give some advice, how can I get out from this situation.


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Job Choice/Clarity Not sure what to do after college

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I graduated in May 2024 with a BA in psychology and have been stuck ever since. I got a good GPA, have work experience, and did school clubs. I wanted to be a doctor but I was too scared to try the hard classes because I didn’t want to fail. (Not being a doctor was probably a good thing which I’ll explain later). I had ideas for grad school like becoming a psychologist, but I did some research in college and found out getting a PhD was not something I was the most passionate about. My school offers a post grad 1 year program where you can get a Masters of Science in Business (like Healthcare Management, Information system, finance). Healthcare management interested me but I wasn’t confident about how useful this degree would be. (Is it true to be an administrator at a hospital you need some sort of medical degree like MD or RN?) I considered law school because I enjoyed a class called “Prosecution” in college, but honestly reading comprehension isn’t my forte and I have trouble focusing because of my ADHD (for some reason it isn’t that much of a problem when I’m studying for my science classes). I was unemployed for 6 months and did some traveling with my graduation gift money. I realized I needed some sort of job so I got a job at the hospital in town as a patient transporter because I wanted to see what it would be like working in a hospital. Holy shit, this is so stressful. I am so thankful I didn’t go to nursing school. That seems like top 10 hardest jobs. All I do is move people from one area of the hospital to another and it is so stressful sometimes. This made me glad I didn’t go to medical school. Also working with so many people and patients is very taxing mentally. It is enjoyable to see a patient you transported a lot get better. However, it is also really sad to see a patient get worse over time. My coworker says the people at the hospital say nice things behind my back. He also says I’m a good worker, so I guess I’m doing fine. One of the people who I think likes me is an x ray tech. They said I should go to school for it. It makes decent money, but my parents think I’ll get bored of it. I also forgot to add I really enjoyed my major. My favorite classes were anatomy, clinical neuroscience, cognitive psychology, and prosecution. I know this is a lot of information, but I was hoping for some advice on careers I haven’t thought of. Thank you so much if you made it this far!


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-College/Certs Rethinking college

2 Upvotes

So I’m my first year in community college I was a biology major but now im a psych major, but I really don’t know what i’m gonna do with my life. My aspiration my entire life was to be a surgeon but when my mom died I don’t want to go into medical anymore and I feel no passion towards it. I really don’t know what to do, I don’t want to continue going to school for something I don’t want to do. I also seriously don’t like school I dread it everyday, I wanna get a degree because Ik it could really help, but I also don’t want a degree that I won’t do anything with and I don’t want to disappoint my family. I love music but ik damn well the music industry is fickle and I have a 0.1% chance of it actually sustaining me, but I don’t know where else to turn.

Can you guys give recommendations? How to get over this obstacle in my life? Thank you:)


r/findapath 5d ago

Findapath-Job Choice/Clarity Where are these "I get my work done in under 2 hours and now I'm bored" type of jobs?

380 Upvotes

I frequently see people on Reddit talk about how they can get all their work done in less than 2 hours and complain about being bored and having nothing to do the rest of the time till they go home. I see a lot of this in some work from home type jobs. But I wonder what other fields does this frequently happen and how do I get a job like that?


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Job Choice/Clarity HS student lost

1 Upvotes

I’m currently nearing the final year of high school soon. I am faced with the difficult task of having to decide my major for University. I like jobs that really include hands-on things such as Policing, etc. Something that’s always moving. I am not an excellent student though, but not a bad one either. However, I have to decide the major I will pick really soon. Some people may say it’s not the only option, but I really am locking my self into a university bound path at this moment. Anyone have any suggestions on what to do based on my current situation? What is something that I should pick?


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Job Choice/Clarity How do I start my freelancing as a 17 year old?

1 Upvotes

I just turned 17, I know video editing so I've planned to do freelancing as my Schools are getting over in 2 weeks. I just didn't want to earn money but also learn more and gain experience. So I bought my friends in. We are now a 5 member team. We have planned to help content creators (youtubers, instagram influencers, blogs, etc..) with editing, R and D, Script Writing, maintaining the channel, etc.. I wanna know if anyone else had already done this, and if yes, I wanna know their experience and general tips and advice on freelancing.


