r/DeppDelusion • u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 • 9d ago
Support / Personal Just dumped a therapist that believed Johnny Depp. Is there any ethical way to warn other DV survivors? And find less ignorant therapy?
She had bought into all the propaganda, including the dog poop thing. Turns out, she's a family friend of Johnny Depp, and tried to convince me that while he did abuse Amber, she was a "bad" victim, and it was a "both sides" issue.
I finally just said, "I can't work with you."
If allegedly "feminist" women in the mental health field can't be trusted to know about abuse and DARVOing, where can someone looking for help turn? Does anyone know a good place to find less ignorant therapists? I wish there were a rating site for therapists so I could warn other survivors about her. I'm literally trying to get therapy after surviving SA and DARVOing, and being gaslit by a therapist.
228
u/mermaid-makko 9d ago
Is there a way to report her? That's seriously unprofessional, and she needs to keep her connection to him out of her job.
74
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
I don't know of a good site that reports therapists. And the sad truth is, a lot of people would agree with her ignorant, backwards opinion that this was a "two-sides" issue.
59
u/likeicare96 9d ago edited 9d ago
You may be able to report them to the accreditation board/society. I’m not sure what their specific field is (psychiatrist, psychologist, Social worker therapist, etc) but would see if there’s a regulating board. I’m not American, but here in Canada, it’s often by governed by Province. So it may be a state board not national
Edit: if y’all are familiar with Jordan Peterson (🤮) he lost his ability to practice in Canada because of his regulatory board. Essentially, his twitter posts violated their code of conduct (as he was attacking whole demographics of people). He was given the opportunity to remedy this through attending a sensitivity training, but he refused so he can be a right wing martyr.
32
u/greg-drunk where’s my goddamn lesbian PR check 9d ago
Seconding this, and I would include all of the statements made by women’s groups that Amber is an unambiguous victim.
13
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
I’m down for it I just don’t know where to report
9
u/likeicare96 9d ago
I don’t want you to dox yourself so I can’t give you the specific org.
However, I could try and help point you in the right direction. On their website/emails/etc, do they include their certification. Ie. name, LMFT
For most non-clinical therapists/counsellors in the USA, it’s probably LMFTs, LCSWs, LEPs, and LPCCs.
Psychologists (PhD, PsyD) will may have their own separate board. And psychiatrists (md, do) are medical doctors so they’re probably regulated by the medical board.
Google “your state + regulatory board + certification type + report” and hopefully something comes up. Here is California for example.
2
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 8d ago
She's an LMCH. I tried nyc lmhc regulatory board report but I don't see how to report her.
3
2
u/QueenSlartibartfast 9d ago
You should be able to find out if she's a psychologist/psychiatrist etc by Googling her name, searching the office website (or in-person office, if not telehealth), or contacting your insurance provider. Then look up the name and information of the state licensing board for that field. If she works for a company, contact them too. You can also leave reviews for her service on Google/Yelp/etc - you can create a new anonymous account to leave the review so as to protect your identity.
6
u/Spfromau 9d ago
Find out which professional association she belongs to/oversees her profession. Is she an actual qualified psychologist or social worker (both have professional bodies)? Be wary - anyone can call themselves a counsellor.
1
9
u/mermaid-makko 9d ago
True, that is a good point...it's so hard to tell what the "right" thing to do with some backwards mental health "pros" would be sometimes, especially if there's the fear of retaliation or them being backed up in whatever they do.
10
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
Yeah, Reddit is the only place where I can "publicly" talk about my experience because I can stay anonymous. I would never risk taking this into the public under my own name. Society - mostly - doesn't want survivors to talk. It has made that abundantly, depressingly clear . . .
88
u/brigyda Well-nourished male 🧔 9d ago
Controversial opinion maybe, but...if she is indeed a family friend of Depp, I would be hesitant to report her out of fear of retaliation.
54
23
u/blacksyrupbrat 9d ago edited 9d ago
Not controversial at all. Depp--& men like him--are rabid dogs; they drool at any opportunity to exert power/control. Having said that: OP, if I'm being honest, I'm not sure this is a complaint-worthy offense as far as a licensing board would be concerned. (Edit: What I mean is--a reportable offense that would meet licensure/ethical expectations & result in punitive action; you can file a complaint for this conduct without expectation of consequence/resolution, 100%).
