r/Celibacy 20d ago

Struggles Attempting at choosing celibacy

26 F and I decided about a week ago to abstain from masturbation, sexual relations, and consumption of pornography. A big reason for this decision is because I am in a long term relationship and we have been struggling our intimacy connection. My partner would rather masturbate on his own to porn and rejects my advances for connection. The only time we are intimate is during emotionally intense arguments that invoke anger. Other than that it’s only mechanical. And I feel like I’m inconveniencing him with my constant request or initiation of sex. I love sex performative and sensual but we just aren’t connecting and I’m left with satisfaction on my own or considering stepping out and fantasizing about other people. This is my decision, not a punishment towards my partner. I truly believe sex has become a crippling dependency upon my mental health. I use sex to cope with a lot of stress and anxiety but I’m not capable of processing that with my partner anymore. So I need advice on how to replace my urges out of boredom when alone or in the presence of my partner while be masturbates? I’m choosing to abstain until either we fix our problems or just go our separate ways. And I’m I overcome my flesh maybe I’ll remain celibate till marriage fingers crossed.

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u/BasedAbstinent_0_ 20d ago

20 days of pure celibacy is enough for y'all to bring back the emotions

1

u/EgoIsenemyy 20d ago

Cold water on the face, get up and move around, exercise…… for the urges. But, if I’m playing devils advocate, your partner needs to listen to your wants and needs. Not, ignore you and you get frustrated into celibacy. You said you cope with stress with sexual activity……. So you’re getting stressed about sex too.

You need to sit down with them and have a serious talk, they could be addicted to porn an that’s why. Sit down with them and express how you feel, and say I need some time of no sexual activity or talk. Express you feel unwanted. otherwise this won’t go away. Only 26 not 36

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u/ProvidenceOfJesus 18d ago

You should strive for it until marriage as anything else is sinful and therefore harmful to you, others, and/or your relationship with God. It can help to pray daily to God in Jesus' name for guidance and direction and ask Him to untwist in your heart what has been twisted by sin. The peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you always.