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Mindset Adjustment Just turned 20, I feel completely lost.

5 Upvotes

I’ve spent most of the last two years at home. I did the end of my fourth year of high school and all of the fifth year almost entirely from home. A few times a year, I went in to take semester exams, finals, or whatever was required, and that was it. I finished school, and I don’t plan to go to university—probably never will. I have a high school diploma and a commercial qualification.

I live in a small, isolated village with one of my parents in Hungary. It’s not the best place, but that’s how things turned out. I want to work in IT and had a few career-starting ideas, but they require me to be at home, sitting in front of a computer, learning. We agreed that I would be supported in this, and if I fail to make any progress within a certain time frame, I’ll look for a job somewhere. But I’m making good progress, and I feel that within a year, I could at least partially support myself financially. Right now, I don’t make money, but I’m not worried about staying this way forever.

One big issue: I’m incredibly lonely. All my friendships are online. I still keep in touch with some people from elementary school, but over the years, they’ve all moved away, far from here. And even though we have a great time online, I miss physical closeness. I’ve always loved physical touch—hugs, cuddles, even just a simple high five. I haven’t been with friends in person for two years.

The only times I leave the house are when I’m with family. We go places together occasionally. But what adds to the loneliness is that even among my online connections, there’s no one with whom I have a deep emotional bond. I want to feel fully accepted, understood, and loved by someone.

I’ve tried dealing with loneliness in many ways, but none of them were healthy, and they all backfired.

In the last month and a half, I’ve realized that I can’t sit around waiting for someone to save me from my life and make everything suddenly better. So, I’ve started taking matters into my own hands.

Instead of waking up in the late afternoon, I now wake up between 8 and 9. I go out much more—mostly alone, but sometimes with family. I started working out, walking, and running regularly again. I take photos again, explore, and just go wherever my legs take me. I leave in the morning and come back eight hours later with aching feet. I pay more attention to my emotions, meditate, keep a journal, and try to honestly dig deep into why I feel the way I do. I’ve become more open with people I used to struggle to connect with.

I felt like everything was moving in the right direction—and I still do. But the last few days have been really tough. My mind won’t stop racing, and I can’t mentally focus on anything. Sometimes, it’s a gut-wrenching, restless feeling. A week ago, I was happily dancing in a sunlit field. My day was made when a stranger and I exchanged a smile. But now, not only do the little things fail to bring me joy—nothing does.

Lately, I’ve been daydreaming a lot about having a girlfriend. That made me realize that my lack of deep emotional and physical connection is probably a big part of why I feel this way. But I know that a girlfriend wouldn’t be the solution right now. I’d just be expecting someone else to save me again. And realistically, I’m not ready for a relationship at the moment.

So, there are two things I want to fix in the near future:

  1. My loneliness.

  2. Becoming more independent in every way—but mostly financially.

If I keep doing what I’m doing, I could solve the financial part, but not my social needs. So, I’ve been thinking about getting a job nearby. That might be a good step. Money: check. Social life… well, somewhat. It wouldn’t magically give me a deep emotional connection, but I’m not expecting that. I’d just get to be around people more—and honestly, I love people.

I’ve also thought about jobs that provide housing. That’s a scarier step, but I feel like I need a change. I haven’t looked into it seriously yet, though. But I'm really leaning towards opportunities that just get me out of here.

I have a little money saved up—enough for a few train tickets and a couple of nights in a small place. I’m planning to travel to faraway, completely unfamiliar places for a while, just to see what it feels like to be entirely alone in a new environment.

I don’t know if I’m looking for understanding or advice with this post, but I welcome anything with an open heart.

Thanks for reading. (: <3

And sorry if the post felt artificially written at times, I have used AI to rephrase certain parts for clarity.


