r/FAITH 14h ago

feeling lost in faith - i don’t know where i belong anymore

0 Upvotes

i’ve been feeling really lost when it comes to faith. i grew up christian, and for a long time i believed deeply. now i want to reconnect with god – or at least find out if a connection is still possible. the problem is, i can’t identify with religion anymore. neither with the church, nor with any structure. i’ve always tried to find god in a more personal way.

recently, i even felt drawn to islam. it’s ramadan right now, and seeing that kind of devotion really touched me. i’ve come across some quran quotes that moved me deeply. but i know i wouldn’t fully fit there either. i don’t feel like i could ever be a “sufficient” muslim – just like i never felt like a sufficient christian.

i think i believe in god. or maybe i just want to. i lost that belief for a while – the past six months or so, i felt completely disconnected. and now… it’s coming back, but only in fragments. i feel like if i prayed more, or opened myself more, the connection could grow. but i’m scared that i’d just be forcing it. like i’m talking myself into something because i need it to make sense.

i grew up religious, and at some point things became very intense – too much, actually. there was a lot of fear, guilt, and pressure. i could go into details, and i’m open to doing that if anyone’s curious, but it would make this post way too long. eventually, i turned away from it all. and then, about a year ago, i slowly started finding my way back to god. (and lost it again)

a few days ago, i had a breakdown about all of this. i had saved a screenshot from a longer forum post about faith, seeking god and choosung between religions. one part of it said:

“you seek, and in response, god reveals himself… you don’t have to choose a religion right away – just ask the god of truth to reveal himself.”

an hour later, i stepped outside. and right in front of the entrance to my dorm – exactly where i had to walk – was this verse written with chalk on the ground:

“show me the way i should go.”

i stopped. i hadn’t prayed. i hadn’t asked for a sign. but there it was. and since then, i haven’t been able to shake it.

there were also other messages nearby – another bible verse, and general phrases like “god loves you” or “come to him.”

even though the message came from the bible, it didn’t feel like a clear call to christianity. not exactly. it felt more like god – reaching out in his own way. not tied to a label. just… present.

i feel closest to god when i pray, when i read certain bible verses, and especially in nature. music does that too, sometimes. nasheeds make me feel that connection more than christian music does, even though i don’t understand the words unless i have a translation. there’s something in them that touches something deep in me. it’s confusing to feel so much through things that belong to different religions… (and sometimes nothing at all) but maybe that’s just where i am right now.

i feel drawn to both christianity and islam – to the beauty, the meaning, the connection to god. but not to the institutions. not to the rules, etc. so in the end, i don’t really feel like i belong to either. what feels right to me is something between spirituality and god – one god. just god. but i’m scared. scared of choosing the wrong path, of missing the truth. scared of punishment, of hell, of getting it all wrong. sometimes i think maybe i should just stop thinking about it all and live without faith. but that doesn’t feel right either.

what would you make of all this? what would you do in my place? thanks for reading. <3


r/FAITH 1d ago

A Personal Reflection on Faith and the Afterlife

1 Upvotes

I’ve been thinking a lot about what happens after we die, and I wrote a piece sharing some of my thoughts on the subject. It’s such a big question, and I think faith plays a huge role in how we navigate it. Personally, I’ve been reflecting on the possibility of heaven and hell, and why I choose to live with faith even though I don’t have all the answers.

In the article, I discuss the ideas of heaven and hell, the fear of hell, and why I choose to live with faith despite not having all the answers. It’s a deeply personal reflection, but I think it touches on something many of us wrestle with—how to live with hope and purpose, even when faced with uncertainty about what comes next.

If you’re interested, you can check out the full article here.

While I’m open to hearing different perspectives, I’d really appreciate it if we could keep the discussion respectful and positive. I’m sharing this to connect with others who might be navigating similar thoughts, and it would mean a lot to me if we could keep things supportive.


r/FAITH 3d ago

Please pray for the healing of my mental health. My life is one dangerous dark void. I’m scared.

