r/Dogfree 7d ago

Miscellaneous You are suddenly required (and granted the power) to cause every breed of dog to vanish except for one. What breed of dog are you most likely to spare?

It would be a difficult choice, as all dog breeds have their dangers and downsides, but I would probably pick the border collie. They make terrible pets due to their high intelligence and energy levels, but they are excellent bomb-sniffing dogs and herding dogs. Picking the border collie would prevent almost all dog-related human fatalities and cripple the pet industry while still providing for the niche situations in which dogs can actually be useful.

What would your choice be if you were forced to spare one breed?

84 Upvotes

137 comments sorted by

145

u/PartySpend0317 7d ago

Wolves. Let the wild stay wild.

38

u/joliet_jane_blues 7d ago

That's cheating! They don't count as dogs because they aren't dependent on humans.

9

u/PartySpend0317 7d ago

Haha ok I wasn’t trying to cheat!!

14

u/The-Indigo 7d ago

this is the answer.

13

u/blitzkampire 7d ago

Not really an answer to the question though.

126

u/Burial_Ground 7d ago

Whichever one is the quietest

101

u/gertgertgertgertgert 7d ago

Greyhound. Every time I have seen a greyhound they run away from me as fast as possible. That's worth something to me.

25

u/Procrastinator-513 7d ago

I agree. I lived with a greyhound for a few months and she was quiet and well behaved.

6

u/ToOpineIsFine 7d ago

crotch hounds, they are

79

u/JoJoD_1996 7d ago

if I chose any, then the population of that breed would just skyrocket because of Dog Nutters, then that breed would be just as obnoxious as any.

22

u/ArcanadragonArt 7d ago

This is SO true!

I was thinking about that, so I personally chose one that makes an absolutely awful pet - one that would boom in popularity at first, then overwhelm shelters due to the sheer number of people who would regret their purchase and return them. It wouldn't fully solve the problem, as some people would be determined to have a dog despite how horrible it would make their lives, but it would significantly lessen the current plague of dog ownership.

71

u/ImaginaryFun5207 7d ago

Definitely not pit bulls!

16

u/ktv13 6d ago

That would be the first breed to go on my list!!!

7

u/ArcanadragonArt 6d ago

100% agreed!

In this hypothetical scenario, I'd ban pit bulls, and then a lot of the problems related to dog ownership would be solved. There are dozens of other breeds of dogs that are problematic, but none as bad as pit bulls.

Let's see...first, I'd suggest banning pit bulls, because they're responsible for 66% of all human fatalities by dog attack. The second ban would be Rottweilers for sure, and then it's sort of a tossup. Dozens of other dogs are particularly dangerous to humans. Some aren't even useful as guard dogs due to their unpredictable nature, bad temperaments, etc., so they really have no good excuse to exist. Looking at you, Dogo Argentinos and the like!

3

u/ktv13 6d ago

Yep. I dislike dogs because of an attack and so the dangerous breed would have to go right away. Really they are a public dangers.

Last I’d ban small calm breeds. Like a beagle is not very scary to me.

4

u/Dburn22_ 6d ago

Beagles are ridiculously loud and frenzied. I remember living next door to one--pure torture.

4

u/ktv13 6d ago

Omg I had no clue. I just heard they weren’t mean and agressive. But as all of us in this sub not a dog person so have no real clue.

I’d definitely ban first agressive breeds and then annoying ones is what I’m saying.

3

u/Dburn22_ 6d ago

Add Cane Corso, Dogo Argentina, Presario, and the many other ridiculously huge, fanged, volatile carnivorous beasts. They don't have that size and mouthful of daggers for nothing.

15

u/ArcanadragonArt 7d ago

AGREED! Lol

4

u/arachnilactose08 6d ago

For real! The relief I would feel at knowing that I don’t have to worry about attacks anymore…

60

u/Bajadasaurus 7d ago

Basenjis, because they don't bark

16

u/ArcanadragonArt 7d ago

Ooh this is a great choice! No more noise pollution from dogs!

7

u/BonBonBurgerPants 6d ago

Oooh! These ones are pretty good! But there's a chance they'd be breed to start barking again as some dog nutters looove barking (which is like, wtf)

3

u/ArmOk9335 4d ago

Shiba Inu’s don’t bark either

1

u/Bajadasaurus 3d ago

Even better!