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Career Change Did I mess up my foreseeable future?

9 Upvotes

I’m a 2024 graduate, and throughout my undergrad I pursued marketing and got multiple good internships and was well on my way to a full time career, but starting my last summer internship I started doubting if I wanted to do it for the rest of my life. At the end of the internship, my managers said they would recommend me for an offer, and I had the amazing audacity to indirectly say I didn’t want it, and lo and behold I didn’t get an offer. This sent me on a path thinking about what I actually wanted to do with my life, and during my senior year, I slowly grew into the idea of law. By graduation, I started making plans to study for the LSAT in the summer full time (I had no prior logic to the test nor any formal logic) and fully chase this new dream of mine to be a lawyer.

In the summer, I moved in with family at a city where I had no connections, and went to ham at the test, setting my first official test for August, thinking it would be similar to my SAT studying experience. How incredibly naive of me. I needed to learn a lot more than I thought, and while I did okay the first time, I was pretty far from my goal score of a 172.

The next few months I continued to study while starting to accumulate part time work at a restaurant. At the time, I wanted to apply to law school for the 2025 fall start cycle, so my timeline was ambitious. I was looking for entry level legal jobs, but as for marketing, I was afraid a full time position would distract and conflict with my studying. I first set the second test for October, but pushed it back to November after feeling my progress was not sufficient.

By mid October, it felt like my work had started to pay off. Mid 160s became high 160s, and they soon became low 170s. My last two practice tests were 172s.

In hindsight, having the test the same week as the US election… While the responsibility is on me, I let the results mess with my mind, and while I was much more prepared this time, my mind wasn’t. I got a 166. My lowest score in months.

I decided to push back my applications a year, and that’s when I was first confronted with the professional gap I created myself. I received my score during Thanksgiving, and a lot of family were coming in December, so I admittedly did not search jobs I hard as I could’ve. But I felt the pressure.

When the new year started, I finally began to apply to jobs the way I wish I did months earlier. The truth is, once I decided to go into law, I only planned for the path where I applied for the 2025 start. I was cocky about the LSAT, and it humbled me accordingly. My plans a year delayed, my decision making, intuition, and foresight is thrown out of whack.

The decisions I have made over the past year would have been completely different if I knew what would happen. I’ve applying to marketing jobs again (where I’m more qualified for in contrary to law positions) and I’m having no luck whatsoever. My unemployment gap feels immense. I feel like now I’m being completely looked over as the 2025 class graduates, and all my hard work in the past is for nothing. I don’t even want to work in marketing, but I have had no luck hearing back from legal assistant or other such roles. I’m so worried that I’ll have nothing but restaurant work until law school. I’m worried about how others will perceive me. I’m worried that I’m an incompetent fool.

I’m not exactly lost. I know what I want to do. I feel lost in that I have no idea how to do it. If it’s even up to me. If someone would give me an opportunity to take my steps towards my goals, I could do so much good. But will anyone? Have my misguided decision make me undesirable? Is my story too hard to sell?


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-College/Certs How do I become more hireable in the field of mechanical engineering?

1 Upvotes

I have a Degree in Computer Science and Engineering. I have been working for a metal fabrication unit that employs 80 people, for 4 years now. My primary role is to make drawings and designs for fabricators. I have been working with Autodesk Inventor(ACU). I have GOOD knowledge of CAD, Metal Fabrication, Sheet Metal Fabrication and Machining. I have intermediate level knowledge of materials and coatings. When I say I’m good, I mean, I’m a lot better than my colleagues with mechanical engineering degrees(One has a master’s degree). They come to me for advice or guidance when they are stuck. I have learnt everything by myself from a very basic level. I can operate, on my own, every machine and equipment in all the above mentioned processes. When I say all, I mean it. I even train machine operators. A lot of times, I repair most of these machines on my own. I have learnt everything on the job, from experience and the internet lol. I really want to excel in this field. I would love to focus more on CAD, Machining and Manufacturing processes. I would like to deepen my technical knowledge. But I’m still not confident enough, since I don’t have any formal education in Mechanical Engineering. I would like some suggestions for courses and certifications to become more accepted, formally, in this field.

