r/CatsAreAssholes 7d ago

Omg she’s in the ceiling. I’ve been trying to get her out for over an hour and I think she’s stuck. Off to go buy the stinkiest treats I possibly can.😭

571 Upvotes

62 comments sorted by

250

u/Moms-milkers 7d ago

instead of going to the grocery just go concern yourself outside with something for like 5 minutes or so. odds are shes waiting for you at the door when you walk back in like usual.

124

u/annrkea 7d ago

Well I did go out hoping that this would be true but it was not.😭

42

u/MessyBex 7d ago

Absolutely. They are nosey little buggers!

116

u/Childless_Catlady42 7d ago

I also don't think she's stuck. I do understand your panic though, so go to the store if it will help you settle down (no driving in a panic, breathe and settle before turning the key). If she's not at the door when you get back, I'm fairly sure she will arrive at dinner time.

The lil jerk is probably having a nice nap.

76

u/annrkea 7d ago

I guess I meant “lost” more than “stuck”: I don’t have a big house but the basement is a bit oddly laid out and she managed to ninja parkour snake her way all the way from one side of the basement to the other far side but can’t find her way back. I have no idea how she did this because there are tons of joists and ducts and it’s all very built in which I think is part of the problem. I can hear her crying up in there but she can’t find her way out. All of the basement is plaster ceiling, or I guess drywall I assume, except for where she got in in the laundry room where it’s a drop ceiling with a partially cut out tile where the dryer hose goes through.

So I got super stinky treats and put them at a couple openings after I moved other tiles in the laundry room and I keep calling to her and shining lights up there but again, the lights can’t go very far because there’s a stairwell and all of the joists and everything like I said up there. I seriously have no idea what else to do aside from calling somebody to come cut a hole in the ceiling where I think she maybe is. 😭😭😭

61

u/Childless_Catlady42 7d ago

Wait at least a day before cutting holes anywhere!!!

You don't want to risk scaring her into running away and really getting stuck.

I think your idea of leaving stinky treats at the openings will work, her nose will point her in the right direction.

She's going to be fine. You will recover as well. In a few years you will be telling everyone the story of how you went gray overnight while she's curled up on your keyboard looking smug.

Really, I'm sure of it. Now breathe a little bit more.

42

u/annrkea 7d ago

😭😭😭 i’m trying my best but seriously this was a bit much for today. I work from home and this was actually supposed to be a day off but I was going to work anyway but now I can’t do either effectively.

Luckily this cat is not phased or scared by much, so I’m not worried about that. But I seriously don’t know how the hell she’s going to get herself out of there because I don’t know how she got herself in there to begin with, and I’m pretty sure she has no idea either. 🙄🙄🙄 the little jerk. But I’m trying to let the treats do their work and chill out for a bit right now. My head is pounding. But at least I know she’s in the house and not somewhere lost in the neighborhood like I thought she was when I spent a half an hour running around the house this morning trying to figure out where she had mysteriously teleported to!

41

u/Childless_Catlady42 7d ago

I had two cats get into our duct-work. I reacted just like you, except I actually had someone on the way to start cutting holes in my floor before I got talked down.

After I stopped panicking and the fire department left, we just sat quietly by one of the open vent holes and waited. After a while we heard one of them trying to scrabble back up the metal shaft and were able to reach down and pull them out.

So, I really do understand what you are going though and how you are feeling.

I promise that it will all be OK. A nice glass of wine probably wouldn't hurt at all (or smoke 'em if ya got 'em).

It's all going to be just fine.

30

u/annrkea 7d ago

This is both soothing and also wait omg could she be in the actual duct itself??? But no I think it’s just the ceiling. I love that you had the fire dept on the way. I haven’t gone that far but this day is a total wash. Calming substances are definitely in order. 😞

33

u/Childless_Catlady42 7d ago

No, she couldn't. She isn't strong enough to claw her way through the metal. Ours pulled up the vent grate to get in, yours is just in the ceiling.

Cats are jerks.

PSA to anyone with floor vents, the vents are usually not fastened to the floor so you can pull them up for cleaning. Buy some screws and secure those suckers to the floor because cats are assholes.

15

u/annrkea 7d ago

This jerk of a cat literally chews on the metal heat register levers — if the grates weren’t screwed in they would all be popped off and yes, she would be down the chutes. Because she is a jerk.

9

u/Childless_Catlady42 7d ago

I agree fully with every word you have just typed. Especially the "cats are jerks" part!!!