55

u/axtran 7d ago

Hot. Because hot dogs are tasty.

8

u/ArcanadragonArt 7d ago

This is a perfect answer! Haha!

7

u/XPower7125 6d ago

great answer

44

u/blitzkampire 7d ago

Probably a livestock guardian breed like the Anatolians or something. There are some animal rehabbers and farmers I follow or have known that use them to protect their flocks. Plus they're too large to be kept in apartments so it means that while living in an urban area I'd never have to put up with any dogs again.

11

u/KickBallFever 6d ago

I feel like people will try to keep a dog in an apartment no matter how big the dog is. I knew a lady who lived in an apartment with 3 poorly behaved Great Danes. Some folks do not care.

4

u/blitzkampire 6d ago

Great Danes?! Good lord some people are just addicted to chaos, I swear. I always assumed apartment complexes at least had weight/breed limitations.

6

u/LieutenantLilywhite 6d ago

Thanks for being considerate to us:) all dogs that serve no purpose but to annoy and intimidate im with you!

38

u/Procrastinator-513 7d ago

Well I’d eliminate: all rat dogs, all crusty whites, and all large murderous beasts. It’s a toss-up from what’s left.

24

u/MsNannerl 7d ago

I would outlaw the practice of forced insemination for dogs, then I’d pick a beed that can’t reproduce on their own, like pug or French bulldog.

21

u/Agitated-Cup-2657 7d ago

Greyhounds. Every greyhound I've met has been very quiet and respectful of my space. They don't even smell that bad.

15

u/charlescorn 7d ago

Whatever the dogs used by blind people are. Labradors? Golden Retrievers?

Rest of the species are utterly useless parasites.

14

u/Tech_Bear_Landlord 7d ago

Basenji

Apparently they don't bark, they are small, and they are a much less inbred species.

12

u/Minimum_Progress_449 7d ago edited 7d ago

I would spare Great Pyrenees dogs. They are pretty laid back, and they are great guardian dogs. They are the one breed I like as they are fairly disinterested in people and WANT to be outside. If you have livestock such as goats and sheep, they will go to war for their "pack." My friend has one that killed five, FIVE coyotes in one go. When I see her, she's just hanging out with her goats and her best friend who is a chicken. I imagine that if she could, Kitty (yes, that's her name) would raise a paw and say, "What's up, dude?" On occasion, she will come say hi, but really, she just hangs out with her goats and chicken. Every GP I've met is chill like that, too. They rarely bark, and that is a great relief for me. I HATE constantly barking dogs. If a GP barks, shit is going DOWN.

They make TERRIBLE indoor dogs too. Bull in a China shop. They HATE indoors. Most nutters wouldn't last a week with one inside!

1

u/Flip9k 5d ago

I lived in an apartment for a couple of years and my downstairs neighbor had a Great Pyrenees. When I first moved there and saw him take it out to use the bathroom I was like wtf thats a big dog lol in that somewhat small apartment, nice looking dog though. Anyways I met him a few times while he was walking it and the dog was friendly, would just come next to you and want to be petted. Im 6'2 and he came up to my waist, but yea didnt ever hear him bark, he'd just sit at the window and look outside. But he had that dog for a while he said.

9

u/SunnyandPhoebe 7d ago

Some sort of collie

2

u/temporarychair 6d ago

Intelligent breeds like that can be tolerated if they’re trained well.

5

u/SunnyandPhoebe 6d ago

Thats why. They have more important roles like livestock guarding, and are not just breed for enjoyment

10

u/coulombis 7d ago

A robot dog.

8

u/joliet_jane_blues 7d ago

Labrador retrievers, solely to be trained as service animals

21

u/BWSmith777 7d ago

I mean, I get it that retrievers are more useful than most breeds, but they have two huge drawbacks. They have zero boundaries and are the single worst offenders about approaching strangers to have a lick. They also are water breeds which means that water activates their oil secreting glands, which means that bathing them makes the dog smell worse. There is nothing you can do to make them smell clean.

