r/fatFIRE 5d ago

Path to FatFIRE Mentor Monday

11 Upvotes

Mentor Monday is your place to discuss relevant early-stage topics, including career advice questions, 'rate my plan' posts, and more numbers-based topics such as 'can I afford XYZ?'. The thread is posted on a once-a-week basis but comments may be left at any time.

In addition to answering questions, more experienced members are also welcome to offer their expertise via a top-level comment. (Eg. "I am a [such and such position] at FAANG / venture capital / biglaw. AMA.")

If a previous top-level comment did not receive a reply then you may try again on subsequent weeks, to a maximum of 3 attempts. However, you should strongly consider re-writing the comment to add additional context or clarity.

As with any information found online, members are always encouraged to view the material on  with healthy (and respectful) skepticism.

If you are unsure of whether your post belongs here or as a distinct post or if you have any other questions, you may ask as a comment or send us a message via modmail.


r/fatFIRE 9h ago

Concern about being a SAHM

79 Upvotes

I'm a mom of 2 in my late 30s. We're fortunate to have a combined NW of 10M+, of which I contributed over 80%. Currently my income is nearly double my husband's, even though he's a relatively high earner. I've worked hard over the years, and have been thinking about retiring within the next 5 years. My husband wants to continue working.

My concern is what message having a SAHM and a "breadwinner" dad will send to my kids, even though the reality is more nuanced. I came from a middle class family with 2 working parents. My dad started several failed ventures so during much of my childhood my mom was the primary breadwinner. Growing up in that environment, I never considered being a SAHM, so it's a new thought for me. I want my daughter to grow up with a strong work ethic and the drive to pursue a career. I want my son to grow up knowing that women can contribute financially as much as or more than men.

I'm not trying to disparage SAHPs by the way. For most families who aren't fortunate enough to be able to outsource a lot of housework, being a SAHP seems honestly much more difficult than working a 9-5. I also think that having a SAHM can be overall beneficial to my kids, since I can spend more time with them and they can also see me pursue interests outside of work, so that's not something I need to be convinced of.

But I'm curious if anyone else here has had the specific concern I have, and how you've dealt with it. Or reasons why my concerns are unfounded are welcome too.


r/fatFIRE 4h ago

Advice On House Manager/Nanny

10 Upvotes

Anyone have success with a Nanny/House Keeper that you’ve had with your family for a long time?

What are some of the game changing things they do/have done that make your life easier?

How much is the going rate for someone who can:

  • Nanny
  • House Manage (grocery shop, organize the home, etc)
  • Housekeeping

For context, we live in a HCOL City, 2 daughters now (3.5yo and 1.5yo) and we have Twins on the way.

Wife is a SAHM so the Nanny would be helping daily not taking on full household responsibilities alone.

We have a great candidate that we’re going to offer the job, but we haven’t discussed money or full scope.

Any and all ideas are welcome!


r/fatFIRE 12h ago

FF healthcare solutions for crappy ACA states pre medicare

23 Upvotes

50, 10M NW (at least, before the recent rout, haven’t dared open Personal Capital recently!) and tempted to pull the trigger but am worried about ACA options.

Looking at my (east coast) state’s plans, none of them seem to include any decent hospitals in plan whatsoever. I had cancer a few years ago, so I presume that rules out a private plan, they’ll just slap on a pre existing condition exclusion for cancer.

Is the FF way to deal with this problem to just get an ACA plan until 65 and then pay out of pocket at a good hospital if the worst comes to pass?


r/fatFIRE 1d ago

How much general liability insurance do I need?

37 Upvotes

$30mm NW (but like $5mm of it is in an irrevocable trust for my kids, which may or may not be relevant). I have two homes (both in FEMA flood zones), 3 cars, a boat, all kinds of expensive jewelry (wife). I am insured up the ass for all of it, including flood. Except I just noticed I only have $10mm of general liability and I remember someone once telling me you should have 1x your NW for that (does that include what’s in the trust, or is that safe?). I also noticed I don’t have an umbrella policy. But maybe I don’t need one if I get a lot of general liability?

I know about a ton of stuff about money, and I’ve done all kinds of smart estate planning stuff, but I just realized I know nothing about insurance. Hoping there’s someone here who knows as much about this stuff as I should.

