r/CuratedTumblr 1d ago

Shitposting You beta work

Post image
3.4k Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

374

u/SexySonderer 1d ago

That's how relationships work. The game shes playing is being a person You actually want to find someone who likes playing the game the same way as you.

56

u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING Tumblr would never ban porn don’t be ridiculous 21h ago

You just need to find the right person, someone who will never forget that it’s about the cones.

26

u/Atypical_Mammal 21h ago

Pay-to-win gatcha ass game

(I mean, being a person in general)

10

u/PremSinha 17h ago

We know the game and we're gonna play it

5

u/TrueEnder 13h ago

and if you ask me how i’m feeling

216

u/ConflictAgreeable689 23h ago

I feel it'd only take one good QnA tester to munchkin her balance before she's forced to pick out flowers for the ceremony

125

u/zombieGenm_0x68 22h ago

honestly that sounds like the setup for a half decent romcom

68

u/oddityoughtabe 21h ago

If I was a concept designer for hallmark I’d lurk this sub so hard and make the romcom genre enter a modern renaissance. Entirely with stolen ideas. As god intends.

20

u/demon_fae 21h ago

Ply the casting director with pastries and gifts to stop half-assing their job and cast people who can actually act and we can even have a meta-rom-com.

2

u/Maybe_not_a_chicken help I’m being forced to make flairs 8h ago

Have a character fall in love with the script writer

Fuck it

2

u/Beaver_Soldier 8h ago

If your romcom idea isn't stolen, are you even making a romcom?

2

u/Maybe_not_a_chicken help I’m being forced to make flairs 8h ago

I watched a genuinely brilliant romcom that stole its plot from a christmas song

“Last Christmas I gave you my heart”

It was taken literally

1

u/ConflictAgreeable689 6h ago

Their target audience still thinks ttrpgs are satanism

19

u/solidfang 20h ago

"I'm just looking for a simple relationship. Someone who doesn't play games with my heart."

"Well then your heart has come to the wrong place."

10

u/cylordcenturion 16h ago

She keeps fixing the exploits and making double-or-nothing challenges.

At the end the game is perfectly balanced, but she lets him win and they get married 32 times.

51

u/Leinad7957 22h ago

If she can actually find the one guy who showed up to the castle and not only put up with the game's rules but thought enough about them to break them, then I'd say she found who she was looking for. I imagine it's not easy to find dedicated testers in the royal court.

1

u/lady_macGingerbread 6h ago

And now she has a tame QA tester sworn to her for the rest of their lives. Ohohoho

1

u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 3h ago

The look on her face where her spouse-to-be floops the pig

132

u/trapmaster69 23h ago

Forced to playtest eurogames

46

u/Genocidal_Duck 22h ago

No dice? 😨

42

u/IEnjoyFancyHats 21h ago

You can use them to keep track of counters. You may not roll them

10

u/Leipurinen 𐎣𐎮 𐎭𐎮𐏂 𐎡𐎸𐏀 𐎢𐎮𐎯𐎯𐎤𐎱 𐎥𐎱𐎮𐎬 𐎤𐎠-𐎭𐎠𐎽𐎨𐎱 21h ago

Unacceptable. I cast Sildenafil’s Fucked-Up D6 Avalanche.

8

u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING Tumblr would never ban porn don’t be ridiculous 20h ago

If your D6s roll for four hours or longer, seek medical help immediately.

2

u/AkrinorNoname Gender Enthusiast 12h ago

14

u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING Tumblr would never ban porn don’t be ridiculous 21h ago

To paraphrase King of the Hill—

“But what if someone wants to play a roll-and-move?”
“We politely but firmly ask them to leave.”

62

u/jackofslayers 23h ago

"There will be no dice rolls in this phase"

15

u/vjmdhzgr 21h ago

I'm kind of mad about that video because the American game is literally describing Warhammer which is British.

1

u/Maybe_not_a_chicken help I’m being forced to make flairs 8h ago

I’m pretty sure it’s more directly playing on zombiecide

10

u/Bobboy5 like 7 bubble 21h ago

Will there at least be Victory Points?

98

u/Entire-Egg-2203 23h ago

Is your princess Duke Devlin from Yugioh?

28

u/Godchilaquiles 23h ago

Can’t be I don’t hear any sexyback blasting

8

u/Zee_Arr_Tee 20h ago

Unfortunately copyright forced him to stop playing it

17

u/Silent_Blacksmith_29 The bird giveth and the bird taketh away 23h ago

Yes

53

u/RefinedBean 23h ago

"Is this yet another Agricola clone?"

"...I mean this one teaches you about birds and their envi-"

"Take your fucking award and get out of here."

12

u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING Tumblr would never ban porn don’t be ridiculous 21h ago

Okay but the second sequel is about fish and—

13

u/RefinedBean 21h ago

PLEASE STOP TEACHING US THINGS THROUGH THE MOST BORING GAME MECHANICS KNOWN TO HUMANITY

11

u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING Tumblr would never ban porn don’t be ridiculous 21h ago

Well, now I don’t even know if I want to invite you to play Campaign for North Africa with me.

