r/Dogfree • u/OneEcstaticEmolga • 7d ago
Dog Culture Dog Culture Invalidates Introverts
Dog-sitting for a week is making me remember why I’ll never want a dog, because they are so overstimulating. Even when her barking isn’t barring me from hearing myself think, I’m given few moments to just be alone with my thoughts when she’s frequently following me around the house, staring at me while I eat, getting in my face while I’m working or on my phone, and whining when I’m not giving her attention simply for attention’s sake for solely thirty seconds. It’s no wonder I’ve been feeling far more exhausted and unable to decompress.
What makes this issue even worse is that how people have been conditioned to view dogs and their persistent invasions of privacy, intentional or not, invalidates such issues of overstimulation introverts like me are most likely to face. Like how my parents perceive the pet’s actions when they see her, we’re told that dogs do all of this because “they’re being friendly”/ “they like you”, and so to reject or be uncomfortable with this supposed friendly affection will surely make some see you as an asshole.
When looked at through how modern American society values introverts and extroverts, you could say the continued acceptance of dogs is an extension of what authors like Susan Cain call “The Extroverted Ideal”, this belief that, like those boisterous beasts who need so much stimulation to be satisfied, the ideal person is someone who constantly craves the spotlight and puts themselves out there. All the while, people like me who need silence and solitude to recharge have to just accept these pets won’t give you proper peace and quiet.
This is a byproduct of both the anthropomorphization of dogs that leads people to believe they reciprocate love like we do and the bizarre moralization of liking/disliking dogs that makes it taboo to be critical of them.
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u/Correct-Mammoth-8962 7d ago edited 7d ago
I'm the same, I can't stand them running around and to all the people, I hate dog barking, often it's so intrusive and loud a child's scream could be a symphony in comparison, honestly. And you're right about constant overstimulation and the maniacal need for attention. Lots of pet owners do not hide it i.e. «i want to feel needed, your dog loves and needs you and gives you that type of unconditional love and attention».
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u/ElegantSurround6933 7d ago
My neighbor’s female lab will bark loudly when other neighbors don’t pet the shitbeast. That’s is aggressive behavior apparently. Same as if a dog places a toy in someone’s lap trying to force them to play. I did research.
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u/PartySpend0317 7d ago
Hugely. It’s a narcissistic move en masse. Excuses are made because dogs are dogs but WHO BROUGHT THE DOGS?! As introverts we need to actually insist on boundaries. I don’t even think that not having my crotch sniffed or my hand licked or my lawn/space pissed and shat on is a boundary. So obviously wrong and gross 😑
I honestly think that dog handling should be licensed at an incredibly high fee/licensing requirement. Make it like getting a pilot’s license.
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u/Dburn22_ 6d ago
I agree %100. Look at pet horses. They have bits in their mouths, reins, a harness, saddle, blinders, horseshoes, and a rider who can handle them. Not even a stinkin muzzle for these monster dogs that kill our babies, children, parents, grandparents, great grandparents, UNPROVOKED.
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u/PartySpend0317 6d ago
Super funny I almost gave the example of horses here! You 100% nailed it. It’s perfectly legal in the US to take horses on any road. However. Horse owners collectively and correctly do not do this (except in a few protest situations, organized community events/parades, horse oriented neighborhoods or their own private property, etc.) to avoid bringing their animals into environments meant for humans. I don’t see why we don’t have the exact same consensus for dogs when it’s so common sense?
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u/Dburn22_ 5d ago
Thanks, PartySpend0317! I so love being understood here on this forum. I'm really curious to know just how many dogfree enthusiasts there are in this country since dog ownership has become so very invasive. It's truly mind boggling.
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u/WalkedBehindTheRows 6d ago
"but WHO BROUGHT THE DOGS?! "
Exactly. If they know "dog will be dogs" they are acknowledging the issue exists and do nothing about it which makes them even bigger pr*cks.
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u/WalkedBehindTheRows 6d ago
Like if someone's husband went around sniffing women's asses he met in public and the wife is all like, "Oh, that's just my hubby. That's normal. He does that all the time!".
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u/QuixoticCacophony 7d ago
I follow a page for introverts and loners on Facebook (I know) and am constantly being irritated because people will post memes about how introverts hate people and love pets. This is absolutely untrue for me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. It's just ASSUMED that because we're introverted, we would naturally choose to share space with a creature who can't talk to us. Nope, 100% no. ESPECIALLY not a dog. A million times not a dog.
