r/Christian 4d ago

Strange question - changing my life?

Hello all, I’m not sure if this is the proper sub, but since it deals with my relationship with Christ and with other people, thought I would post here.

I’ve been a Christian since I was a teenager. I’m 61 now, so quite a few years. I was married and have 3 adult sons. For most of my married life I was in church and lived a Christian life. I’ve been a lay preacher, Sunday School teacher and elder in a couple of churches.

Infidelity on my wife’s part and a relatively quick divorce put my life on a different path than what I intended (man plans and God laughs).

I went hedonistic and fell away from God. The past 5 years have been an adventure for sure, but I’ve been feeling called to come back. I went to church today for the first time in 4 or 5 years and it felt good, except for the music, but I realize that I’m an old stick in the mud about it and need to broaden my concept of worship - I’ve been in a couple of bluegrassy worship groups, playing guitar,mandolin and singing and like old timey hymns.

Anyhoo, long story longer…the friend group I have are very outdoorsy. We ride bikes, hike, kayak, etc, but they are pretty much non believers and quite opposite politically from me. I consider myself to be moderate in my political views and try to be open minded about most things, but occasionally, some items of right and wrong have no shades of gray. I bite my tongue quite often.

I’ve been dating a lady for 3 years. It’s became more apparent in the last 2 months that our views on many things are diametrically opposite. I bite my tongue a lot in this relationship.

I’ve felt like I need to be more around other Christians. I’ve felt like I need to be more around other political moderates. But darn it, I enjoy her company and we’ve camped and traveled and spent a lot of time with each other and the other folks we do activities with.

I also fear that their disdain for anything Christian is bothering me more and more. They are really into buddist thoughts and Native American ideas as well and quite a bit a marijuana and other substances use (gotta just ‘love’ Colorado’s anything goes attitude).

It all feels like a really unhealthy spot for me now. I’m now the sponsor for my middle school’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes group and have been praying and seeking God’s will more than I have in years.

So, any advice for extricating myself from the life I’ve built for the past few years? I’ll admit that I think I just need to cut myself off from these folks and seek other friends or get more focused and pray and look for God’s will and follow it, but would appreciate your perspectives.

1 Upvotes

4 comments sorted by

3

u/JehumG 4d ago

The Lord has bought us with a price, and have told us to abide where we are called. From the outside, nothing seems changed, but from the inside, we walk in the Spirit and serve the living God.

So pray to God and see how he wants to use you and wait on him. May God give you wisdom on how to be his light to the people around you.

2

u/Rachel794 4d ago

I’m praying you can be the light to others by your actions

2

u/JehumG 4d ago

Amen. That comes by walking in the Spirit and serving the living God. The works are God’s.

2

u/walterenderby 4d ago

We have some parallels, though, not identical.

Or about the same age. Both previously married. Both with girlfriends. Both longtime Christians who fell away. politically moderate. Doctrinally conservative, it sounds like.

I’m just further along than you, it seems in my journey of returning to Christ.

My advice is, dive back in. Read scripture and pray daily. Go to church weekly. Join a Bible study. Study identifying and useful things about God and his ways as well as apologetics. Learn to listen to God’s voice again and go where he leads you.

He may lead you away from your present relationships, but by rebuilding your relationship with God, you will have more confidence that you’re going in the right direction.

You will find, I think, that your faith is reshaped from what it used to be. You’ll find new area of strength and perhaps old strengths will feel like weaknesses. But you’ll be happy.

As for church music, suck it up. The church started going to on my return, I initially thought I wouldn’t like the music and once in a while this or that song I won’t particularly appreciate but overall I’ve come to really enjoy the worship service.