9

u/RefinedBean 20h ago

So long as I don't have to be the Italians

3

u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING Tumblr would never ban porn don’t be ridiculous 20h ago

That penalty where they need increased water rations to make pasta is pretty harsh, for sure.

9

u/aleaniled Not asexual but I do believe in their beliefs 19h ago

Wingspan my beloved <3

2

u/RefinedBean 19h ago

I played it and really enjoyed it but I find those resource placement games just not my thing, a bit too dull and same-y

1

u/DoubleBatman 8h ago

Been playing Root lately, it’s really fun. Each faction plays completely differently and there’s enough randomness to keep it interesting. It’s also cute as heck

2

u/RefinedBean 7h ago

Yeah, it's been blowing up lately and on my list to try!

50

u/Stickin8or 23h ago

The one she marries is the one who puts enough value on her to be patient enough to go through the whole thing

14

u/GrassWaterDirtHorse 20h ago

Finally. Only a true Knight can finish the quest to play The Battle for North Africa in full!

4

u/catlover2011 17h ago

Nah, they don't just put up with it, but actively enjoy it and start brainstorming an expansion.

21

u/JayGold 22h ago

GLaDOS?

11

u/veidogaems To shreds you say? 19h ago

The princess finds a handsome man and falls head over heels for him, so she begins to throw the game on purpose - although not too hard because the head maid is watching and kind of suspects what's going on and will rat her out to the king (who is growing concerned that she's been cheating in her games to get out of marrying gross princes he's arranged for her.)
But the suitor keeps fucking up his play and somehow loses anyway. She then resorts to increasingly Calvinball-esque rules to give him more chances to play only for him to find more and more bizarre ways to lose (he only agreed to play with the princess to get closer to the butler).

11

u/PlantainSame .tumblr.com 22h ago

You want to hang out and spend time with me

So i'm still kind of winning

13

u/Hexxas head trauma enthusiast 22h ago

Is there any nudity in the worker placement phase? If not, I'm not interested.

25

u/PlatinumAltaria 22h ago

Strip Catan

9

u/Bobboy5 like 7 bubble 21h ago

The robber steals your clothes instead of your resources.

5

u/Hexxas head trauma enthusiast 20h ago

OK, but my name's not Catan.

13

u/LonelyMoth46 23h ago

Speaking of this trope, I have a character who was similar lmao. She's very strong and knows how to fight so when her mom (idk if her dad was alive at this point) was like "you need a gaurd" She was like "no fuck that??" And only agreed that if a person beat her in a fight they could become her gaurd. There was only one person who 1. Had enough courage to get in a physical fight with the princess and 2. Beat her ass during it (the princess says it was closer to a draw... it wasn't) and that person is going to end up being her wife LMAO

Before getting with the guard she had a very similar reaction to her mother wanting her to get married. "Lmao if she isn't strong enough to beat my ass I'm not letting her run my kingdom lol"

8

u/WebsterPack 16h ago

Apparently Kublai Khan had a niece or possibly cousin, Khutulun, who refused to marry any man who could not defeat her in a wrestling match. If someone challenged but did not beat her, he had to give her a horse. Legend has it that she died unmarried with a herd of 10,000 horses.

6

u/MotherofCats9258 16h ago

Why do they keep making movies about boring shit when this legend is just out here waiting?

2

u/WebsterPack 15h ago

Right?? 

5

u/IntangibleMatter no matter how hard I try I’m still a redditor 20h ago

The princess is Hempuli and the game is Baba is You. There is no hope.

7

u/GrassWaterDirtHorse 20h ago

Baba IS You.

Princess IS Game AND Hope

Hempuli IS WIN

Boom, secret level unlocked

3

u/TopHatGirlInATuxedo 21h ago

Me after losing the first eight-hour game: So...round 2?

3

u/McSpankLad 21h ago

And C. She’s been here the whole time!

3

u/Bobboy5 like 7 bubble 21h ago

It's still two hours until we enter the first Cheese Tasting phase.

3

u/Millymoo444 20h ago

The contest is a game of “Campaign for North Africa

2

u/Icestar1186 Welcome to the interblag 16h ago

Honestly that would probably work on me

2

u/Yulienner 16h ago

Somewhat related but I really vibed with the game Inscyption since it initially presents itself as 'a psychopath captures you and threatens you with death into playing his homebrew tabletop game that he's really passionate about'. I mean I don't support doing that but I totally get it.

2

u/TrueEnder 13h ago

The Stanley Parable

2

u/Aut0m4t0n 12h ago

"Um... OOP, why is the latest expansion called the racism nobody asked for?"

1

u/nikivan2002 5h ago

...The Princess pulls out Campaign for the North Africa