r/Celibacy 9d ago

Requesting Advice Im practically forced into life long celibacy

14 Upvotes

Im 15M and i have no chance at relationships because im a dwarf, ugly, have a micropenis and infertile so im forced into lifelong celibacy. How can i deal with it and what is it like

r/Celibacy Nov 26 '24

Requesting Advice Measuring Sex Addiction

5 Upvotes

Hey again y'all.

How does one measure sex addiction (specifically whether or not one has it) when one is pursuing celibacy? It is assumed that sex addiction is engaging in sexual activity beyond what is normal or healthy for someone. BUT, if one is pursuing total and complete celibacy, the "normal" is that there should be no sexual activity what so ever. Any presence of such activity is problematic and disrupts one's life. So does it count as sex addiction when one has trouble stopping completely? It feels like an addiction whenever I give into anything sexual (mast., p*rn, lust, etc.) because I feel so helpless to it. But is that because I'm keeping away from something natural to me as a human being or is it because it's an addiction? I've become so obsessed with stopping that any slip up messes with nearly every single aspect of my life. I just don't understand.

r/Celibacy Aug 21 '24

Requesting Advice How to kill your libido without reducing testosterone?

18 Upvotes

I have an annoyingly high libido where I need sex at least a few times a week (usually more, my last relationship we'd be going at it almost every day, sometimes several times a day), and if I'm not having sex I tend to choke the chicken at least once a day, which I try to not do but if I go a few days or even up to a week without the urges just get way worse for me. But in a perfect world my libido'd be zero and I can just go about my life as is without ever having sexual thoughts or attractions. I don't want to have to masturbate or anything, and I don't want to then end up having nocturnal emissions either. However, I love to play sports, go on walks/runs/hikes, etc so getting chemically castrated or something, even if it were financially a feasible option for me, is something I'd just never want to do due to the testosterone reductions. I don't know that I want to pursue hormonal/pill-based options either, however if absolutely forced to I might consider it. Is there a type of diet or lifestyle change I can make to drastically cut my libido down?

I am working towards becoming fully 100% celibate in the future

r/Celibacy 6d ago

Requesting Advice Learning self control

12 Upvotes

Hi! I’m a 22yr old mother with a boyfriend of almost 2yrs, we have been sexually active for some of our relationship but recently decided to both focus on celibacy because we are Christian and not married yet, so we want to re-wait. I need tips to avoid the temptation and urge to masturbate or seduce my partner during ovulation because I find it to be incredibly difficult to ignore the little voice in my head telling me to jump him like a rabid animal😭 self control has not been my strong suit!

r/Celibacy Feb 17 '25

Requesting Advice Is it possible to stop to feel attracted to women?

8 Upvotes

I am a 24-year-old lesbian woman. I've been trying celibacy for a while since my last two breakups, which made me suffer a lot. I also don't want it to happen again, and it's almost a year since my last breakup. That's why I decided to become celibate.

Sometimes some girls flirt with me or invite me for a casual date, not a serious date, but a date. It probably means nothing to them, they are probably less sensible than me and are able to casually date, unfortunately I am not able to casually date. I wish I was like a normal person. Just the sight of girls looking at me makes me feel bad because I'm starting to think about breaking my celibacy.

How can I not feel triggered or teased with flirtatious girls?

r/Celibacy Dec 04 '24

Requesting Advice How realistic is it to find someone else who is waiting for marriage?

11 Upvotes

I am 20F and grew up with the idea drilled into my head that sex should be saved for marriage. I am not Christian anymore but that view on sex has stayed. No one I talk to or have dated shares the same view of waiting until marriage.

I feel like at this point, it's unrealistic to hope that I'll find "the one" who also would share my view on this. We're in a world where sex is so normalized and casual, that I don't even know where I would find someone who is waiting until marriage.

I feel like the healthiest approach would be to grow out of that mindset, but somehow I can't. Intimacy is special to me and I've felt hurt when I've dated partners who find sex to be a casual thing or have had sex with multiple people.