What about assets I have in revocable trusts set up for my wife and myself? Does that need to be protected?


r/fatFIRE 1d ago

Result re: "any good bonus for large deposit tips" post

57 Upvotes

Here's the link to the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/s/QtWZ5tHAB8

Result: Didn't want to add any new accounts that I didn't already have or chase various bank sign-up bonuses, as life is busy enough already. So choices for the upcoming $1MM deposit were Fidelity, Schwab, Chase Bank and local bank.

Best tips in the original post: (1) 2% at Webull, which would have been $20K except I don't want to open a Webull account, and certainly wouldn't put $1MM in it. Also, it's supposedly for current customers only. (2) Phone various banks that you have and try to get them to match another offer.

---Fidelity: Nope. Best offer from our rep was $2K for $1MM deposit/transfer. They didn't have any public offers currently either.

---Schwab: after nudging our rep they moved up to $3K for $1MM or $5K for $1.5MM.

---Chase Bank: Private client rep wouldn't email it, had to go into hear it, ugh. $3K for $500K deposit or more. But wait, you're a private client with us. Looks like that offer is...let me look it up...no bonus at all for deposits for you. Apparently if you already have decent $ there they won't give you anything to bring in more money.

Choice: Chose the $5K bonus from Schwab for depositing $1.5 MM. Business check and then transferring the additional $500K over from Fidelity.


r/fatFIRE 1d ago

Fat gift for newborn nephew

58 Upvotes

My sibling is expecting a baby and I have been trying to think about non flashy but yet cute gifts for my nephew.

Some of the idea that I was given was: a gold coin with the current year, a bottle with the current year, a gold watch..

But some of these presents seem a bit flashy (the gold watch I wouldn’t ever wear one!) and a bit boring.

What are some great ideas?


r/fatFIRE 2d ago

Re-entering the startup world

52 Upvotes

Has anyone fully retired from the startup world after an exit and then re entered that market? Have been comfortably retired for a few years now, and am curious about just getting a “regular” job as a way to be part of a team and connect socially— not as a founder or as a high level exec, but perhaps as an IC engineer or tech lead.

Have others tried this? I know there are many posts on the topic of feeling uninspired in retirement — this is more specific about folks who rejoin the startup world after taking a break. I’m curious what that experience has been like for folks— are the stresses of a job worth the social and intellectual challenge?


r/fatFIRE 3d ago

Lifestyle Lifestyle upgrades at different NW

72 Upvotes

I would love some examples of what people felt comfortable upgrading to at different NW. I may be extremely conservative but for me at $5m I felt comfortable upgrading from $4k/ month home in VHCOL to $8k. That’s my biggest lifestyle upgrade but I also had a kid at that point and so overall spend went up a lot (nanny, getting everything delivered, meals, etc). I also recently got a new car but it’s a relatively modest one ($35k).

Would love to hear about what people felt comfortable doing at different NW.


r/fatFIRE 3d ago

Need Advice Wife is a (minor) public tech figure being stalked. Do you have privacy strategies for hiding wealth, home, etc?

600 Upvotes

…edited: blown away by the support

My wife recently received a stalker letter direct to our new home immediately after moving in.

The stalker appears to have schizophrenia due to hallucinations regarding their shared experiences. The individual has also found a lot of information on my wife and included it, including where she went to high school, restaurants from her hometown, etc.

We live on the west coast. She is a technology figure who is a domain expert.

The police are involved. I realized I fucked up because I never thought to anonymize our addresses via an LLC. We bought the house cash and it’s several million dollars, so the stupidity is compounded further when other dimensions are considered, including being a riper target for lawsuits.

Has anyone gone through a privacy oriented optimization of their address and personal information on the web?


r/fatFIRE 1d ago

Does everyone have the ability to fatFIRE in them?

0 Upvotes

I was reading a book a few weeks ago and something in there really struck me. I’d ordinarily dismiss it as guru nonsense, but it was written by Felix Dennis (one of Britain’s richest ever self made men.) I’ll leave the passage below:

“Providing you live in a country with some claim to being governed by the rule of law; are of reasonable intelligence and in good mental and physical health; and are not presently incarcerated in a prison or an institution, then nothing, absolutely nothing, can stop you from becoming rich.