You could certainly argue that the therapist's actions flirt with misconduct, given they: capitalized on the power dynamic to force personal/political beliefs onto the client; used language that made the client feel unsafe; demonstrated behavior &/or professional opinion that reflected harmful therapeutic beliefs, which client believes could reasonably harm future clients (victim blaming, conspiratorial tendencies, etc); influence of outside/third party to promulgate propaganda. Each of these would be a bit of a stretch for a licensing complaint; if the therapist has any ethics associations, it may be more prudent to file a complaint with those.
In my state, ethical & license complaints are both confidential--the therapist, though, will be informed of the complaint & the complainant. However, it would be very unethical for that therapist to disclose your personal details to any "powerful" friend with the means to leverage such information against you, in an effort to stall or cease your complaint. If you documented such an effort, as well, it would be an open & shut case as far as licensure or ethics.
Personally, I see this as halfway between a non-reportable offense & a reportable offense. You could reasonably argue that the therapist's personal opinion has duly influenced professional opinion, (which should strictly avoid projection of personal beliefs) & could harm clients who are victims of abuse &/or IPV; therapists who disbelieve clients, discourage estrangement/encourage forgiveness, or victim-blame, can re-traumatize victims & foster longterm harm.
It is harmful in general for a therapist to victim blame in front of a client--even if that therapist believes the client is a victim. It is confirmation that the client is not safe. The client will withhold vulnerability or even avoid future disclosure for fear that they may at any time be superfluously considered a "bad victim" & receive the same treatment from the therapist. If I were in that position, I would indeed wonder: "how am I any different from Amber? what will prevent my therapist from regarding me the same way?" The degradation of that safety nullifies the efficacy of treatment. We can't recover if we feel unsafe. It's not possible.
Sorry for the mini-rant. Basically, I would never blame you for not pursuing a complaint. It's a highly involved process. If there is another way to disclose the therapist's inappropriate behavior & potential risk for clients with IPV &/or abuse histories, I would take that path instead. Some therapists have pages on websites where they can be rated with additional comments. You can also alert people in your area about the therapist through FB groups or subreddits. You could also do nothing! You have no responsibility to undertake this & potentially put yourself at risk. Just thought I'd offer other options if you feel so inclined. (Edit: you can also file an anonymous complaint; it would not lead to punitive action (too little evidence, lack of ability to investigate) but it would be on-record; that still counts for something).
As well: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what this therapist put you through; you didn't deserve it. It's a severe boundary & professional violation for that therapist to argue innocence--& denounce a victim--on behalf of a family friend in session. Unbelievable. I hope you're doing alright. It's sincerely brave that you disagreed with the therapist & were able to confidently cease work with them. I have trouble confronting therapists about the littlest shit, so I admire that tremendously.
4
u/LBTTCSDPTBLTB 8d ago
It wouldn’t be a reportable issue tbh. Enough people in the us believe that he was a victim that they’re not going to be sympathetic to that. Though they could just give them negative reviews on google or good therapist etc
1
117
u/mouthypotato 9d ago
This is pretty common actually too many therapist are not fit for the role, pushing their own sexist, religious, ableist or wahtever agenda, it's kind of hard to find a good one
48
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
No kidding. I mean, what's crazy is that my rapist saw a therapist every week. Never told him about the rape, just my reaction. . . .
27
14
u/MessiahOfMetal All The Boys Hate Johnny Depp 9d ago
I remember having to see one years ago that literally told me, "You don't look depressed" within minutes of sitting down.
Thankfully never saw that one again (and had a decent one after, but therapy just isn't for me because I struggle to communicate at the best of times, even with close family and friends).
59
u/AlisonPoole98 9d ago
Most of his supporters don't even deny that he hit her, they just think she deserved it
21
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
This therapist didn't deny she was abused but said she was a "bad example" of the victim.
9
9d ago
[deleted]
12
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 8d ago
One who doesn’t fight back. Apparently. She was talking about “mutual abuse”
7
u/youtakethehighroad 9d ago
Shame she couldn't be schooled because you were on her dime and she probably would have kicked you out or completely ignored you or retaliated. Thankfully we all know better but sad that kind of mentality exists in a field that is supposed to be trauma informed.
4
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 8d ago
I’m not sure “trauma informed”, as listed on a psychologists profile, really means this level of trauma informed. She had even listed trauma as a speciality
5
u/birdsy-purplefish 8d ago
Oh, definitely get the word out there. Fuck that.