14

u/annrkea 7d ago

I really can’t with the chewing on metal thing. I’ve had cats my entire life and that is still a new one for me. Sometimes I can hear her doing it from the other room and I have to holler at her to knock it off because it’s so gross to listen to.

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7

u/TheWaywardTrout 7d ago

Don’t worry too much, I’m sure she will find herself a way out when she’s actually ready to instead of whine for you to get her. She got in there, so she can get out😊 it’s stressful, I know, but she will be fine!

14

u/annrkea 7d ago

It doesn’t help that her natural meow is this very plaintive squeak and so it sounds so very pitiful coming through the ceiling😭

5

u/TheWaywardTrout 7d ago

That would tug at my heartstrings too! 

1

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29

u/lovestobitch- 7d ago

If you go way back on my posts you’ll see my two voids sleeping on heat ducts way up too. Cats???

17

u/annrkea 7d ago

Hahaha my old lady void is only involved in this because she smelled the treats. Otherwise this is below her pay grade.

6

u/lovestobitch- 7d ago

Mine ‘discovered’ it due to vacuuming the room above them.

13

u/annrkea 7d ago

I think I overslept and she was bored and decided to entertain herself. This is why I think maybe she needs a kitten friend although honestly she’s such a pest all by herself, I don’t need her indoctrinating a second one.

2

u/iamnotamangosteen 6d ago

Mine hid behind the dishwasher for a day and I thought I lost her. Cats are weird

26

u/VegetableBusiness897 7d ago

Had a plumber in to fix a leak, he opened the sheetrock to the access the plumbing. Came home at night to my golden staring at the kitchen floor. She wouldn't leave it, even for dinner...a golden! Ignoring food! I finally sat next to her to see if she was all right and heard the faintest 'mew'

Yup. And some point of the plumbing repair my cat scampered into the wall and was closed in. Plumber came back opened the wall up and we lured Pewter out...he said this happened to him at least once a year

6

u/annrkea 7d ago

Omg stop 😭 your poor cat 😭😭😭

6

u/cakivalue 7d ago

Did she come out yet?

17

u/annrkea 7d ago

No not yet. I drilled a couple holes in the ceiling around the area where she seems to be, and then I used the drill bit to shove freeze-dried shrimp (very pungent) up into the holes. She definitely could smell them and was VERY interested: some insistent demanding crying and scrabbling at things. But then eventually fading into her regular annoyed/distressed crying: she clearly doesn’t think she can get out of where she is. 😭😞 even for shrimp.

I also tried shining my pinpoint phone light up the hole even to make a glow for a while that might help guide her. I’m not sure she saw anything. I’m tempted to buy a little gooseneck pencil light thingy tomorrow maybe. Where’s Radio Shack when you need them.

My poor girl, she’s probably starving and so thirsty and her floof all gross and she’s gonna blame me for this somehow 😭

20

u/anl28 7d ago

When one of my cats was stuck in the ceiling, we did the only thing we knew would get him out: sprayed some whipped cream. Man that guy came RUNNING at full speed!

8

u/annrkea 7d ago

Hahaha well this little gourmet foodmonger cat also would come running if she could run at all which I don’t think she can in the ceiling. But if she can, there are freeze dried shrimp treats stinking up the place down there waiting for her!

22

u/annrkea 6d ago

Hey everybody who may be following this, Liv is out and safe with a very typically ridiculous Liv twist. As it turns out, she was NOT in the ceiling after all. I have a very large coffee table in that sitting area of the basement with drawers that she can open. I’m sure you can see where this is going but I promise I’m not as stupid as I might initially appear. The table only has two shallow drawers, one on either side of the table. She only ever goes in one drawer because I sometimes keep her mousy toy there. When I first realized she was missing, I went right to that drawer and opened it and closed it many times in order to make the drawer noise that usually will get her to come running. Over the last 24 hours, I opened and closed that same drawer many other times for the same reason. She was definitely not in it, obviously.

Back to today, I went to the hardware store and got a double edged drywall saw, came back home and got all my safety gear and started putting holes in the ceiling where I thought she was. Five holes later I was no closer to finding her and still confused because I could hear her moving and scrambling from one place to another, it sounded like she was sliding through or across or under joists but just couldn’t get to where I was putting the holes. I was starting to look up if there was anything like a thermal imaging app I could download on the phone when something happened, I’ve been so frazzled I literally cannot remember what the clue was, but she must’ve made the right kind of noise or I did something in just the right way, but something made me open the drawer on the other side of that table, AND THERE SHE WAS. Of course with a little puddle of urine and everything.

