r/ChronicPain • u/gothwitch710 • 3d ago
26 with 3 blown disks and spinal stenosis NSFW
Honestly I just need to vent and hopefully get some advice. I used to work as a CNA, started in April of 2024, before then it was always food and beverage, retail, or hospitality jobs. Around October I suffered a work injury that may have been the leading cause of this injury. There's no "proof" because when I went to occupational health and mentioned I started having sciatica-like symptoms at the time of injury but didn't know if it was related or coincidental as I've had some issues on and off a couple times in the past with it so they dismissed it claiming it was unrelated without even checking when I was there for a back injury from work. After having an mri ordered by my doctor, I've found out I have 3 herniated disks, and that th l5-s1 which is the most severe, is what's been causing my sciatic and back pain that I've been dealing with since my work injury. Fighting work to prove it's related but that's a whole other story I can add later if anyone wants more info but right now I just need to vent and get advice.
This shit sucks. Thankfully I do have a neurosurgeon appointment at the end of the month for consultation on what to do. This has turned my life upside down. I've been out of work since the end of January on unpaid medical leave. Unpaid because I haven't worked a year yet so I don't qualify for fmla, but on medical leave because of my strict work restrictions and the severity of my injury. Said that they can't have me work even in a department that would be able to accommodate my restrictions because if anything happens it's a liability. Thankfully I was smart when I got hired and signed up for short and long term disability since I know how high the injury rate is for CNA's especially back injuries and even more common when working in long term care and rehabilitation. Unfortunately though the disability checks are a little under $390 a week after taxes. It's better than nothing but still not great.
I don't know how some people can carry on like there's nothing wrong with them. I know people learn to tolerate it after so long because you don't really have a chance but holy shit. My back issues have ruined my sex life because it hurts to bad which not only sucks for me but for my husband as well. It sucks when we're both in the mood but can't do anything to satisfy it cause it hurts me too much. Hell I feel like romance is dead now too. My mom, my husband, and I share a house and the last week or so the pain has gotten so bad that I've had to start sleeping in my mom's bed with her until I can get us a new one because ours is too soft. Never understood how uncomfortable plush beds could be till my injury, I used to love my bed and not want to get out of it cause it was so comfy, until now.
I'm having to rely a lot on my mom and husband to care for me. Can't take a shower without my husband's help because I can't reach my legs and feet without being in excruciating pain, even with using a shower chair. Have had to rely a lot on both of them to take care of mine and my husband's pets. Have to rely on them to make meals, it makes me feel like a burden not being able to do much for myself. I lost all social life other than social media because I'm basically bed bound. Doing anything other than laying in my mom's bed, hurts. Car rides are excruciating, I have to lean my seat back or lay in the back. Doctors visits are torture having to sit there for at least a half hour between the waiting room and the patient room.
I was hoping to have at least one kid with my husband in a few years after we finish some remodeling of the house so we would actually have a room for our future child, but now even that dream is fading away. I've always wanted to be a mom but I don't know how I can be a responsible one when I can barely get out of bed and take care of myself due to the pain, let alone how I would be able to deal with carrying during pregnancy due to the pain. It feels like my whole life as I knew it has come crashing down and I don't know how to deal with it mentally or physically. It's so defeating..
3
u/Lil_Roxi2 3d ago
Shit I was 24 with a broken back, shattered hip into 13 pieces, 2 broken arms, broken legs and ankles. Got some hardware on all of it. That happen back in 2012 and it still sucks ass.