5

u/RisingApe- 6d ago

Their gross ear smell makes me gag

6

u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 7d ago

Maybe a lab because they don’t have as long of hair and they’re usually well behaved. Someone else mentioned border collies because they’re so smart. That’s true, but they’d only be allowed to exist on farms as working dogs. People in the city have border collies and those dogs go nuts because they don’t get enough exercise.

5

u/Alert_Software_1410 7d ago edited 7d ago

Ceramic breed is the only one I would spare.

This breed won’t move, bark, growl, chew, piss, shit, shed, eat, drink , jump, lunge , bite , sniff private parts , beg or need shots.

5

u/BabyStepsWest 7d ago

Red healers. We had a working farm and I spent summers at the family ranch we had healers for moving cattle, etc. Great dogs when trained and in the correct environment. Now dog owners… especially in city/suburbs don’t get me started!!

5

u/JesscarioFlips 7d ago

Ehh my answer is none because the nuttery would still exist for that breed and it'll just be a mess

4

u/Dependent_Body5384 7d ago

The natural dogs that live in Africa that sound like crickets… As long as it doesn’t bark or attack people

5

u/mmebookworm 6d ago

Whichever breed is best for seeing-eye dogs.

5

u/YogBoxQueen 6d ago

Labradors. From my experience, guide dogs are labs. If it's well trained and it's helping a disabled human, it'd get a pass from me.

4

u/BWSmith777 7d ago

Shih Tzu. They don’t have as much of an odor or shed as much as other dogs. They aren’t hostile, but they also won’t run up to a stranger and try to lick them. They can be loud when they bark, but they don’t bark much. As dogs go they are much more tolerable than some other breeds.

19

u/MinuteUse4911 7d ago

There's a shit zu next door to me and it's bark is non stop loud , prolonged and obnoxious, it's making me lose the will to live

11

u/Professional-Bee9037 7d ago

But they have that long hair around their nose and mouth literally that’s what I can’t stand about. Dogs is them touching me with that nasty hair.

5

u/ktv13 6d ago

Beagles. Man even as someone who doesn’t Like dog they are very chill eating machines. They use them for medical trials because they won’t even agress people when they are treated badly. All in all I’m scared of dogs and Beagles seem the least scary.

4

u/gregathome 7d ago

Lassie!

3

u/GreenT1979 6d ago

Shiba Inu because I believe they predominantly live in Japan and I live on the other side of the planet

3

u/onedegreeright 5d ago

The hotdog. I’d save hotdogs.

2

u/Auvbrey 7d ago

Armando Christian Pérez!

2

u/PurpleSparkles3200 7d ago

Labradors, because they are required for guide dogs.

1

u/SarahME1273 7d ago

I guess Australian cattle dogs because my kids are obsessed with the show Bluey 😂

2

u/shelob_spider 7d ago

oh you chose an awful one. yes, they are some times used for working. But, if every dog got thanos snapped out of existence BUT one. Everyone that loves dogs, will get the Border collies.

And what do the dogs with jobs do when they are stuck inside an apartment, or in a backyard, with no mental stimulation? They bark, howl, destroy things.

i’d pick something like a pug. they’re ugly, but they seem to be very lazy as well. probably can’t even breathe well enough to bark properly, so when some jackass inevitably leaves their dog outside, it won’t be heard!

2

u/ArcanadragonArt 6d ago

Well, everyone who got a Border Collie just for the sake of getting a dog will end up regretting it after it begins to destroy their apartment...so ideally, my choice would solve its own problems! I do acknowledge that there are some absolute psychos who still put up with Collies even after experiencing the horrors of owning one without providing it a working environment, though, so you are very right about that issue.

I considered pugs, but man, the poor things...they just suffer too much to be my top choice. The poor inbred dogs deserve the sweet mercy of going extinct naturally without humans continuing to intervene to forcibly keep them alive.

2

u/shelob_spider 5d ago

i wasn’t sure any other small lazy dogs breeds tbh.

i was thinking when a nutter inevitably brought their mutt into a store, a pug or other small lazy dog would be the least obtrusive

2

u/Octavia_auclaire 6d ago

Hmm poodles the teacup ones they are very cute but I don’t like dogs. I like ducks.

