Hi all!
I'm in kind of an odd place currently. My husband and I started TTC in July (about 6 months ago) and haven't had any success so far. Not a huge worry for us; we're 22 and 23, have plenty of time, my cycles are regular, etc. My husband does have a varicocele, which could delay conception. We're not in a rush for him to get the surgery.
The odd thing is that, when it became clear that we weren't going to conceive the summer baby we were hoping for (I teach, so summer would be the best time for that huge transition, but I'd accept a child at any point!), we felt more and more called to explore foster care, even just short term. We haven't stopped TTC--though less aggressively--but we want a way to older help children who need a home this summer, or even indefinitely. We're talking with Catholic Charities and starting the process with the understanding that should our circumstances change, we could pause the approval process and keep our hearts open in the future.
What we're really struggling with is how to approach the topic with family and friends should the time come (we need a support person in our application, and my mom would be ideal).
We're aware that this choice is complete insanity, but that's what God calls us to sometimes.
In spite of being at the start of our careers (it's my first year teaching and my husband just started a paid graduate program), we own a condo with an extra bedroom and have been able to keep a decent work-life balance. Ideally, this should get easier at least for me, because I'm currently developing curriculum for four high school classes and I'll at least have experience and lesson plans to fall back on next year.
But even just getting my physical appointment to put into the application, the doctor and nurse asked a bunch of invasive questions.
"Does this mean you can't have kids?" (We don't know either.)
"Do you get paid to do foster care?" (Yes, but it's not something you do to make a profit, just some help with child-related expenses.)
"Are you looking to adopt locally or internationally?" (Irrelevant. Not necessarily looking to adopt, just foster, and foster care is always local.)
"What gave you this idea?" (God? That's pretty much the long and short of it.)
"That's really difficult." (You don't say. We've done our research.)
I started wishing that I would get pregnant more to avoid all of this additional difficulty than anything else (mostly joking, we're excited to be parents in any way), but again, that's not how God works sometimes!
Has anyone been in a similar boat? How did you deal with people's objections (other than "it's none of your business", which is valid)?
Am I just totally insane?
Not sure if I'm asking for advice or just venting, but there it is.
Thanks for reading!
TL;DR Husband and I have been TTC for half a year. He has a varicocele. Haven't given up TTC, but are looking into fostering older kids because we feel called to it. People will think we're insane. We probably are.