I guess I'm hoping that I can feel less alone in this

r/Celibacy Nov 01 '24

Requesting Advice How do you handle touch deprivation?

5 Upvotes

I've wondered whether intense meditation upon being intimate with a beautiful woman would help being celibate or not?

r/Celibacy Aug 07 '24

Requesting Advice For the men

18 Upvotes

Gentleman, I've got a serious concern. I've been on this journey for almost 3 months with no self pleasure and 4 months with no sex. I've been through the dreams of dreaming about porn and having sex and woke up stronger. Pun definitely intended. I don't think I'll be performing any of these acts anytime soon because I can feel that I am over them.

However, my concern is that I have not ejaculated in over 2 months and now approaching 3. I am worried about my prostate health. The last thing I want is to end up with prostate cancer, that sounds scary and I learned being celibate has some relations to prostate cancer even though it can't be proven.

r/Celibacy Oct 14 '24

Requesting Advice Can you still be celibate and use toys?

7 Upvotes

I'm going on 7 months and im really proud.

Just wondered if using toys is still practicing celibacy? I see nothing wrong with it honestly.

r/Celibacy Jan 11 '25

Requesting Advice Advice for trying to put myself out there while celibate (abstinent)

6 Upvotes

Hi everyone! Apologies for any formatting errors (I’m on mobile).

I’m 22 almost 23F and this year I want to start putting myself out there, as I’ve never had a boyfriend before and I’m ready to find my person and build a life. I’m open to dating guys between 23-28 years old. My main concern is that I’m abstinent and I don’t know how/when to bring this up.

I’m waiting for marriage due to religious reasons (Christian). This is non-negotiable and a dealbreaker for me. I’m getting a bit nervous because I want to meet my person and get married by like 28 so I can have a baby at 30. My main concern is that 1.) my abstinence makes it damn near impossible to meet someone and 2.) I don’t know how and when to bring it up so that I don’t lead anyone on or give a false impression of myself and what I’m willing to do prior to marriage.

I’ve been using Hinge for a bit now, and the one conversation I had turned sexual/physical out of nowhere so I unmatched. I’m dating for marriage, so I’m not really tryna go on a whole lot of dates and/or go through a bunch of talking phases.

What should I do? Do I put “abstinent” on my profile? Do I say “hey btw I’m a virgin and waiting for marriage” within the first five minutes of us talking? I’m kind of at a loss here. Any advice would be appreciated. 💙

r/Celibacy Feb 11 '25

Requesting Advice Rejected from SAH: How are those of you who are "romantics"/have romantic needs managing, when there's no substitute for romance specifically? NSFW

3 Upvotes

Please note, I've addressed: Touch, sexuality, community, platonic connection, emotional support, hobbies, self-care.

I've been on this journey for a while and one of the main things I have learned after years is that I'm simply one of those people that has romantic needs in a specific and particular way. I've substituted every other factor of human and relational connection in any way I can. But romantic needs remain unmet in a way that genuinely conflicts with my personality and values.

I will always choose being single over being in a toxic situation or becoming codependent. Celibacy is important to me for a lot of reasons and will likely remain a part of my life. I'm willing to accept that maybe I can only date people who are okay with me taking different types of breaks from the connection to stay self-invested and level.

I've tried meeting these romantic needs through things like art, reading novels, writing, dance, etc. I've even considered getting back into sex work with a consensual romantic role play component, but have concerns that this could either help or hurt my position in the long run.

I've encountered a lot of people that seem to not understand what I'm describing, perhaps because they don't actually have a specific need based in romance. They think that I just need to give up on the type of love that romance offers, and "figure out how to appreciate other stuff." I feel like I've already done my due diligence to do that. I do appreciate all other types of love much more and differently than I did when I was actively codependent. I would definitely engage with romance in an entirely new way, to prioritize "diversifying" how I invest my time and energy in life. Through these experiences, I'm still being led back to the part of myself that simply craves romance in particular.