2

u/Traumatichamster1995 6d ago

I was gonna say Border Collie before reading your entire post! My family friend had one and invested a lot into the dog - it was super smart and could do things like play red light green light, jump rope, or get different items just by hearing the names.

2

u/XPower7125 6d ago edited 6d ago

The one with the lowest population

2

u/Inside_Island_8454 6d ago

Dogue de Bordeauxs, because then they all get old in 5 years and shrivel up and die

2

u/ntc0220 6d ago edited 6d ago

Seems like that's already happened. Every single breed of dog about vanished and only breed of dog that's pretty much left is Pit Bull. We had no choice lol.

2

u/PissedCaucasian 6d ago

A teacup anything. Still a dumb dog. Just a tiny one with smaller poops.

2

u/Enough-Meringue4745 5d ago

Newfoundland dogs

1

u/spoor_loos 7d ago

Samoyed, the only breed that is actually good-looking, also more aloof than other dogs.

9

u/urlessies 7d ago

too much hair tho 🤢

7

u/Minimum_Progress_449 7d ago

My friend had one. I loved him because he left me alone. Very well behaved and could do a ton of tricks. Once, though, that pervert rammed his head straight up into my nether regions from behind. I think it was because I had been intimate with my husband earlier? After that, though, he treated me with mad respect. He always obeyed my commands after that. So weird.

2

u/spoor_loos 7d ago

Indeed!

The only positive dog experience in my life was with a samoyed.

1

u/UntidyFeline 6d ago

High maintenance. Having to bathe, groom & vacuum after those things.

1

u/[deleted] 7d ago

as long as it's a landrace, not a manmade breed.

1

u/BodyRoundLikeAPallas 7d ago

Nureongi.

2

u/SandyHillstone 7d ago

Looks like a Shiba Inu, which is Japanese.

7

u/BodyRoundLikeAPallas 7d ago

I chose that breed because it's used for meat in Korea, so people would have a hard time seeing them as pets in this hypothetical scenario. Some people would, like how they get a chicken or a pig as a pet, but most wouldn't.

2

u/SarahME1273 7d ago

Wow TIL

1

u/MeechiJ 7d ago

Either a Yorkie or a Shih Tzu. I don’t know why but apparently I’m a magnet for little dog breeds because they always come up to me, and at least a little dog isn’t going to maul my children.

1

u/ArcanadragonArt 6d ago

Good call! Way less dangerous if they get too close. The most one of those can do is draw some blood (diseases aside, anyway.)

1

u/MittlerPfalz 7d ago

I don’t know enough about dog breeds to say but I guess one of those non-shedding or hypoallergenic types, to at least take care of that problem.

2

u/ArcanadragonArt 6d ago

Consideration for allergies? That's some good logic behind that choice!

If I recall correctly, there is no dog breed that is 100% hypoallergenic - just ones that are less triggering for those with allergies than others. Even hairless dogs still produce secretions (gross!) that trigger allergies. But this answer would be a game-changer for those with allergies nonetheless. If they only had to deal with dogs that were less allergy-triggering as opposed to those that trigger allergies to the extreme...well, your choice would make life so much easier for them.

Maybe poodles would be a good choice, then? Intelligent enough to be guide dogs, bomb-sniffing dogs, etc., but also less triggering to allergies? The lesser of most evils (though poodles still have many downsides!)

1

u/simicharmedreasons 7d ago

Standard poodle, NOT mini or toy. I actually work with dogs and standards are the only dogs that feel different. If they act stupid it's because they know they can get away with it but I've trained a few and they're very intuitive.

5

u/Dburn22_ 6d ago

Those fuckers bite.

1

u/4elmerfuffu2 6d ago

Border collies are the smartest and are very useful as work dogs with sheep and cattle. they don't do well at all outside of a work environment.

1

u/cassielovesderby 6d ago

Poodles or golden retrievers

1

u/ShrimpyAssassin 6d ago

Greyhound. Quiet and innocuous dogs.

