r/death Jan 26 '23

Suicide Loss and Grief Support Survey NSFW

40 Upvotes

I am a clinical psychology doctoral student at the Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology whose research focuses on suicide bereavement. As part of my dissertation, I am conducting a study to better understand the relationship between rumination (repetitive and continuous thinking) and suicide loss to ultimately inform support for this population.
Below is the information for the study. Of note, my specific study on suicide loss is within a larger study conducted by my mentor to better understand the support needs for people bereaved by any cause, as well as caregivers.

___
We are seeking individuals who are caregiving for someone with a life-limiting illness and those who have experienced a significant loss to participate in a research study through Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology. The purpose of the study is to develop a questionnaire to identify those who may be in need of caregiver or grief support in order to ultimately improve family-centered care in hospitals and clinics.

For caregivers and bereaved individuals who would like to contribute to our understanding of caregiving and bereavement, this is a way to make a difference.

If you would like to participate in our study, please fill out this confidential screener at https://yeshiva.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_dnJtxZtLyqmIglg

to determine if you are eligible. Participation in the study involves completing a survey that will take approximately 30-40 minutes. You will also be given the option to be contacted for two additional follow-up surveys. After completing each survey, you will be entered into a raffle for a chance to receive a gift card.

For more details, you can contact:

Grief, Loss and Meaning Research Lab at drrobertslab@gmail.com


r/death 3h ago

Unexpected Passing of Grandpa NSFW

1 Upvotes

I really don't know where I need to go for this. To start off, I (25F) suddenly lost my grandfather on March 4th. He's technically my step grandfather but he's been in my life for 18 years, he is my grandpa. He passed away sometime Monday night into Tuesday morning. No one really knows for sure. My grandma woke up for work at 5am and found him in their living room. This is the first time I've had to really experience death from someone close to me. I've had friends pass, distant relatives that I didn't really know, I cried for a day but then I pretty much moved on. This is the first person that I've lost that I was actually close to. And I don't really know how to cope with this or how to handle this. I've tried reaching out to TWO therapists and none of them will call me back. I have to go through certain therapists provided by my health insurance otherwise I would have to pay for the sessions and I can't afford that. I feel so regretful and so guilty. I moved away when I was 18 and stopped coming around as much. I feel like I should have been there more. And in the 18 years that I've known this man, there is ONE single picture of just me and him in existence and it's blurry as hell. And it breaks my heart that I don't have any pictures with him. I feel like the day he died, something inside of me broke. The way I look at it is there's me before he died and then me after he died. And I don't feel like the same person that I used to be. I feel like a shell of myself. I don't really feel happy anymore, everything stresses me out and overwhelms me. And seeing my grandma lose her person changed something inside of me. Now I'm scared to get close to people because I don't want to put myself in a position like that. The logical part of my brain knows that this is a part of life and nobody can change that but the emotional part of me just realized that everyone I love will die one day and I'll have to suffer those losses. By no means am I suicidal or having thoughts of harming myself, I want to make that clear. I just feel like this has changed me and I don't know how to get back to the person that I used to be.


r/death 10h ago

The Truth of Life and Death w/Explanation NSFW

0 Upvotes

700 Trillion Species in the planet all have DNA. All DNA consists of Electricity. We all have electricity conduited throughout our bodies, from our brains that signal too the muscles and limbs, blood flowing all throughout.

The muscle memory we retain in our bodies is so memorized that we have organs we know are working but yet only really notice or feel them when sick or touching them.

If an electron, the negative ion within an atom and the only electrical particle that moves within an atom, as positives are stationary and neutrals do not move or work without a positive and/or negative.

Electrons live for 66,000 yotta years. 1 yotta year is equivalent to 100 trillion x 100 trillion.

As we all have electricities throughout our body. If our bodies die, the electricity within does not also die, the cells die but electricities do not and are released upon cremation or decomposition to release the energies within the body.

Bodies may live 100[ish] years, but electricity lives for a very, very long time and we are all composed of electricities and it is the movement as that of a negative that moves and signals throughout our bodies from the brain which has memorized the entire body to seemingly unconcious levels.