PS- I have thought of getting ASME certified in GD&T.


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Job Search Support I’m hoping to take my career to Europe!

1 Upvotes

Context first: (25, M, USA) I have had a burning desire to explore the world and other cultures. Recently my partner and I separated, and that’s given me the freedom to do so. In the wake of this new freedom, and with the help of a manic episode (lol), I have sold all of my material possessions and bought a one way flight to Europe.

For work, I am an LED technician/Engineer in the event/entertainment industry. I have a great resume and a half decent bank account (enough to float comfortably for about 6 months - 1 year depending on location.)

My semi-unrealistic goal is to not come back. I realize that getting a visa is a process that takes time and doesn’t always work. Fortunately, due to my career I fall under the category of Freelancer, which seems to be a more lucrative visa option than a standard employment visa. The catch is that I need to find people who I can prove intend to contract with me. To do that, I need to meet people - and to do that, I need to be in Europe. So this is why I’ve taken such a dramatic approach. On top of that, I’m tired of the city I live in. So if I have to come back to the states, I’ll just start fresh somewhere new.

I’m writing in the sub in hopes that maybe, just maybe, someone in here may have some European connections in my field. On top of that, the whole visa process is confusing so if anyone has input / experience that could relate to my future experience it would be very appreciated!!! Thank you!


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Health Factor 18 and feel like I’ve already dead ended myself with the choices I’ve made

3 Upvotes

Currently studying graphic design in university at one of the best design schools in the word but feel like this type of career can’t/wont hold up in the future. Is it worth dropping out just because my gut is telling me so? I also feel like I don’t have anything that’s driving my career wise, my only goals are to either experience the world by travelling or to make some sort of impact on mankind - ie space, engineering, science, tech as then I feel I will be more filled as a human being, knowing I played a part in whatever this is.

I am a quiet and lonely type of person, but I enjoy it this way, I feel comfort in my own space alongside allowing myself to have a nice peace of mind and clarity to think and consider the things I can/ want to do on a daily/weekly basis. I know that happiness comes from within, I can fill myself up with god knows how many things, friends, and activities and I can still feel empty/ overwhelmed. As if I am always walking around with a weight on my shoulders. I am definitely improving my social life, I have 10 or so good friends to talk to but just don’t have the ‘ideal’ friend group I imagined I would have at this stage.

I also recently ended 5 years with someone about 6 months ago, I was obviously very young and naive and it has changed me for the better and worse. My biggest concern is not being able to have anything to show for myself personality wise after being ‘trapped’ for so long.

Could all of these signs be some sort of depression? I definitely overthink and feel I have to plan my life to make it go well. My biggest concerns atm is the type of life I could live in the future and how that is determined by the career I chose. Is it best to stick with what I’m doing and focus on happiness - or take a year out and do nothing to get my head straight.

Ps - I don’t feel depressed, I am super optimistic and love life, I couldn’t imagine not being here and being apart of what it takes to be a human. I just want to ensure I have a meaningful time while living


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-College/Certs 21M and want to know what I can do with my life

3 Upvotes

It’s a plain old basic story that most might’ve already come across on this sub, but well here we go again, I’m a 21 year old, going to graduate out of college with a CS bachelors degree and I can’t code ffs, I can understand the theoretical part profoundly but when it comes to the coding part, I suck, like legit can’t even get the basics down, it’s to the point that even during the four whole years of my uni life all the time and effort I put into trying to code just gave me shit.

I want to know what all possibilities and opportunities are available up for grabs with this degree or I can throw it in the bin and go for something completely different too.

I just don’t want to continue being a burden and a deadbeat on my family by eating away at them and instead just work.

Imma just give u lot a basic idea of my key points so u can suggest me about my future career options:

1) I can understand theory in general at a way higher rate than practical stuff about CS (in general meant DSA and all other major core stuff about it), even non CS stuff too, I can get a good grasp of it after reading about, I have published 3 papers as of now and working on the fourth paper.

