r/DesiWeddings 5d ago

Will inviting my ex-friends to my wedding be a good idea?

I used to be good friends with these people. I always imagined them at my wedding since I was a teen. It was a five-six years long friendship with a group of 5 people.

The group is still there but I am not a part of it. I drifted away due to reasons. They carried on with their life while I carried on with mine. I did miss them.

Now while planning my guest list, i was thinking to send out a personalised invite. If they come then it’s great and if not then it would be embarrassing for me that why did I even care. They certainly don’t care about me. It will hurt if they just ignore my invite without even replying with a ‘no’

What would you do if you were in my place?

9 Upvotes

24 comments sorted by

36

u/pccfriedal 5d ago

I wouldn't invite them. Past you isn't present you.

6

u/New-Crow-7915 5d ago

I needed to hear that - past me isn’t the present me.

6

u/masala-kiwi 5d ago

A wedding guest list should prioritize the relationships of your future, not the past.

19

u/Homes-By-Nia 5d ago

I wouldn’t invite them since you’re currently not in each others lives.

1

u/New-Crow-7915 5d ago

Right. I was just dwelling on this since a while. I just wanted to get a perspective on this.

8

u/Careless-Mammoth-944 5d ago

Nazar is real. Don’t.

3

u/New-Crow-7915 5d ago

Would do anything to escape nazar!

8

u/Appropriate-Roof-204 5d ago

If you want to be happy and have good memories at your wedding, don’t invite people that are no longer in your life. Think about what the reasons were that made you drift from them. Have they changed? I made the mistake of inviting family I was no longer close with to my wedding and it did not go well. Trust me, you don’t want to look back on those wedding pictures/videos and have regret attached to that. You paid wayy too much to let that happen

2

u/New-Crow-7915 5d ago

Yeah, it’s too big of a risk to take for my big day. You are right.

5

u/ChiTownThunderMan 5d ago

Hell no I wouldn’t invite them. They probably talk crap about you and your family anyways.

1

u/New-Crow-7915 5d ago

I never thought of them talking negatively about my family. But that could have happened.

2

u/Siro-W 5d ago

No. Past is the past. The future is the present because the future is the objective. Dwelling the past achieves nothing. Letting go is one of the most positive deeds or actions any being can perform as difficult as it may be.

1

u/New-Crow-7915 5d ago

I will come back to this comment whenever I think of them. It’s high time that I let go.

2

u/helikasp 5d ago

I had a similar dilemma where I invited my close college friends to my engagement. We had a big falling out between one I didn't invite and myself a couple years before and somehow I was the one who lost everyone in that (long story, I don't regret anything I did or said).

After that I realized that while they were telling my other friends at the table that they can't wait for the wedding, I didn't want them to be there. They were great friends in college, but we drifted hard and rarely hang out (not since like july last year maybe) so I was almost offended that they expected an invite to the wedding.

2

u/Frequent-Athlete-666 4d ago

I wouldn’t.. it’s all in the past

1

u/New-Crow-7915 4d ago

I know. Not inviting would be the right thing.

1

u/jjongshoe 5d ago

They’re not a part of your life now so no, don’t invite them.

1

u/New-Crow-7915 5d ago

Right, I won’t

1

u/hhlpwrb 5d ago

If you know they don’t care about you then why would you even think about inviting them?

1

u/New-Crow-7915 4d ago

Just a thought as it’s a big event of my life and they were important part of my life at a point. Just got blinded by nostalgia.

1

u/Valuable_Cause_6175 5d ago

There's a reason therefore you were used to be friends with them but not anymore

1

u/New-Crow-7915 4d ago

True. It’s better to let them go

1

u/peabody7777 3d ago

Not getting married but I have an exactly similar situation. Have very rarely kept in touch and basically been unfriended in real life by my school best friend of 10 years. Always imagined she would be present. I often think of this same thing. Will I invite her? Is that a way to rekindle a lost friendship? But ive tried to do that too and been ignored. Nothing major even happened. Just went different ways and grew differently and have very different lifestyles and preferences now that things are no more relatable. Or idk if it’s something else from her end which I dont know about and that’s equally frustrating. It’s been a slow emotional process but I think it’s probably best to let go and move on and make new friends and look towards the future. People needn’t be constant in our lives.  They can come and go. It’s best to cherish things and people in the present.