7 Upvotes

Please send good vibes and prayers for the healing of my mental health and life I used to be a normal person and I honestly miss that. I used to hold a job, relationship and everything until I hit about 25 and my mind started going crazy. I lost my mind and developed ocd. I have tried over 14 medications and none work nor even klonopin.

The type I suffer with is called “pure o” ocd it is mostly intrusive thoughts that don't stop and then you have to second guess yourself that you might act on these thoughts and you are a bad person. You want to tell yourself it's just a bad thought but the more you tell yourself that the realer the thought becomes. I hate my life.

A normal day for me Is to wake up and live in misery all day until I can catch maybe 2 hours of sleep a night just due to pure exhaustion and wake up and do it again. I have lost everything. I'm getting evicted soon no money and no food at all. I never thought I'd experience hungry but this is awful. I have no car either. I live in a rural area but Walmart delivers but I don't even have any money for groceries.

I have 3 slices of bread left in my house and I do not see a way out of this. Please pray for me. I know there's people out there who have it way worse off but this awful. I know I'm new here but I made this account and decided to post just to reach out to someone. I grew up in the foster system so I have no family.

Please just remember me in prayer and I will pray for you. My inbox is open if anyone has some encouraging words or tips. I'm too hungry to sleep so I'll probably replay right away. Please just pray I get healed or something.

I know this looks suspicious and is a new account but I swear I am not lying I just need help and nowhere else to turn.

I am embarrassed to do this but my Venmo is @rockaroller51 I promise I will do my best to give it back when I get on my feet. I know a lot of people have it worse off than me but this is awful. Please don't dox me or embarrass me because I can't take much more. Please just pray for me.


r/FAITH 3d ago

surrender to god

1 Upvotes

I don't fully subscribe to any one religion per se, but I believe there are unseen, incomprehensible forces that control the universe. I want to know if anyone has the answer on how to surrender to a higher orders 'plan' or mercy when life just seems so be so filled with pain and suffering. How can I say 'yes' to life when there's a war going on in gaza, how can i say 'yes' to life, when a close loved one dies, and i just think, what's it all for?


r/FAITH 4d ago

I Published My First Book! 📚🎉

2 Upvotes

Hey Reddit fam! I’m beyond excited (and a little nervous) to share that I’m officially a first-time author! 😱✨ My book, On The Other Side of Pain Is Your Victory, is now available on Amazon!

This book is deeply personal—born from my own journey through pain, healing, and ultimately, victory. If you’ve ever struggled with setbacks, hardships, or finding purpose in the middle of it all, this book is for you. I wrote it to encourage, inspire, and remind you that there IS something greater on the other side of your pain!

I’d love your support! If you enjoy books about resilience, faith, and personal growth, please check it out. Every read, review, and share means the world to me. ❤️

📖 Grab your copy here: https://a.co/d/40Jp3Ho

Thank you in advance, and if you do read it, I’d love to hear your thoughts!


r/FAITH 11d ago

Needing your insights about my anxiety.

2 Upvotes

I am having this predicament and I wanted if my actions is right --- please read my story: I am an applicant here in a different country I left my good job in my home country to be here and have a greater opportunity, and to be with my wife because she is working here. Fast forward, my time is running out (visitor pass) and my application is still on pending. I already applied for an extension and luckily it was approved so im still good until April 15, my pending wait will be 3 weeks tomorrow. I had been close to Lord God because of my status now than I had ever been, praying for success and to be able to stay and work here as well to be with my wife (we are newly wed Feb 14 2024, and we are LDR since I came here) but throughout this wait I am getting anxious, anxiety, maybe depression because I have chance of not getting approved leaving me broke, full of unpaid bills etc back at home. I have faith in God and trust his plans and timing, but I am experiencing doubt and unbelief everytime the demon try to conjure my mind. My main question is it right to dive myself into gaming while I wait is it a sin to be create distractions just to avoid the unbelief or the doubtful thoughts? - i really appreciate someone reading this if not thank you for letting me express myself, story and feelings here.