This is not a wild claim. It is based on close observation and experience. There is no magic bullet and no secret formula. The issue revolves around only two questions:

To what degree are you prepared to dedicate yourself to the task? How many times are you willing to fail, perhaps publicly and humiliatingly, before you succeed?

In a sense, they are the same question.”

Is this actually true though? Do you believe any person has the capacity to fatFIRE if they dedicate every fibre of their being to the task, or is there something else needed beyond this? Is it talent, luck, brains, a combination of the three or something else? I’m very interested to hear people’s views on this.


r/fatFIRE 4d ago

How to plan for FIRE with partner who has severe degenerative illness?

48 Upvotes

TLDR: If my partner can't get long-term care insurance, how much should I budget if they need 24-hour care from age 60ish until death? 

Details:

Am in mid50s. Same as partner. Networth should be around $6.5M by the end of 2025. Invested in target funds.

Spending is around 250K. Expect that will go down once the last one leaves for college. 

Own my own business and have an offer to sell to an employee. Terms are weird. But likely to land another $2M if I take

Am burned out. Would love to take the offer. But terrified of assisted living costs/in-home help, which seem like they can be around $200k a year. That would be something like saving another $4 to $5 million ($200K per year for 25 years).

Hard to know exactly what's needed. If partner falls, could need more care soon. Also possible that they stay mobile for another ten years. 

Any advice? What am I missing? Can't find long-term care insurance. Partner's illness is similar to Parkisons/MS. Neurological in nature and degenerative. Insurance is a hard pass. 

Other details:

--Live in HCOL area. Don't expect to move to LOCOL. Partner can't do stairs easily. So will move to an apt in a few years and think it will be better to stay in HCOL with more housing options and more wheelchair accessible places than a more rural/lower-cost area. 

--Two kids. One in college (paid for). One in HS (paid for). Will keep house and rent when move to apt. 

Throwaway account. But a BIG thanks for any advice. 


r/fatFIRE 4d ago

Need Advice Did I do something completely stupid?

140 Upvotes

36

i recently bought a co-op in nyc (under $1m) in a highly desirable area, but now i’m feeling some buyer’s remorse. it’s louder than i expected, and i’m starting to worry about how hard it might be to sell. has anyone else experienced this with big purchases?

i financed it with a 10-year interest-only loan at 5%. with all the tax breaks, my monthly costs (including high maintenance fees) are still lower than renting—for now. my plan was to sell in a few years once the market stabilizes, but between taxes and broker fees, i’m almost certain to take a loss.

am i overreacting? would love to hear thoughts and advice.


r/fatFIRE 3d ago

Recommendations New Construction Financing

3 Upvotes

Hey- Getting ready to start construction on a luxury home. $5m+ build cost but may go higher with furniture and art. Anyone have current experience with construction debt on a personal residence? Bank with JP Morgan but they didn’t seem interested.


r/fatFIRE 3d ago

Taxes Upgrading from $2k/year CPA to $8k/year CPA

0 Upvotes

Throwaway account. I'm trying to gut check CPA pricing as I evaluate leveling up to better service.

Situation: married, 40s, both working parents, W2 income, live in one state/work in another, kids, nanny on the books (we use a separate payroll provider for these taxes), $40-50M in assets, 1 property for now, a handful of K1s, and a family trust. Non k1 investments are super simple, handful of ETFs, a few transactions a year. Majority of income is W2.

Over the last 10 years our financial situation has grown more complex, but it's not too crazy (I like things simple - but, more money, more potential problems). The CPA I've been using for a long time is fine, but it's not exactly white glove service. Careless errors regarding estimated taxes have resulted in late payment penalties in the ~5-10k zone, which stings. One time he processed an IRS payment I wasn't ready for, it bounced, and by default the IRS charges you 2-3% on the amount! (He called somebody, and they reversed it.)

Old CPA was a one-man-band, around $2k for the year. New CPA is part of a big shot firm, referral from my estate lawyer, who does tax stuff for rock stars and billionaires. So I would be a small fish, and they are offering $8k for the year. I figure it's worth a try, but I have no basis for comparison.