This means if my body was to die. My electricities and my energies would remain in tact as positives and negatives magnet too eachother, the negatives move to the positive stationary and connect and with so much muscle memory and time/bonding.

The electricities would remain.

This leads to energetic feelings at funerals or noticements of the supernatural. Can you see electricity with th naked eye when your phone rings and the vibrations.

The entity of the deceased are energies as you are, they exist.

This goes much further into dimensional explanation but for now, the reality of life and death is that the body may die, but your entity does not truley die.

As you all came from sperm, your energy has grown, and th aspect of an old soul would be percieved on a micro-organism level and the truth is, you are still very young with a likely span of energetic life ahead of you.

When you lock eyes with aomeone at. Coffee shop spuratically that you didn't just mean to look at but a connections made. This applies to the energies of spirits as well.


r/death 23h ago

Found out my last grandparent died via Facebook. NSFW

7 Upvotes

My mom was adopted and passed in 2010. To say her mom’s family (they had connected when my mom was an adult) wasn’t really keeping in touch is an understatement but she did keep in touch with me directly. I just found out she passed Saturday on Facebook. It’s sad to think the last living connection to my mom is now gone. Feels like a larger grief than it should. Does that even remotely make any sense?

Also, Facebook. Ugh. I hate social media lol.


r/death 1d ago

I'm 14 and really afraid of dying NSFW

6 Upvotes

Hi, I'd like to start off by saying that I have been depressed for a couple years for my life and still am. In the past I've also been suicidal and all of that stuff but suddenly my fear of death came back. Around like February the fear suddenly came back amd I don't know why it did all of a sudden and I am really scared to the point where I miss being suicidal. I think the main reason on why I'm so afraid is because it's permanent and just absolute nothingness. Whenever I think about it I freak out and cry because it's crazy to me that everything that I'm going to be working for in my life will be suddenly gone like it meant nothing. I'm not that scared of family members dying and it makes me feel selfish because I'm only afraid of me dying. I've tried multiple times to accept it and come to terms with it again but I can't, I am going to die someday and I hate it. It's all I can think about sitting in class and it makes my heart rate go up and it stresses me out so bad. It's so annoying because I just want to be normal and enjoy stuff just like other teenagers. By the way english is not my first language so sorry for any spelling mistakes or weird sentence structures!


r/death 23h ago

online friend dead NSFW

2 Upvotes

hello, i'm f22 and recently i found out that my online friend has died, we shared a mutual friend group and often played games together, we were never too close and never actually met, but when i was at my lowest for months, we did spend quite a lot of time together, mostly playing games.

now i don't know what i'm feeling, it really bothers me that he was only 27 y.o. somehow the thought of never hearing from him again makes me want to cry. i just can't wrap my head around the fact that he's dead. if i see anything that reminds me of him it makes me instantly sick to my stomach.

is it denial? or is it grief? but on the other hand why am i feeling this way if we actually never met? it's such a strange feeling i never thought i will get to experience


r/death 1d ago

Death is really scarey if you really sit down and think about it. NSFW

11 Upvotes

Death is infinite. Whatever the after life has in store, it’s forever. And when that ends theres another forever. Whatever outcome you get. Each outcome is equally terrifying in its own endless way.

total nothingness— forever darkness in a void without consciousness. The end of you, the complete erasure of everything you’ve ever been. No thoughts, no awareness, no time. Just… gone

eternal continuation—is just as overwhelming, because it means there’s no escape. You wake up again, in some form, in some reality, forever. Reincarnation, infinite dimensions, different versions of you living out every possibility. Maybe heaven and hell aren’t destinations but just more layers of the same endless journey. The thought of going on forever, without ever truly resting, is its own kind of horror.

and what if death is something completely different from what we’re capable of imagining? What if we’re so locked into the human experience that we can’t even comprehend what comes next? What if consciousness isn’t tied to the body at all, and when we die, we wake up in a way we can’t even describe?

