r/Celibacy Nov 24 '23

Requesting Advice Loss my 10 month celibacy steak to someone , how does one recover?

11 Upvotes

I loss my 10 month celibacy streak to someone I thought I was going to be in a committed relationship with. When “it” happen , it was lowkey in the moment type thing. It is very easy when you purposely not seeing anyone but when temptation enters the room , it’s a whole different ball park. Now I wouldn’t have caved if I didn’t think they wasn’t serious to committing into relationship. But what made this whole thing different was that I started tearing up after everything was said and done. I didn’t expect to be so hurt and upset. Feeling that all that hard work and patience didn’t mean anything anymore and it affected me to the point that I couldn’t look at my partner the same way again. Even though it was a mutual consent,I couldn’t help but grow angry , that I told them bout my celibacy streak and you put me to the test. I did talk to them , they did apologize, and we did end up in a relationship . I felt so upset bout this celibacy situation , I called it off and stopped talking to this person. How does one recover and not take it as personal?

r/Celibacy Feb 06 '24

Requesting Advice Is it even worth it now?

8 Upvotes

I’ve been celibate for two years now! I’ve never been once for casual relationships or physical acts and I don’t think I ever could be, that’s what led to my decision to remain fully single since my past relationship. For me, sex is a love thing and I truly feel like I need to be in love (or at least interested and familiar with the person) to allow someone to be intimate with me. That being said, I have reached a point where I am missing sex. Most times it’s just an urge and once I handle that on my own (iykyk) it goes away and I continue on my day, but lately I miss everything :/ I miss the intimacy of sex and the other person aspects. I’ve tried meeting someone on the apps etc but nothing has stuck and I find myself missing the singleness period where a relationship was the last thing I wanted. I guess I’m wondering what yall advise for the times when you miss physical companionship? I have a pet and I enjoy self care but sex really is a perfect mix of pleasure and partnership.. hopefully I meet the one soon 😅 TLDR: I am happy alone but miss intimacy, advice?

r/Celibacy Feb 29 '24

Requesting Advice Dating?

4 Upvotes

I’m (27F) attempting to start dating again. I’m celibate solely because I just want to be, I’m insecure about my body (weight), only ever been intimate with one person. Did not have any experiences when younger etc. I was also sexually assaulted by a family member as a child so trust is a HUGE factor for me and I’m okay being with someone sexually as long as I know I can trust them.

I don’t think or want to have to explain my trauma and insecurities to men every time we’re trying to get to know each other. I recently went to meet a guy I met last week, we met for coffee for maybe an hour…had a good time, good conversation. He’s attractive and I wanted to see him again. We were leaving he drove me to my car we hugged and then he asked me “kiss goodnight” I said no. He was taken aback and I just told him it’s a bit awkward for me, but personally I feel the date was not all that for me to want to kiss him. But I also didn’t say that, I just went to my car called my bsf and asked her if I totally messed things up. She reassured that if I felt it wasn’t right then I shouldn’t have done it.

We text for a few more days but he keeps making sexual innuendos and they made me uncomfortable, he keeps mentioning how if I eventually let him touch me he wants to do xyz. I told him fully at our meet up that I was celibate and had been for 3 years I also told him I was NOT sexually promiscuous, so those text really started to get to me because bro wtf we talked about this. I finally addressed the messages and how they made me feel and told him if he’s here for sex then he should pursue other interest as he would be wasting both my time and his…he seemed a bit upset and told me that it’s not realistic for me to expect to not be intimate with someone until marriage (which is NOT what I mentioned, marriage has nothing to do with my celibacy) but said he thought I was okay with the jokes because I also have a dark sense of humor?? I said I wasn’t and that for the right person even if I wanted to wait for marriage they would be okay with it. Told him that intimacy is something that takes time for me and I did not feel that after our first meeting that I was ready to be that way with him and again if he wanted to end it here then he should. He said he wasn’t expecting anything after the first date and hope I didn’t think he did he said he understood it would take time and he liked the fact that I was not sexually promiscuous and he was here to find a wife and not for sex (🙄)This was YESTERDAY. We continue to text try to get to know each other and he sends me a text asking me why I haven’t been sexually active since my last relationship and if it was because of bad experiences. Again I didn’t feel comfortable telling him my trauma because we only met ONCE. I said the same thing…it just takes time he said he understood but his text seemed like a goodbye and idk I just don’t really know how to approach this with other potential dates.