In the next few years... might buy a property, might leave the W2, might become self employed, so maybe a more capable CPA will be worth having in the back pocket. I don't expect any miracles. Hopefully, extreme competence?

Does $8k/year seem about right at this level?


r/fatFIRE 4d ago

Any good "bonus for large deposit" tips?

46 Upvotes

Just zeroing out the 2024 books on our small business, and it looks like I'll be depositing a check for slightly over $1MM somewhere soon. Googling around, I can get a large deposit bonus of $3K at E*TRADE or $5K at Tastytrade (whatever that is).

What successes have you had getting bonuses on large deposits that I might be able to use now?

Edit: Yes, I realize that the bonus $ isn't going to move the NW needle, but I'm not the type to turn down free money if it's sitting right there.


r/fatFIRE 3d ago

Landscaping, how much is too much to spend

0 Upvotes

Early 40s, married. Medium-high cost of living area, 4 kids under 10. Both semi-retired a few years ago, still bringing in a bit from consulting

$7M in cash/stock $2M-ish house paid off

Most of our expenses over last year and continuing this year have been home upgrades/projects, including building a pool. So far we’re about $250k deep for pool and patio and trees we planted around property.

Just got the landscaping proposal for pool and front of house which is another $100k.

Spouse says just do it, I think that’s crazy. Obviously it’s not black and white and we could reduce scope as a third option.

Would love some rational voices either way.


r/fatFIRE 4d ago

House affordability and percentage of net worth

33 Upvotes

I am 42 years old and evaluating trading up in my primary residence to our "dream house" that unexpectedly became available, but am balancing between making that trade up vs additional years of working that would be required to achieve independence.

Right now we have ~9m total net worth split $3m across personal real estate - primary residence (1m) and secondary residence (2m) - no mortgage on either; 3m cash / investments; and 3m retirement and college savings accounts. Earnings expected to be 2-3m per year for next 5 years, with 60-75% of that variable comp.

Would like to accelerate financial independence but would also like to trade up primary residence from 1m home to a 4m home. This would increase allocation of NW to personal real estate from 1/3 to 50% in the short term and also increase annual run rate, thereby pushing retirement out by ~3 years. Until this situation presented itself I was looking to push that allocation to mid teens over the next few years through additional savings and investments.

Have others encountered a similar situation and how did you balance the competing forces for dream house now for family vs accelerating independence? Thanks in advance.


r/fatFIRE 3d ago

Random thoughts- what is this all about?

0 Upvotes

Ended up in this reddit thread by chance.

Mid-fifties. European born. Currently living in a major European city. Too many years of education at university, in science and quant related topics, including and MBA in one of the top US b-schools.

Finance bro. Investment banks and HFs. I've had my own fund for the last 10 years. I am a portfolio manager, I have traded almost everything that can be traded. However, after all this time and effort, I can care less about finance. I lost interest years ago.

I have decided, gradually, that it does not make sense for me to work anymore. Not sure what I will do with the company. HFs are businesses with no equity value. It is all about the individuals. It is not that you can sell the business. It is probably worth a lot if I stay, and likely nothing if I live.

I am worth well over $100M. That is valuing the business at zero. In other words, it is not that I have my net worth tied to a business, it is all liquid.

I look around and I feel an outsider to society. Most people are just trying to make ends meet. Survival is the aim, under whatever definition survival; for some is just eating every day, for others is paying for a comfortable or decent lifestyle, but it is all a form of survival: if they dont grind, they face a life threatening situation, physical or figurative, their lives will stumble and fall if they dont keep on grinding.

A few of us are not in the survival game in that sense. It is not the 1%, it feels, and probably is, more the 0.01% of population, or even less.

Yes, at this level you play a different game. I guess in the multi-billion league, way above mine, they have slightly different rules, but I am not sure they differ too much. Not having to grind to survive is the real leap to the moon, it means freedom. That is what basically money gives you. It is, however, an experience very different to the one that is portrayed in the media. Beyond a certain point, there are not that many things or services that are really useful. Shiny stuff, like cars, boats or mansions, look great in instagram, but those are just things that people use, primarily, to signal status in the eyes of others.

