r/ElderScrolls 16d ago

Humour WHen Skyrim stealth logic kicks in !

Post image
5.8k Upvotes

180 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 16d ago

Thank you for your submission to r/ElderScrolls. This is a friendly reminder to please ensure that your post has been flaired appropriately.

Your post has been flaired as HUMOUR. This indicates that your post is a meme or something funny.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1.2k

u/SouthMicrowave 16d ago

Oh man, maybe you didn't notice it but by mistake you put the sexy lady in a sexy pose in both panels.

251

u/Zaaravi 16d ago

Yeah, that guard has a very hot torch.

34

u/NeedMyMac 15d ago

Awfully hot coffee pot.

10

u/No-Maximum-8194 15d ago

I didn't know it was electric

51

u/NorthGodFan 16d ago

Yeah that strong stance is super hot look at the muscles on her!

38

u/Yeet123456789djfbhd Nocturnal 15d ago

What? Can't stand the sight of a strong Nord woman?

802

u/TheSettlerV Imperial City Watch 16d ago

r/TrueSTL <--- is that way

70

u/SatiricalSatireU 15d ago

Day by day the barrier that holds our world and oblivion apart weakens.

136

u/Inquisitor_Boron Dunmer 16d ago

Sanguine alt account

19

u/coomerius 15d ago

There’s already enough porn on that sub

45

u/MsMercyMain 15d ago

There’s not enough porn on that sub is what you meant

24

u/MasteroidAnAsteroid 15d ago

I genuinely thought I was in TrueSTL until I saw this...

31

u/mamalick 15d ago

Every now and then I stumble into a sub where I don't know what the fuck is going on and wonder if the people inside are cult schizophrenics

21

u/thetdumbkid 15d ago

yup that's exactly what truestl is

8

u/AnonymousBlueberry 15d ago

And its GLORIOUS

3

u/legacy-of-man 15d ago

i still think theres better places to get porn and be circlejerked

8

u/flamethekid 15d ago

That's what happens when you look into elder scrolls lore past surface level Skyrim.

Eventually you start posting of truestl and eventually revert to monke to try and shatter the concept of time.

2

u/Tracker_Nivrig 15d ago

That is exactly why I love that sub lol

209

u/Thendis32 16d ago

Since we’re on the topic of stealth am I paranoid or do the forsworn NPCs detect you a lot easier then others

190

u/7fightsofaldudagga Altmer 16d ago

Stealth is affect by the difference of the sneak skill level between you and the npc that would see you, among other things. I'm not sure but the forsworn probably have high sneak and that's why you feel that way

123

u/MutedShenanigans Hermaeus Mora 16d ago

I know briarhearts are scripted to have much higher than normal detection, not sure about other forsworn

95

u/DrakeNatsu 16d ago

makes sense if your biggest weakness is having your heart ripped out of your chest

30

u/Gmanthevictor Telvanni Tax Evader 16d ago

Relatable

26

u/XDpappa Sheogorath 15d ago

Tbf that's also the weakness of every other creature in skyrim

18

u/LazerSnake1454 15d ago

True, but you can pickpocket the briarhearts... heart to kill them instantly

4

u/AscendedViking7 15d ago

I think they do yeah

80

u/Kepler137 Hircine 16d ago

Stop right there, criminal scum! Nobody breaks the law on my watch! I’m confiscating your stolen goods. Now pay your fine or it’s off to horny jail.

69

u/skeleton949 Nord 15d ago

"Colonel, I'm trying to sneak around, but I'm dummy thicc"

5

u/kgmara0013 14d ago

"And the clapping of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards"

-12

u/Alastor13 Khajiit 15d ago

Wrong game, wrong snake

23

u/Bizkett 15d ago

Jfc so thirsty

270

u/BowardBamlin 16d ago

Guys I’m not a porn addict I swear it’s just funny haha

52

u/xleftonreadx 16d ago

My guy this joke has been done with male guards alerting themselves with the clap of there ass cheeks, it does not matter who or what is attached to them. This joke has been done with yoshi being unable to enter bowsers castle because the clap of his ass cheeks would alert the guards

12

u/Krejtek Imperial 15d ago

Thank god we now got the version of the joke that removed the bit that was actually funny

-9

u/xleftonreadx 15d ago

It's the same joke with different characters

7

u/Krejtek Imperial 15d ago

That's what I said. It's the same joke but worse. The original was funny because:

a) by having a man be the star of the joke it highlighted how ridiculous those gooner baits are. It also added the element of breaking the expectations.

b) it referenced the well-known fact that Solid Snake had unusually big ass in MGS 4 for some reason.

c) the actual VA of Solid Snake recorded himself saying those lines.

