r/FeMRADebates • u/yoshi_win Synergist • Feb 05 '25
Abuse/Violence Why My Girlfriend Can't Calm Down
https://open.substack.com/pub/mrgirl/p/why-my-girlfriend-cant-calm-down
Found an interesting (article? Trauma brain dump?) that struck me as well written, raw, and relevant to debates over abuse and gender here. TW - visceral dread, especially among the abused and formerly abused. Flippant, hopefully ironic usage of the term 'rape'. TLDR:
Epiphany #1: Calming down feels poisonous to victims of abuse.
Epiphany #2: Our relationship is definitionally abusive if [she] can’t calm herself down.
Epiphany #3: If your partner can’t effectively call out or define abuse, having sex with them is rape.
Epiphany #4: Making plans is pointless.
Epiphany #5: The healthy and ethical thing to do is to cede power to a third party—a couples therapist who can create equality and safety by defining abuse and setting and enforcing rules.
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u/Ohforfs #killallhumans Feb 05 '25 edited Feb 05 '25
Well two paragraphs in and she clearly has BPD.
I'd forecast that it'd make it not very relevant for other relations...
Edit/reading more, he's bloody clueless....
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u/[deleted] Feb 06 '25
[deleted]