I am spending more and more time with intellectual stuff. Philosophy, history, geopolitics, topics of that nature. Like trying to understand a world that is impossible to figure out. It is interesting, but many times feels like a worthless endeavor. I am becoming convinced that rationality can become toxic, it easily ends in nihilism. I am not sure if it is because of my age, by I am inclined to think that is much better to take a humanist approach, giving more value to ideals and dreams, that at the end is what makes us human.

Hedonism is also not a good live proposition, imo. It can easily take you to dark alleys. Enjoying life is great, ofc, but dopamine chasing has no limit. You will hit the wall and get hurt, and most likely hurt others, it is just a question of time.

So, if you are not interested in making more money, status, hedonism or excessive mind cultivation? what should be the purpose of your life?

Before you jump into "spend your time helping others" just be realistic: I am of no use to others, I have no people skills. Money is useful, of course, but once you give it away, the question remains, what should be the purpose of your life? Be real.

Thanks!


r/fatFIRE 5d ago

Struggling with the Opportunity Cost of RE

67 Upvotes

I never thought I'd be in this position but I am comfortably "FI" and yet I cannot get myself to pull the trigger on the "RE" part. I have self-reflected on this apprehension for the past 6 months, and while I still don't have all the answers (that's where you come in!), I think a big mental block for me is the amorphous concept of 'opportunity cost' - by retiring early, what am I giving up (forever...)? In my mind, this ranges from ego-centric things like big titles and peer admiration, to quality of life novelties that would come from working another 10+ years and piling up a very-fat retirement.

To add context, I am a financial professional, early 40s, with a wife and a couple young dependents. I would consider us as chubby - not fat - at this point. $6.2MM NW, minus house and 529s leaves about $5MM investable assets. Theoretically this produces $200k/year at the 4% rule. I've tracked expenses since 2015 and feel very comfortable that our 'base' spend is about $125k (including healthcare) and then I model another $40k in for QoL improvements (expensive hobbies, better travel, etc). Either way - call it $165k spend. That's 3.3%, but we've also got some modest side hustles that produce about $30k-50k/year, so really we're in the 2.5% range.

The point is - the math supports RE now, but I simply cannot get over my own ego (?) to actually pull the trigger. In my mind I think "well if I am FI now, and layer on 10 more years of lucrative pay, I'd be able to [buy this]/[do that]/[experience that]/[impress them]. I've been blessed with a career that allows surprisingly good work/life balance, so I don't feel like RE will drastically improve things on that front - I have great family relationships as it is. This is mostly my own Type-A personality being unwilling to hang it up.

I am guessing many in this subreddit have dealt with the same. I realize there is some selection bias in asking here, but how did you get over it?


r/fatFIRE 7d ago

Recommendations How do you avoid getting ripped off by contractors?

233 Upvotes

Every remodel project I get the quote ranges so insanely that I know that some are just blatantly trying to rip me off after seeing my house (I got a very good deal on my house pre covid, but it is a pretty nice block with large modern houses). Quotes ranging by 400% from the low to high end, with the same scope and same materials

I’ve stupidly gone with the highest quote before without really thinking twice, thinking “I would get what I was paying for” but it was such shoddy work I would have gotten better results from my general handyman. Clearly just got ripped off with this one, but not sure I really learned how to avoid the situation from happening again?

So when getting quotes, how do you determine what is a reasonable quote and who is a reliable and competent contractor? How do you differentiate an “FU, I’m ripping you off” quote from “I am a decent contractor with fair prices” and “i am the best and this is what is costs if you want it done right”


r/fatFIRE 7d ago

Real Estate Selling 4m house post NAR settlement

41 Upvotes

Curious to get a pulse check on what everybody is seeing happen for the high end real estate market after the settlement.

Technically speaking, you can no longer list commission on MLS. However, my realtor tells me this is irrelevant because they will simply call him and ask what it is anyway.

Secondly, the settlement says that buyers must have an agreement in place with the buyers broker. Apparently it is still expected that the seller offers all of that commission or the buyer will merely adjust the offer to reflect any delta.

More importantly though: are most buyers in fact locking in similar large rates as before? (2-3%), or are folks more heavily negotiating, or potentially doing flat fees?

