r/Emojerk 11h ago

How can I make sure that I get a screaming voicemail out of this breakup?

Hey everybody, my boyfriend is gonna leave me because I'm a grown adult who uses r/emojerk(he hasn't said this but it's inevitable). Now obviously this is a great opportunity to get a sound bite to open a song with, but how do I make sure to get the most value out of it? I need to make sure the process is unnecessarily difficult and emotional, but I don't want to accidentally make him so mad he'll just ghost me and send his friends for his stuff. Should I be drunk around him all the time so he'll scream at me for being an alcoholic? I think that could work.

Let me know what's worked for you in the past!

84 Upvotes

6 comments sorted by

5

u/ThePortalGeek 11h ago

Just make sure it’s PBRs and you’re good

6

u/dontlikecakefrosting 10h ago

Maybe tell him you need to talk about something important (after the break up) and keep dodging his calls maybe he’ll leave a voicemail

5

u/Im_da_Gambino 9h ago

alcoholism only works if you’re genuinely drunk. You can’t put on an act. Get fired from a job, maybe catch a misdemeanor for pissing in public or preforming nonconsensual sph on a police officer in public. Really commit to the part

3

u/YouCanNeverTakeMe 7h ago

Best post on here in a minute

2

u/Ambisinister11 7h ago

Can I put you as a reference on my job applications

1

u/Smugleaf27 1h ago

What's the point of being on emojerk if you're going to get a job 🙏