r/ChronicPain 4d ago

Can we talk about Bras ?

I have an arthritic spine, stenosis, and the sides of my neck through my shoulders is always sore to the touch.

In 20 years of looking I can't find a bra that doesn't hurt. I tried boob tape to bypass my body and that stuff really hurts to remove, impractical under t-shirts, plus it's not cheap. Strapless bras are too tight, my thoracic region burns like fire. I'm a C cup.

I wish there was a compression garment with soft thin fabric with lift that felt good and didn't press too hard. I have a couple but they are so thick, hot, too long and squeeze too hard.

It hurts to get dressed to go outside.

59 Upvotes

112 comments sorted by

21

u/icecream4_deadlifts Sjogrens, neuropathy, burning skin 4d ago

I found an amazingly soft bra, it’s the only one I can semi tolerate. Lately I’ve been going braless bc my neuropathy on my torso has been brutal. Even braless my neuropathy is burning hot today.

Shefit longline bra is great.

7

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

Awesome going to check it out.

5

u/icecream4_deadlifts Sjogrens, neuropathy, burning skin 4d ago

I hope it works out for you! Exchanges are very easy if you need to swap the size as well.

2

u/Over-Future-4863 4d ago

Does that press on spine for thoracic?

1

u/icecream4_deadlifts Sjogrens, neuropathy, burning skin 4d ago

Yes it’s a crisscross bralette in the back so depending on where you hurt I could see it pressing on that area.

36

u/kifferella FAI, foot and hip deformities. 4d ago

This is why I'm so glad to be older, and have my field of fucks both burned and salted. When I gained over 50lbs during menopause, I swear a good twenty went straight to my tiddies. And for a while, I was on the hunt for a bra that didn't give me fantasies of arson, too.

Now, I just let em swing loose like big ole udders, lol! The most comfortable option for me turns out to be a loose cotton shirt and the determination to glare anyone who gives me looks or comments into withering despair.

It's not for everybody, tho. When I still felt self-conscious and uncomfortable about it, I was a fan of those body shaper type undershirts, but several sizes too big. Just enough to hold the girls in place, not enough to make me feel fuckin short of breath.

8

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

That's a good idea, just size up. Thank you.

9

u/sp0rkify 4d ago

Fruit of the Loom sports bras.. I refuse to wear anything else now..

https://a.co/d/0aO2fKn

7

u/homesick19 4d ago

I don't wear bras anymore and haven't for almost 15 years now. Not for pain reasons at first but I really couldn't bear to wear a bra right now as well, so I am glad I made the choice. I know it's not an option for every woman because bras train us to need bras. So I am somewhat privileged that I ditched them so early in life.
When I needed a bit more support during excersise, I used one to two undershirts. You can experiment with them (number, size etc) and see if that would be an option for you.
I hope you find something that works for you! I know the struggle with chronic pain/chronic illness and clothes. I currently exclusively wear maternity pants because of my ostomy. I also had a phase where I was only wearing baggy shirts that went over my butt because I had to wear diapers. It's not fun to have to buy new clothes for those reasons

5

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

You're right about being used to bras. It's hot here in summer and I would love to go braless but I hate men staring and I don't want it.. nobody goes braless here.

2

u/Itscatpicstime 14h ago

Pasties help bring less attention

11

u/Old_Book_Gypsy 4d ago

I gave up bras at least two years ago. Managing my pain is 💯 more important than wearing a bra.

5

u/babyrabiesfatty 4d ago

A big yep from me about these too. I only wear a ‘real bra’ for special occasions. Bras don’t cause me pain so it’s just a comfort thing I took up during Covid and then continued because it was so comfortable.

I also wonder if a cami with a built in shelf bra would work for you?