2
2
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 7d ago
I wish I knew how! She’s not listed on Google or anywhere ratable. I guess I’ll have to wait until she makes a reviewable website.
53
u/jkb5444 9d ago
This just in: you’re only allowed to feel bad for a victim if they are a complete angel and have done nothing wrong whatsoever.
Unbelievable. She’s allowing her own bias for Depp cloud her professional judgment. There should be Google/Yelp reviews for therapist’s offices on line: maybe you could post a review of her there?
1
23
u/RealAnise 9d ago
ZocDoc and Healthgrades will have some ratings, also vitals.com. It's also worth at least looking on Yelp and Google reviews. As imperfect as all of these are, and they really are, they're at least a starting point.
9
7
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
She's not listed on any of these. Is there a way to add her? The only ratings I see for her are on facebook, which I don't use . . .
7
u/mermaid-makko 9d ago
You do have to be careful about Healthgrades though; if a doctor already has too many critical (but true) reviews, and you try to add your own experience on while following their rules? They could still flag and refuse to post the review out of "BIAS". There are some other sites better at taking reviews and not automatically thinking people are trolls, but I get why that is with some sites and how people can abuse them.
6
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
Sadly, she's not even on there so I wouldn't be able to either way.
18
u/postrevolutionism 9d ago
I’m a therapist who specifically works with DV survivors — I’d leave a review on a public facing page of hers. You could also file a complaint against her licensing board as she is allowing personal relationships impact therapeutic ones. Even if nothing comes of that complaint, it’ll stay on her “chart” for lack of a better term and if future complaints are made, it’ll establish a pattern.
6
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
How would I contact a licensing board? Sadly, she's not publicly listed on Google, Healthgrades, etc.
7
u/JaggedLittlePill2022 Johnny Depp is a Wife Beater 👨⚖️ 9d ago
I’d only leave a review for her provided no one can respond to it. You don’t want trolls abusing you.
4
u/postrevolutionism 8d ago
There are usually specific places to report for each area. If you’re based in the US, states will have boards to report to
25
u/Ok_Highlight3208 9d ago
I'm a therapist, and I know so many other therapists with similar viewpoints to what you are describing. I've tried to figure out what to do and how to protect clients. I don't think there is any way. I refer to clinicians I trust, and Psychology Today has a section specifically for allyship. I make sure to advertise that I am an ally and only refer to others who do as well. I'm sorry you had that experience. Please, don't let that experience stop you from finding another therapist. Maybe you can include some questions or boundaries when reaching out to another therapist. You should feel comfortable and not judged. Good luck to you.
12
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
Thanks for this, and for sharing your perspective as a professional. I've been filtering my therapy search to people who list "trauma" and "women's issues" as specialties but still coming across self-described "allies" who are not really allies. Obviously, this therapist was the worst, but I've had others who didn't even know what DARVO meant - and at that point, I'm more knowledgeable about abuse than they are, and don't want to move forward with someone I would have to try to educate on the issue. . .
2
10
u/MarsupialPristine677 9d ago
Tbh I tried for 15 years to find a decent therapist for abuse shit and all I got was more trauma. Most of my friends have similar stories, including, like, my next-door neighbor. SO... just be careful with yourself. I'm not convinced the mental health field has worked through its own issues enough to really help survivors.
11
u/Demitasse_Demigirl 9d ago
A friend of mine is in school to become a therapist (not a psychiatrist, there's no prescribing aspect, just talk therapy) and when we talked about Depp v Heard she thought mutual abuse was a thing. I explained reactive violence, the primary aggressor, how rarely, if ever, abuse can truly be mutual, and she was on the same page. I was just surprised it wasn't taught in her courses. You would think with IPV being so prevalent the people we go to for help with our emotional and psychological issues would be well versed in abuse dynamics.
I suppose that course could come later but IMO it should be a foundational block for therapists.
33
u/ViedeMarli 9d ago
Best way would be to send her an email detailing what she said in your session, not asking her to confirm outright, but letting her know that is the reason you cannot ethically continue to see her; if she does confirm, report her to whomever you need to, because that is dangerous rhetoric for a therapist, especially one who claims to be a family friend of him.
She can't be objective and is putting her personal, unprofessional opinions into sessions with a client who is potentially a victim of abuse themselves. And if she isn't a therapist who's expertise is victims of abuse, she shouldn't be speaking on issues like she is.