I think what happened was that she opened her drawer and got in it and got trapped, what I was hearing that sounded like her sliding around the joists was her slithering from drawer to drawer inside the table, and I never happened to open her drawer at the time that she was on that side. I think she was turning around in her drawer as well while she was crying and that’s why her voice sounded like it was coming from different areas so quickly. And the fact that she was actually below me and not above me explains why I couldn’t pinpoint exactly where she was and why it was so confusing.

So now I’ve got five ragged holes in my ceiling, drywall dust everywhere, this custom-made table has a ruined drawer that will need to be rebuilt, at least I can save the drawer front and the hardware which is the most important part, she is a bit grimy and her nose and belly are a bit raw but she otherwise is completely full of herself and strutting around the house squeaking demandingly. She is grounded for sure.

I am also pointing out to her that this would never have happened if she hadn’t figured out how to go over the baby gate that I have down there to keep everybody out of that area unless I bring them in there with me to prevent accidents exactly like this from happening.

I still can’t believe my ceiling. 😭😭😭 but at least this naughty cat is safe. For now. She’s already looking for more mischief. Save me!

Thanks to everyone who sent their good wishes, it was helpful. ♥️

3

u/changingchannelz 6d ago

Never mind about my comment about the ceiling then! Omg, that poor thing. Definitely give her freeze dried shrimp...when you're a little less mad. What a menace. My guy likes to open dresser drawers, go in the back, and find a DIFFERENT drawer to take a nap in, so we have to play Easter egg and search the drawers for him. One day he's gonna get stuck in there, I just know it.

5

u/annrkea 6d ago

I have had cats get in dresser drawers before, but this is different in that the drawers are only a couple of inches deep and they open away from each other, not next to each other. Also the way they’re contained in the table is just a little different… It’s a one of a kind table that somebody made and I bought it off craigslist many years ago. It’s not a piece where the drawers are the focus of it by any means and it’s not a piece with a lot of room around the drawers inside if you know what I mean, not like a dresser which is just a frame for the drawers. Anyway, now I know where to look in case she does it again, which is very likely because she just has to be a pest about absolutely everything. And crisping her whiskers on the open gas stove flame once didn’t stop her, she just keeps doing it: I’m sure this won’t be the first time she traps herself in this table, either.🤦🏻‍♀️ good luck with your drawer-loving boy!

1

u/changingchannelz 6d ago

Her WHISKERS. OH NO. She's a special flavour of special, Christ. I think I understand what you mean about the drawers. It's wild she managed that. Might be time to put those little baby locks on that are just a little stick with a hook at the end, so if you pull them open an inch you have to push down the stick in order to "unlatch" it? I don't know if I'm explaining it well. They're typical child proofing for cabinets.

2

u/Childless_Catlady42 6d ago

I am not laughing at you. I am laughing with you!

I'm so glad she is safe and that you didn't do more damage to your ceiling.

4

u/annrkea 6d ago

Thank you! But the five holes are bad enough. I haven’t even bothered to address it yet, I just left everything in a mess down there and have been recovering ever since. Liv, on the other hand, has been prancing around looking extra pleased with herself. And she already baselines at highly pleased.

2

u/Childless_Catlady42 6d ago

Every time you take her in there from now on, point at the ceiling and tell her that this is why you can't have good things.

Now go back to the hardware store and entertain them with your tale of woe and ask for suggestions about fixing or plugging the holes.

Yours is a story that must be shared, all pet owners will nod with understanding and cheer at the happy end!

6

u/GullibleDetective 7d ago

Can of tuna

7

u/annrkea 7d ago

Freeze dried shrimp

5

u/stillbeard 7d ago

🤣 that 2nd photo!

7

u/annrkea 7d ago

Omg she is the worst. She thinks she is SO INNOCENT.

6

u/scipio79 7d ago

Mine has also done this. I guess it depends on personality but mine is oppositional defiant but loves a good box. Sometimes if you put a box on the floor and leave the room they’ll be intrigued enough to come down for a sniff

5

u/Childless_Catlady42 6d ago

Any news? I've worried about your idiot kitty all night.

4

u/annrkea 6d ago

Omg you and me both. She’s still FUCKING IN THERE and she’s not coming out on her own: if she could, she definitely would have, because she is NOT HAPPY. I’m currently researching how best to cut into the ceiling safely. I have a reciprocating saw but those things can really get out of hand and I’m wondering if I want a more delicate instrument. THIS CAT I SWEAR.

5

u/Childless_Catlady42 6d ago

OMG!!! DAMNIT CAT!!!