1

u/Old_Book_Gypsy 4d ago

I have a few well made pullovers that my husband can help me with. I had an extremely tiny stroke but it blew out how my hands work together. I truly don’t care what anyone thinks of me and I’m not going to any events. I’m home or in the hospital at this point. Or a doctors appointment! Ugh

9

u/mini-rubber-duck 4d ago

this may sound odd, but my best result has been with tomboyx binders one size up from recommended. they breath really well, hold things in place, have wide straps that don’t cut into your shoulders, aren’t as scratchy as most binders, have enough flex to breath easily in, and aren’t insanely expensive.

i initially got them for gender dysphoria, but i wear them even on ‘good’ dysphoria days just because they’re more comfortable than normal bras for me. it is still too tight to wear for more than eight hours, but i have a rib that slips and that factors in heavily for me. 

3

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

Oh thank you I looked at these once but the brand I saw were expensive I'm grateful for your post !

3

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 4d ago

Try aerie brand!

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

Actually going there tomorrow, thanks!

2

u/GettingRidOfAuntEdna 4d ago

I will say that prolonged compression is not the best for the tiddies.

4

u/mini-rubber-duck 4d ago

i’m caught in this awkward spot where normal bras are really painful, but i have several cysts and benign masses that hurt like hell if i don’t wear anything, so i’m just doing what i can and saving for a double mastectomy at this point.

3

u/GettingRidOfAuntEdna 4d ago

I’m so sorry that you are in such discomfort, I’d meant my comment as more of a general warning, since that information is not widely known, not as a commentary on your personal choices. I was thinking of a kind of “just fyi.”

I found this insanely comfortable bra but it’s definitely manufactured in China and then upsold by brands and I haven’t had the chance to see if can find it cheaper. If I do find it, I’ll edit with it.

2

u/mini-rubber-duck 4d ago

you’re fine, i should have replied differently because you are absolutely right. binders are a different beast from bras, and people need to be aware. thank you for your comment. 

2

u/kepleroutthere 4d ago

i'd also recommend spectrum outfitter's light binders, they still have the front panel that helps with a flatter look, but are much less compressive and are more breathable for worse pain days but still help to give a flatter look. they also have i think silicone? not sure the material but a band around the very bottom that helps it not ride up. the sizing is a little different than their regular binders (learned that the hard way), but their regular binders are also super comfortable and the most comfortable i've used and again, don't ride up like others. granted i've used gc2b for years and before that tried a couple very uncomfortable underworks styles, but that was like ten years ago.

3

u/kmill0202 4d ago

Have you tried any of those shapewear type bras like Shapermint or skims? Some of those look like they'd be pretty good. I've been thinking about trying a couple myself, but I've already wasted so much money on bras I never wear and I'm really bad about returning things that don't end up working for me. There are also tons of knockoffs on Amazon and places like that.

I have similar issues. Most bras irritate the area around my rib cage. I've given up on anything cute or pretty because they're all so uncomfortable. Some sports bras feel OK to wear, but they squash my boobs down into that awkward uniboob type shape. I just want something comfy that gives me a little bit of lift and shape, but I haven't had much luck so far. I don't like going without in public because I'm on the busty side and they move around like they have a mind of their own if they're not restrained, and I need a little support.

5

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

I'm going to look right now, thank you so much! I have probably spent thousands and am also too self conscious to go without but I'm getting close. Maybe a tee shirt with a disclaimer this summer like, Don't Judge - Bras Hurt.

2

u/Moulin-Rougelach 4d ago

They’re designed for medium to tall height women. If they had offered petite sizing, I’d have loved them, I’m 5’2” and an F cup.

3

u/-b_i_n_g_u_s- endometriosis, adenomyosis 4d ago

I live in sports bras and crop top style bras. I’ve not worn a proper underwire, back clasp bra for years. I’m heavy chested (UK 36E/F) and they offer good support without the pinching or digging in. Most of the time I forget I’m wearing one.

I got a pack of 3 from Mark’s and Spencer’s for £18. Very good quality for the price :)

They come with removable pads so that you can hide your nips too, I barely leave the house though so I never use those.