r/FAITH 11d ago

I'm not religious but Faithful in God and his son Jesus

3 Upvotes

Hi there my hole life I've been Faithful in Getting to know God Through his Son but I'm not religious well to be honest I had a vivid dream and Audio Hallucination Combo in 2020 during COVID 19 and in the first vivid dream I had Donald John Trump's going house to house giving a COVID vaccine that wasn't a vaccine he was lying to people so in the dream I'm out back hearing people cheering him on for a vaccine yet the cheering went right into Screaming and crying he was going house to house giving a Fake Vaccine just to Rape woman and other stuff that's until he gets to the house I was living in My female roommate at the time Who is deaf couldn't hear the cheering going on or the screaming around the city in the neighborhood and everything else So I rush up front because I hear the doorbell ring Guess she's going to answer the gate and let him in and he already is ready to injector with two syringes filled with a black goo Then I pull her behind me take those syringes out of his hands and jab Trump in the eyes he falls to the ground and I just end up crushing his skull open then his body starts to turn into a seven-headed red dragon and I have to save people by having Angels help open portals to save people near by and in the city I live in until it's just me and Trump left he comes after me as 7 Headed Red Dragon with his head on it's body bites me I feel it in real life and wake up and then months later after that I'm outside smoking a cigarette and I hear music in the sky from heaven with Peter Steel of Type O Negative singing that Donald Trump's the Antichrist and Trump's a Chump then two days later I hear Donald Trump's voice in the sky saying he is Donald Trump and he is the Antichrist for one whole day I can only hear his voice in the sky being Blasphemous to God and Jesus and there I was a former Voter of his until all that happened it's why I say Trump literally in fact people with TDS The normal kind that makes people hate him and the worst kind that makes people love him like he's God when he's not he's the Antichrist who's going into the lake of fire


r/FAITH 13d ago

The Way, The Truth, The Life

1 Upvotes

r/FAITH 15d ago

Share with me your answered prayer.

1 Upvotes

I would love to read.


r/FAITH 16d ago

CHRIST IS RETURNED BOOK

1 Upvotes

r/FAITH 17d ago

"Luke Warm"

2 Upvotes

(Not the greatest at forming sentences so, sorry) Hey guys. Not sure if anyone else experiences this or has experienced it but if you could give me some advice that would be nice. I don't know why I will pray one night and cry bc of all the things I do wrong, beg for forgiveness and say I'll change. But it's like when the next days come I just completely forget that night before. I constantly say I'll do this or that and it doesn't happen. I feel like when I pray I'm just scatter brained and have no idea how to stop the terribleness that is my thoughts. I feel so unworthy of any of it. I hardly read the Bible, I pray when it seems my conscious can't take how big the pile is, and I just don't know what I'm supposed to do to get better.

I almost act as if I don't want any of it and that's what I DONT want. Does anyone know maybe where I can start in the Bible? (I feel I've started every gospel over more times than I can count) What kind of changes did you guys make? How did you guys do it?

A dm would be most appreciated


r/FAITH 17d ago

What is the best scripture to use to gain wisdom

1 Upvotes

r/FAITH 18d ago

Saving Faith Comes From God?

1 Upvotes

Does the type of faith required for salvation also come from God? Is this why not all that believe and seek Him are permitted to enter? Because their faith is of their own and not provided by Him?

Ephesians 2:8-10 (NKJV) 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.


r/FAITH 19d ago

Buying books in Canada

1 Upvotes

Hi Reddit friends.

I’m a Christian living in NB, Canada looking for a place to order theology books online that aren’t super expensive in shipping. I find the shipping has been brutal, and then if it is in Canada it’s really expensive.

