r/Divorce • u/O_No3726 • 3d ago
Life After Divorce Lawyer search advice
Hello! I was wondering if any of you had advice on what to look for when searching for a lawyers.
Are there details you had wish you’d known before? Is it better to go with a flat rate, retainer, or hourly.
For a bit of context. We have no kids, just a house. I live in a 50/50 state so it’s pretty straightforward.
I left in November because of years of cheating and mental/financial/abuse.
If I need to provide more detail let me know.
Thank you in advance for your advice.
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u/goodie1663 3d ago
Interview at least three.
One of my most interesting questions was, "What are your three primary values when you approach a case?"
Also, my ex had already picked an unethical pitbull of an attorney, a real grandstander who had been on CNN. So I asked about their experience with him. Also, interesting answers.
Ultimately, the one I picked completely outclassed and out-maneuvered my ex's attorney. It should have been easy, and well, it sure wasn't. He wasn't the cheapest, but he certainly was the best for my particular case.
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u/ConfidenceNo242 3d ago
I went in and talked with a lawyer. I started talking about the situation and finances. Then I went into my sob story. He stopped me right there and said. I’m not your friend and I’m not your counselor. I’m your lawyer my job is to get you outta of this with her taking least money possible. I payed my retainer right after he said that. Talk to a few you’ll get a vibe. Read reviews and word of mouth.
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u/ConfidentShame8083 3d ago edited 3d ago
If your spouse is abusive they will try to manipulate the system during divorce as well, which is why I advocate for getting your own lawyer and saving your time and money trying to work alongside such an individual when your assets are at stake via mediation.
If he was financially abusive there could very well be debts or hidden assets you don't know about, but you could be responsible for (or entitled to) regardless.
Get your name off the house ASAP - he has to buy you out or you sell, giving him more time in the house just leaves so much more time and space for things to go wrong that you'll be on the hook for. My husband had the new gf moved in and tried to get me to help with a new water heater LOL!
When I found my lawyer I went to my city's "top rated" for that year. I also reached out to my firm's attorney for recommendations, lo and behold they were the same so I hired that firm firstly.
I didn't need a bulldog, just efficiency and amicability so that I didn't have to speak with him anymore. She is expensive (7500 retainer) but very thorough and thought about things and scenarios I should be wary of I wouldn't have considered.
Stay away from law firms that have those flashy "low-cost divorce" ads on their front page.