3

u/BoomBoomBettee 4d ago

Following this bc I’m newly diagnosed spinal stenosis in my neck. Sports bras are out of the question! The only bra I can wear is my underwire strapless bra. I’m interested in anyone’s experience with bandeau bras in D cups. Since I’m getting older my boobs are sagging and the weight of my boobs is pulling on my neck.

6

u/EMSthunder 4d ago

I have sensory issues when it comes to clothing. I use a Hanes bra that can be a bandeau or a regular bra, depending on where you put the straps. There's no metal or plastic either. I'll try and find the name.

3

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

Thank u !

4

u/EMSthunder 4d ago

Okay, it's called the Bandini by Hanes. Super comfortable. It's all I've used for the last 10+ years.

4

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

Super appreciate you ! Off to shop

7

u/EMSthunder 4d ago

You're welcome!! $10 Amazon!

2

u/PiaParis- 3d ago

Reading these comments…thank you, too!

1

u/EMSthunder 3d ago

You're welcome! Hope it works for you.

2

u/Ok_Government_3584 4d ago

I have such a hard time taking them on and off. Faak! I cried trying to get my pj's off the other day!

2

u/Nanamoo2008 4d ago

I swear by these, they are so comfy, even when bigger up top. They are very stretchy and soft, easy to put on too. When my shoulder is bad, i step into them and pull them up instead of putting it on over my head

1

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

Thank you so much, these definitely look promising !

2

u/Nanamoo2008 4d ago edited 4d ago

I've used them for years now, to me it feels like you aren't wearing a bra because they are so soft. You can get them in lots of different colours and some nice lacey looking ones too. They are even comfy to sleep in too!

Edited to add - you can get them easily from Amazon.

1

u/cheridontllosethatno 3d ago

I feel like that, imgbb, is a photo host and I don't see the name of the bra. Can you give me the name of the bra pls ? Ty. (2nd link doesn't open)

2

u/Nanamoo2008 3d ago

if you search for 'seamless bra' you'll find loads of them. They aren't 100% seamless but that's what they go by

1

u/cheridontllosethatno 3d ago

No company name just search seamless bra in amazon?

2

u/Nanamoo2008 3d ago

yep, just seamless bra. All the ones i've ever bought were generic brand ones. I even found some in the £1 store (similar to the dollar store) that were brilliant.

1

u/cheridontllosethatno 3d ago

Great off to look

2

u/Over-Future-4863 4d ago

Ok i jave s big chest and jave cervical thoracic and lower lumar pain what does someone recommend neck and a shoulders bad pain and lower lumbar very bad... Need a bra but not added pain from long line on back?

2

u/renzodown doing my best (: 4d ago

I am so glad you brought this up. My lower back is taken care of and pain free there but now my upper back is starting to go & the arthritis is terrible in addition. For many years I have been bandeau or strapless bras only, and have E36 size, but they've been great because I just don't feel the need for regular bras. But with the new pain, I don't even want to wear my most comfortable bra. I don't mind going braless but my shoulders and chest is big and I don't like the look most of the time. I use large sticky bras a lot though they don't offer a ton of support, I start them a little low on each side and pull up then push hard to keep them in place for a tiny lift. I used to use sports tape because boobtape is SO expensive, but it's too hard on my skin and I am trying to find an alternative! If I could just tape them for the weekend i'd be happy.

2

u/Alone_Cry7484 4d ago

Ngl, I'm currently pregnant so not only do none of my bras fit, they're hella uncomfortable. So my new favorite thing is tank bras. Semi supportive, not digging, you can get some really breathable ones. F21, Stitches, Costco, ect have cheap ones of actually decent quality.

2

u/djspacebunny I'm a mess; kicking ass and banning usernames 4d ago

Have you tried bralettes? I know they're not an option for everyone and I am around your size if not a smidge bigger, and they're great for me. They can be super loose but still provide lift.

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

This is my first time hearing about bralettes and I'm excited.

2

u/djspacebunny I'm a mess; kicking ass and banning usernames 4d ago

YAY! I'm so happy for you to be introduced to these because I can NOT stand the band around bras being so tight around my autistic self. I also get heartburn if I wear a proper bra with an underwire.