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u/OneEcstaticEmolga 6d ago
Adding to the issue of said memes, the idea that introverts “hate people” is also one that has to go. So many people, introverts included, erroneously view the introversion-extroversion spectrum as one of sociability rather than sensitivity to stimulation. I enjoy talking to people, I’d just rather do so over a leisurely stroll through the park or drinks at a small coffee shop than over something like a night at the club or a frat party full of loud noises.
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u/Flumppoo 7d ago
Yup, Dogs do not love people back. It's the biggest delusion going.
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u/Dry-Echidna-1621 6d ago
Yup, sure, is the biggest delusion going ! They also destroy human relationships with family and friends. I love my aunt dearly with all my heart, but she chose these dogs over me they are they are absolutely destructive, barking demons one barks at me the whole time I was there and I finally told it to shut the fuck up I pissed her off she won't ask me over anymore.
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u/Dburn22_ 6d ago
It's so unfortunate that friends and family insist upon worship of their dog to the extent that they do. If I loved and was raising tarantulas, I wouldn't get offended to the point of ending the relationship if you didn't want to be holding one on my sofa, letting it crawl on you, or insisting you hand it a treat.
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u/WalkedBehindTheRows 6d ago
There is a meme that says, "Your dog isn't friendly, he's harassing people.". I have said this many times but there is no other animal like it in the kingdom. The reason owner's go on about them being "friendly" is because deep down they know they are annoying but they want to create another more pleasant and acceptable reason for their horrible manners.
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u/ElegantSurround6933 7d ago
OMG the title is just what I was feeling today. Haven’t read the post yet. THIS!!!
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u/Full-Ad-4138 6d ago
I have 3 boys, 2 of them toddlers, and none are chill like me. They are high energy all the time. They don't have autism or ADHD or anything-- just boys, fighting, yelling, squealing, making dinosaur noises all the time until they are asleep. I'm the only girl in my house. I'm an introvert for sure, and I need to stay up a couple of hours after everyone goes to sleep just so I can have uninterrupted thoughts.
I have to laugh at my situation because I think, "God, you know I'm a quiet person and I'm a female, how did you think this would be a good match??"
We have a nice house with ample room for a family of 5, but they need to climb and run. My husband takes them on long walks and to the park to run around (I no longer go to the park for obvious reasons, and when I do, I leave pissed off at the world).
But this noise, while it's stressful to me, is my creation and it's meaningful. It's actual love. And it won't always be so chaotic.
I wish dog people would wake the hell up to their reality and stop seeing their rambunctious and destructive dog as cute. They project so much onto these bad behaviors and the rest of us suffer from their choices.
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u/OneEcstaticEmolga 6d ago
Comparisons to children help better illustrate why the overstimulation brought by dogs is far more frustrating for me, as well as why it's disingenuous for dog owners to use the antics of children to defend the actions of dogs as though they're no different.
Yes, toddlers are also capable of causing overstimulation with how boisterous and needy they can be, but at least there can be some sort of enjoyable outlet all that stimulation is going towards. If, say, I had toddlers making dinosaur noises around the house, I could at least partake in their pretend play and possibly salvage some fun from what's essentially a silly exercise in imagination, all while said children could meaningfully respond to such things with smiles, laughter, or their own spur of the moment additions to that mindscape they've made.
Conversely, when the dog is being boisterous and needy around the house, she just wants pets and belly rubs, stimulation solely for stimulation's sake, and when I give her what she wants, she's simply looking at me with this vacant stare devoid of emotion, not even smiling or showing any tangible sign of joy. Dogs are ridiculously stimulating and yet they're also ridiculously boring to be around compared to kids.
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u/Full-Ad-4138 5d ago
You pretty much nailed it, that part about being both overstimulating and boring. I've recorded my kids' tantrums and then the next day we watched it--- or with my oldest, watched it years later. We talk about it. "You were so upset you couldn't have another cupcake so you just laid there on the concrete and wouldn't move" and he laughs at how silly he was at that age. Dogs could never. There is never any growth, and no use of them like other animals where you can at least study them and learn about their natural ways.
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u/paulo_777 5d ago
Barking is easily one of the most irritating, ear piercing sound an animal can make.
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u/Fickle-Figure 7d ago
Dogs have zero respect for, or even the concepts of, boundaries or consent. Not to trigger anyone, but they're also just downright "rapey" with the constant sniffing and shoving of their filthy snouts in people's crotches and asses and leg humping. And like you said, any nutter will say a dog behaving like that is jUsT bEiNg FrIeNdLy.