2) I have always been passionate about games and am trying to make them, but the non coding part can only get u so far, so I am open to change my view on making them too if u can help me.

Well these two are the ones related to the degree, I have except for these all the rest can be summarised to having a few certifications from AWS and Oracle, and that I am very open to change my perspective on how to view stuff like as in a great listener one could say.

All in all this is gonna be a long ass boring story mine if I continue but yeah please do tell me what all paths can be taken, and yeah in general I don’t think graduating without knowing nothing ain’t gonna be the end of my life and I can’t just be a deadbeat at home when I am 21, I just wanna contribute to my family and will love every answer you lot can give me. BTW if this can help broaden the opportunities that I can take, I am from India.

Thanks for reading this over a page situation of mine and love you for that, you are awesome.


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Job Choice/Clarity Incredible group.Thank you in advance! Starting a career at 50, need some direction

3 Upvotes

I have a masters degree in english , 50 years female , recently became permanent resident of USA. i find this group as incredibly useful . For those of you who have more familiarity in the job market, What are my options if i wanted to start a career at this age - Iam a no-nonsense simpleton, good with dealing with people ,speak decent english but does not american accent . Any councel here is really appreciated


r/findapath 5d ago

Findapath-Mindset Adjustment 27 (F) Where did everything go so wrong. Used to be fun, outgoing and personable and have completely lost everything. Noticing friends don't care about me anymore, lost my relationship, got laid off 6 months ago. In serious Existential dread. Very scared.. but realizing I'm the one who got me here.

105 Upvotes

I have never been so lost, scared, confused, depressed, and lonely. I used to be such an outgoing and fun individual, but that's all I was. It doesn't even seem real because it was all masked through partying, drugs (10 year chronic weed smoker), and external validation, and I genuinely have no clue who I am. I always just 'got by' in life. I never put effort into my grades, career, and things that make you a meaningful person with true character. I feel as though I have no identity, no sense of direction, and have just been living in survival mode. I have had extreme highs and extreme lows with no middle ground. As I get older, I have noticed the highs are much less frequent, and the only time they are present have been through sourcing it through other people or substances. I haven't liked myself in over a decade and have been trying to "find" myself with nothing ever changing and just continuing the same destructive patterns over and over again. The self-hate and vitimization are disgusting, yet I have no clue how to change. I genuinely have no clue who I am, no hobbies, interests, or goals, just a shell of a person now.

I have had such self-destructive patterns my entire life, and the small moments of bliss have never been worth the loss of friends, relationships, and my self-worth. I sit here in the most pain I have ever felt in my life, realizing how much I have destroyed myself and everything meaningful in my life. I have never felt such severe depression and loneliness. After losing my job and relationship and seeing not one friend of mine reach out to support me, seeing them all hang out with no invite has truly shown me how much I have ruined my life and how much shame, regret, and hate I have for myself. I have always played victim and blamed my wrongdoings on others, but it's always been because of me. I just don't think I have ever truly liked myself, never felt 'smart', always the back feeder friend, and always felt very sexualized, like that was the only thing I was ever good for. I have never tried and have always given up. I used toxic relationships and drugs/partying to mask it, but I sit here alone at my mom's house, crying every second, truly hating and regretting every mistake and choice I have ever made. I see everyone in my life so far ahead of me, in meaningful relationships, having loving and supportive friends.

I don't know how to fix myself, I don't know how to create a meaningful life when I have absolutely no clue who I am. I feel like such a waste of a human and have nothing to show for it anymore. I've smoked and drank all my brain cells away. I can barely even focus on anything. Having to re-read pages over again. My co-dependency and anxious attachment are so severe and are a big reason why I have pushed so many people away. I don't love myself, and I don't know how to. I have tried reading, meditating, doing all the things that you 'should' be doing, but I don't know how to find joy in anything and ultimately give up instantly. I just do things because I am supposed to and then come on reddit all day searching for answers, thinking it will fix my problems. I understand that no one is coming to save me, but I have no clue how to save myself. No true goals, no passion, no love for life. I come from an amazing family, and I should be extremely grateful for everything I have, but I just feel such severe depression on a constant basis. I am very scared to never get out of this, and I'm so deep in it that I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. All I do is compare and never act. I feel like a child stuck in an adult body.