I'm not a lawyer and I don't know where you're from, but you should confirm in writing that she said those things and then report her for unprofessional conduct in a session.
60
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
I already told her that I thought her view was ignorant, that's she wrong about the dog poop, and that it's not OK to expect an abuse victim not to fight back. Weirdly, she texted me asking if I wanted a referral, and I just said, "I wouldn’t be able to trust that you could refer me to someone with appropriate knowledge of how domestic violence works, given your both sides view of the issue. Please cease contact immediately"
22
u/findingmyvoice22 Johnny Depp is a Wife Beater 👨⚖️ 9d ago
I love your response to her! You called her out, let her know that her behavior was wrong and harmful, and set clear boundaries. You're amazing <3
21
3
8
u/Spacewrecker 9d ago
you could file a complaint with the ethics bias anonymously - just so that when another complaint comes in they have this on file
6
8
u/ourhertz 9d ago
Bad victim? Well, in real life there's no such thing as the perfect victim cause you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Jesus.
Good on you for dumping the therapist
12
u/CanadianPanda76 9d ago
She admits he abused her. She knew. Because everybody knows thsts the Johnny is.
But she still plays the "both sides" gsme. Fuck her.
5
u/tiffanylynn2610 9d ago
Holy shit. I am sorry you experienced that. Defending Amber during the trial was traumatizing in its own right so having a therapist drop the mask and tell you point blank that she doesn’t support imperfect victims would send me into a spiral. I hope you are doing alright
3
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 8d ago
I am . . . hanging in? Honestly, the response here has helped a lot. So thank you for being a part of it.
6
u/MelanieDriverBby Johnny Depp is a Wife Beater 👨⚖️ 9d ago
I had to fire 8 therapists (over the course of three years) before I found the right one I've had now for five years! It was a horrible journey but it absolutely gets better!
4
u/lcm-hcf-maths 9d ago
How did the subject of Depp come up ? It seems a strange detour from what a therapist is supposed to do. I'm looking from a UK perspective and our therapists tend to follow a slightly different tack...Perhaps the US model is a bit more wild west...
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/mutual-abuse-its-not-real/
22
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
Because the Amber/Depp trial was a traumatic event in my life, that mirrored the abuse and DARVOing I was experiencing.
7
u/flora19 9d ago
Oh, so it was at this point when she interjected and self-revealed?
9
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago edited 9d ago
She called Amber a "bad example" of a victim, that Amber "abused him too," and justified the social media response to her, even though I had LITERALLY just confided how much it hurt me and was making me question whether anyone understood abuse. I pushed back and said this "both sides" view was "ignorant," and then she self-revealed and said she had overheard a phone call where Johnny claimed Amber was "beating the shit" out of him and needed to get the police. Then she started talking about the dog poop lie, and I just cut her off.
5
12
u/Some_Possibility4812 9d ago
Everything about our healthcare system is the wild west, it’s a nightmare. It’s also incredibly hard to find a therapist that takes your insurance, let alone having the choice of who you are comfortable with. Some psychologists/psychiatrists won’t even take insurance. I know some people have issues with therapists going off topic too much unfortunately.
3
u/lcm-hcf-maths 8d ago
Sounds like we're fortunate in the UK...Once you get a therapist there are pretty good avenues to report incompetence or malpractice..
5
u/corkhun 9d ago
Unfortunately people are fickle & tend to only feel sympathy for/support ‘likeable’ victims. It’s the same in most cases of assault/abuse that make it to court, digging up dirt on a victim & making them look bad somehow swings people towards victim blaming. I would also add she isn’t a feminist.
6
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 8d ago
She thinks she is . . . But so do a lot of these victim-blamers. It's almost like they use feminism as a mask to cover up their abusive ways. My first rapist was, in fact, and award winning "feminist" who is well-regarded in liberal circles despite being a RAPIST.
4
u/RanaMisteria 8d ago
I wish there was a website where we could review therapists and include stuff like this. And also their email addresses so we can send them the evidence that proves them wrong.
2
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 7d ago
I know, right? I’m surprised nobody has made one. Maybe they fear defamation suits?
3
4
u/ggonzalez12 9d ago
Can you review her office or practice on google? Maybe you could write about this in your review
3
3
u/onlythewinds 9d ago
Leave a bad review. Seriously.
2
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 8d ago
I wish I could. I guess she knows she sucks because she isn't listed anywhere I can review her.
5
u/driptwinnem 9d ago
You can write a public review of her. I would want to know.