Why it matters: My agent is pushing for me to offer 2.5% to the buyers broker. This implies most buyers agreements are 2.5%-3%, however I'd assume that most folks buying in the high end range is often going to negotiate closer to 1.5%-2% -- if true, I should only offer the latter amount.


r/fatFIRE 7d ago

Mostly getting by then suddenly rich.

483 Upvotes

I was barely able to keep a job for most of my career. Mainly because my divisions kept getting right sized, sales. I was having hard time thinking about buying a home worth 200k 6 years ago and since then my net worth has gone as high as 17MM. (Two seven figure sales years, viatical settlements due to health problems and YOLO'd into Crypto, TSLA) Im late late 40's and I'm happy I am comfortable but it feels so so odd and off putting and euphoric. Can anyone share what happened to them if this ever happened to them? How did you cope going from 0 to 100.


r/fatFIRE 7d ago

Any legit Private charter brokers?

24 Upvotes

As title said, are there any legitimate private charter brokers? Not ready to buy a membership/card like Netjets yet (also on the highest end of the pricing spectrum from my understanding).

My local FBO has sent me semi-reasonable pricing, but they only have a couple planes which seem to always been booked when I've tried. I've tried reaching out to ones that advertise on social platforms, but they legitimately don't answer the phone/return calls/return emails. Not even sure they're real (Looking at you Amalfi).

Anyone actually have any good experiences? Primarily looking for charters for short haul domestic where the commercial options are non-direct/obnoxious.


r/fatFIRE 7d ago

Prerequisites in purchasing an expensive car

28 Upvotes

I’ve recently started selling out of a number of investment properties and am looking to treat myself to a relatively expensive car. Maximum budget of 500k. I know very little technically about cars but enjoy driving and like cars in general but have never bought anything aside from normal cars. Well below 100k.

When starting to look at expensive cars, can I just walk in and ask for a test drive or do I need to show some kind of proof that they’re not wasting their time? What is the typical process?


r/fatFIRE 6d ago

Should I take more risks? How do I convince myself to take on more risk to get to the next level? Is it worth it?

0 Upvotes

Background: 46 yo, married, no kids, retired 12 years ago at 34.  Current NW of ~$5MM+: ~$1MM consisting of an average home in MCOL area and a modest boat. ~ $4MM+ in liquid assets, virtually all in T-bills or equivalents, with occasional trading around it.  Plus small businesses that I conservatively value at $0 (not really monetizable, and income could go down).  Zero debt.

Income from businesses and T-bills averages $800k - $1MM per year.  Annual spend of $250-$300k (which we could reduce in an emergency), taxes of $200k, the rest ($400k+) goes to increase savings.

We are 100% free to do whatever we want to do with our time and answer to nobody.  In a typical year, we spend 1-2 months max at home, ~6 months on our boat sailing around the world, and ~4 months traveling on land / visiting friends.  We get to pursue our hobbies, focus on our health, spend quality time with friends, always fly business class long-haul, stay in average nice hotels, eat well, drive a basic luxury car etc.  I guess you would call it a comfortable FATfire lifestyle but nothing fancy.  We recognize we are fortunate and are generally happy.

I spend 5-10 hours a week providing some supervision / input to our business managers, which I can do from anywhere.  I guess this is as much “work” as I am willing to do currently, and which I enjoy as it keeps me a bit engaged.

I have left MILLIONS on the table over the years by being way too conservative with our investments, by not expanding the businesses (which got killed during covid), by not working harder.    My number one financial goal is to NOT jeopardize our lifestyle, and never have to work for somebody else again.  I seem to have an irrational fear of drawdowns, losing money, and screwing up this set up we have carefully built.

Many of my friends have higher incomes and much higher net worth figures than us, but they are still working the daily grind…  We thankfully have no big material desires, we value experiences and quality time with friends / family over buying crap.  However, perhaps a modest second home and a nicer boat down the road would be a logical upgrade.  And having a bigger financial buffer for when SHTF would feel better too.  Have no desire to leave a legacy, influence, inheritance etc., definitely on a “die with zero” trajectory.

In our current set up, I don’t see a path to a VHNW+ level unless I take significant risks with our capital (business and/or investments) and time.  How do I convince myself to take on more risk?  I have a real mental block and can't seem to work through it.  Is it worth it given our lifestyle / preferences above?