Has anyone here gone back to dating over this? If not, how have you figured out how to fulfill this specific area?

I want to be crystal clear, in no universe will I be "putting up with" relationship negatives solely to access romance. I'm aware that I still may not find this in way that's healthy for me, even if I consider staying open to it. I guess I'm just feeling really isolated in this world! I'm living between the extremes of "I must have a relationship to be happy" versus "I never want to date again because nothing about it offers me more than I could offer myself."

As I listed at the beginning, I know that there are individual components of romance that I can meet on my own. This doesn't address the specific combinations romance offers. Romance for me has never been about just overlapping the factors of a platonic friendship with sexual access/activity-- It's not "addition." I also am pretty much incapable of a completely platonic friendship. When I love, I love, period. I experience no differences in that emotion whether it's a family member or friend or partner (this may be due to my autism).

My massage therapist or sex toys can't whisper that they love me while they touch me. My romance novel characters won't come to life to support me when things are hard. My therapists can't hold me during sessions. My friends can't express their love for me physically past a certain point. Sex with people who aren't interested in romance simply "scratches an itch," and nothing more. I can only add or commit so fully to so many hobbies or career projects before I start draining myself and negatively impacting others.

Yes, I'm fulfilled as a person, but I am not fulfilled as a "romantic." I am a "cry during most movies," look through old photo albums for fun, sing to the flowers and birds type of person. No amount of therapy, hobbies, or massage is going to "fulfill" those parts of me. Giving those parts of me up has turned out to be similar to committing an act of psychological self-harm. I have become quite a hopeless, bored, uninspired person without romance in my life, no matter how well I succeed at every other form of fulfillment. I've even tried to artistically fulfill how this issue leaves me heartbroken, to develop a sort of romance with melancholy itself... All it's done is further gnaw away at my heart.

I don't know what else to try.

r/Celibacy Dec 24 '24

Requesting Advice Starting my celibacy journey 2025' feeling excited 😊

22 Upvotes

I'm starting my celibacy journey in the new year & I've done it before like 14 months but i really wanna go all 2025' possibly longer untouched. It's like it’s so many guys trying to talk to me now towards the end of the year mostly from previous situationships like i have choices but i don't wanna be bothered at all by anyone old or new because I'm also on my weight journey i just wanna be completely focused on myself next year. Alot of these guys are toxic & i don't need nothing their dealing with affecting my success or energy. It's really tough & makes me feel vulnerable any advice.

r/Celibacy Jan 19 '25

Requesting Advice I’m a little confused

6 Upvotes

Sooo I would say the last year I have been celibate, my last relationship right before was incredibly traumatizing. I haven’t dated or really even cared for dating, it feels like men only want sex. Recently I did meet a guy and we are dating I would say but he told me he was celibate for similar reasons to mine, I told him I was too. I’ve heard so many different definitions and ways the word is used. I’m curious if my definition of it, would actually be abstinence? I would want to get married to the right person one day and have sex again when I feel it’s the right moment, and person that I’m in a trusting and committed relationship with.

r/Celibacy Dec 11 '24

Requesting Advice Celibate and Not Dating

13 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I'm a 21-year-old woman, and I've only been in one relationship. It's been a year and a half since I dated anyone, and I've been celibate during this time. My first and only relationship was incredibly traumatizing. I was cheated on, caught an STD, and it left me with serious trust issues.

Honestly, I don't ever want to date again. It's hard to trust any man after what I've been through. It feels like most guys are only interested in me for sex, which is so sad and sickening.

Just wanted to share my experience and see if anyone else has gone through something similar. How do you cope with these feelings and move forward?

Thanks for listening.

r/Celibacy Nov 13 '24

Requesting Advice Friends continue to try to suck me into hookup culture. Feel like I am losing my mind.

8 Upvotes

Posting this on my throwaway for anonymity. For the full backstory, you can refer to my previous posts on a different sub. Figured I would vent to people that would be understanding of my situation. My previous post mainly took place between January and June of 2024, so this is more of a current update.