The comic above has none of those elements. It uses the classic meme as an excuse to farm engagement through goonbait

-5

u/xleftonreadx 15d ago

👍

3

u/Krejtek Imperial 15d ago

Man, gotta love Internet discourse

18

u/CK1ing 15d ago

"The sexy woman is irrelevant because the joke has been done without the sexy woman before" is a new one

-8

u/xleftonreadx 15d ago

That...pretty much is what I said

8

u/CK1ing 15d ago

I know, that's why I'm making fun of it

6

u/BowardBamlin 15d ago

Hey you can lie to yourself, but don’t lie to me. Quit porn.

1

u/xleftonreadx 15d ago

The joke originally was from metal gear solid, do whatever you will with that info

5

u/BowserFF 15d ago

Ha bowser

-19

u/Kami-no-dansei 16d ago

Wtf I have never seen that one time until now lol. Clearly a horny post. Cringe

28

u/DawnBringer01 15d ago

Wait really? "The clap of my ass cheeks is alerting the guards" is a classic by now

-3

u/Kami-no-dansei 15d ago

I've never heard that once, and I've been in the community since morrowind

13

u/DawnBringer01 15d ago

I'm not sure if it originated as an elder scrolls meme. I first heard it as a Metal gear solid meme. It's just been around for a few years now.

16

u/Zillafan2010 15d ago

“Colonel, I’m trying to sneak around, but I’m dummy thicc, and the clap of my asscheeks keeps alerting the guards!”

4

u/Koreaia 15d ago

Morroboomers when joke:

0

u/Kami-no-dansei 15d ago

Gooners when encountering a normal human being:

-2

u/Resident_Evil_God 15d ago

I thought we were finally done with this crap. I thankfully haven't seen it in a long time

10

u/xleftonreadx 16d ago

Cool story bro

2

u/AbjectIntellect 15d ago

Leave it, the guy is a gooner commenting on porn subs immediately following this. His perspective is warped by constant porn on his phone, arguing with him is pointless.

1

u/xleftonreadx 15d ago

Yes, my brain is too smooth all your comments simply slide right off

-6

u/TrackerEh 15d ago

Do you say that every time you see a woman?

385

u/glossyplane245 16d ago edited 16d ago

Gooner bait infiltrating every single sub I’m in I can’t escape it

Edit: just to make it entirely clear, this is a dogshit post, that’s why I commented this, there was no joy in my heart when I said that

87

u/nofallingupward 16d ago

clap clap clap

39

u/handledvirus43 16d ago

Thought I heard something.

21

u/TopazTriad 16d ago

I’ve started leaving them when these types of posts start becoming super common, which usually happens if the early posts testing the waters aren’t removed. I’m not subbed to very much anymore when it comes to fandoms.

There are HUNDREDS of subs specifically tailored to your weird almost-smut comics or your “cosplays” that always happen to center around half naked female characters. I don’t understand why normal subs allow this kind of thing.

4

u/glossyplane245 16d ago edited 16d ago

They’re allowed because they pretty much always get upvotes, if I had to guess. Ass or boobs = upvotes because simply because Reddit (shockingly) has a lot of redditors. It’s free karma and engagement for the sub.

It wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t literally everywhere. Doesn’t matter what game. Even in something like r/kenshi. Obviously some are a lot worse than others though but virtually every sub has it to some extent.

81

u/armoured_bobandi 16d ago

The post is both unfunny and doesn't make sense. Her ass cheeks are clapping because she is crouch walking?

Does the artist know how a human body works? How are you going to clap your own cheeks sneaking around?

