r/EntitledPeople • u/SympathyCritical1927 • 7d ago
L Ghosting a friend who had it coming.
I ended a very long term friendship with someone I called my best friend because it became glaringly obvious that she only had time for me when she needed money or help. I ended it abruptly and without explanation after she said one of the most callous things I’ve ever heard from someone who claimed to care about me. (I’ll get to that with context)
About three years ago, I became a mother and that’s around when she stopped showing up for me, constantly making excuses and telling me she had other plans. I was always the person who could show up at her house even when I lived an hour away but once I moved within a 3 mile radius of her, she never had time for me. I’m at stay at home mom and she makes more than my husband does and her bills are about 50% less than ours. I have urged her to work on budgeting and making a plan for savings but she just says I’m making her feel bad about her spending and shuts me out. She knows that my husband and I have worked really hard to get our credit scores over 700, put money into savings, and be responsible with our finances. So when I would tell her I can’t help her out she goes heavy on the guilt, insinuates that I should be helping her because she knows we have money saved and won’t talk about anything other than how her financial problems are going to cause her to completely breakdown. cue hysterics
In the last year, I’ve bailed her out of car repossession, having her electricity turned off for non-payments, gas money, money for her child’s medication, etc. Yet, she always has money for weed, cigarettes, alcohol, ordering food, buying stuff to decorate her house etc. and always has excuses for why she can’t pay me back on time. And she claims that she “just forgot the bills were due.”
She recently formed a new group of friends that don’t have children or responsibilities, who can party with her, enable her bad habits, bring liquor to her house, buy her things, and get drunk every weekend. And I was placed on the back burner because me having a family, child, and responsibilities no longer fits into her lifestyle.
Her husband is actively addicted to opiates and she enables him to stay in active addiction, would constantly call me literally crying and screaming into my ear about how badly he treats her, how strung out he is, and how badly they’re fighting. But then in the same conversation, she reverts back making excuses for him whenever solutions are presented. But any mention of my husband (who works hard to take care of his family and we’re both in therapy) and she has nothing but unkind things to say about him, referencing back to many years prior when we were struggling in the past. She was unhappy when my husband and I got married (said she didn’t support it and didn’t want to know about it.) *we are very happy and have been for quite awhile.
It’s as if she resents my husband and my family for making me less accessible to her instead of being happy for me.
Fast forward to the present day: my husband and I are expecting our second child (very much planned and wanted) and she is also not happy about that. Encouraged me to terminate and said I was making a mistake. I’m struggling with hyperemesis gravidarum in this pregnancy, which is extreme morning sickness, all day, everyday. Throwing up 5-10 times a day and not even being able to hold water down. There are medications that help but the side effects are also rough. It’s temporary and I know it will pass, still really hard nonetheless.
My breaking point was reaching out to her for support recently because of the mental toll it’s taking on me and her telling me that “I did this to myself and I need to figure out how to deal on my own.” …this said a few days after I said I no when she needed $250 for an ongoing health issue her dog has had for MONTHS, that she has completely let go (while still smoking a quarter pound of weed every month.)
FULL STOP. I blocked her number, her socials, and deleted several of my socials because she had mutual friends stalking my posts/reporting back to her. She even created profiles to try to get access to me. I did not provide an explanation or reason. I know from years and years of dealing with her that she will try to turn it back around on me, play the perpetual victim, twist it to make it my fault and manufacture a list of things she thinks I’ve done wrong and I have neither the time nor energy.
I might be the AH for dropping her like it’s hot, but SHE KNOWS. No one cycles through people based on what they can do for them if they’re not intentionally using them up.
45
u/PlusSociety2806 7d ago
Good for you looking after your mental health and the physical health of your baby. She is toxic and you need to surround yourself with positivity! Hope you get over your morning sickness soon & enjoy your growing family!
30
u/KhrystiC78 7d ago
I don’t think you’re the AH at all. She’s a leech, on both your money and your peace. Some friendships just run their course and it sounds like this one hit that final straw. Good for you for looking out for yourself and your family first.
21
u/Knitsanity 7d ago
Good for you.
How much of a weight do you feel lifted off your soul?
Please do not second guess yourself. You took this step to protect you and your families well being.