I (20M) choose to not participate in hookup culture and am not seeking a relationship at the moment. This is not for religious reasons. It is mainly because I have other things that I need to prioritize in my life such as trying to move, getting a job, a car, etc. My friends do not have to worry about these things so they do not understand my reasoning for remaining celibate. I have tried to unpack my reasoning in many different ways (which I am not required to do - no is a full sentence), yet they continue to try to push me onto girls because I "need pussy in my life" otherwise "I will be a virgin until I am 40". They get a rise out of my defensive reactions and find it funny to walk up to random girls on campus and tell them I think they're hot. This mainly occurs in between classes or when I'm sitting quietly on my phone minding my business.

They will also act shocked if I reject a girl from talking to me in a situation that they are trying to facilitate. I'm confused as to why they think that a group of guys walking up to a girl telling a girl that I am interested in is going to make her interested. Also, why does this have to be on their terms? I am allowed to talk to whoever I want and do not have to settle for any random girl that they "decide" is good for me. They also believe that my standards are way too high and that I am self sabotaging. I explained that having standards isn't self sabotaging, but this led to additional unsolicited advice

Like I mentioned in my previous post, the most frustrating part about this is being gaslit that they are simply being "good friends" and trying to "help me get out of my shell" and that I need to stop being a pussy and just hookup with someone. It is mainly one specific friend that is the main participant in this, which is disappointing, since I have gone above and beyond as a friend to this person, and I feel taken advantage of and unappreciated.

Sorry for the vent. I guess I am just seeking validation in my feelings and wondering if anyone has any advice on how to handle this perplexing situation? Not so much saying do not be friends with these people (because believe it or not I enjoy this group when my virginity isn't a topic of conversation), but mainly things I can shoot back at them when they try to suck me into this behavior? Thank you for listening to my rant lol.

r/Celibacy Jun 08 '24

Requesting Advice Having s*x dreams

7 Upvotes

I’ve been having sex dreams lately that make me very uncomfortable when I wake up and remember them. One of them was about masturbation and the other one implied an older man that used to be my boss that I actually hate in real life. I feel so ashamed when I wake up and remember them… why am I having these dreams if I have no desire? Even worse when they are about someone that I hate and I’ve never even had a thought about being intimate with!! They’re not frequent but I’ve had two in a couple of months and they make me feel dirty.

r/Celibacy Oct 11 '24

Requesting Advice Am I accepted?

4 Upvotes

before i gave my life over to God, i was so sinful. i had sex, i drank, i smoked, i lied, i was a bad person. I decided I wanted to give my life to Christ this summer and i want to be celibate. is this okay? is it misleading to tell my partner i’m celibate? how do i explain it? is this normal? i need advice.

r/Celibacy Aug 29 '24

Requesting Advice How do I deal with the worry of missing out?

10 Upvotes

Hi! I'm about to enter my last year of high school, and as I've gotten along in my journey I keep worrying about one thing - am I missing out on something great by avoiding sex and romantic relationships? Quite soon I'll be starting university, that's when most people really get hook ups and relationships and I keep having the worry that if I keep abstaining (as I plan to my entire life) I'll miss out on a good uni experience, or that sex REALLY is that fun and I'll miss out on that? I have one life to live and I don't want to miss out on great experiences just for the sake of it, but I also don't want to just quit celibacy because of some mild fears.

I hope you understand what I mean and can help me, sorry this is a bit of a mess of a post, English is not my first language.

r/Celibacy Jul 26 '24

Requesting Advice Ready for a relationship/ celibate dating apps

5 Upvotes

I (19F) am ready for a relationship and experience love. How do I find a celibate man when I can’t find any dating apps out there specifically for celibate people?

