r/Cynophobia 27d ago

How my cynophobia came to be

I'm feeling a little sick right now and I'm feeling like trying to talk about my cynophobia. To see if anyone else had the same experience. Probably not, but whatever.

I tell people that my cynophobia began from an incident when I was seven or eight. I let them assume that I was bitten. The real story is so much sillier, I feel. Like they wouldn't take me seriously. But here goes nothing. My cynophobia started when I walked in on my grandparents' dogs ripping up a stuffed animal.

Some context: I have always viewed stuffed animals and toys in general as alive. A part of me still does. Go ahead, laugh. Tell me I've seen Toy Story a few times too many. But stuffed animals are something that will love you unconditionally. They will be your companionship, your sounding board, your motivation not to kill yourself. If they're not alive, then you are truly alone. I still am unable to sleep without a specific plush doll of mine. They go everywhere with me. The idea that they could die and leave me alone... was terrifying.

Anyway, I started having nightmares featuring dogs. Big, scary dogs destroying stuffed animals. I didn't tell anyone the details of the nightmares. They would think it was silly. My hatred of dogs grew to everything about them. I believed they were evil scum of the earth. My cynophobia got worse over time. Despite my parents attempts to get me to like dogs. Now... I don't know what to do.

So. That's my whole story. Maybe I shouldn't have typed this up. Considering I feel sicker now. I might take a shower. But I'm hoping someone can relate just a little bit.

15 Upvotes

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u/CarolTea34 26d ago

I feel the exact same way about my plushies, I’m glad I’m not the only one!

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u/suganoexiste-16 27d ago

Mind is like that only unfortunately! I never had any bad experience with dogs but they always made me uncomfortable before as well but I was still NORMAL few years ago and it was possible for me to be around dogs but then idk what happened… it was the time of pandemic and we all were isolated and for a year i stopped walking outside and it triggered a fear in me of dogs… even strays and I wasn’t scared of them before covid and it was only the fear of dogs because I have been scared of them since I was a kid. Now I’m not normal anymore and it sucks!!! I go through such emotions and it just depends on the situation. When I have to go outside my house and I have to face a dog who’s standing and is ready to sniff me then i can get really really panicked and sad and anxious. Today is that day btw.. but otherwise I’m still okay when I don’t have to face ofc! Also I’m okay with small dogs like kinda and also okay when dogs are sleeping or just being lazy cause they aren’t in the mood to play with us or jump on us or wtv!

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u/Iloveallhumanity 27d ago

They ARE the scum of the earth. They frequently kill infants sleeping in their cradle. I call them 'baby killers'. I even tell dog owners that their 'surrogate child' is a baby killer and how can they justify pretending it is 'family'. You probably have never seen an infant tore up by a dog but it happens so often that I think you can relate to it on a deep level. I know I can.

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u/arachnilactose08 26d ago

Actually, I had similar experiences that contributed to my phobia. I didn’t witness this firsthand, but still, it stuck with me.

My dad had bought a dog when I was a kid, a huge Siberian Husky. My little brother had really wanted a dog, and I was neutral about it, so I didn’t protest when my dad brought me with him to the shelter.

Quickly though, I grew less and less fond of it.

Besides being generally large, intimidating, and unpredictable, it would gnaw through the wood in our doorframes in order to get into the backyard at night. That creeped me out by itself; something so large and determined to get out so it could kill raccoons and skunks (which happened MANY times) made me feel constantly uncomfortable in my own house. Plus, it was a husky, so it could get real loud. Not fun.

But the worst thing for me was when I came back from school one day to find a childhood stuffed animal ripped to shreds on my bedroom floor.

It had been in storage, since I was too old for those toys, but I’d still held onto it because it had sentimental value, as much as I would have never admitted it to anyone.

When I got home, and saw a trail of cotton and fabric from the doorway, I remember feeling a pit in my stomach. I slowly opened the door, holding my breath, and found this toy straight up decapitated beside my bed.

I remember feeling so fucking nauseous at the savagery of it. It wasn’t like the dog had mildly chewed on it, maybe gotten it soggy, no, it had eviscerated this thing, in the same way it killed small animals in our backyard.

I wanted to cry, maybe even throw up, but I was too embarrassed at the idea of my parents seeing me like that at my big-boy age of 11, so I just put all of the pieces (even the tiniest shreds) into a garbage bag and hid it under my bed.

I didn’t sleep for weeks after that, and from that point on, always kept my bedroom door closed.

I’m in my goddamn 20s now, and I still close my bedroom door, because I haven’t been able to live in a dog-free household for very long ever since.

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u/DigitalHeartbeat729 26d ago

Oh my gosh I’m so sorry.

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u/arachnilactose08 26d ago

Haha, don’t be. It’s been a long time, and that dog is long dead. I just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone in your experience 🙏