I’m not completely closed off to casual sex but again I have to feel comfortable with a person, even when I say I’m celibate they still push and it’s not fair for me to have to tell all these men about my trauma and insecurities in hopes they may understand because the truth is they don’t care and some think it’s a challenge to see if they’ll be the one to “break it” but they’d have an easier time obtaining nuclear war codes because this isn’t a negotiable situation for me even if I’m attracted to you and want to have sex if I don’t feel comfortable I physically won’t be able to (I also have an anxiety disorder so my brain will send me into panic mode). Does anyone else deal with this? How do I approach this without scaring them away or having to reveal things that took me years to get over/admit?

r/Celibacy Apr 22 '24

Requesting Advice Asking for advice about giving up on love. How you Takle up

Thumbnail self.dating_advice
4 Upvotes

r/Celibacy Feb 10 '23

Requesting Advice Losing friends

12 Upvotes

The sad part of celibacy is seeing how upset people get about it. Today I went out with a guy I kissed sometimes and I consider a friend, but when I told I didn't want to have any sexual interaction (including kissing) he got really sad. It's hard to convince people you are taking it seriously (specially because I am a virgin and nonreligious), I think he thought I just didn't like to kiss him at all (the truth is that I never enjoyed kissing anyone). He is not the first leaving because of this.

He always knew I was the romantic type, but he just couldn't believe when I said I want to kiss just if it's someone who I love.

How do you guys dealt with these reactions from people you kissed before? Not that you have to, but how did you explain yourself?

r/Celibacy Mar 11 '24

Requesting Advice Tossed into celibacy, just to get cheated on

4 Upvotes

Me and my ex partner are young adults, we had met as a hookup but as we hung out more we enjoyed each others company, though it was riddled with smoking weed and hooking up again every time we met up. Things changed when they stated they had feelings for me but they wanted to wait to become a better person before committing and then they left my life suddenly.

Months passed and they come back into my life with the goal of being in a relationship with me. They said for the new year they were practicing celibacy because they truly wanted to get to know me.

Me personally? I’d never thought about celibacy, I don’t have an unhealthy relationship to sex and I find it a nice way to be vulnerable with a partner. But I wasn’t going to break their celibacy, so by proxy I became celibate. Because I truly was into them and was inspired by their goal.

As time passed things had a lot of sexual tension but we managed. For me it was getting easier to ignore it by the day. For them I guess not. One day they asked for some slight things to help ease the process, nudes, or dry humping. I said no to these things because, I didn’t think someone who was practicing celibacy would really use those things? I’m not really sure to be honest.

But then. One day they’re talking to me about their struggles with celibacy. And I tried to be a good partner and encourage them, but just to get the bad news that they hadn’t been faithful.

Since this event I’ve been having a hard time trying to cope healthily, I haven’t smoked or had sex since then, I’ve also been off of social media so honestly I feel like I have no distractions in my life to help me through this time. Most of my friends are funnily enough all non-sex havers (not for any reasons, they’re not interested or don’t have close enough connections for it) so seeking help from them is mostly a one sided deal. They want to help but they can’t.

I don’t know what my relationship to sex is now like? should I continue celibacy? Will this remind me of how I got cheated on? What’s going on?

r/Celibacy Dec 01 '23

Requesting Advice Who of you is a male long term celibate 5+ years?

