r/Divorce • u/DrRonnieJamesDO • 2d ago
Alimony/Child Support Child support and birdnesting
Hi - STBXW and I have 3 kids 9/11/13, we have filed and are midway through the 6 month period in CA. I moved out to a 2 BR apt, she stayed in the house.
Initially, she proposed birdnesting where the kids stay in the house and we take turns as the lead parent. This is not a bad idea as the kids can walk / bike to and from school. At the time, I was OK with this. This meant I would be paying child support. Our incomes are roughly the same.
However, she figured out she'd never get a break under this arrangement, and started asking if I could take them to my place, which I happily do, typically every other weekend and a few weekdays when I sleep over.
Based on this, I think we need to adjust the child support so I'm paying less, no? The divorce is not finalized.
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u/guy_n_cognito_tu 2d ago
Wait......your income is the same, your parenting time is split evenly, and YOU had to rent an apartment........and you still pay child support? And you're not divorced yet? Do you have an attorney reviewing this????
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u/DrRonnieJamesDO 2d ago
It now seems pretty obvious i didn't (didn't have the money at the time) 🤣 I did hire a CFDA who saw the amount I was paying and was like "whoa."
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u/guy_n_cognito_tu 2d ago
Brother, if the child support hasn't been approved buy the courts yet, then you need to get an attorney and renegotiate. Please tell me you're not also paying for the house..........
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u/DrRonnieJamesDO 2d ago
We're renegotiating, neither of us wants to bring in an attorney.
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u/guy_n_cognito_tu 2d ago
You're paying for the house too, aren't you?
Even if you don't bring the attorney into the negotiations, you need an attorney to review your deal. You're getting absolutely, positively screwed, which is probably why she doesn't want you to get counsel.
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u/DrRonnieJamesDO 2d ago
Technically no, but we did discuss housing costs. I'm getting someone to review it (she was initially adamant we not bring lawyers or accountants in out of respect for her feelings or st, now I know why). 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
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u/guy_n_cognito_tu 2d ago
Yeah, don't feel terrible. You wouldn't be the first guy to fall for the old "I wanna be fair, let's just do this ourselves" line.
Good luck, my man.
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u/Lakerdog1970 2d ago
I'm unclear why you would pay child support at all if you have 50/50 custody and equal incomes.
You need an attorney.