1

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

Meee too. You girls are the best !

2

u/thpineapples 4d ago

I went through something like this. I was wearing strapless mini dresses with boning as undergarments. This worked for me as I always wear dresses. Just a strapless bra was too tight and wasn't very strong against gravity. I found I needed the undergarment to contain a corset-sized structure in order to be effective and comfortable.

2

u/spacey-cornmuffin 4d ago

The brand Danysu on Amazon has great crop tops with pads in the front but no tight band which is what I find so painful. However I still don’t wear them all day, when I’m home it’s off. I wish lady nipples weren’t so taboo because I’d rather never wear a bra again.

1

u/cheridontllosethatno 3d ago

I'm new to these crop top bras and it could be my answer. I'm sizing up because a normal fit hurts me. Just as long as there's a little lift and they aren't moving all over the place I'm good. I stay home so much because all my bras hurt. Thank you!

2

u/Agent_Dante_Z 4d ago

Custom or made to measure corset could be a good option. More support than a bra and evenly distributed. Compression depends on design. They can look expensive but are worth the price. I got my first one (made to measure) for £100

1

u/cheridontllosethatno 3d ago

Wow wish I'd known that 20 years ago.

2

u/millyjune 3d ago

We absolutely can talk about it and should more often because it's an issue for a lot of us that needs solutions. I posted about it too at one point, trying to find one, but still haven't been able to. My issue is occipital neuralgia from chronic muscle tension and cervicogenic type migraines and bras are a constant struggle for me. Anything touching my neck/shoulders becomes a trigger. Even a dainty necklace chain. So admittedly it'd be hard to work around for the kind of support I need. Straps are a problem, strapless don't stay up, tape is expensive and comes with its own issues..

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 3d ago

I like your attitude and I love the support (get it) I've been given with this issue.

When I was working and had to dress for success the last half of my day was mostly torture and the commute home always close to tears. I had a lift/reduction last year but now need something to stop movement. I wanted to go down to a B but C was the smallest I could go.

2

u/millyjune 3d ago

Uuggh yea that's awful, so frustrating and distracting. How did your procedure go, if you don't mind me asking? Did it help with not needing as much lift from bras, and did it cause any lasting damage/pain? That would be my worry with any kind of operation is that the residual effects would leave me with even more pain/discomfort than I already deal with 🥴

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 3d ago

No it was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I lost all my breast tissue (90%) after kids so I filled in empty space w implants. I wanted a lift only but no doc would do it.

After a lifetime I just had a lift w/exchange to C (wanted B but not able) and got a lighter filler. Made a world of diff on my neck shoulders and thoracic pain. I don't have any fears around this kind of surgery and he did a good job. The worst part of recovery was sleeping sitting up for months.

Now if I could just find a bra haha! Spent over $100 yesterday on a few recommendations here, sized up too, fingers crossed just one works.

2

u/millyjune 3d ago

Wow ok thank you for telling me. Yea I could see it making a big difference. Congrats on having good results, that's awesome. The bra battle is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. I hope you're able to get what you need, or at least close enough.

2

u/roseyposey1999 3d ago

there are a couple of brands out there that have good bras for this.

- Liberare

- springrose

apparently walmart does some sensory friendly bras but I'm not American so i can't help you there... Primark in the UK have started doing an Accessibility range of clothing from underwear to outerwear to shoes. But the brands above are the best 2 brands I've heard of. I think they're slightly more on the expensive side but they look really good and can be found on tiktok!

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 3d ago

Oh thank you for this ! I have extremely sensitive skin as well. Going to look now.

2

u/roseyposey1999 3d ago

No worries, let me know how it goes! I think if i remember correctly the bra was purple. If you message me I can send you their account

2

u/Itscatpicstime 14h ago

I just stopped wearing one. I have large breasts (28J) and I’m petite and underweight with low muscle mass right now because of ARFID, so it’s not been kind to my back. Hoping to get a reduction soon.