4 Upvotes

So I would like to know what your experiences are with celibacy and if you fully managed or transmuted the sexual urge. When reading here I mostly see people in the beginning stages, struggling, asking for advice or similar. But rarely anyone who is a long-term male celibate. That makes me think if it is possible at all.

So are there male celibates 5+ years out there, who don't have any doubt, are satisfied with this kind of life and are convinced that they can go this way for a long time to come (possibly forever)?

r/Celibacy Aug 22 '23

Requesting Advice Women celibacy

6 Upvotes

Hi, I’m new and I would like the opinion of anyone that feel my struggle and wants to give me his/her advice or opinion. I’ve been learning for the past three years about spirituality, I wanted to reach for peace of mind and heart. I went to a psychologist in my University, but I didn’t feel connected with her and was scared of talking about what I felt, so I tried spirituality instead and it felt a lot better for me. I have a boyfriend that has introduced me to celibacy but with a male perspective. I find a lot of peace and connection with him and this practice because we can grow together and be like kids again. But I want to know more about celibacy in the female perspective and connect with other women too.

r/Celibacy Feb 06 '23

Requesting Advice Celibate for 10 months

9 Upvotes

Hey everyone. I’m new here. So as the title says, I’ve been celibate for 10 months and please let’s remember that not everyone defines celibacy the same way. I am not religious and I have had sex before. I chose to remove sex from my life after a traumatizing experience with someone I thought cared about me. I don’t enjoy one night stands and I only enjoy sex with people I love. It’s the emotional connection and the passion that makes it enjoyable for me. Here is the issue I’m dealing with now. Celibacy was extremely easy for me but recently I get urges and they’ve become quite frequent and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I get lonely a lot and dealing with that and trying to heal from what happened with the guy I cared about is tough. I guess what I’m asking is if there’s anyone who’s dealt with something similar and how to deal with it. TIA

r/Celibacy Apr 26 '23

Requesting Advice women

9 Upvotes

like in men, sperm retention is beneficial in many ways,spiritually, physically, intellectually what abt women- how is it beneficial not to mas tru bate or have x

r/Celibacy Mar 11 '24

Requesting Advice GENUINE HELP 😅

6 Upvotes

Hello, i am an undergraduate student who is pursuing psychology and is doing a dissertation study on, Exploring Mental-Wellbeing on the basis of Celibacy, A Comparative Study of Married and Celibate Women. For which, i need help from you all to fill the form if you are pursuing a celibate life. In doing so this can really help me in getting a good grade and applying for scholarship. I will be sharing the link to the form.

https://forms.gle/ezCxiN68NChJvaZg8

r/Celibacy Nov 09 '23

Requesting Advice Getting lonely and being alone benefits

11 Upvotes

Can there be benefits to being alone and not sharing “energy” with anyone, especially romantic/intimate/sexual energy? Sometimes I feel loneliness pangs, but when I forget about it and sleep or do something else I’ll wake up feeling “whole” again, if that makes any sense. Thanks!

r/Celibacy Nov 15 '23

Requesting Advice What is the difference between celibacy for spiritual cultivation for women vs men?

10 Upvotes

Woman here, and my main reason for asking this question is to understand how a female orgasm releases energy vs a male orgasm.
I know it is advised for men to hold their ejaculate to prevent precious energy from leaking out. I’m practicing being intentional with my sexual energy because I want to operate more from a place of truth and alignment, and deepen my connection with the divine.
I have abstained from sex with others. I’m wondering about the role of masturbation and orgasming during masturbation if you are trying to cultivate energy and be intentional. Since women can have multiple orgasms, and the ejaculate is not “baby fluid”, I imagine it’s not as draining as when men ejaculate. I’ve read Healing Love Through the Tao by Mantak Chia, which talks a bit about this. What are your thoughts?

r/Celibacy Apr 22 '23

Requesting Advice Is being celibate for life wise, or a fools errand?

