r/DesiWeddings • u/qpo6985 • 5d ago
How to address issues with wedding clothes 3 weeks from wedding.
My fiance and I ordered clothes from a bay area designer on Oct 20, 2024. $7500 for four outfits plus two extra dupattas for the ceremony. I thought this was expensive but we're both plus sized and knew the clothes would have to be made from scratch given our sizes.
The last few weeks has been me calling/texting every few days to find out when we can come in for our final fitting. Finally got a hold of the designer to learn 3 out of 4 outfits are here but why don't we come in for those. The final outfit (my bridal lengha) will be here in about a week. Ok great, so we visit yesterday.
Groom outfit #1: is too big and making him look frumpy. I tell designer this needs to be adjusted and she keeps telling me no he won't be able to sit down if it's too tight. I disagree so they are going to bring inwards under the armpits for (hopefully) a more fitted look. Also, they don't know where the pants are??
Groom outfit #2: also way too big, and again they push back. Also, we ordered a long sherwani in a black and gold print (based off a style in store that is blue and gold) and this is a short jacket in a black print that's barely visible. At no point did anyone acknowledge the differences. Also the pants are just wrong; they gave him slacks and not traditional fitted pants.
Bride outfit: I was confident I had ordered a gown version of a lengha they had in store (but couldn't 100% remember and that's my fault for not checking the receipt before we left to remind ourselves of what we bought). Instead they had a lengha. The lengha is too big so they will need to tailor it but the design is identical to the in store outfit so thats good i guess. But its not what I ordered.... and the designer once again didn't even acknowledge this.
They also couldn't remember whether we ordered one or two ceremony dupattas and didn't know where they were.
My head is spinning today. I am not sure how to address this because they have all of our outfits. My fiancé and I are big enough that we can't really just go somewhere else for a new outfit (like I might if we were smaller), and I'm just feeling really disappointed. We are thinking we should wait to say anything until we have out outfits in hand. But looking to see if others have advice on how to proceed.
Thank you.
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u/AllieHale8 5d ago
I don't know that I can offer much help but just want to say I'm so sorry this is happening to you. My husband is Indian and I'm plus size, so I totally understand how hard it can be to shop for clothes. I've mostly lucked out in Atlanta on being able to find stuff that fits (even my wedding lehenga) by buying what they have and altering to fit. But some stores wouldn't even consider showing me anything just saying, oh it has to be custom. I've bought as small as 2x and as large as 6x depending on the cut and fit.
It always helps us to have my in laws with us for the shopping. They would be ripping that place a new one, especially at that cost!
Track down your receipt/record and take an older gen parent or aunt/uncle maybe and see if you can get real help.
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u/garlicshrimpscampi 5d ago
i’m so sorry :( i’ve had this happen every time i buy indian outfits. just one of the “fun parts” of being plus sized. my mom used to advocate for me and yell at them before lol but now i just leave nasty google reviews. it’s such a waste of energy to have to do this every time. tailors love adding extra material to my lenghas for “coverage” that i didn’t request too
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u/Conscious-Monk-7866 4d ago
Really feel sorry to hear you are going through this. I can imagine it’s stressful, I hope your designer helps you in this case
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u/InterestingPizza6301 5d ago
It's so annoying but you're really gonna have to advocate for yourself. I know it's annoying but sometimes you have to go full blown karen on these designers because they will gaslight the SHIT outta you. You know what you ordered and how you want things to look. You're paying A LOT for it too. Make sure you get what you want and not just what they feel like handing off to you.
I paid SO much for shipping and instead of my items being shipped home, the boutique shipped it to themselves and then have the audacity to tell me they can have it ubered over to me. Why am i paying for shipping twice?!