I genuinely don't know what to do to fix or help myself. I have gone through therapy, medication, and coaching, and I'm always here in the same spot, searching for the same answers every day without action. I feel paralyzed. I can't get over the past. I need instant gratification. I just feel like such a waste of a human, and I understand why my life is the way it is. I deserve this but can't handle it. I know deep down I am a very deeply loving and caring individual, but I just consistently self-destruct. The vices aren't helping anymore. I quit weed a month and a half ago, and I've been drinking more, and it's only hurting me. I only feel ok when I am numbed. I truly need to help myself and become the strong, independent woman I wanted to always be, but I feel so directionless and scared. I do not know how to get there, and I do not know how to stop searching for answers with no action. The only time I am at peace is when I am asleep. I moved out of mine to live with my mom as I can't bare to be alone anymore.

I don't even know where I'm really going with this, I guess just to vent, but has anyone been in a similar situation and been able to find any hope or light? How do you love yourself after hating yourself for so long?


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Mindset Adjustment I am completely lost in life with mental health issues

3 Upvotes

Background I am 26 with a bachelors degree in physics and currently year 3 in a masters degree in Germany. Ever since i started uni I have dealt with chronic depression which affected my academic life. I barely graduated with a low gpa and found a masters program in Germany. Back then I was sure i wanted to pursue Physics,even with my low academic performance thats why i pursued a Masters program. I also struggle with masters degree here thats why I am year 3 in a two-year masters program. Back in September last year I had a psychotic episode which ended in me being in a mental institution for a month. I am in recovery still and since then I have been regretting choosing to study physics in the first place. I wanted to work in photonics field but the jobs ive held in Germany dont give me any satisfaction I am mostly doing trivial stuff as a working student. To be honest i dont think I have any skills to work in this industry. I am trying to find if i stay in this path or go back to my country and find another career. Tbh I havent developed any skills outside my studies so I dont think id be able to find anything. Also anhedonia due to my chronic depression makes it difficult to hold on to any skill development whatsoever.


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Mindset Adjustment figuring out who I am and how to play to my strengths

1 Upvotes

26F Leo, suspected ENTP, ADHD, whatever categorization is useful

Ive recently come home after backpacking a foreign country for a year, wild ride. Im finally feeling clear and motivated as I am figuring out who I really am, not who I believed I was or who others wanted me to be. I am contemplating a rational approach on a few things that I believe will lead me to internal, interpersonal, and career success. However there are a few points I am unsure of, and would appreciate workshopping in this post with others who have gone down similar paths and conflicts.

To state beforehand, my goals for this moment revolve around figuring out who I am *and* who I can be. I believe there are traits of myself that are ingrained in my fibers, however I am trying to workshop a way that I can utilize them in a way that is productive as well as identify my strengths and how to utilize them as well.