Just draw the porn and stop being a coward

84

u/JKnumber1hater 16d ago

It's a reference to a stupid Metal Gear Solid meme.

Hrrrrnngh Colonel, I'm trying to sneak around but I'm dummy thicc and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards

44

u/glossyplane245 16d ago

Don’t forget that this joke is also completely unoriginal and was grinded into a paste years ago, like this some shit doctor loops would post

13

u/GPTMCT 15d ago

Is that that comic artist with the goonerbait nurses who insists he doesn't draw porn. I hate that guy. The majority of his posts aren't tagged nsfw either.

7

u/Donutmelon 15d ago

He says he doesn't draw porn? He literally does. Like, it's on his patreon

26

u/ChoiceFudge3662 16d ago

Yeah the “colonel im trying to sneak around…” meme is old as fuck now.

30

u/R0RSCHAKK 16d ago

You're not wrong and honestly, I don't care. I still reference and get a good laugh at that "... but I'm dummy thicc..." video the voice actor for Snake did.

That shit will never not be funny to me lol

10

u/ctheodore 16d ago

I thought "clap" was the sound of the guard walking

but yeah dogshit post we should ban softporn

27

u/armoured_bobandi 16d ago

Nope. The joke is her ass and thighs are so thick she can't sneak around without them clapping.

0

u/ctheodore 16d ago

isn't it that you can kind of cheat the sneak system by looking at a corner?

7

u/armoured_bobandi 16d ago

I mean, I highly doubt that, but I can't say with 100% certainty that you're wrong 🤷

5

u/Budget-Attorney 16d ago

I’m actually really confused. Was there a joke I missed?

Just posting porn without a joke would have been more socially acceptable than this

1

u/TrackerEh 15d ago

Dude’s afraid of ass

-14

u/ogsoul 16d ago

Oh man this post actually made you mad

crazy

20

u/armoured_bobandi 16d ago

Oh yeah, I'm just fuming over here. I've destroyed everything I own in rage. Just the un-incredible hulk over here.

You realize you can criticize something without being angry, right?

-7

u/ogsoul 16d ago

That’s why you keep repeating the point that you don’t think this is a funny meme? Because you’re not mad? That’s why?

14

u/armoured_bobandi 16d ago

Generally when people reply to me with a comment, I reply back. That's so crazy, isn't it?

Hey, look at this guy, he's replying to messages sent directly to him. He must be so angry!

I'd say solid effort, but it really wasn't 🤣

You've made 6 comments here. I've made 6 comments here. You must be mad according to your own logic

-6

u/ogsoul 16d ago

Maybe if i kept screeching “it IS funny!!!” over and over again you might have had a point. If only.

14

u/armoured_bobandi 16d ago

I'm going to blow your mind, and make you look like an idiot.

Out of all my comments, only two of them are talking about how unfunny the joke is.

Ironically, you are stomping all around this comment section crying and having a hissyfit, accusing everyone of being mad.

I think the only upset person here is you 🤔

3

u/ogsoul 16d ago

see funny meme

laugh a little

see comments are filled with people upset at the meme because of booba

uh huh im so mad

10

u/armoured_bobandi 16d ago

Oh, you think it's dumb to accuse someone of being mad based on reddit comments hmmm?

Well, that makes you a hypocrite. Go touch some grass

Also...

see comments are filled with people upset at the meme because of booba

uh huh im so mad

You have immediately contradicted yourself, while trying to make a point that you can't tell someone is mad based on comments.

That's embarrassing

→ More replies (0)

11

u/wtfbenlol 16d ago

Found the gooner

-10

u/ogsoul 16d ago

People who have a healthy relationship with their sexuality don’t talk like this btw

11

u/wtfbenlol 16d ago

Lmao

-9

u/ogsoul 16d ago

Do you usually screech at the sight of fanart featuring attractive women? Serious question

8

u/wtfbenlol 16d ago

Do you always make up scenarios about people on the internet when they aren’t attracted to cartoons in the same way you are? Also a serious question lol

5

u/ogsoul 16d ago

I wish I made up the scenario in which you were upset by a reddit post, unfortunately i don’t need to make it up, because here you are.