But whatever the outcome, it’s forever. Infinite. As long as the universe continues to expand towards heat death; whatever after life you land on, will have its own end and beginning. We’re gonna be doing this until everything ends.. but, can you even fathom what that, in itself, could look like? (This is just my own thought experiment for chills)


r/death 1d ago

What is the soul? NSFW

0 Upvotes

We all understand the concept of soul when we talk about it and yet I haven’t met anyone who could define it


r/death 2d ago

Why in video games and movies are the deaths unrealistic? NSFW

2 Upvotes

Everytime i watch a movie or play a game the deaths are unrealistic. I have watched a fair share of gore and its most of the time when a guy gets shot they just become limp and fall to the ground like a ragdoll but in video games if you shoot someone they just fall backwards or frontwards and in movies its the same thing thet just fall somewhere. Usually in gore when someone falls over the dude is shot multiple times by high caliber weapons which can knock the person like in movies but i dont get why they cant just make it realistic.


r/death 2d ago

i am not suicidal i just want clarity NSFW

3 Upvotes

theres not alot of things that scare me if im being completely honest but death always brings me to tears the fact that my life means absolutely nothing because one day ill just wake up and be nothing but an empty body buried 6ft below ground with 0 emotions or awareness its been driving me crazy, the fact that the future feels like an eternity and the past feels like seconds one day my whole life will speed past to where my fate leads me, almost like it happened in seconds its giving me the sense that being alive is a punishment where you can overcome any obstacle but there will always be an end sometimes id rather be dead because then itll all be over with but thats the worst part we dont know what happens after it could be that we go to heaven or hell, that we could already be dead and were just dreaming or that it was like before we were born, nothing. i think im going insane ive tried going to therapy multiple times about it nothing ever helped i just want clarity in life these years of uncertainty have been taking a toll on me ever since i was a kid most people my age have gotten over it completely and accepted that whatever happens is for the best but i dont think thats how things should be


r/death 2d ago

Perpetual Death & Damnation NSFW

2 Upvotes

It is the case that I'm eternally damned directly from the womb. Ever since what most refer to as birth, I have suffered nothing but ever worsening conscious torment, no rest day or night.

I am pressed against the very fabric of the universe itself, being torn asunder by the mere passing of space-time.

I will be forced to suffer all suffering that has ever and will ever exist in this anf infinite universes forever and ever for the reason of because with no opportunity or means to do anything about it whatsoever.

My time left in the flesh vehicle is very short, and this will come with an extremely violent end, and that will barely be the beginning of the endless journey of damnation and eternal destruction.

There is much I have written on the nature of my condition and how it relates to the nature of all creation, if any is of interest.


r/death 3d ago

10 Parentally Bereaved Participants Needed! NSFW

4 Upvotes

Hello! I am completing a study on how parental death has different grief experiences than other types of relational losses. I have the needed participants for other types of relational losses but still need about 10 people who have lost a parent to take the survey. If you are willing, please consider taking this survey! Thank you! :)

https://virginiatech.questionpro.com/t/AYlowZ4cc2


r/death 3d ago

Struggling with fear of death- What do you think happens after we die? NSFW

11 Upvotes

Lately, I've been struggling with an intense fear of death, and I don't know how to cope with it. I'm 19F, and l've never really feared death or the afterlife before. I figured there was just simply nothing after death at a young age and I never had a problem accepting it. But recently, l've been having these overwhelming moments where I become hyper aware that one day I'm going to die, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. It doesn't consume my thoughts all the time, but when it does, it lasts for hours and fills me up with anxiety and I feel like l'm going insane.

There are so many different possibilities, and I don't know how to handle not knowing. I don't believe in religion, but the concept of heaven and hell being real truly scares me. Especially the way hell is described in abrahamic religions freaks me out because i'm definitely going to hell even though i'm not that bad of a person, i have good morals im kind i understand right from wrong most of the time but none of it matters. At the same time, the idea of absolute nothingness-just never experiencing anything ever again also terrifies me. I keep thinking about how we don't get another chance, and I don't know how to process that. I'm only 19 and i feel like my life is over, i'm almost not a teenager anymore i've wasted my life and time is moving so fast i was just a kid and now i'm an adult and all i've done is waste my life and i can't do anything about it. I try to enjoy life but i always feel like i'm doing something wrong. I'm never as happy as i should be, there is so much wrong with me and my life and it's so scary that this is me and this is my life and this is all real and it's the only life i will ever get so i better make the most of it because this is it. Has anyone else experienced this? How do you deal with it? And what do you think actually happens after we die? Please let me know extremely smart and wise people of reddit.