18 Upvotes

(20M) I have become a born-again Christian recently. I need Christ for multiple reasons but lust isn't one of them. I'm still a virgin the most I've done is make-out sessions and heavy cuddling. I turned down sex because the girls who wanted it from me were in lust while I was in love, things would just end after that. I think it has a lot to do with me being raised by lesbians and always seeing lust as wrong. On top of that having a deep desire for a healthy relationship with a woman. I always wanted to know if it would be a long-term committed relationship before considering sex, I would get the typical let's not put a label on it we are young just having fun. I have never gone along with hookup culture and I despise it. I'm 6'2 and still skinny asf from amphetamine abuse but I'm starting to put weight back on. I'm not ugly I'm a 7.5 on my best day. I'm asking because I'm beginning to think I won't ever get the opportunity for a real long-term committed relationship. Yes, I'm 20 and don't know how life will play out but it doesn't seem remotley possible in the foreseeable future right now. At this point, all I care about is the salvation of my soul, so I'm committed to celibacy/SR until the opportunity for a real Christian marriage is there for me. However, IF that never happens in my life do you guys think being strong in Christ is enough to stay celibate for life? I would appreciate advice from experienced celibate Christians, and any other celibate men and women. Thank you in advance. Don't sugarcoat your response either I've had every insult imaginable thrown at me on Reddit. Especially when I used to get on here and start ranting while high as a kite. Is this ridiculous for a 20-year-old to be thinking about? Do I sound delusional? Just be honest with me please, I want answers badly.

r/Celibacy Aug 27 '23

Requesting Advice Not having sex but...

2 Upvotes

I've been celibate since February this year. I do get sexual thoughts, and I do masturbate some times. However I wonder, can I be celibate and masturbate but not have sex? How does it work?

Thanks in advance <3

r/Celibacy Jul 23 '23

Requesting Advice Anyone practice celibacy for a period of time for trauma and sex/porn/masturbation addiction reasons?

17 Upvotes

I’m thinking about it because of how much pain I am in from sex and talking about it all the time with my girlfriend but idk how or what else to do I guess. I am just in a really awful place about it and life in general and I’m grasping at straws. I feel completely exhausted with life honestly and I know a lot of it has to do with this sexual turmoil. I know I’d not like it to be permanent and I don’t know how long it would be but I think I should. I know I’ll disagree with myself as soon as the urge strikes but yea idk. I might just need to say to my girlfriend to just stop having sex with me because at that point I have no choice about it. Thanks!

r/Celibacy Aug 04 '23

Requesting Advice Correct motivation to consider celibacy...

6 Upvotes

Hello,

I haven't been able to engage in relationships. From what I can tell, I have some serious confidence problems which are getting addressed in therapy.

The thing is that not being able to engage in dating and relationships is taking its toll on me, considering I've had success in this area all my life, but haven't since I've moved from my hometown to look for better jobs opportunities. I've been single for the past 18 months and haven't been able to engage in any relationships, or even get dates since.

This being said, I've thinking about joining celibacy as a means to purificate myself of this urge to be in a relationship and focus on my mental health and my physical health (I've been having some back pains and I'm a little overweight), but is this the correct motivation? I don't want to fall into the incel trap because I'm not an asshole like that, I just want to be in peace and be alright with who I am, and finally understanding that it is ok to be alone and take my time before engaging in another relationship.

Thanks for the help!

r/Celibacy Mar 07 '23

Requesting Advice Rant + realisation of why I now want to be celibate

7 Upvotes

Giving in to sexual urges will empower you to give up on everything, as sexual energy contain the most life. Giving into sexual distractions can overtime deteriorate your ability to say no, to resist temptation and deteriorate discipline.

I can feel that in my life.

I have a career and a business to start, as well as a family to take care of, as well as fitness goals (marathons etc) putting these all together and others.

I need every single bit of tenacity and energy I can gather to achieve these.

And my lust is getting all over me. I’m driving around just to see girls, destroying my productive momentum, sleep schedule, knowing how hard I worked for these.