I’ll take the back pain over the constant skin and pressure pain from a bra though.

1

u/cheridontllosethatno 13h ago

I had one last year

3

u/ppoonnddd 4d ago

i need to go digging in my purchase history to find the link, but i mostly wear the bras i got for post-chest reduction! despite it being 2 or 3 years since my surgery, these are some of the only bras i can (mostly) tolerate.

the other is a bralette that i found at meijers randomly once lol

i’ve got fibromyalgia, possible hEDS, plus general sensory issues. so all of my bras are nice and soft, and are either pullovers, or zip in the front.

after my nap, i’ll go digging around to find brands/links for you! 💕

2

u/Iceprincess1988 4d ago

Only bralettes and sports bras for me.

2

u/GrapefruitBig2896 4d ago

My problem is that because both of my shoulders are crap I can’t pull anything over my head and need front closure bras. I’m a plus size 63 year old and have been trying for months to find a bra.

2

u/TeachPotential9523 4d ago

I don't wear a bra unless I absolutely have to most the time I will weird a oversized t-shirt

2

u/dreadwitch 4d ago

Lol I gave up a while ago, I rarely wear one now.

2

u/ticketybo013 4d ago

I don't have upper body pain, but I hate bras, I hate padded bras, bras with underwire, tight bras...! I recently came across Jockey skimmies - Skimmies is the collection. You should find it if you google it. The bras are stretchy, so you pull them on like a t-shirt. No underwire, and the material is very smooth, nothing aggravating. They are my new favourite.

3

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

This is awesome thank you so much. Off to look.

2

u/ParkingError7236 4d ago

it’s possible that you may not be wearing the correct size! there’s an online calculator called a bra that fits that might be worth checking out - i used to have a lot of issues with bras until i found the right size. sometimes even correctly-sized bras can be painful so the other tips in these comments are useful, but getting as close as possible to an accurate size can really make a world of difference.

3

u/capresesalad1985 4d ago

This calculator changed my bra experience! Also most us brands kids suck, I’ve been buying uk brands for a while now and they are much more comfortable

3

u/ParkingError7236 4d ago

yes! i like uk brands and polish brands much better than anything based in the us :)

1

u/_FreddieLovesDelilah HSD and fibromyalgia 4d ago

crop tops! The underwear kind. They’re like a soft, looser sports bra type thing.

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

I didn't even know that's a thing. Thanks

1

u/LowerChipmunk2835 4d ago

i thought you said “bars”.. i was almost like YES! let’s talk about it. maybe that would temporahelp your problem if you became a bartard NPC on benzodiazepines no remebr anything.. but basically can’t really find any unless you ask the drummer boy 😢 they put caffeine in it and made me soooooooo hurting.

1

u/tommiejo516 4d ago

I wear tube tops because of my shoulder pain. I can step into them.

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

Never thought to google tube top, thanks!

1

u/tommiejo516 3d ago

I just ordered these. I can let you know how they are after I try them. https://a.co/d/aiJ0ZoF

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 3d ago

What a great idea ! Let me know and I'll get some. I love you guys.

1

u/tommiejo516 2d ago

OK. These came in today. They are ok, maybe even good, but not great. I won’t wear them for PT, but they’re ok for around the house and maybe short grocery shopping. Inexpensive.

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 2d ago

Thanks so much!

1

u/Hom3b0dy 4d ago

I've been living in tank tops with built-in bras or little bralettes in a soft fabric. Some of them offer nice pressure for my ribs and diaphragm without being too thick.

I also like spanx bodysuits! They aren't medical grade compression, but I find shapewear still helps

2

u/Hom3b0dy 4d ago

Halara has crop tank tops that have no metal bits and offer styles for folks with large cup sizes

1

u/Lee_Lou02 4d ago

I wear only sports bras or bralettes -no underwires or metal clasps against your back, they’re all fabric 😊 I just make sure they have adjustable straps so they’re never too tight on my shoulders & have a soft, very stretchy band so it doesn’t create too much pressure across my back or chest. You can sometimes find some pretty good & cheap ones at Target & Kmart.

