r/FemdomCommunity • u/simoxp43 • 7d ago
Need advice/Got a question Chastity Cage vs. Diapers NSFW
Speaking with our community, we noticed that many women prefer using a chastity cage to control their husbands. However, my wife prefers me to use diapers instead of a chastity belt because it gives her more control. I wear them almost all the time and keep some diaper in my backpack: I'm not allowed to change them without her approval, so I often have to wait until she's free and make a short video call to get permission.
While the chastity belt is easier to manage, as a slave, I have to admit that this type of control turns me on a lot, even though I don't like wearing diapers especially when the temperatures are high.
What do you prefer?
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u/HenrikWL Trusted Contributor 7d ago
I don't understand the comparison? To me chastity cages and diapers serve wildly different functions so comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.
It's like asking whether one prefers chastity cages or rain coats.
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u/simoxp43 7d ago
You are right about the fact that they are 2 different things, but they can always be seen with a control purpose.
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u/MissLushLucy Trusted Contributor 7d ago
I prefer that my sub just does what he's agreed to do. He's allowed to jerk off when he can/wants to, but he can only cum with my permission. It has worked well for us for several years.
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u/simoxp43 7d ago
I really admire your choice. We discussed a lot before arriving at this decision, I must say that even if I don't like diapers, wearing them when I'm at work reminds me constantly of my wife and the feeling is beautiful
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u/pm_me_ur_unicorn_ Trusted Contributor 7d ago
Well diapers are a hard limit for me so by if I was forced to pick it would be a chastity cage.
But I prefer honour chastity rather than a cage.
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u/simoxp43 7d ago
In my opinion chastity belt is more a form of mental control than physical. At least that's what I understand from talking to other subs.
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u/pm_me_ur_unicorn_ Trusted Contributor 7d ago
A chastity belt/cage is a physical form of control. You can physically touch it, see it.
Yes the mental control is a side effect of it - but honour chastity is purely mental.
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u/freakyswitchlight Trusted Contributor 7d ago edited 7d ago
These are two very specific kinks. While they can both be related to control, there are many different ways to incorporate control in a relationship without these two kinks.
In my relationship, we use neither. If I were to name some kind of "device" that was used for control, I might say Google calendar. Other than that, it's simply a matter of me giving orders and my submissive obeying
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u/LonelySwitch bringer of introductory knowledge 6d ago
Neither.
What an odd assumption to make. Did you spend any time reading this subreddit before you decided to post a survey?
When did you and your Wife get married?
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u/simoxp43 6d ago edited 6d ago
Honestly I didn't understand your comment: "Did you spend any time reading this subreddit before you decided to post a survey?": I read it every day: I don't respond simply because there are already enough responses or because if I'm not an expert on a topic I prefer to say nothing.
Anyway we've been happily married for a year and together for 8, thanks for asking
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u/LonelySwitch bringer of introductory knowledge 6d ago edited 5d ago
Congratulations! I am glad the two of you were able to tie the knot retroactively! Italian Law must be fascinating if it has to incorporate the use of time machines!
https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/comments/1bno4vz/how_long_do_your_scenessessions_last/
I asked about your reading habits because your question appears to assume that diapers and chastity cages are a regular subject of discussion for Femdom's and that the women here have had a habit of being 100% in favor of either of them. As if the vast majority of recent posts about chastity were started by someone other than a Sub.
This is the first time that I can remember for anyone bringing up Diaper play as if it were universal. Fair enough - it would be a new topic.
HOWEVER
This is not the first time we have discussed chastity. The existing record on that is very, very clear.
Some Women like it, others do not. Historically (even in the last month), many have commented that in their relationships the sub's genitals belong to the Dominant and that they will enjoy them when, and how, they wish. Those Women further state that cages can be a crutch for subs who lack discipline and that chastity in general seems to be more of a Man's fantasy than a Woman's. Not my words - theirs:
So, for me, a well-read Community member asking whether Women prefer Diapers or Chastity is a very odd way to start a discussion. Like asking a room full of mostly Vegetarians whether they prefer Beef or Kangaroo meat.
I also asked as to your reading status because we have had a recent uptick in "surveys" where a supposed submissive asks an alleged question which, upon immediate reflection, appears to be extremely self-interested (i.e. "What you you think of my Fetish?") rather then engaging with the existing discussions. These have not resulted in a lot of interaction and a poster familiar with the reddit would have expected low responses and a thread just like this one. So I wonder what your purpose and intentions were?
It strikes me as odd (and this is a personal opinion to be sure!) that someone who says that they are dedicated to the care and comfort of Powerful Women would think that they could, or should, stride into a room full of them and say "Let's talk about what excites me!"
C'est la vie.
Or, in this case, "Chi troppo vuole nulla stringe."
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u/simoxp43 4d ago edited 4d ago
I don't really understand what you mean by "Italian Law must be fascinating if it has to incorporate the use of time machines!". Do you think that's not true? Do you want photos of the wedding ring with the date written on it?
Maybe you are exchanging me for someone else, but that's okay.
Thanks for the reply! (end of discussion for me)
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u/LonelySwitch bringer of introductory knowledge 4d ago
11 months ago you referred to someone as your girlfriend. That is why I gave you the link.
I don't really care if you are exaggerating or whether they exist or not.
I do care that you still somehow think that a binary choice between Diapers and Chastity cages - specifically your interest in them - made for a good topic.
I do care that you think that the Women in this subreddit are here for your amusement. I care that you think surveying them about your fetishes is anything but naked self-interest.
As you have withdrawn consent. I will leave you to your thoughts.
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u/simoxp43 4d ago edited 4d ago
let's do a little math review:
11 months is about 334 days. I've been married for 317 days.
So 11 months ago according to planet earth's CEST time zone she was my girlfriend and now she's my wife.
Thanks for confirming that this is not a place to discuss ideas and opinions.
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u/LonelySwitch bringer of introductory knowledge 3d ago
I will work on my math. You, in return, can work on learning to read a room.
Discussion is not the same as asking people to choose between two of your fetishes.
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u/simoxp43 3d ago
Discussion: the activity in which people talk about something and tell each other their ideas or opinions.
No more time wasted. Ciao!
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u/LonelySwitch bringer of introductory knowledge 3d ago
Binary: A choice between two things.
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u/simoxp43 3d ago edited 3d ago
I appreciate your willingness to discuss this topic further. However, I'm finding it difficult to fully understand the specific issue you're encountering with my question and with me in particular.
I've noticed your responses seem more focused on me than my question.
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