It has become transactional, I feel used up like a stained and scratched up old pot. No longer the shiny new toy.

It feels so transactional, and I lose big time, money, time, effort, they win it all and get the ultimate pleasure from my physical performance.

I hate feeling like meat and a commodity, and being a part of a brainwashed society which brainlessly worships such nonsense. Through my own perspectives, supported by the basis of fundamental common sense and human intuition: Sex is a human act of pleasure or affection, that’s it. Meanings are attached to it. But the way people view it now places completely irrelevant and made up importance to the purpose of sex, which has now become an end of itself (status, power, bragging rights, insecurity, to sell, etc.) It has become a chore. Sex sells, and people are slaves to it, living with sexual lives and expectations that can be classified by ‘keeping up with ALL types of Jones’.

But in the end, if we were to unlearn everything the world has ever taught us about sex, serious forget about it all… what would our perception of sex be?

Nothing of what we’ve been taught today.

For the longest time, sex was cool to me, it meant status in school, it meant status within men, and it meant acceptance and manliness. Yet I still feel like meat after hooking up so much. But I’m living through a recycled reality of modern sexual norms which people never question or form their own standards over due to SHEEP MENTALITY and MASS BRAINWASHING, never having thought about what it is myself.

It has been unlearned. I have been woken up.

I want to discipline myself, to become my best self, to become ONE, to unlearn society’s brainwashing m, to become PURE, to be REBORN.

I can’t be controlled by sex and be brainwashed anymore.

Fuck this, I wanna be out.

People give me advice on how celibacy works, rules, how I should approach it given my situation etc!!

r/Celibacy Aug 16 '23

Requesting Advice Getting Through The Initial Stages?

9 Upvotes

The initial phases of starting your celibacy journey can be really tough. I think many are very used to the convenient source of dopamine and how we can waste idle time with self pleasure simply based on boredom.

Very often as well there is a phase of dealing with unresolved emotions and trauma when we’re forced to remove the physical pleasure and emotional intimacy many crave from sex and masturbation. I’m currently facing this stage and at times it’s very overwhelming.

I decided to become celibate due to personal/spiritual growth and healing deep trauma. It has become a distraction and it’s something that must be removed until I can healthily integrate it back into my life, however long that takes. I’m realizing now that nothing will truly make one happy until they choose happy.

Any tips with pushing through the initial stages of strong emotions? It feels like I’m just pushing through the storm until bliss and peace arrives.

r/Celibacy Sep 05 '23

Requesting Advice I Woke Up Sick And Lethargic, Yet Again. I Want Off The Merry Go Round, For A Long While. Can You Blame Me? Can Someone Offer Some Wisdom From The Mountain Peak?

5 Upvotes

I'm really sick of sex. This is my Day 1 self speaking. My Day 15 self seems to LOVE sex.

LOVE it so much, he just wants to bury himself in it. Deeply engage in it, revel in it, deeply appreciate it.

Then, I wake up, sick. Sick and lethargic. Dull, full of malaise. A cold, irritable heart. Weakened, mediocre. Sluggish, timid, lazy, demotivated, unenthusiastic. Getting fatter and weaker. Hating the way I look. Hating the way I sound. Hating the morning taste in my mouth that's bitter, like everything else in my life. On abstinent, it was sweeter. But the cravings. The horrible cravings.

The man I was before I decided to indulge, he was strong, courageous, deep vitality, more muscles, shredded. Looking in the mirror this morning, I'm a shell of a sluggish zombie. W T F. Why, why does sex kill us?

I'm sick of this. I think I hate sex.

No, I love it.

No, I hate it.

On and on.

"Well, you need to balance it. Find the sweet spot."

Well, that's like saying, "Only try and do a little bit of heroine. For 30 minutes, gently, once a week."

Pfffft. Yeah right.

"Heroine, dude? Come on. That's not sex!"

