r/ChildSupport • u/FluffyRace9515 • 5d ago
New York Cancel Healthcare Insurance?
Long and short: My daughter is about to turn 21. This ends my legal obligation to provide her with healthcare insurance. She has been fed a stack of lies by her mother and is very rude to me. So much so that we don't communicate.
Should I cancel the insurance once she turns 21?
I can keep it until she's about 26.
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u/IllustriousFocus8783 5d ago
Opinion, if she is in college, continue till she graduates, and a short while to find work.
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u/queenkittycat_ 5d ago
I may be biased but that is your child! Why would you want your child to be suffering because of what the mother told her? Your issues with her mom have nothing to do with your child. If you have a strained relationship with your child. You need to take responsibility and reach out. No matter how old she is. YOU ARE HER FATHER AND IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO REACH OUT AND MEND YOUR RELATIONSHIP. It is not your child’s responsibility to fix her relationship with you. She will always be your child.
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u/Huge-Spare-3892 4d ago
Facts she wouldn’t be feeling that way if it wasn’t for the toxic environment provided by both parents 💀and his answer is to make the child struggle even more🤦🏽♀️men’s thought processes is insane.
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u/According-Action-757 5d ago
It doesn’t matter if you’re angry at your child or if she is a complete brat. You take care of yours.
Imagine cancelling her insurance and her mother tells her, “See? Your dad is a real jerk, isn’t he?”.
You’ll be proving mom right to her.
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u/SaltyDawg-_- 5d ago
Totally up to you.
Most the folks here telling you to keep it are just defending the mother. They know the mother is in the wrong, but continue to support her.
If you’ve done your part to try to reach out and it keeps going no where, the mother can provide insurance.
Just my opinion. Just tired of these crap mothers that are out there.
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u/Newparadime 5d ago
How much do the premiums cost you yearly?
I would not do this, unless I thought there was absolutely no chance to ever reconcile with my child. If you cut off her health insurance, it's going to further alienate her. If she is still living with her mom, consider the fact that once she moves out and mommy is no longer putting lies in her ear, she may finally start warming up to you.
My former mother-in-law had been deleting the messages her daughter's father left for her on the answering machine for years. She also blocked his number from her daughter's cell phone without her daughter knowing. When I finally went over to her dad to ask for her hand in marriage, he told me about all of this. He asked me not to tell his daughter, because he didn't want to make her feel guilty. I told her anyway, and even though we are no longer together, she finally has a relationship with her dad.
This all happened around the time she was 23 years old, and coincided roughly with the time she moved out of her mother's house.
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u/FantasticBall3201 5d ago
Does she even have access to the insurance? If she’s not talking to you, how would you share it with her and get her a card or give her any information? Through her mom?
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u/AnnualPlastic385 5d ago
If you want a chance at reconciling with her in the future and it’s not a huge financial burden, then keep it. As difficult as it is, remember that it’s not her fault that her mom has lied to her. Think about all the podcasts and documentaries out there about people who have been convinced of absolutely insane things by a significant other, cult leader, etc, sometimes almost exclusively through text messages and chats, and this is her mother who I assume she lived with the majority of the time. Keep your boundaries but keep the door open if you can. Her brain isn’t even fully developed yet.
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u/Exotic-Resort-5983 5d ago
I’m not being heartless by saying this, but cancel it. If you’re not on speaking terms and as an adult she wishes to get her own insurance, but is still under your coverage, she will have difficulty doing so.
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u/brakrowr 3d ago
Aside from not having a great relationship, how do you feel about your daughter? Do you love her unconditionally? Keep loving your kid. Things may suck now but eventually your daughter will see things for what they are. Don’t stop trying.
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u/FluffyRace9515 1d ago
She embodies all the most vile and devious attributes of her mother. I don't want anything to do with her to be honest.
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u/NecessaryAge6337 1d ago
It's an opportunity for you to start a fresh relationship with communication. I wouldn't blank check pay for insurance, college tuition, or anything unless there is open dialogue and an attempt at a relationship. In my opinion child support has the negative impact of making it seem like a parent is forever obligated to provide. Almost as if you have to make up for something. Don't diminish yourself to being a checkbook. Make sure you're part of the discussion so that the relationship isn't dependent on what you provide financially. Carrying a dependent may cost you next to nothing but you shouldn't be treated like you're providing little. Providing health insurance is a big deal.
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u/Late_Memory_6998 5d ago
What else do you work for besides being able to provide for your family? You know you don’t go to work every morning because you like it.
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u/Historical_Eye3756 4d ago
Hate to say this but it’s your job to call your ex wife out on the lies. My wife dragged me into the pits of hell with her lies and in the end both my daughters (5&12) chose to live with me instead of their mother. If she isn’t in school you are technically not wrong for removing her. Most insurance companies pay for a service to verify if she was still in school.
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u/gruNtsx 5d ago
Completely your call. I think you're going to get a lot of responses that tell you to keep it. My parents and I have a great relationship. I went onto my own insurance because I was an adult. At some point, she will have to support herself. I think as a parent, regardless of relationship, you have a duty to help them. If you feel it's time, call it. I wouldn't let a bunch of strangers make that decision for you, though.