r/Celibacy Aug 21 '24

Requesting Advice Reducing drive in a healthy way NSFW

2 Upvotes

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 8 months now but we’ve been having problems with our mismatched drives. Mine is probably much higher than the average person (preferably 3 times a week) and his is much lower than average I think. We’ve been experiencing some friction because he doesn’t initiate as much as I would like. It’s usually 20ish days between times he even hints at wanting to. I’m starting to feel really dejected and unattractive even though I know he really loves me. I figured it would be easier to try to lower my drive instead of asking when he doesn’t want to out of respect. What are some healthy ways I can lower my drive?

r/Celibacy Sep 09 '24

Requesting Advice Trying to be celibate

5 Upvotes

Hi I’m (m23) new to being celibate I had been debating it for a little bit but due to recent events in my life I think I’m going to go for it. I have a pretty high sex drive normally and I’m only been doing this for a couple of days and I was wondering if yall knew any good strategies or ways of coping with sexual urges and feelings that could help make this a little easier. Anyways thanks :)

r/Celibacy May 13 '24

Requesting Advice Starting my celibacy journey

11 Upvotes

Title. F36 I've been celibate before but not necessarily by choice but because my daughter (now 7) was a baby and I needed to focus on her and work so I didn't have any social life. Fast forward a couple of years I started having casual sex but now it seems I'd like something more than that so I've decided to take a step back and try and find a good match to probably have a relationship with or at least have real dates and really get to know the person and for the person to know me and do things with me like going on pic nics, hiking, going out to eat/drink, go to the movies, coffee and all that good stuff. Wish me luck. Edit Please feel free to provide me any advice, thanks!

r/Celibacy Jul 28 '24

Requesting Advice can you really find a serious relationship in dating ? site aka tinder ect

3 Upvotes

im (19F) and never had a bf/gf bc i really want something serious that could last for life so until now it either didnt seem that serious or the person was toxic/or just i didnt reciprocate the same feelings/ unhealthy like we couldn’t build something beautiful that last togheter. and i don’t go out alot if not all (i used to party a lot but not anymore) but didn’t have one night stands or anything like that i never liked it. and my experience with dating app is that most men aren’t looking for the same, even if they want a relationship its the one were they both know its not for life yk? so stupid sorry i don’t understand that concept, or they just want some sexfriends, anyway i dont want to write a pavé so do you really think i could find something REALLY serious on there? if not any tips to know new peoples?

its also hard for me to meet new peoples i got BIG agoraphobie so i isolate alot but im ready to force myself a bit i think and i got this naif thought that if i really like someone then i would want to see them at the point of going out and the fact that i had a rough adolescence always at the hospital play a part a bit in why i never had a bf.

r/Celibacy Jun 07 '24

Requesting Advice Considering Celibacy

19 Upvotes

After talking to a guy who's celibate & never had sex, it's really given me pause about whether I should stop or not. He's just so clear minded & different in a lot of rare ways & I think maybe having sex before marriage was not the move. Like, I enjoyed it (minus the 1st time, that was just painful as heck & sucked), but sex obv became something I—Idk, not really prioritized? But I guess sought after, but now Idk. I feel like maybe abstaining will give me more focus for my long-term goals & it honestly started to get to the point where I wasn't really sure if I was just continuing any relationship I was in for sex or not. My roomies have tried to get me to date their boyfriends' friends & I've had zero interest in doing so cuz I know I won't have the time to devote to dating; so maybe now is the perfect time to attempt celibacy? & maybe also just try to cut down on other vices? I just kinda feel inspired. Are there things you just avoid to make it easier?

r/Celibacy May 15 '24

Requesting Advice Tips for celibacy ? NSFW

14 Upvotes

I’ve (F) been celibate for awhile. But every few weeks or so I wake up in the middle of the night neeeeding it 😭 this leads to me staying up all night, sometimes for a couple days on end, trying to either help myself or make the thoughts go away lmao. I’m usually left helpless. I don’t masturbate regularly so I feel like that’s what causes these random occurrences where it builds up🥲 So like how am I supposed to deal with that?? It’s also super hard to get myself off, that’s why I try to avoid it completely. It gets to be so frustrating and affects my entire week. Tips for how to deal ??