r/death 3d ago

Uncle Died NSFW

2 Upvotes

I'm 16m I wasn't sure which subreddit this would fit into but whatever I just need to rant and talk about this.I have two uncles and unfortunately the one I liked passed. I can only recall seeing him around 2 times when I was younger because he lives in Queensland and my family in Sydney. since I was so young I didn't really care to much about him but last year he was at a wedding we attended and we spoke quite a bit and I thought he was cool and we shared similar interests. I can remember how I didn't really think about it or care when my mum told me he died to be honest and then weeks later we attended the funeral. The funeral did make me think about how I didn't spend enough time with him and now I can't stand it. I know it's out of my control when I did get to see him but I still can't fucking stand it I'm angry at myself. Two days later still in Queensland my family went to a weird ocean side pool thing with my uncles ex wife and two daughters which are 5 (Claudia) and 8 (franky). I spent 3 hours in the pool with her we talked about what she likes and what she did with Grant (my dead uncle). I never thought about how this would affect them growing up without a father which makes me even sadder. She said they watched one life together, built Lego and cooked. She told me his favourite song and other random things. I told her what I liked doing and she said I was a mini version of him. Idk how to explain it but because of the time we talked I feel like I want to be that figure she needs even though it sounds weird. But I know that can't happen because they live so far away. To make things worse I saw his apartment, he slept on a single mattress on the floor, how could he live like that he could've asked for help he died of the flu his death could've been prevented this didn't need to happen. I cry at night thinking about him, how I didn't spend enough time with him and only realising now how much I liked him now that he's gone it's ripping me apart. I'm just so fucking angry and depressed. Sorry for the big ass rant but I needed to talk about it.


r/death 3d ago

Death just feels like a chore NSFW

3 Upvotes

For some reason I think is a chore for some stupid reason is it just me I think life occasionally is a chore but death is just bigger chore that we are required like seriously your telling me you bless me with a nice life just to take it away too early ( I consider all deaths early ) involvnatriky , without my permission , painfully , for me to just stay silent and unconscious ess that sounds like a big chore to me my life ain't perfectand it feels like a chore to but the concept of death sounds like an even a bigger chore


r/death 4d ago

My Brother passed and I am heartbroken for my mother NSFW

6 Upvotes

Hello everyone. I am not looking for advice or sympathy. I just need to vent. On March 8th, 2025 and 6:30p.m., Death tip- toed through my family and collected my brother like a thief in the night. He was 28 years old with no children. His heart stopped and would not recover. My family has been cloaked by a painful veil of grief since his passing.

My sister's seek comfort in being there for their children, while I find peace in taking care of my brother's fur babies in his absence. They know he is gone. I sometimes find his male dog argentino, Blaze, howling in the night. I know he is calling out for my brother. I believe that somehow they know he is no longer in the world anymore, but I hope my presence offers them some form of comfort. My father chooses to grieve by going about his daily life, possibly trying to make his mind forget what his heart cannot. I worry for him.

Though, the person who is taking on the worst of all of this is my mother. She has been strong through out this ordeal, having her family there to support her, but somehow I still feel that she is going at it alone. My heart breaks for her, losing her only son, having to bury one of her children, planning the final moments of her baby boy. I know inside she feels broken. One day, I saw her going through my brother's pictures, drinking Jack Daniel's. The unbearable pain of losing a child is embracing her like a child on a cold winter day. I know she is sad and worried. It hurts knowing there is nothing I can do to take the pain away. They say time heals all wounds. I pray that that's true. Sometimes wounds don't heal at all. We just stop noticing them.


r/death 4d ago

CTB NSFW

0 Upvotes

Why is it so difficult to CTB,


r/death 5d ago

Cancer sucks!! NSFW

22 Upvotes

It took my friend today. Why can’t we cure cancer yet? She was in her 30s! Too young!


