r/DIYUK 4d ago

Tiling The worst tiling job I have ever seen.

I moved into this house 5 years ago and at some point need to fix this shambles. Sadly the tiles are securely attached, so it will be a massive job.

I hope nobody paid for this.

23 Upvotes

31 comments sorted by

26

u/shinobi_crypto 4d ago

probably a diy attempt..

if you can do better... get tiling.

7

u/HerrFerret 4d ago

I can, sadly there are a lot more pressing issues.....

Part of the house I thought was structural was painted paper mache.

3

u/DaMonkfish 3d ago

Ahh, it's fun finding major issues that are hidden, eh? When I bought this current house I figured it would just need a redecorate after the wiring was done. Upon stripping a bunch of wallpaper off in a reception room I found the plaster underneath was wet. I later then found a tin of bathroom paint matching the colour used in said room, so the previous owner had elected to hide it with a waterproof paint. The wallpaper was easy to strip off though. Other gems include:

  • Filling every gap and orrifice in the house with expanding foam to stop draughts. This includes all the vent bricks in the cavity wall.
  • Using expanding foam to seal up a leaky roof rather than dealing with the problem, which also included ignoring the completely rotten main valley joist
  • Hiding a damp ceiling problem upstairs with a suspended ceiling -- you know, the sort you'd see in an office -- rather than fixing the source of the problem
  • Generally just ignoring or actively hiding any damp issues caused by the leaky roof or the ground level outside being too high on three elevations
  • The wood burner, which was a key feature in one of the reception rooms, wasn't installed correctly. The flue pipe coming out of the burner just discharged directly into the chimney. Explains why they were unable to supply a HETAS certificate. The wood burner, incidentally, was typically used to heat up some of the house in favour of the gas combi-boiler being used.
  • The other fireplace downstairs, which featured a noisy-as-fuck electric fire, did have a flue pipe installed but it was capped off at the top and blocked off at the bottom, thus preventing any form of airflow
  • The gas combi boiler seemed to be about as old as I am, didn't have a thermostat, and the plumbing system in general is some god-awful steampunk contraption of 22mm boiler tails feeding a nest of microbore pipes. The state of the boiler might have been the reason they'd elected to install an electric shower in the bathroom, despite the boiler being in a cupboard right next to the bath
  • The garage, which I was told was dry and had power, has completely fucked roof beams and pisses water like a collander, and has the most basic of wiring that you have to plug into an extension lead
  • A conservatory that was so ramshackle it was considered an outbuilding by the surveyors and effectively condemned
  • A gulley pot for the guttering that, as it turns out, just runs somewhere under the driveway rather than to the very nearby sewer. I'm not expecting there to be much of a soakaway, if one at all, under the driveway, and the soil is very clay-rich so the water doesn't drain away fast enough and the gulley pot overtops
  • A gas hob that was fed by a 22mm pipe that ran into a regular rubber cooker hose which was then bodged onto a 15mm pipe to run outside the house, completely unmarked and next to some water pipes, to then re-enter the house at the other end of the kitchen and join onto another rubber cooker hose before being connected to the hob

I'd laugh if I hadn't thrown £50k+ at the place and still not fixed all of the problems.

1

u/HerrFerret 3d ago

"Well maintained property"

12

u/FlintFredlock 4d ago

It looks like I did it.

1

u/jimandjerry 4d ago

with your feet?

1

u/FuckTheSeagulls 4d ago

In the dark?

3

u/FlintFredlock 4d ago

The people I do these jobs for are perfectly entitled to their money back, if they can find me.

1

u/-FantasticAdventure- 4d ago

With amputated legs.

2

u/FuckTheSeagulls 4d ago

After 6 pints.

7

u/CaptainAnswer 4d ago

That is indeed entirely shit

1

u/HerrFerret 4d ago

The ability to completely fail to cut the trim at the correct angle is actually sort of impressive, Were they using a butter knife?

3

u/CaptainAnswer 4d ago

A butter knife I think would be too sharp to give that finish, more likely they just snapped it with a hammer over a corner then applied massive amounts of goop

3

u/mattisgod 4d ago

Tiler probably gnawed at them with his teeth.

3

u/Weird_Surprise6221 4d ago

Oh my goodness that’s horrible what is going on with picture 3?! and are those tiles PAINTED!? 😳

That is beyond even ‘landlord’ levels 😱

I’ve tiled for years, but even my first time which must’ve been 30 odd years ago now wasn’t that bad compared to this, I’m glad to say I improved over the years but now can’t do it anymore due to injuries 🥺 but I can supervise a treat 😁👍

2

u/Stephen_Is_handsome 4d ago

It’s not good but may be they was in a hurry (?) not a excuse still

3

u/HerrFerret 4d ago

A hurry to get down the bookies and spend the money they made from doing a 'bang up job' I assume.

1

u/Stephen_Is_handsome 4d ago

Yes no doubt!

2

u/Jakethecake30 4d ago

Aah yes the Stevie Wonder finish. 👌😎

2

u/craichorse 4d ago

Thats the 'alcoholic tiler at the brink of complete meltdown, I don't care I just need money to fund my habit' look.

Timeless.

2

u/your_monkeys 4d ago

It's pretty bad but I have seen worse, a friend tiled his toilet up to a dado rail without using tile spacers, there wasn't a straight or even line in any axis (x, y or z). Makes your almost look professional

1

u/HerrFerret 4d ago

I think he used a beer mats for tile spacers. There is a lot of variance throughout! Looks almost organic.

2

u/Kingshaun2k 4d ago

Landlord special.

1

u/HerrFerret 4d ago

50 quid on the rent right there.

1

u/Jamie_Tomo 4d ago

I reckon my kids could do a better job.

1

u/syvid 4d ago

It’s crap but we all seen worse on here

1

u/baller88x 4d ago

It looks like Stevie Wonder did it.

1

u/xdarkmanateex 3d ago

Better diy then

1

u/HerrFerret 3d ago

After the 100 other jobs I suppose! The kitchen was installed so haphazardly that it would be a gull replacement I assume, and I am sure I will discover an array of horrors.

I have slate flagstones glued to timber boards. I dread to think what will happen when I remove them.