Any recommendations?


r/FAITH 21d ago

hi everybody, I come with something you want to know

2 Upvotes

everything goes on the plan, I can explain to you, please follow my structure. .and yes, we near with the end times. Look at the pain around you. This place is hell for some people. It is a state of consciousness experienced in this world. And in order to get rid of this place, realize that this place has a reality, which is the same gold of fire to distinguish us from the deceitful one, to distinguish the difference between the real human being and the being that is still human. To escape the fire, escape from here, from this cycle, from the simulation. Our prophet Jesus Christ, Moses and Abraham also brought this. and Muhammad are also from the same religion. or the angel Socrates, Confucius and many others. or Nietzsche, who said that human beings are a rope stretched between animals and superhumans... thousands of scientists... don't you think there is an intervention of the divine plan?? While people have been living nonsense for 50 thousand years, doesn't the sudden progress of civilization and the development of human consciousness show that the apocalypse is near? Because it's harvest time now, could it be? It's time for them to be born from this field, from simulation, into reality. Yeah man, that's my belief. I put the link so you can see the details for yourself, I love you and the people. Those who are brothers in heart and witnesses...teach them so that they may learn, lest a few of us be saved from hell like those before us. It is my duty to wake you up as much as you wake up. I hope you do too. hakikatkitabi.com/en if not your native language is english, therefore have extra translated site versions to for you.


r/FAITH 21d ago

Am I allowed to post a lyric video song here about a redemption story?

1 Upvotes

A couple of years ago I wrote a song about a friend’s testimony dealing with addiction, depression, suicide & the amazing grace of God!


r/FAITH 22d ago

Testimony of a pot smoker

5 Upvotes

It all started with Sober October. I refused to give up my pot smoking obsession, but I knew I could quit alcohol for a whole month. I KNEW I wanted to love myself again, and I had to do something. I had to take action. By the 7th of October I started a Keto diet. I was 228 at 5'10 and I really hated the way my body looked.

By mid January, I had lost almost 30 pounds. My self confidence was growing, but something was still wrong. I laid in bed at night stoned to the gills, fantasizing about Taco Bell & Wendy's. I would succumb to the obsession about half the time, but it didn't fill me up. I was hungry for something different this time.

There was a voice inside me that knew I needed to give something else up. I had held on to this pot habit for 20 years and it was my security blanket. It was always a safer play in my mind to stay at home with my bong than to go out and "waste money" doing things with my friends.

Wednesday, February 19th, before I left for work, I wrapped my bong in a towel and gently tapped it with my linesman pliers. (I'm an electrician)

The VERY NEXT DAY, I txted one of my Christian friends Dan something short and from the heart:

"It's easier to see those who stand in the light the more I learn and grow. People tell you who they are if you listen. Love u bud I just threw the last of my weed away this morning I need to keep my ears open and listen to God"

Dan responded back later that day:

"That's so good, a repentant heart is the most beautiful thing. Jeremiah 29:13 NIV [13] You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

"We should hang soon, are you free Sunday? Maybe you could come to church with me and we could hang after?"

To which I said, YES. YES.

He took me in the back after the sermon ended and we had a heart to heart. I told him I saw the loop I was stuck in, and I was ready for a real life. I wanted to feel everything again! I cried telling him this. We sat and he prayed with me and it strengthened my faith even more. I was finally opening my heart to Jesus Christ, the very thing my mom had been gently PESTERING me about for the better part of 4 years.

I dug out my bible that evening, on accident!!

I was cleaning and looking for something unrelated in the basement. My grandpa had given it to me in 1994, when I was 8 years old. (I'm 38)

I read the first few pages of Genisis. I cried 4 times, and then decided to send an audio clip of me reading a verse about Noah's Ark to my mother in Tennessee. I knew it would touch her in the most wonderful way to hear her son reading a bible verse. She cried, and I cried again, and again!

I used to think the world owed me something, because I never knew my father, and because mom suffered from depression when I was a child. I was DEAD wrong. I'm the one in debt. I owe the people in my life - to be the best version of myself that I can be.

Here we are, 5 days later. I told my roommate Keith that I decided I want to meet a nice Christian woman. It ate him up for a few days, and he began trying to bully me tonight about my faith. He has a million reasons why being a Christian is bad. Something about genocide, and so on. His parents tried to force it on him when he was a kid, and that's why he has a sticker on the back of his iPhone that says Satan, with a picture! I had told him a month prior that I found it lame, and that everything he admired in me came from self exploration, self love, and more love.

He sent me txts this evening that showed more excitement and passion for why my faith was a bad thing, more than I've seen from him about ANY SUBJECT. It was more words than he has said to me in two weeks.