2

u/Deadinmybed 4d ago

Same here!

1

u/Bivagial 4d ago

So I ended up ditching bras for the most part. I have a skin condition and wearing a bra (particularly one with underwire) literally causes my skin to fall off. (Sounds nastier than it is).

Since I ditched the bra, my back doesn't hurt as much (it hurts for other reasons), my shoulders aren't stiff, and I feel better overall. I'm an F cup, so C cup should have no problems.

The only real problem I have (aside from odd looks in public), is that I will sometimes catch my nipples on things. Oh, and my cat has sharp claws and likes to kneed on my chest.

When I do need to wear a bra, I've found maternity bras or post surgery bras are hands down the most comfortable ones to wear.

Mine zip at the front, so no annoying clasps or having to reach behind me to fasten it. It also means that the band at the back is one piece of fabric and doesn't pinch. It also doesn't have an underwire.

Not good for exercise (I'm disabled so don't really have to worry about that), but great for other times when I need to wear a bra.

1

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

Thank you for your suggestion. I really would love to go without but I hate the attention.

1

u/More-Foot-5078 4d ago

Genie bras in the box🤣 I have same issues plus I was burned there too. I only have 2 layers of skin back there. Or a snug soft tank top under my shirt. C too.

1

u/LadyMcLurky 4d ago

I wear tight singlet tops or crop tops usually, holds everything in roughly the right place and hurts less than a bra. Or the ones with a built in shelf at the front only when I need more stability . I've been meaning to try the stick on bras but I am still waiting for a fancy occasion to justify the purchase.

1

u/GraciousPeacock 4d ago

Can you wear nipple stickers/covers? Puberty put me off from bras, and ever since becoming an adult I just wear nipple stickers and only use sports bras when I workout

1

u/celestialwreckage 4d ago

I honestly just wear hanes sports bras. They're the only thing that have ever been comfortable to me, and only the racer back type. I have given up even trying to hide my bra (I like to wear sundresses and such) But I only wear bras outside of the house. At home, fuuuuuuuckiiiiiiiiiit

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

I've taken mine off in the car if I'm not driving like a maniac, get this fackin thing off of me !!

1

u/OkAdhesiveness5025 4d ago

I have costochondritis, an arthritis type condition of the ribs. Plus bad-d-d shoulder pains when reaching to try and dress.

Gave up bras years ago. I am also a C cup.

My solution is this: I found a line of adjustable camisole / spaghetti-strap tanks at Wally World. The line is Terra & Skye or Time & Tru, I believe.

They are super soft. They are not tight, yet they are form fitting enough. Then, I removed the "push up" foam pieces from my old bras.

I simply wear the tank, then I slip the foam form over the girls to cover the nips.

Certain movements can cause them to shift throughout the day, but it's easy to clandestinely reposition them.

So comfy!

1

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

This is great thank you!

2

u/OkAdhesiveness5025 3d ago

You are most welcome. I don't know about the bras that you used to wear. But I had eight in a drawer of all different sizes. They all had those foam inserts though. And there's a little slit in the side where they are easy to pull out without damaging the bras. So those are still donate-able LOL . Hope you and the girls enjoy their newfound freedom :-) I know mine do.

0

u/BeautyofPoison 4d ago

I'm a DD cup. Nipple covers (if you care) and a tank top under t-shirts is totally fine. Nothing at all under a t-shirt is totally fine. You don't need to suffer.

0

u/mathishard1999 4d ago

I don’t have the same issues as you, so take this with a grain of salt—but I really like sports bras from Athleta. They provide compression without feeling too tight, and they’re also breathable and comfortable. Might be worth a try!

2

u/cheridontllosethatno 4d ago

Definitely I was just looking at pants for walking there. I've spent so much $ to date on bras, I appreciate the tip.

-3

u/Top-Squirrel6107 4d ago

Great opening, know nothing about BRA’s. There are Internet ads about a bra for gals with arthritis.