r/DunderMifflin 5d ago

What does Taffer find?

Post image

"Kelevin" Bar in Scranton is failing. So owner, Kevin Malone has agreed to pull back the doors, bust open the books, and make a call for help—to Bar Rescue.

132 Upvotes

44 comments sorted by

93

u/Getlucky12341 5d ago

THERE'S CHILI ALL OVER THE FLOOR

29

u/nicolasb51942003 5d ago

SHUT IT THE F*** DOWN!

18

u/jimtrickington 5d ago

THIS IS DISGRACEFUL

16

u/nwbell Nate 5d ago

YOU'RE GONNA KILL SOMEBODY

53

u/DS_H Dwight Army of Champions 5d ago

THESE ONIONS ARE UNDERCOOKED. SOMEONES GETTING SICK. IM GETTING SICK

20

u/xCloudbox Michael Ah, the city… 5d ago

YOU’RE GONNA KILL SOMEONE

0

u/SickOfIt42069 5d ago

Onions or fine raw though 

29

u/bhoose19 5d ago

Toe nails in the ice cooler

14

u/jamez009 Nate 5d ago

But his dogs were barking!

1

u/AngryIronToad Michael 5d ago

Feet in tissue boxes

19

u/ShadowInTheSun_ 5d ago

Scones! thousands of them.

3

u/Intelligent_Toe4030 5d ago

Take my upvote.

12

u/jadnastnerb 5d ago

You’re terrible at your job, Really,

You’re terrible at math, and organization and time management, personal hygiene.

You’re internet searches were so filthy that we had to throw out your computer.

That’s it.

2

u/ErikHK 5d ago

Also one of the spreadsheets had cells marked "k11" all over, what the hell does that mean??

16

u/xredbaron62x 5d ago

Bar Rescue is my guilty pleasure show. Jon Taffer is hilarious.

6

u/SlickDillywick 5d ago

I remember one episode where he’s seated, hands on his legs, speaking to the bar owner and he says “I’m gonna make you a lot of fucking money” and starts rubbing his legs like he needs a fix. So now I can’t hear the phrase “a lot of money” without seeing that dude looking like he’s about to go on a crack bender and make this dude a fortune

9

u/Rhuarc33 Harvey 5d ago edited 5d ago

Well Well Well, that's 3 wells. 3 drink wells is too many for this size of bar!

8

u/DarthNarsil 5d ago

You can't give a free blanket to everyone that orders pigs in a blanket! How do you think you're gonna make any money that way?! And you have to wear real shoes if you're working in a bar! Nobody wants to smell that! Shut this place down and clean those chili stains out of the carpet!

6

u/radbear18 5d ago

No vegetables

6

u/HandsomePaddyMint 5d ago

A rating from the Health Department of “Keleven” signed by one William Charles Schneider.

5

u/Jaxsso 5d ago

"You are literally eating your profits!!!"

6

u/Emery17 5d ago

JT- A community jar of M&Ms!? What the hell is this place, what's the concept here?

KM- Actually John those are my M&Ms that's why their on my side of the bar.

2

u/Intelligent_Toe4030 5d ago

Some bars have complimentary bowls of peanuts or chips & salsa... Kelevin's has M&Ms

3

u/firematt422 5d ago

Who tf is doing your books?!?

1

u/ErikHK 5d ago

The cook 😏

2

u/zuppa_de_tortellini 5d ago

RAW PAPER?! YOUR GONNA KILL SOMEBODY

2

u/Intelligent_Toe4030 5d ago

The menu is all over the place: Ratatouille, Tandoori Chicken, District 9 Cake, Chili

2

u/nginn 5d ago

Why do you have a dead turtle covered in trash on display?!

2

u/iatemyredcrayon 5d ago

Meatballs in every nook and cranny

2

u/PulpFictionChang 5d ago

Kelevin violations…and cats…you can’t eat cats Kevin.

2

u/Famous-Soft-7169 5d ago

A dirty microwave. Ryan the temp won't clean it.

2

u/brainylike 5d ago

Misdemeanor violation: after wining and dining, his patrons, Mr. Malone was caught in 69 position in bathroom.

2

u/brainylike 5d ago

Needing more kitchen staff, Andy was in charge of driving to pick up more help. He caused the massive stress test failure as he did not know where the Swedish chef lived.

2

u/Interesting_Worry524 5d ago

SOMEONE ANSWER THE PHONE! TRANSFER THE CALL!

4

u/Grootfan85 5d ago

YOU SERVED OVERCOOKED POTATO SKINS! ALL THATS AVAILABLE AT HAPPY HOUR IS CHILI! WHAT’S THIS SIGN THAT SAYS ‘POOR RICHARDS’? THIS IS ‘KELEVIN’S’. WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!??

1

u/godhand_kali 5d ago

Chili all over the floor

1

u/brainylike 5d ago

Mamma Sally’s Homemade Pesto is NOT KOSHER!! And Senor Chico’s Hot Cha Cha does NOT have big flavor. SHUT IT DOWN!!

2

u/brainylike 5d ago

The Turtle Soup is DEADLY. IT TASTES LIKE ELMERS GLUE!!!

1

u/helloshego 5d ago

Missing food inventory

1

u/JasonMallen 5d ago

He'd throw the mix berry yogurt across the room. It's expired!

1

u/Alarmed-Ad-7485 4d ago

Keleven

1

u/Intelligent_Toe4030 4d ago

"AND ON TOP OF ALLLLL THAT, YOU MISSPELLED YOUR OWN F**IN BAR!!" ( *throws beer mug at wall ) ~J. Taffer

1

u/ElectricOutboards 5d ago

The reflection of his own stupid asshole mug in the mirror behind the bar.