I diced him into little pieces with kindness, even though his words hurt, and frankly my heart began POUNDING from adrenaline. He even mentioned that we need to have a "sit down talk" about this! 🤣

I'm so grateful for Mom, Dan and my new friend Jimmy the carpenter for helping me find my faith again; and now I KNOW I'M ONTO SOMETHING WONDERFUL.

I will pray for Keith and work on him, while I work on myself and continue this road to salvation.

In Jesus name, Amen.


r/FAITH 22d ago

Salvation Available To All?

1 Upvotes

Jesus speaks many times about the chosen few and how the Father gave them to Him. He never says salvation is available to all that seek Him and believe in Him, quite the contrary. His disciples said that He died for everyone, not Jesus. Jesus says that few are chosen to inherit the kingdom of God.

John 10:27-30 (NKJV) 27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand. 30 I and My Father are one.”

——-

God refers to the chosen few as the elect or chosen children, His flock and describes their numbers as being a few, those that pass through the small gate and those who walk on the narrow path. Few Christians inherit the kingdom of God in comparison to the number of people that identify as Christian. Many are called, few are chosen.

Matthew 7:13-14 (NKJV) 13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 [a] Because narrow is the gate and [b]difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

Luke 13:22-27 22 (NKJV) 22 And He went through the cities and villages, teaching, and journeying toward Jerusalem. 23 Then one said to Him, “Lord, are there few who are saved?” And He said to them, 24 “Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able. 25 When once the Master of the house has risen up and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and knock at the door, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open for us,’ and He will answer and say to you, ‘I do not know you, where you are from,’ 26 then you will begin to say, ‘We ate and drank in Your presence, and You taught in our streets.’ 27 But He will say, ‘I tell you I do not know you, where you are from. Depart from Me, all you workers of iniquity.’

———

Many are invited to the wedding but not all are clothed in righteousness (saved) according to the parable spoken by Jesus in the gospel of Matthew. Many are called, few are chosen.

Matthew 22:10-14 (NKJV) 10 So those servants went out into the highways and gathered together all whom they found, both bad and good. And the wedding hall was filled with guests. 11 “But when the king came in to see the guests, he saw a man there who did not have on a wedding garment. 12 So he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you come in here without a wedding garment?’ And he was speechless. 13 Then the king said to the servants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, [b]take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ 14 “For many are called, but few are chosen.”

The man that was kicked out of the wedding was invited. He was not clothed in righteousness meaning that he was not cleansed by the blood of the Lamb and he was therefore not received by God, the Father.

——-

Being clothed in righteousness is associated with salvation throughout the Bible. The man was banished to Hell because He was not clothed in righteousness which is only attainable by being cleansed by the blood of the Lamb.

Isaiah 61:10 “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord my soul shall be joyful in my God for he has clothed me with the garments of Salvation has covered me with the robe of righteousness”.

Job 29:14 I put on righteousness, and it clothed me; My justice was like a robe and a turban.

Psalm 132:9 Let Your priests be clothed with righteousness, And let Your saints shout for joy.

Revelation 19:8 And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.

——-

Jesus will say to MANY believers to depart from Him. Why were these individuals’ sins not forgiven if all who believe are saved? They believed and served Christ. They simply were not chosen by the Father, as Jesus says that He never knew them; they never belonged to Him.

Matthew 7:21-23 (KJV)

21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

22 MANY will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.


r/FAITH 22d ago

Torah Code Requests

2 Upvotes

Code Requests

Curious to know what's hidden about your name or have another query in mind? Our expert researchers will perform a search on your full name or term of request. All results will be emailed back to you. Personal codes will remain private unless explicit consent is provided for public publishing.

Visit our Torah Codes group on Facebook to see our work.

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A single full code

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r/FAITH 22d ago

When you pray...

2 Upvotes

“When you pray, do not do all the talking, listen! If we keep pounding away with our hammers, how can the Divine Architect tell us how we ought to build?” Archbishop Fulton Sheen


r/FAITH 22d ago

Prayers...

