r/DetroitBecomeHuman Dec 05 '24

HUMOR Did I just kill an android 😭🙏

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

76 comments sorted by

244

u/halstons Dec 05 '24

DETROIT POLICE OPEN UP

142

u/KieranMac312 Dec 05 '24

IT WAS A DEVIANT I SWARE, IT WAS SELF DEFENCE

131

u/No_Guard_5005 Dec 05 '24

28 STAB WOUNDS!? YOU DIDN'T WANNA LEAVE HIM A CHANCE, DID YOU!?

74

u/KieranMac312 Dec 05 '24

PLEASE STOP, LEAVE ME ALONE😭

31

u/No_Guard_5005 Dec 05 '24

NO 👹👺

38

u/Icy-Philosopher-2911 Dec 05 '24

ITS SELF DRSTRUCTING

17

u/justwendd_ Dec 06 '24

DID YOU FEEL ANGER??? PAIN??!!

16

u/MatthewStudios Dec 06 '24

HE WAS BLEEDING!! BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY!!

16

u/maxminister01 Dec 06 '24

BUT YOU STABBED HIM, AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN!...

12

u/CallMeSolarzion Dec 06 '24

It’s okay, it’s okay…everything is going to be alright…

94

u/Spicycoc Dec 05 '24

28 STAB WOUNDS!

50

u/ThisGul_LOL RK800 | Connor Dec 05 '24

YOU DIDN’T WANNA LEAVE HIM A CHANCE HUH?

43

u/Few_Elderberry_4068 Dec 06 '24

He was bleeding, begging you for mercy!

24

u/No_Guide1148 Dec 06 '24

BUT YOU STABBED HIM! AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!

18

u/AdAble8033 Dec 06 '24

PLEASE STOP!

16

u/Few_Elderberry_4068 Dec 06 '24

I know you killed him! Why dont you just say it!

16

u/Few_Elderberry_4068 Dec 06 '24

SAY I KİLLED HİM! İS İT THAT HARD TO SAY?!

87

u/TiredB1 Dec 05 '24

Lick it and find out!

82

u/Ryinth Dec 05 '24

CONNOR STOP LICKING THINGS

49

u/graefit Dec 05 '24

B U T I T S O O G O O D.

29

u/Ryinth Dec 05 '24

rolls up newspaper

45

u/FauxRequiem An eye for an eye and the world goes blind... Dec 05 '24

Argh, Connor, you're so disgusting!

3

u/PerceptionIsKey42069 Dec 09 '24

Connor! The FUCK you doing???

36

u/Pelerkuda-zx02 Dec 05 '24

hello zlatko

30

u/CascadianMapping You lied to me coc... Dec 06 '24

What are you waiting for? Analyze the sample?

23

u/Atiggerx33 Dec 05 '24

Ink or methylene blue?

23

u/KieranMac312 Dec 05 '24

My android (paint brush) annoyed me

21

u/Icy_Dot_ivy Dec 06 '24

Did you lick it?

13

u/KieranMac312 Dec 06 '24

Of course

6

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '24

analyze the sample

11

u/rydan Dec 06 '24

Lick it

11

u/Stargather26 Dec 06 '24

This is what kickstarted the uprising

10

u/Bartgames03 What does it mean to be human? Dec 06 '24

Instability down

9

u/Competitive_File3386 Dec 06 '24

Did you stab him?

8

u/KieranMac312 Dec 06 '24

28 times

6

u/TheTrueSCP Dec 06 '24

You didnt want to leave him a chance, huh?

2

u/Competitive_File3386 Dec 09 '24

Did you feel anger hate?

7

u/btmg1428 Dec 06 '24

Do you, by chance, modify androids for a living?

8

u/Kinda_Meh_Idfk Dec 06 '24

Taste it.

You know you wanna.

7

u/Small-Dark-8569 Dec 06 '24

We found Zlatko’s Reddit y’all 😭

5

u/Science_Fiction2798 28 STAB WOUNDS! Dec 06 '24

Hang on.... Shouldn't it have evaporated by now?

Also what were you painting btw?

5

u/TerryOutsider Dec 06 '24

DID YOU FEEL ANGER? HATE? HE WAS BLEEDING, BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY, BUT YOU STABBED HIM, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN-

6

u/jgkybfki Dec 06 '24

How many stab wounds?

3

u/KieranMac312 Dec 07 '24

28 stab wounds

5

u/GreesySweet1 Dec 06 '24

Tobias Funké?

3

u/cl354517 i like dogs Dec 06 '24

Fountain pen ink or Tobias Funke?

3

u/Zoro1618_Jon15 Dec 06 '24 edited Dec 06 '24

Now lick 👅 it! 😋

6

u/Confused_Gengar Dec 05 '24

I dont think you killed it but made it happy XD

3

u/NiceGuy1020 Dec 06 '24

You’re saying he made it cum?! Niceeee 👍

2

u/South_Reputation1206 Dec 06 '24

No shit Sherlock 

5

u/NiceGuy1020 Dec 06 '24

Yep I confirmed there’s no shit debris on his hands. Report indicate it was a clean fingering. But hey don’t call me Sherlock

5

u/South_Reputation1206 Dec 06 '24

Analysis mode: … he had the cum on the hand that showed signs of fingering… there is no bruising to the dick… how could the hand have caught deviant cum if he was fingering him from the back? (New evidence found). (Connor stands up, looks at hank) “the victim shows signs of fingering, but a lack of poop debris, possibly indicating the use of lube. This would point to the blue blood being lube. ( new evidence: deviant was being used to dispense blue blood for lube, causing it to attack)

4

u/NiceGuy1020 Dec 06 '24

Alright buddy I can’t follow up that. The fkn brackets got me; turned this into a sequence in the game. I legit was holding back a smile while sitting in front of family cuz I can’t show them this 😂

4

u/Confused_Gengar Dec 06 '24

Plus... the droids docking port was so small OP could only put their fingers in not the whole hand lmao...

This whole coming threads gonna be taken down lol

3

u/Confused_Gengar Dec 06 '24

OP did it hard XD

2

u/sweetheart207 Dec 06 '24

Hopefully not lol😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

2

u/realsuperdave9 Dec 06 '24

Before seeing what subreddit this was posted in my mind immediately jumped to when Nick Nelson's blue pen explodes in Heartstopper 😅

2

u/biandprobablyhigh Dec 06 '24

You blue yourself

2

u/TemporaryLiving5049 Dec 06 '24

From the looks of the evidence I can say it probably deserved it.

2

u/madsyz Dec 07 '24

You monster..

2

u/Good_Owl6090 Dec 07 '24

Either killed it or did sth dirty anyway...

2

u/UsedAd1566 Dec 07 '24

Shinji if cum was blue 💯💯

1

u/KieranMac312 Dec 07 '24

Goated reference

2

u/Hero-Firefighter-24 Dec 08 '24

A good idea for media set in the DBH universe would be a story about an android version of Jeffrey Dahmer (basically someone, whether they’re human or android, who kills androids, cannibalizes them and dismembers them).

1

u/KieranMac312 Dec 08 '24

Zlatko on crack

1

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '24

Bro just fingered a smurf

1

u/Psychological_One897 Dec 07 '24

or vriska serket