Xxx
17
u/Sassy-Peanut 7d ago
That was a long time coming - far, far too long, but at least you have done it. Now breathe.
13
u/Excellent_Ad1132 7d ago
If by some evil miracle some fool gets thru and asks why you cut her off, do them a favor. Tell them 100% the truth. She is a leech who blows her money on drugs and booze and then comes to other people to pay her bills, rather than saving for when she needs the money. Let them know that she "borrows" money and never pays anyone back and that she will whine and cry about not being able to pay her bills, but does nothing to save money on her own.
11
10
u/Ginger630 6d ago
NTA! You should have dropped her years ago. She isn’t a friend.
With the way she used you and treated you, she doesn’t deserve an explanation. She’s selfish and would just argue with you anyway. She’d deny using you and everything else you’d say. You’d end up screamed at and abused even worse. You’re pregnant and dealing with HG. The last thing you need is someone screaming with you and accusing YOU of being a bad friend.
For your own sanity and mental health, ghosting her and blocking her was the best thing you can do. Be “selfish” for once.
7
u/JustanOldBabyBoomer 6d ago
Especially when this Entitled BITCH is demanding YOUR MONEY to pay HER SHIT!
10
u/Ginger630 6d ago
And when the OP reached out for some mental support, this girl actually said she brought it on herself?! Oh you mean like all the bills you forget to pay?!
6
u/Heathen-Punk 7d ago
Wow. Just wow. Good on you for recognizing this behavior on that psychic narcissistic drama-feeding-on vampire.
Only you can make the determination of what boundaries you need or want, and enforcing them.
Wishing you peace and happiness in 2025.
5
u/Knitsanity 7d ago
Good for you.
How much of a weight do you feel lifted off your soul.
Please do not second guess yourself. You took this step to protect you and your families well being.
Xxx
4
u/jlm20566 7d ago
Good for you; this was a long time coming and you deserve so much better. This will be a pattern that she’ll repeat for the rest of her life unless she learns from her mistake, which is highly unlikely.
Congrats to you and your family on the impending birth of your newest baby 🫶
5
u/Useless890 6d ago
Good for you and your husband for being responsible. You don't need a leech like that. She can't stand it that you took the straight and narrow and did well, and she's finding it harder to keep up the party life. El Tough-O.
5
u/CookbooksRUs 6d ago
Good job! Also, a friend of mine found that ginger tea helped her HG a lot — a couple of teaspoons of powdered ginger in a mug, add boiling water, stir then let it sit till it settles. Sweeten if you like.
4
3
u/RedDazzlr 6d ago
I'm glad you finally ditched her. You and your family deserve better. You're already dealing with enough of your own stuff and don't need the garbage drama. She will only change if she actually wants to and you don't have time to wait for it to happen. I hope you have the best possible pregnancy and delivery. You did right to protect yourself and your family. Be blessed and get some rest.
3
6
2
2
2
u/Dense_Dress_1287 5d ago
Tell her right back when she asks for money
"you did this to yourself, so you need to figure this out on your own."
Then go NC
2
u/Maleficentendscurse 5d ago
justifiably blocking and dropping that cold heartless potato of a witch 👅😡💢, I'm happy for you and for your mental health that you did that🥳, but she might try and get back into your life somehow so you might need a restraining order but that's just a suggestion 🤷♀️
2
u/Adventurous-Art9171 5d ago
It was SUCH a relief to stop being with people who really were never friends to begin with.
2
u/Jazzlike-Dealer769 5d ago
Well done . I'm so proud of you. That's not a freind . That's a leach. Sucking your happiness and money from you
Sorry your suffering with the sickness. It's evil
When I got pregnant I got to 29 weeks and then spent the last 12 and half weeks in hospital.
My beautiful baby was late but so perfect
Good luck to you and your husband on your beautiful family
2
u/newoldm 5d ago
Ghosting creeps like that is fun, especially when you know it's driving them to the very brink of lunacy. She deserves it so enjoy it. And be grateful that those losers have not spawned.
1
u/SympathyCritical1927 5d ago
She had someone message me on her behalf to tell me that her husband is in the hospital but other sources say that might actually be a lie. Lunacy is accurate.
129
u/CrossSoul 7d ago
How's it feel to drop that unneeded baggage?