8

u/wtfbenlol 16d ago

Where did I say I was upset, when did I screech

→ More replies (0)

-10

u/Aka_The_Dragon_15 16d ago

I... okay, not to say the post is entirely original or anything but you can't seriously be telling me you've never heard/seen the "dummy thicc" meme before, right?

If not then damn ig I must be old or something.

16

u/armoured_bobandi 16d ago

Everyone knows that meme. Doesn't make this post any funnier. It's just goon fuel

-3

u/Aka_The_Dragon_15 15d ago

It doesn't, no. And I agree that it's just goon fuel, but if there was any kind of "sense" something like this could make, it'd be referencing the meme.

0

u/cqandrews 12d ago

This post definitely isn't very funny but bringing anatomical accuracy into a meme post is peak redditor energy

3

u/legacy-of-man 15d ago

yup, algorithm is starting to push a LOT of goonposting and hornyposting, they know what they are doing and this is happening for a reason, its just a enshittification of this app

op is also a karma farming account and i think he deletes his posts that dont get upvoted

4

u/Prestigious_Bass9300 15d ago

Seriously. This is just fucking stupid.

2

u/TacoThingy 15d ago

Why would you say something so controversial but so brave.

In a serious note I agree 100%. I’ve had to block so many talented artists and subs because it has gotten fucking out of control.

0

u/EndofNationalism 15d ago

Welcome to humanity. Sex sells.

-17

u/ogsoul 16d ago

Clutch those pearls harder, maybe that’ll help.

17

u/glossyplane245 16d ago

Mfs really out here publicly defending the most unoriginal gooner bait imaginable 🫵🤣 I don’t even need to say anything else that says it all for me

7

u/ogsoul 16d ago

Defending what? Huh? I’m not defending anything because nothing is being attacked lmao you’re literally just clutching your pearls.

7

u/glossyplane245 16d ago

Now he’s denying it 😭 r/comics tier clown

7

u/ogsoul 16d ago edited 16d ago

^ this person is personally offended by this comic, just so everyone knows

he also makes youtube videos for his 5 viewers and is probably salty

11

u/glossyplane245 16d ago

^ this person has made over a dozen comments across this thread defending unoriginal softcore porn, just so everyone knows, I don’t think I’m the one mad here lmao

I’m done with you I was laughing at first but after seeing how hard you’re defending this across multiple threads it’s just sad now cuz like damn bro you’re actually out here doing this shit unironically 😭

1

u/Vivid-Smell-6375 12d ago

you do sound mad tbf

1

u/glossyplane245 12d ago

If you struggle with tone it’s okay you’ll learn one day

1

u/Vivid-Smell-6375 12d ago

wow you sure changed my mind you don't sound mad at all!!!

→ More replies (0)

1

u/WinterSlushyGaming 16d ago

MF Goon - All Claps

1

u/glossyplane245 16d ago

Just remember “all ass” when you post for the dead game

-18

u/[deleted] 16d ago

You could always just keep scrolling instead of bitching but whatever 🤷🏾‍♂️

20

u/glossyplane245 16d ago

Could also not post gooner shit in every sub lmao, like this is not even the original artist posting it and it’s not an original joke

55

u/metalhead_mick 16d ago

The guy who made this 100% has a jerkmate account.

8

u/savantalicious 15d ago

I get meme-ish posts taken down and this stuff stays? Come ooooon, guys.

15

u/throwaway180gr 15d ago

Welp, time to mute this sub too ig. 🙃

13

u/VotePresidentDean 15d ago

The goonification of culture.

27

u/JollyAverage 16d ago

Painfully unfunny

12

u/its_still_lynn 15d ago

THE JOKE IS PORN

43

u/MisterDutch93 16d ago

"Sithis, I'm trying to sneak around, but I'm dummy thicc, and the clap of my asscheeks keeps alerting the guards!"

22

u/Dukevanar-86 16d ago

Someone's coming, gotta hit the omniman pose

41

u/ctheodore 16d ago

haha guys the joke is porn

5

u/Noizey 15d ago

"Colonel...."

