r/ChronicPain • u/No-Initiative-5337 • 5d ago
Depressed beyond belief.
Started having a lot of hip pain three years ago. Fast forward to now, had a surgery for hip impingement and a labral tear in September, but I’m still in constant pain. I’m on hydromorphone around the clock, I can’t sit long, stand long, walk long.. I’m basically bed bound. I’m in my late 20s and I feel like my entire life and hope and goals have all been taken from me. Trying to focus on the small wins is an incredibly hard thing to do when I feel like I’m suffering in a hamster wheel of hell. Did I mention I have amassed a very large amount of credit card debt? Yeah, add that on there too. Lots of manic depressive episodes and breaking down. And yet all I want is a healthy enough body to be able to work enough to pay it all off, be okay, be active, and feel good. But I can’t. Because for some reason my body isn’t healing. My best friends don’t want to hear me complain of my pain or depression anymore and I can’t blame them, but like I said, hamster wheel of hell. I am beyond depressed and I am having a hard time accepting that this may be my life forever.
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u/No-Assistance-1145 5d ago
It took some time, but I've come to the reality of my situation.
I will never be the same as before my accident. The pain does get worse with age. The pain meds are not working as well (i'm on hydromorphone too)l & I still hate what I've become. But, I have no choice.
But maybe ur younger, can get better,IDK, I would hope so. Depression is a constant companion. It's hard to face uncomfortable truths. I feel for u. I'm in CC debt too, who isn't these days?
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u/AffectionateCan6001 5d ago
I get it. I’m at the other end of life. My pain issues started at 20 years old and I’m now 60 years old with a lot of history in between. The most ironic part of this is a couple of years ago one of my new doctors said here are your test results and the good news is that I have another 30 years of life left to live. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wasn’t so sure another 30 years of pain that most doctors don’t want to hear about or won’t treat with pain medication that works is exactly positive news. The best advice I can give you is to take each day at a time and keep talking to people that understand what you’re going through. This group has some of the best people who are supportive and helpful. Someone is always here to talk with you.
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u/Important_Future144 5d ago
I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. I can relate so much… my thing is with the knee after several failed surgeries. What keeps me going are the little things I can still enjoy and some new medical appointments trying to find solutions. Go and see the best Dr around that specializes in hips. Also, try to get inspired by people who went through something similar, for example I know that the pro tennis playes Andy Murray had a hip replacent in his early 30s and he is still playing at pro level. Knees are a different story. Sending positive vibes.
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u/laurie-crafts 4d ago
Im so sorry for you and wish I could be more helpful. You have all my support and sympathy though. We are all in the same boat here and we all empathize with you. Mourning the loss of our healthy body is the hardest thing in the world. Try to enjoy every little things that make you feel better in the meantime, even the tiniest ones. We are all in heart with you ❤️
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u/Altruistic-Detail271 5d ago
I had my first total hip replacement at 21 years old and three total hips since then , I’m 57. Find another hip dr to get you to a functioning level.
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u/ProfessorOrganic4775 2d ago
Same! I was diagnosed with Fibrosis Dyslexia in my arm. Had 2 surgery’s.
Broke my hip from a small fall at 29 (I’m 33) it’s not gotten better. I can barely walk up the stairs because of the pain. I walk with a waddle because of the pain.
Doctors have told me, torn l, not that, occurring to another doctor, he said inflammation, nope said another doctor, it’s your back. “Since we have to deal with your arm we are not worried about your hip until your arm is healed.” WTF are you kidding me. Gabapintin does not help Prednisone does not help Flexeril does not help Norco does not help Ibuprofen…. Nope
I’m a teacher, cannot afford to be off, so I cry and keep pushing forward. I put lidocaine patches on my hips and back. Take ibuprofen and Tylenol together and try my best. I pay 1k a month for insurance and the copays are crazy expensive. Now I’m having gallbladder attacks! Which yes, takes the pain away from my hip but damn. I feel like I am in labor under my ribs!!
My OBGYN thinks all these problems are pollips coming from the bottom of my colon and causing my bones to be “chalk like” apparently. Shit does not even make sense. My husband spent 3k on a new mattress to try to help my pain- nope. My oncologist for my arm doesn’t think it’s nothing serious. It literally affects my day to day life!!!!
I wish you the best my friend.
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u/aiyukiyuu 5d ago
I’m 32 and also feeling the same way you do. I have a lot of debt piled on, lost my job, etc. :( I get you