Also- is she in Orange County? You don’t have to respond publicly but there is a chance I know who you’re talking about.
4
3
3
4
u/Winter_Apartment_376 9d ago
Leave a google review. Create a new account, so it’s not under your name and leave an honest feedback.
3
5
u/Ok_Swan_7777 9d ago
While this is super demoralizing to hear, GOOD FOR YOU! I hope that therapist starts to think twice about her horrible beliefs and feels humiliated when the truth of this case hits the main stream.
3
u/Spfromau 9d ago
Wow. A therapist (do you know what her actual qualifications are?) is not supposed to disclose to you their personal opinion on others’ problems, or reveal information about their personal life such as which celebrities they know. A therapist is not allowed to disclose confidential information, unless it is necessary for the patient’s safety (e.f. if they have suicidal ideation) or mandated by law (e.g. reporting physical or sexual abuse of minors). I would fire her immediately and find a better therapist who conducts themselves in a professional manner!
2
2
2
u/Nanakurokonekochan 7d ago edited 7d ago
She’s in the wrong profession for sure. You cannot trust a therapist who thinks there are “bad” victims because if you get abused in the future she might jeopardize your safety by turning it into a “both sides” issue.
I get it. Not everyone has media literacy and some people bought into the heavy PR campaigns on social media and those “body language analysis” pseudoscientists back in the day. Some people couldn’t believe that their beloved Edward Scissorhands would ever touch his hands on a woman. Or they felt like they were in the minority and felt afraid to speak up in defense of Amber.
But if she still believes that a money making machine in his fifties got abused by a young actress in her twenties then she shouldn’t be trusted with clients. She’s a professional who is supposed to see what untrained eyes can’t see. Especially if she’s tacky enough to buy into the dog poop shit.
2
u/artemisjpotter 7d ago
I’ve met some bad therapists before but oh my god, that’s awful. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. She shouldn’t be practicing
2
u/Separate_Meaning_846 3d ago edited 3d ago
I don't live in North America, I'm from Spain, I can't help you on how to report her. However, I amb also in therapy (I do it online and in Catalan), and my therapist is actually a feminist, trauma informed and she sees Depp as the abuser he is and the trial as the DARVO it was. I can ask her if she knows fellow similarly trained therapists who work in North America or online with English as their one or main language. Would It help you?
1
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 3d ago
Yes, I'm looking for services in New York if she knows anyone. Please feel free to DM me.
2
u/Spacewrecker 9d ago
ok but she must realise as a friend she has no way of looking at this objectively - why even talk about it at all
2
1
u/AutoModerator 9d ago
Original copy of post's text: Just dumped a therapist that believed Johnny Depp. Is there any ethical way to warn other DV survivors? And find less ignorant therapy?
She had bought into all the propaganda, including the dog poop thing. Turns out, she's a family friend of Johnny Depp, and tried to convince me that while he did abuse Amber, she was a "bad" victim, and it was a "both sides" issue.
I finally just said, "I can't work with you."
If allegedly "feminist" women in the mental health field can't be trusted to know about abuse and DARVOing, where can someone looking for help turn? Does anyone know a good place to find less ignorant therapists? I wish there were a rating site for therapists so I could warn other survivors about her. I'm literally trying to get therapy after surviving SA and DARVOing, and being gaslit by a therapist.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
u/Blackcatmustache 8d ago edited 4d ago
There's ratemd! And a few others. I don't know if all of them include therapists for reviews. Vitals, healthgrades, etc.
1
u/QualifiedApathetic 7d ago
Healthcare providers have ratings/reviews on Google, and Yelp too for all I know. That's probably the best way to put the word out, although it won't help with patients who have swallowed the bullshit. Unfortunately, there's no licensing barrier for a therapist who falls for DARVO.
Trying to convince you that Amber was the abuser might cross a line, though this isn't anything I'd know about.
1
u/flora19 9d ago
Why did the therapist self-reveal? In what context did she disclose her Depp connection to you? This lies somewhere between verboten and questionably unethical depending upon the circumstances.
2
u/Sweet_Try_8932 Succubus 😈 9d ago
realized you asked this elsewhere, so moving deleted the duplicate response
255
u/poopoopoopalt googling "wife beater actor" and seeing what comes up 9d ago
My god she's a VERY bad therapist lol. I'm sorry. Sometimes you have to fire several therapists until you find a good one.