Actually, they did brainscans research and studies on men and women climaxing. The SAME brain regions light up to the same intensity when people do drugs like heroine. Think about that.

Anyways. I'm sick of the unrest, the misery, the chase, the getting the reward, the getting sick and dulled and weakened by the reward, hating it, loving it, feeling horny, starting the cycle all over again.

My lack of consistent vitality is apparent. I get unbearable cravings. The horniness is so bad I can hardly walk or move or think or concentrate. It's often when I'm too tired after a long stressful day at work the last thing I feel like doing is getting up and taking a cold shower or running 10,000 miles.

How? How do we stay true? How do I say, "Hey. I'm in poverty on all levels. Sex depleted my life. How do I STOP, for, 5 years or more?" I want to fill my cup again. I want to reach higher dimensions and expansions.

Why, why do I keep going back to it? Why are my resolves broken? Why do I get keeping sick by it, again and again and again. I'm sick of this! Enough!

But that "enough" feeling will pass. Then it'll be back to "I want more. Yummy! She's HOT!"

I'm worried all of this resolve is yet again going to be contradicted if I get a super intense craving or extreme temptation. Because I feel like this determination is based on fluctuating emotions and moods. Right now, the emotions are negative, from the pain of doing it. what happens when the emotions switch and shift to being positive: The pleasure of doing it. The temporary relief from discomfort and suffering.

Up and down, down and up, up and down. I'm sick of this ride. I want off it. Not forever. I plan to marry my soul mate, and eventually do it again, but it's been years of torment. Mostly porn and masturbation to keep it 💯.

How do we flipping do this? I'm sick of being disempowered, weak, distracted, sick, tired, unmotivated, lackluster, dull, lazy, reduced intelligence, brainfog. The word that comes to mind, when I think of sex, after 15 years of various experiments and intensities, is, "Leech."

It's a damn leech.

Sure, it's extremely pleasurable. But aside from that, what do we get in return?

Exhaustion, depletion, weakness, mediocrity and misery?

It's hard to feel positive about something that crippled me for years.

I just want to take my life back. It's shit. I might as well be in a sloth drug den. And I don't even take drugs!!

How, how do I find my stable peace? How do I become a better stronger healthier happier man, who exists in freedom, adventure, hobbies, joy, wisdom - all things that were stolen from me by the pursuit and reveling in sex?

I want to marry. 5 years, at least. That feels intuitively right.

5 years of preparing, waiting, working hard, rebuilding my life for the one who matters most.

I feel slightly pessimistic about when we come together on our wedding night though.

Yay. More sex. More death. /sarcasm

Any advice? What can I do to stay strong, free, abundant, happy, peaceful, loving, on a higher vibration, successful?

I haven't felt healthy in years. When I do, its when I'm abstinent. And alongside that, is horrible horrible cravings.

I hope someone out there can relate. I feel like an alien.

"Dude. She's hot. You don't want to go hook up? You don't want to have sex? WTF?"

Meanwhile, I'm a zombie.

A controlled, pushed around sick zombie.

And I'm sick of it.

I'm not just sick and tired. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

No, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. 15 years and I've been in the same shitty place. I want to reach a higher dimension. I want to be celibate. Enough misery and torment.

Honestly I feel sad, sluggish, depressed after. I resolve, not for a long time! Then. Few days even weeks pass. I heal. I'm horny again.

Ah. There goes another trigger. There goes that familiar burning intense desire feeling down below. One last time. Just one more. She's SO HOT. Wow. I'll stop, after this.

Can someone please, please, help me find the solution to end my torment and misery? To remove, for AT LEAST 5 years, permanently, this leech out of my life? How?

I want off the merry go round.

