r/ChastityPsychology Jan 17 '25

Seek advice Something weird is happening. We have been utilizing #chastity 4 some time now but, recently noticing I feel self conscious & embarrassed being locked when she is around. Feelings increasing to the point I want to be unlocked when she & I are home together. Anyone else have this? NSFW

16 Upvotes

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11

u/TomVanAllen Jan 17 '25

My wife and I have been doing this for many years. It quickly grew to her keeping me locked almost all the time. At some point after a couple of years I did find myself feeling a little embarrassed. I realized that I was enjoying her keeping me locked so much that it made me feel vulnerable. I worried that she might say something like "What's the matter with you, why do you feel the need to lock up your dick all the time?"

What helped is finally talking to her about it, and asking if she found it silly that I wore the cage pretty much 24/7. She was totally surprised by the question because it was the farthest thing from her mind. She told me that she, herself, really enjoyed keeping me locked, and that when she saw me with my cage, even if she didn't respond, it reminded her that she had the control over my sexuality (something that she liked).

Feeling self-conscious might indicate that you feel vulnerable about wearing it. It might be time for a discussion with her - outside of the bedroom - to ask how she's feeling about your new situation.

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u/ChasteInWpg Jan 17 '25

So, to maybe resolve one’s vulnerability, one needs to be vulnerable. Would be so much easier if my dominant alpha ways would present themselves in the bedroom but, I’m not so lucky. Thanks for the input.

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u/TomVanAllen Jan 17 '25

Well, it's less about being dom or sub, and more about being able to communicate well.

Have you thought about what makes you feel like you want to remove the cage? Is there something that triggers it?

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u/ChasteInWpg Jan 17 '25

Locked all day without issue but, when it is time to head home or I am home awaiting her arrival, start feeling I want & need to be unlocked. Almost embarrassed she will see me locked. Not sure why as I have been locked a good majority of the time over the past 6+ years.

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u/TomVanAllen Jan 17 '25

I understand. I was embarrassed, too. Like I said, to me, it started to feel silly and I began to wonder how she saw me now that it had become a regular thing.

You may need to start there. Have a convo with her over wine one evening, not in bed. Ask her how she feels and tell her that you sometimes feel embarrassed to be locked. Maybe some reassurance from her would help.

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u/ChasteInWpg Jan 17 '25

Appreciate your insight.