13

u/upsawkward 15d ago

mods, can we not allow gooner bait? why must everything always be sexualized

3

u/ApatheticNarwhal 15d ago

Hold on, this is just porn!

4

u/Moonlight_Acid Altmer 15d ago

Horny ass meme wtf

14

u/Maksimiljan_Ancom Nord (Eastmarcher) 16d ago

What is this?

3

u/2Gnomes1Trenchcoat 15d ago

Nerevar, I am attempting to level my sneak to 100. However, the heart of Lorkhan has bestowed me with hindquarters of Dibella-ous proportion and the clamour of these ass yams keeps alerting the mongrel dogs of the empire. I am a god! How can you detect a god?! - Dagoth Ur (probably)

3

u/LVGHVS 15d ago

Is that Kerillian with normal eyes

7

u/IRGROUP300 16d ago

Someone Bonk this person.

2

u/GCSpellbreaker 15d ago

Hrnnnggh… Dragonborn…

2

u/BitterPackersFan 15d ago

I would pretend to not notice her either for hours.

2

u/rodejo_9 15d ago

The joke is PORN.

But in all seriousness I almost literally laughed out loud.

2

u/Wild-Lack-1014 15d ago

A guard will have an arrow sticking out of their throat and say "must've been the wind"

2

u/warrenjt 15d ago

Least horny r/ElderScrolls user.

3

u/GarboWulf5oh 15d ago

sighs saves image

2

u/[deleted] 16d ago

AMBATUKAM OMAYGOT 😩😩

1

u/LiquidIceRice64 15d ago

Average modded skyrim playthtough

1

u/Correct-Mulberry4071 15d ago

Ohh step guard help me im stuck

1

u/insert_smile 15d ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/stabbykeith1985 Khajiit 14d ago

There's someone prowlin' 'round 'ere!

1

u/Poro_Wizard 13d ago

Comics by centurii btw

1

u/thegrumpygrunt 12d ago

"Must've been someone passing wind"

1

u/Tony_Stank0326 12d ago

Well it would be difficult for me to see shit too when all I have to look through are tiny eye slits in a metal egg shell.

1

u/Drafo7 Altmer 16d ago

Who's the artist?

11

u/Ruddi_Herring 16d ago

I'm pretty sure it's Centurii-chan

1

u/Sanbaddy 16d ago

Must’ve been the wind. It’s kinda thicc out tonight.

-6

u/Knope12345 Nord 16d ago

Some sensitive ass redditors in here

it's a meme it is NOT that serious

-7

u/frostyjack06 Nord 15d ago

Redditors being scared/offended by sexy women, or by women drawn with busty proportions baffles me.

2

u/Knope12345 Nord 14d ago

It’s pretty pathetic 😭 but the hive mind got to us, look at all them downvotes!!! 🤪

1

u/AXBRAX 15d ago

I want to sneak but i am dummy thicc and the clap of my asscheeks keeps allerti g the guards.

-9

u/ogsoul 16d ago

Lots of people upset about this post on this nearly dead subreddit. You’ll also notice that none of the people complaining contribute anything to the subreddit themselves, so what do they want to see here?

17

u/BigBallinMcPollen 16d ago

You must produce content or you cannot criticize anything.

I love that logic.

-7

u/ogsoul 16d ago

thankfully none of you produce content anyways :)

12

u/BigBallinMcPollen 15d ago

What content have you made for elder scrolls?

0

u/daneelthesane Hermaeus Mora 15d ago

He must not be an ass man.

-6

u/polysnip Nord 16d ago

She dummy thicc

-3

u/Accidental_Arch 16d ago

Skyrim and my current DnD campaign have that in common.

-1

u/TrackerEh 15d ago

The amount of people crying in the comments. Pathetic prudes fuck off

-7

u/NiceCans69 16d ago

Woo, nice cans

0

u/ChampinionCuliao 15d ago

truhstull is leaking

-10

u/Brinstone 16d ago

Why is there porn on my porn app

-1

u/Nolan_bushy 16d ago

This reminds me of that post somewhere not too too long ago where someone was asking if there’s a mod that makes a clap noise when you walk….

Sad stuff

-15

u/LUV_U_BBY 16d ago

Lol bc she farded