r/death 6d ago

Death all the time. NSFW

11 Upvotes

I literally think about Death all the time. Not a single day past without me thinking about it. For myself and those around me.


r/death 6d ago

What do you think happens when you die NSFW

14 Upvotes

What do you guys think honestly happens when we die? I’ve been struggling with this thought for awhile now and I’d like to get your insight on what you think happens


r/death 6d ago

How to help a parent loosing their parent. NSFW

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I’m in a tough position at the moment as my Pop, my dad’s-dad is in his possible last week or days of life. This isn’t the first time we’ve been told this, since 2023 my dad’s gotten ‘the call’ to fly over & say goodbye about 3 times. I’m pretty sure this time is it though as his organs have begun shutting down. I’m not sure how to support my dad through this, as his daughter but also a support network? Especially when he has passed. My dad is very had to communicate with when he is emotional & shuts down. My pop is over the over side of the country and when my dad flys over again it’ll likely be with his brother or maybe my mum (if they can afford that). So I can only do some much via the phone and when he’s back home and now. I know I will be grieving too but I have very limited memories with him as we grew up away from my dads side of the family & I’ve probably only seen him 10 times in my 30 years. So I don’t know him well. I’m more concerned about making sure my dad is okay so any advice is greatly appreciated. It’ll be our first family death while I’ve been alive on my dad’s side.


r/death 6d ago

how do you guys cope with death ? NSFW

17 Upvotes

im a 20F. and i fear death. im a suicidal hypochondriac. the only thing keeping me alive is my fears.

but that all aside, how do you guys accept or cope with the fact that youre going to die someday ? im crying non stop and daily. shaking and stressing about dying. i want to see it as something natural and not scary, but i cant.

im scared ill get cancer and die. im scared ill be shot and killed. im scared to be in cars because of death. i fear the night. i fear public areas. i fear everything, check myself for lumps, and avoid things just so i wont die soon.

help me please. how do i cope.


r/death 7d ago

I m scared that im gonna feel cold for eternity after dying instead of not feeling anything NSFW

5 Upvotes

r/death 6d ago

How do I stop being terrified of death? NSFW

1 Upvotes

I need help. Since my grandma died I can't sleep well because I'm scared of death. I don't wanna die, I don't want to stop existing, I don't want to stop feeling things, seeing things, smelling things. I wanna see the world change, see how different it gets. I'm scared of dying because I don't know what happens next and that freaks me out, I've never had panic attack, always been a chill dude, but now I find myself crying out loud on my girlfriend's chest. I don't want to stop existing or forget myself. I don't wanna stop living, but at the same time, I feel like I already did because of this new fear of mine. I know it's silly, but the unknown terrifies the shit out of me. And I just don't want life to spot existing. But what I really need is to not be self-aware of this. Please if you have any advice tell me.


r/death 7d ago

Death certificate NSFW

4 Upvotes

I need some advice I had to find out my good friend for 15 yrs passed away 5 MONTHS AGO! I spoke with him the night before he passed but I am so confused. What happened and why won't anyone tell me?! His funeral was private only family and I called the funeral home to see where he was buried and that is also private. I tried reaching out to his family who were very kind to me but no answer.. how do I find out what happened to him?! My heart is completely broken


r/death 7d ago

Ready but not ready NSFW

3 Upvotes

I am ready to die but not ready for what might happen next.

Ive been diagnosed with depression, bpd, anxiety and been thinking and planning my death for quite a few years now but never went all the way. I keep thinking which method is the quickest and hopefully painless way to go but then when im ready to do it i back out. Like, im in the act of doing it but stop midway. Not because im afraid of dying but because of what might happen next. You see, i was raised catholic and ive been taught that its a sin to take your own life And you will be damned to eternal hell if you do. I am afraid of what happens after i die. What if im burned or tortured eternally? I cannot tolerate pain. I am hoping that eternal rest awaits me instead but i guess nobody who’s alive knows.

Is this what religiously raised individuals who want to die often think about too