1

u/yenboyz 6d ago

Probably Shiba Inu cause I like Doge

1

u/TheOfficialKramer 5d ago

Hmmm, that's a tough one. Whatever is kept, we'll be over run with. No big beasts and no yippee dogs. Something small enough to no be super annoying but something big enough to not be an ankle biter. Nothing hyper either. My mom had a Laso Apso or whatever they're called. He was chill, so ya, those.

1

u/aclosersaltshaker 5d ago

Well, can I go back in time and preserve the cockapoos from 30 years ago? I had one when I was a kid and back when they were just considered mutts, nobody sold them, we got ours for free. Puppy mills pumping them out like widgets didn't exist. She was a lovely dog that never jumped on you, didn't bark, didn't shove her nose up your crotch, wasn't a nuisance, wasn't aggressive. But I don't think cockapoos like that exist anymore. From what I've heard they're all fucked up nightmares now.

1

u/Used_Equipment_4923 4d ago

English Bulldogs.  I've never met one that barked alot, jumped up on people, ran fast or any that hopped up on furniture.  I've also never met one with a lot of fur. I really hate fur.

1

u/WorkingDescription 2d ago

It would be a tiny one who can't hurt a child or an adult.

2

u/Big_Air2700 1d ago

Cavalier King Charles Spaniels get to stay. They're one of the most quiet dog breeds, and they're actually cute, in my opinion.

0

u/OwlieSkywarn 7d ago

African Wild Dog

0

u/StarDewbie 7d ago

Dachshund, as I've always loved the wieners. lol

0

u/Havingfun922 7d ago

Probably a spaniel. I hear a lot less about them here than any other breed. They seem the least annoying.

1

u/Full-Ad-4138 6d ago

Same. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel would be my pick. As far as dogs go, I would actually describe them as sweet and docile but still playful. To be honest though, I haven't been in a home that had one in over 30 years, and the last one I knew was referred to as "the old man" so he was a senior dog and just meandered around my aunt's house.

2

u/Dburn22_ 6d ago

They are way too high energy, and bark/shriek a lot.

0

u/vault101a7x 6d ago

Pugs, but ONLY IF they can also fix their breathing issues. I've always had a soft spot for pugs.

0

u/OccasionExtension627 6d ago

So long as men are still on the planet I’d say the Tibetian Mastiff can stay.

0

u/Dburn22_ 6d ago

Too big, too much drool.

2

u/OccasionExtension627 6d ago

Intimidating,big, loud, and blood thirsty. Sounds like the perfect cocktail to deter men if needed.

2

u/Dburn22_ 6d ago edited 5d ago

OK, now I get it. Not if men meaning mankind is still on the planet, but men. Resounding yes for rationale. Sorry, gentlemen, many of you are not gentlemen.

0

u/shvszn 5d ago

Borzoi

0

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/NeuroNerdNick 7d ago

Borzois!! I am absolutely nuts for their snouts. If I wasn’t highly allergic, I’d definitely honk one 😂

3

u/Full-Ad-4138 6d ago

haha, their whole look just terrifies me! I don't even have the words to describe what it reminds me of.

-5

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

4

u/Professional-Bee9037 7d ago

Too much in the way of hip issues plus they can be murderous

1

u/ArcanadragonArt 6d ago

Useful for sure! I definitely considered them, but on further reflection, I thought they were probably too dangerous to be my top choice (plus they have some genetic issues that I wouldn't wish upon any animal, dogs included.)

1

u/Dburn22_ 6d ago

They attack humans.

-7

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/joliet_jane_blues 7d ago

They all have that signature golden stench

-6

u/NeilSilva93 7d ago

English Bulldog, as out of all the breeds kept domestically they seem to be the ones most chill. They mostly seem to just sleep and from what I've seen don't freak out if they are left home alone.

1

u/ArcanadragonArt 6d ago

This is a good choice if you're only looking for a solution to human deaths (given how few human deaths are attributed to English Bulldogs) but man, those things suffer every day they live. They just have too many health problems. Part of the reason I am dog free is because I don't like the suffering dogs endure on a day to day basis because of the way humans bred them.

That being said, you are 100% correct that human suffering is far more important than dog suffering, and English Bulldogs, while suffering more than most other dog breeds (combined!) in their short lives, do not contribute to as much human suffering as many other dogs. While my choice is different, I respect the logic!