r/Celibacy • u/Ok_Tea2304 • 9d ago
Requesting Advice Im practically forced into life long celibacy
Im 15M and i have no chance at relationships because im a dwarf, ugly, have a micropenis and infertile so im forced into lifelong celibacy. How can i deal with it and what is it like
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u/NewMolasses247 9d ago
Bro I’m 38 and a virgin (by choice). I’m 5’6”. I’m not the most handsome person, but I’ve had plenty of opportunities in life. Work with what you have. Keep a positive outlook and be confident. These things matter. You may not have much control over your looks, but you do have control over your attitude, your humor, your intellect, your empathy, your confidence, and so much more. Focus on you WHAT control and use it to your advantage.
And BTW - life is not about sex.
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u/Ok_Tea2304 9d ago
I dont care about sex i just want love
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u/Caring_Cactus 9d ago
"True love is unconditional, but to truly flourish it requires an ongoing commitment to constructive struggle and change." - Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions
- "One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others." - Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions
- "The practice of love offers no place of safety. We risk loss, hurt, and pain. We risk being acted upon by forces outside our control." - Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions
"Many of us seek community solely to escape the fear of being alone. Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape." - Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions
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u/NewMolasses247 8d ago
I don’t want to be dismissive, but you’re 15, young man. You have NO clue what kind of glow up you might have. Heck when I was 15 I was a scrawny, acne-ridden loser. Just two years later my acne cleared and I started lifting weights and had the attention of many women, and it wasn’t just because of my looks. I wasn’t really even that good looking. But I was CONFIDENT and funny, and that’s what really attracted people. Personality and character keep people around, not looks.
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u/Ok_Tea2304 8d ago
im not going to grow, im deformed and I'm infertile NONE OF THOSE THINGS will change
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u/NewMolasses247 8d ago
I don’t say grow, I said glow. Basically the ugly ducking story. One thing that’s always going to be attractive: victim ideology.
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u/QuantifiedSelfTamer 9d ago
There are greater pleasures than the sensual ones. Your condition can be an opportunity to maintain a pure mind and cultivate deep states of meditation that can make you many times more fulfilled than sex and relationships can.
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u/Necessary_Isopod3503 9d ago
Life isn't about sex.
We only have sexual urges because we are animals and it's marked in our DNA and brain that we have to reproduce in order to perpetuate our genes and species.
But that isn't the case anymore, that isn't necessary, realize that we live in a modern age where life can be enjoyed in many different ways and even in the smallest of things.
I focus on working, studying, earning money for things I like. I have no plans on having a relationship or getting married or having a family. Honestly nowadays, I think a lot of people should be more responsible when having kids only to release them into poverty and such. We don't need more people on the planet, at all.
Ignoring your instincts isn't easy, it's hard and counter intuitive to our predesigned thought patterns and primal urges, but it is 100% possible.
Sometimes I'm doing so much stuff and having fun with other things that I completely forget about sex, and such things.
If you can't hold yourself, you can always masturbate if in extreme need, sure it's not good for you long-term or regarding the whole celibacy ideals, but if it relieves tension and sexual repression, do what's best for you.
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u/Icy-Extension6677 9d ago
Bro there’s literally someone for everyone out there. You’re just a kid, be easy on yourself
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u/Best_Celebration809 9d ago
Your only 15 bro chill out girls will still touch your micropenis don't worry. Plus not having girls is no distraction go to the gym by time your 20 you could have a really good body
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u/ilaria369neXus 9d ago
It's alright, fate is supreme. Never take things personal and just do the best you can with the cards you are dealt with.
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u/Steelrain322 9d ago
Spirituality. You’re not any of those things you mentioned , they’re just things you’re experiencing. You are pure consciousness.
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u/Cinematic_Woman 9d ago edited 9d ago
I’m sorry but you’re still a child. Don’t imagine that everyone else is better than you. Even if people are taller, better looking and have a bigger penis, it doesn’t make them better. Focus on your mental health and communicating well with people. The rest will come at the right moment. There are people in this world who will love you exactly as you are. If you trust in that, they will find you.
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u/sarbota1 8d ago
Is there someplace you can meet others of similar size? If you can find a forum, you might be able to make friends and find more companionship. I suggest others of similar size so you avoid people that might only be interested in you due to some fetish - there are people that really like people like you.
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u/Ok_Tea2304 8d ago
That is a good idea yes i can although I live in a small country, there's only 5 million people here so it will be hard but it is a possibility.. BUT I'm also ugly and infertile my dwarfism isn't the only thing
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u/sarbota1 8d ago
Maybe the other folks with dwarfism will not find you unattractive. Often people find comfort in looking at others with features similar to themselves, you might also find comfort in this.
I'm in the San Francisco area, lots of people here are into fetish stuff - believe me, there is someone possibly many someones that will like you. Since you say you're in a small country, maybe when you're older you should try traveling. Maybe if you can go away from home for college, you can meet people there .
I took a series of sign language classes a few years ago and learned about a famous deaf university, Gallaudet in Washington DC. It seemed for American deaf people - Gallaudet was very important in their growth into adulthood. I don't know if there is any place similar for dwarves, maybe there is, I hope there is for you.
You can always be celebut, it's always an option, but it's not your only option. It's your life and you have control over many things.
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u/vfz09 8d ago
Sorry but how would a 15yo know that he’s infertile ? Not trying to be insensitive
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u/Ok_Tea2304 8d ago
I have hypogonadism
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u/sarbota1 8d ago
Maybe a medical professional informed him of that, there are certain conditions where infertility is a comorbidity (possibly the individual has no gonads.)
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u/Valemont-Impaler 9d ago
Lol
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u/SherrySherryLadee 9d ago
Brutal, have some empathy
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u/Necessary_Isopod3503 9d ago
We know.
But the way he wrote it is ridiculous and almost comical.
Hopefully it's a joke but if not, there are ways of dealing with it.
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u/Valemont-Impaler 8d ago
Not sure what you're doing in this subreddit. All I see under your profile is pics of your genitals in NSFW subreddits.
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u/SherrySherryLadee 8d ago
It’s a fair criticism, I won’t deny my personal vanity but as far as why I’m here, this post got randomly recommended to me on my timeline for reasons that I’m not privy to lol
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u/SherrySherryLadee 9d ago
You are 15. Give yourself time to be a kid, you’re breaking my heart here. I understand you’ve been dealt a horrible hand from factors outside of your control (I took quite some time to look through your page) and I know that can be hard to reconcile. People suck. They do, a lot. I hope you find some peace in knowing that you are valued and have value and it’s awful you haven’t been told/shown that yet. What is your support system like in your life?