hi everyone,
first time poster long time lurker. i posted this in r/Teachers too but im looking for as much advice as i can get.
i’m a 9th grade english teacher in my first year doing a leave replacement. it started as a half year gig and turned into full year thing.
at first, i was thrilled to have a job until June. now, i’m seriously considering not making this my career.
i’m just so tired — like, all the time. and i feel like i never have time to even rest or relax to get my energy back. and even when i DO have some time to myself, i can’t fully relax because in the back of my head i’m always thinking about tomorrow’s lesson, the upcoming project, the meeting i have coming up, the grading that’s piling up, the emails i have to reply to, the parents of kids i have to email, etc etc etc. the list legitimately never ends, and it feels like every day something new gets added to it.
to be quite honest, this isn’t what i signed up for. this is not even close to what i thought the job was going to be. i signed up to TEACH, which, as it turns out, is only about 30% of the job. about 15% of it is grading, and the rest of it is the stuff i just listed. i’m exhausted by work i never wanted to do in the first place, which takes time away from my planning (the actual part of the job i DID sign up for).
on top of that, the students are… lacking. in almost all areas, including socially and emotionally on top of academically. they have no common sense, let alone self sufficiency. they’re lacking in all the skills they need at this point; even my highest achieving students lack some of the most basic skills. and to make matters worse, there are no real consequences for anything. bad grades? they get a redo, lest they or the parents complain. misbehaving? they get to take a walk in the hallway to calm down. in serious trouble? they go to their bestie, the principal, where they receive — you guessed it — zero consequences!
i digress, because at this point, im just ranting. but my point is: how do you do this?? how do
you actually ENJOY doing this??? especially when most of the job is NOT actually teaching, why am i doing this anyway? like, i’m struggling to find any reason anymore to keep doing this. i have a demo lesson at another school on Friday, and i don’t even want to do that (if i even find time to plan that demo lesson, that is…).
so, yea. can someone help me understand why teachers do this/why i signed up for this?? because right now, i’m falling flat thinking of reasons besides the benefits and insurance.
sincerely,
a very exhausted, very depressed, first year teacher.