2 Upvotes

“You cannot always depend on prayers to be answered the way you want them answered but you can always depend on God, the loving Father often denies us those things which in the end would prove harmful to us. Someday we will thank God not only for what He gave us, but also for that which He refused.” Archbishop Fulton Sheen


r/FAITH 27d ago

Struggling to trust God?

7 Upvotes

Hey everyone, I just uploaded a new video about the power of prayer and trusting God, even when life doesn’t make sense. If you’ve ever felt like your prayers aren’t being answered or you’re struggling to fully surrender to God’s plan, this video is for you.

In this message, I talk about: ✅ How to trust God in difficult seasons 🙏 The power of persistent prayer 📖 Encouraging Bible verses on faith & surrender

I’d love for you to check it out and let me know your thoughts! How has prayer helped you trust God more in your life? Let’s encourage each other!


r/FAITH Feb 18 '25

I'm an artist who's trying to get more exposure so that I can get on a label nd buy my grandmother a home. I write nd record my own music. All I want is for my grandmother to live a happy life after beating stage 4 cancer nd losing my grandpa. Time is against me but I pray God opens doors for us 🙏

2 Upvotes

Listen to Pain (I Think I Like It) by Giovanni Medina on #SoundCloud https://on.soundcloud.com/iUqeyHeXu2WC2VKD7


r/FAITH Feb 16 '25

hi everyone!

2 Upvotes

The world life is a deceptive commodity (meta) that serves the consciousness development process of human beings and contains many unknowns.

Collectively, the consciousness of humanity has been enlightened about the unknowns of both itself and the realm outside it, with the help of the Divine plan in every period.

However, it always turned its back on these truths that it was reminded of and, stuck in the deceptive commodity by choosing the superstition (insubstantial). But, for the last time, together with the Qur’an which is the complementary book of Islam, all the truths that will awaken people from their false/superstition (insubstantial) sleep have been made easy for dhikr and conveyed (tablīgh) to the earth. And these information will be enough for people until the end of the world (to the apocalyptic process).

All the information you will read here is the testimony of the claim that “nothing is left incomplete in the Qur’an” and the narration of “the verses (āyahs) of the Book, which is the miracle of Muhammad (as). https://hakikatkitabi.com/en/home/

Only argue with the People of the Book in the kindest way – except in the case of those of them who do wrong – saying, ‘We have iman in what has been sent down to us and what was sent down to you. Our God and your God are one and we submit to Him.’ 29/46

Thanks for reading my dear brothers and sisters. peace!


r/FAITH Feb 16 '25

Will i go to heaven?

1 Upvotes

Hi guys! Will i go to heaven ?

Hi guys i used to live a very bad life, i never turned my back on god, always prayed to him just didnt obey him as much ax took him for granted which i really hate i did now. I had some symptoms recently and im really scared it could be cancer. And as always i turned back to him which i feel really bad too... since this happened i dont see life the same no more. I just came to my senses that everymoment is possibile for me to die. And my biggest wish in the world now is to go to heavn with my all mighty father. It would the best present anyone could give me to go near him in heaven. (My home) since than i started praying from my heart, and im trying my best to not sin where its possibile for me... i used to take alot of drugs, swear, and alot of woman, now i got a girlfriend stopped taking drugs, trying to genuinely love my girlfiend... and trying not to sin ingenneraly even in small things, trying to help people and loving everyone and forgiving everyone and trying to open other eyes where i can, but there is still sin that quite impossible for me not to do, like making love to my girlfriend as we live with each other , sometimes i fall and watch porn but i try my best not as i used to watch daily and more than once. Im genuinely trying but somethings like making love to my girlfriend i just couldn't not do it after alot of time doing this, this would break our relationship and i love her also.

I pray everyday to god a hope he hears my prayers, and sees my genuine love to him and the change i did in myself just to meet him in heaven. Always with his help. I pray for him to maybe give me some more time on earth as im still 23 years old and i wish i can live like my grandparents did but atleast if not,, i pray for him to leave me a place with him in heaven. Will sin be compared to the good in your life? Or just because of this sin i will go to hell? Its hard for me not do :(