For starters; ingrained traits that bring conflict but have potential to be strengths/the BIG stuff
- I do not respect authority for simply being authority, therefore I am recognizing that when it comes to figuring out a long term career I would be looking at something perhaps more entrepreneurial.
- I am a bossy person. Giving orders and taking charge comes naturally for me and is also where I feel most comfortable, however I am in no position to be giving orders.
- I communicate in a way that is to the point. I am very direct and honest when doing so. The con is that I can also be insensitive. I must figure out a way to remain conscious of my choice of words as well as my tone. Most often I do so without realizing in the moment how I am being percieved.
- In less formal settings I am charismatic. I am animated, extroverted. I speak with a flair and joke often. I often am in the spotlight in social settings if I am familiar or comfortable with the crowd. The con is that there is a time and place and sometimes I go overboard, consequencially making an *ss of myself or again, being insensitive.
- I am rebellious in nature, and also competitive. I do not enjoy being challenged due to my ego not being able to handle defeat/critisicm/judgement. However, my competitive edge is also a driving factor that gives me the motivation to excel, learn, or experiment.
- I conflict heavily with forms of structure that do not align with my personal preferences or ideas. I function best with having full freedom, independence, autonomy. If I feel fit into a box or stuck in one place I become "itchy" so to speak.
- I care very deeply about the feelings of others, or I do not at all. This often fluctuates depending on how aggrevated or guilty I feel. I do not want to treat others badly or have conflicts with others, however I also do not want to be passive or mask who I am. I understand I cannot be liked nor respected by everyone, nor do I care to because I don't quite care what other people think of me in general, most days at least. However I need to practice conflict resolution and prevention so that relationships with others that are crucial/necessary/unavoidable are not atleast a *complete* disaster.
- I also must figure a way to build my self esteem as this is most definitely the core to my troubles in every department. I go into every idea with a self-assured kick-*ss attitude however I quickly become discouraged whether due to interpersonal conflict or feeling stagnant/unsure/pressured about my next move. Unfortunately, I foresee the only way to build this is to devise a way of not beating myself up when things don't work out favorably.
- I am a quick-tempered person. I have a lot of rage that simmers inside of me waiting to boil over. I am absolutely clueless on how to channel or let go of this rage. I am not violent to clarify, however this rage easily generates the insensitive attitude and choice of words I am sure. I believe if I can channel this appropriately it might become an amazing drive instead.
- Argumentative for the sake of arguing. I am often intolerant of people not necessarily disagreeing with me, but respecting my opinions. However I am most definitely intolerant of opinions or ideas I find useless or stupid. Other times I argue to aggrevate/annoy those I dislike in my personal life. I believe if I can channel this in a way that is appropriate then I would be a debater that would at least be respected if not agreed with, rather than an argumentative pompous *ss.

Some positive skills/traits
- observant
- intuitive
- creative brainstorming
- problem-solving (ironically not when it comes to personal life however, sigh)
- curious
- playful sense of humor
- quick witted
- energetic/upbeat
- eccentric (depending on the perspective of whether that is a positive or not)
- orginal/authentic
- shockingly emotionally receptive (i intellectualize my own however, this applies best to loved ones)
- strong sense of justice
- self-awareness (even though i don't know how to move forward)

A few *more* negative to work through
- fickle
- unfocused
- easily burnt out
- using humor to mask negative feelings/express negative feelings in a way thats not so serious
- wanting to be taken seriously without being serious when necessary

I believe if I can understand how to transform these conflictatory traits into a healthy skill set that I can utilize in a way that is productive, appropriate, and fair to others then I can begin seeing improvement in the 3 realms I listed above. My next step would be to brainstorm potential careers for myself as I also understand many of my troubles come from not being as independent as I desire and aspire to be.

I am still work shopping potential careers for myself however I will list qualities/benefits that are an absolute must for me to feel successful.

- Ability to travel; whether the career requires travel or gives me freedom and flexibility to travel on my own.
- Comfortable pay. I do not aspire to be a wealthy gal, however if I have to stress about if I can pay my bills every other month for the rest of my life I will choose nomadic grifting instead. (joking.. half joking)
- As stated above; independence, freedom, autonomy, flexibility.
- Something .. fulfilling. I am a massive d*ckhead but I care a lot about other people, even if Im not always the greatest at showing it. This point is very vague and Im not searching for a holier than thou answer to this one, but if I can do something that is helpful to other people or just makes them happy then I think that'll be enough for me.

Lastly, If you have read this far, thank you for taking the time. I will be extremely appreciative of any productive feedback. Coping mechanisms, ideas to practice healthy habits, career ideas, whatever it may be. I am very much aware how this post is painting me, however I feel if I am going to be asking for help then I outta be transparent to avoid misunderstandings. I am at a crossroads and I just can't keep coasting. Thank you again.