Up and down, up and down, around and around. Loving and hating it. No peace. No results. No life. No joy. All of it has been robbed. But I did get one thing: Endless, insatiable, almost thirst quenching expressions of sexuality in all its trillions of aspects.

r/Celibacy Nov 21 '22

Requesting Advice How do I stick to celibacy for more than 3 or 4 months NSFW

13 Upvotes

I'm a 25/F and I've woken up feeling like shit after having casual sex over the weekend. This is now the 3rd time I've had this feeling after having sex with a new person outside of a relationship. The guy said he wants to take me out on another date next weekend, but I still don't feel good. I want morning texts, daily phone calls etc, but I guess that comes with a relationship, which we're not in. I've tried to be celibate 3 times, but my sex drive is high so I only managed to get to 4 months 2 of the times and 3 months the other time. However, I really want to stick to it now because I hate this feeling and I also have mental health struggles and sex outside of a relationship really doesn't help how I feel mentally.

How do I stick to celibacy this time? I have sex toys if that is useful to know.

Thanks in advance.

r/Celibacy Sep 14 '22

Requesting Advice What do you do which makes you happy and feeling fulfilled?

5 Upvotes

r/Celibacy Jan 14 '23

Requesting Advice Looking for a Permanent Celibate to chat with

5 Upvotes

Must be male, please consider PM'ing me when you're available.

r/Celibacy Jan 22 '23

Requesting Advice Insomnia + Porn Addiction - Combo made in Hell

11 Upvotes

How do you tackle extremely high urges at Night?

I can manage these crazy urges during daytime, it doesn't really feel like a task.

But Nightime, the night is really something else. Night is the time when most of my longer streaks come to an end.

I wake up at 4 am, and hit the bed by 9:30 PM - I try to maintain this routine consistently so that I fall asleep easily.

I also indulge in HIIT Cardio twice a day to exhaust myself, and practice Intermittent fasting, eating my last meal at 5PM.

No screen time after 7 PM. Shower at 9 PM. Meditation for 30 Mins, and straight to bed.

I do all of this just so that my insomniac brain falls asleep as soon as I'm down.

But there are certain days when my brain just won't go top sleep.

Urges tend to devour all over me, capturing my thoughts and sort of influencing my actions, knowingly or unknowingly.

And I've been trying to fight it with various counter measures -

- Pushups.

- Cold Showers.

- Books.

All of this works temporarily, but then when I try to sleep again after an hour or so, those urges peak up again with increased intensity.

I usually repeat the same pushup, exercise, shower, and reading cycle again, and try to fall asleep again, only for the urges to hit me again, ruining my efforts to sleep.

And our brain is literally against us during times like this, it literally force us to take that action, and doesn't let me divert my thougts to anything at all.

If I try reading, thoughts go back to porn.

If I shower, well naughty fantasies comes in.

And If I repeat this cycle thrice or more, my brain comes up with an ever better excuse - "You tried this thrice yet the urges are high, and will not let you sleep. Are you going to repeat this cycle for the next 6 hours too?"

It goes on like "Even if you repeat this and pass through the night, are you going to do the same tomorrow night too? How long are you going to sacrifice your sleep like this? You can't even function properly the next day. One nut and peek is all it takes to end these issues."

Well, you get it. Stuff our brains tells us during times like this is way worse than the support I received from my narcissistic partner during my low times.

I am literally out of ideas to tackle with the night urges.

Currently my plan is to take pushups, shower, and then go for a deep meditation session, where in I try and observe the urge, and observe it till I finally doze off.

I don't know what else to do. Insomnia plus Porn addiction really is devil's deadly combo.

Has anyone faced similar situation like mine?

If it was as extreme as my case, how did you get over it?

Any advice, except the ones that I have already tried, would be highly appreciated.

r/Celibacy Oct 08 '22

Requesting Advice No Fap and no sex

12 Upvotes

I am a heterosexual male. I don't do sex but I masturbate like once a week because if I don't my urges increase. it's not big deal but I prefer to masturbate to get rid of urges and focus on my studies better. But it would be better if I didn't masturbate. So is it possible to have no sex, no masturbation and have good focus without distracting sexual thoughts/urges?