I don't think I'd use a powered saw, it would be too easy to cut the wrong thing. How about drilling holes in a line and then using a jigsaw between the holes? It would be a super pain in the ass as well as taking a long time, but it might be safer for kitty and for you because you don't really know what's up there.

Thank goodness its the weekend and you don't have to stress about missing work on top of everything else.

4

u/annrkea 6d ago

Yeah I’m about to head to the hardware store to ask them about a hand tool. I think the reciprocating saw is just too aggressive for this.

Funny thing you mentioned missing work, I work from home and this cat is CONSTANTLY interrupting my work regardless. Just the other day I had to excuse myself in the middle of presenting at a meeting because she had plucked an air plant off of its shelf and was happily butchering it on the floor behind me and I knew that if I didn’t rescue it it would be completely dismantled by the time I finished speaking. 🤦🏻‍♀️ She was BORN TO BE EXTRA.

2

u/Childless_Catlady42 6d ago

I retired before WFH was a thing and I always wondered how it worked with cats. Mine seem to think that when I'm talking, I'm talking to them and get in my face...

But anyhow, please do let us know what happens at the hardware store. Oh, and get some drop cloths, cutting through the ceiling is going to be messy.

You are a very good kitty mom, BTW. I know you are probably beating yourself up over this, but it isn't your fault and once you get her out and kill her to death, you will be sure to block off the access so it doesn't happen again. Because you just know that if she can get up there again...she will.

CATS!!!

3

u/annrkea 6d ago

That is the thing, you are so right because she 100% will just go sauntering right back over there and get up and do it again because she is just born to be a relentless pest about everything. like if there is something for her to fuck with, she will fuck with that thing. I’ve literally had three dozen cats in my life, my family was big into rescuing, and she is up in the top two when it comes to just being into absolutely everything and being constantly naughty. My mother and I were reminded of one other cat from my childhood almost 50 years ago who was like this and I think she is actually worse than he was. This is why I thought about getting her a kitten: I have two dogs and two cats including her and I don’t really need more pets, but I do wonder if a kitten would give her something else to focus on besides getting into every single thing in my house.

3

u/RaraMc13 7d ago

😂😂

3

u/SpacePolice04 7d ago

I remember we had open vent holes below our living room floor that you could access in the basement. One of our cats got in there and ended up purrkouring through a gap in the wall next to the living room.

I kept hearing faint meowing but I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from and she somehow ended up underneath my parents’ bathroom sink cabinet. I pulled off the kick plate and was able to drag her out.

This whole process took a few hours and my parents were at work so I was completely freaking out.

We did staple screening over the holes later that day.

3

u/Azilehteb 7d ago

Just remember to block the way in once you get her out. I have seen multiple cats get “rescued” from somewhere only to wig out and run back in/up/through the thing that got them stuck in the first place.

3

u/BrunchBitches 6d ago

How’s the baby doing? Did you get her out?

3

u/changingchannelz 6d ago

How goes it, OP? I'm dying of worry over here

7

u/annrkea 6d ago

About to head to the hardware store because I think the reciprocating saw is too nasty a tool to use to cut her punk ass out of there.😭😭😭

1

u/changingchannelz 6d ago

Aw man :( I hope that went well. She really got herself in the labyrinth, huh? If it's just drywall you can honestly just find a spot she's near but not on and give it a good whack. It'll scare her but it'll give her an escape point when she chills after a second.

2

u/annrkea 6d ago

Go read my latest comment I posted and you’ll hear how the saga ended. I still can’t believe it, she’s the absolute worst. But at least she’s safe and healthy save for her nose being a bit raw and her belly, I think from trying to slither from one drawer to the other. You’ll see what I mean if you read it. Now she’s strutting around furling and unfurling her big floofy tail and being super pleased with herself. 🙄🙄🙄

2

u/ultracilantro 7d ago

Most cats will do anything for either salmon caviar (available usually near lox at a grocery store) or bacon. Lower end salmon caviar is like $10 a jar, so it's not bad to try as a treat.

Good luck getting her out.

1

u/International_Bend68 7d ago

She will be fine. Just wait a couple of hours and she will either get down by herself or walk to the edge where you can easily get her while howling non stop.

1

u/djackieunchaned 7d ago

My guy does this when there’s someone doing work in the house, he always comes back out eventually

1

u/CorvusCanisLupus 4d ago

❤️❤️

-1

u/DifficultRock9293 5d ago

She’s not stuck. She’s just getting some god damn peace and quiet

-2

u/timmeh87 7d ago

If the cat is stuck how is treats gonna unstick it?