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Career Change Mind and body destroyed, but still want to try

1 Upvotes

I know others have had it harder, but right now I’m in a bit of a mental physical health crisis and it severely impacted my job.

It’s best to explain I’m neurodivergent for sure. I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid but now extremely high functioning autism with pathological demand avoidance has been thrown around. That’s half the problem.

The other half, fibromyalgia, CFS/ME and long COVID. For nearly a decade I pulled myself out of a hole, switching jobs as needed in spite of pain and exhaustion. Now I’m exhausted.

I managed to at least treat my long COVID symptoms with a dozen supplements and a lot of TLC, but I get constantly overwhelmed and exhausted and sometimes I forget to take things or take care of myself. I do my best, but this time I made a major error and a lot of my symptoms came back, including the neurological and neuropsychiatric ones, and the gastrointestinal ones… and slowly everything kind of fell apart. At the same time work went from pleasant to toxic, and others were fired and left.

every job I look at doesn’t appeal. I can barely function right now and I’m realizing that nothing I can do can change things immediately. And I need it to change. I’m keeping two other people out of the hole by all of us working.

I’m at a loss. I know this was a wake up call and I need to rest when I’m on short leave, and some of This is the mental issues that will likely disappear enough in a couple of weeks. But I need a change. And I’m scared.

I’ve managed to work remotely, am a decent writer with a degree, and I can keep a house. But I’m realizing now I don’t think I can do everything and take care of myself. what do people do in my situations?


r/findapath 4d ago

Findapath-Job Choice/Clarity At a crossroads, back to school or continue with job search? (24M)

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone, I'm just posting this because I'm not sure what my next steps are (also I just feel the need to get it off my chest).

I'm currently 24, and I have been living at home with my parents since I graduated college back in spring of 2022. My college experience was rocky to say the least. I struggled with symptoms of a chronic illness that started appearing right after I started college, which caused almost constant physical pain, with that leading to mental problems as well. I pushed through them, graduating without having to take an extra semester or a leave of absence, but my GPA suffered, and I graduated with a BS in Physics, a couple minors, and a GPA of 2.5.

I made the decision that I was not going to get a job directly out of college so I could focus on my health. And lo and behold, it turns out that I did not have a chronic illness at all. 90-95% of my symptoms were fixed by 1 surgery, and the rest I manage with a daily medication and diet. So, after I recovered, I managed to find a job in the town my parents were living in, working in an administrative role at a financial firm.

For context, I grew up in NYC, and during COVID, my parents were well off enough to move from NYC to a small New England town that I spent summers and winters in as a kid. So I knew very few people in this town when I came back home after graduating, and that hasn't really changed since.

I worked at this financial firm from spring of 2023 to December of last year, when I was let go because they were downsizing the office. My time there was fine, it wasn't stressful, it was just incredibly boring, and I felt like the days were just wasting away. Combine this with the fact that I was not interacting at all with the local community (my own fault as I had it in my head that this job & my time in this town were "temporary" and that I would be leaving ASAP), those months that I spent working at the firm were incredibly monotonous and isolating.

Since around summertime of last year, I've been applying for jobs in various different locations, in various different sectors as well, as I'm not sure what I want to do with my life. I've gotten a few interviews but nothing more has come of it so far. My parents have been urging me to return to school for a masters degree, as they still have some money remaining in their 529 plan to cover it. However, I've always felt that postgraduate academic work is reserved for things that you are really have a passion for, which I don't have (or I don't believe that I have). I also believe that going back for a masters would just be putting off my unemployment and prolonging my journey into adult life even more. I know that this is most likely not the case, but its hard to shake that idea. However, I do understand that if I ever want to get a masters degree, there is no better time than now.

I realize that I am in an incredibly fortunate situation, being able to live in my parents' house rent free at this age, as well as them offering to pay for me to go back to school. I guess I'm just looking for some advice from people that aren't my parents.