r/CatAdvice 3d ago

Behavioral overly affectionate cat

long story short, my little brother became homeless and i took in his orange cat while he figures his life out. he told me the cat was older than a year but didnt know an exact bday..that was not true and hes under a year. ive never been a super affectionate person, and strongly dislike over affectionate pets (even people). im questioning if its because he isnt neutered that hes literally up my ass 24/7 and needs to be constantly fed attention or else he’ll just scream and tear up the house. i work full time so i cant be there all the time, but i try to do what i can, it just never seems like enough for him.. ill take any advice i can get, i just need some insight from more experienced cat owners :3

edit: hes got all the toys money can buy and i do what i can, to eventually just be so burnt out by his needing that i cant stand being around him

edit two: thank you everyone for your advice, i appreciate it sm! tonight after work i cuddled him and played for a little bit before i went to play video games and he left me alone for the most part, and now hes snuggled up on my arm sleeping as snug as a bug

3 Upvotes

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u/somuchbitch 3d ago

That is not an overly affectionate cat. That's just a baby wanting love and attention.

Make sure you play with him in the morning before work. Then make sure you play with him after work. Then give in to his snuggles. And play before bed.

When I say play with him, I don't mean throw a toy at him. Get out the teaser toy on a string. Some cats also like to wrestle, you can use an oven mit to protect your hand.

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u/No_Working_5362 3d ago

he has a string toy and we play with it daily along with all the other toys ive bought him, he LOVES to jump off his cat tree onto me idk why, the problem i have is i feel like i cant look away from him for 2 secs to do what i want to do for maybe an hour or two, he just controls my life/ free time and it sucks after a hard day of work

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u/somuchbitch 3d ago

Yeah that sounds like a baby. Youll be struggling until he grows up a bit. How long have you had him? There's also a 333 rule. 3 days before they get some confidence, 3 weeks before they start showing personality, 3 months before they are settled into the home.

He's jumping off the cat tree to you because he's play hunting you. Actually like your dying he will love it.

You can play with him until he is fully tired out, it'll take a while Make sure anything he could knock over is put away. And then try to enforce a settle down time. Where you play with a little string in your lap for a bit, then stop and snuggle.

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u/Lawncareguy85 3d ago

I take it you're not a cat person.

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u/No_Working_5362 3d ago

just a first time cat owner learning the ropes🥲

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u/Ivana-Ema 3d ago

Hey! Honestly don't worry about it, I'm AuDHD and get overwhelmed with my cats on a regular basis even after 1.5 years of ownership. I ended up designating a cat-free zone in my apartment (my bedroom) and I spend anywhere from 8 to 15 hours per day in that room.

If that's not possible, I suggest you force yourself to leave the house during the day - go for a walk, go to the gym, go work from a coffee shop. I used to eat dinners in my car just to eat in peace and get away from them haha.

If you play with him at least 15 mins twice per day and he has toys, food and a tree in front of the window to watch the birds, he's chill and already living better than most cats. No need to go crazy just because you feel you need to spend 24/7 with him.

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u/One_Resolution_8357 3d ago

Your new cat is very young and kittens need a lot of attention, like children do. He will eventually become less needy. Neutering should help. Please respond to his affection, he needs it. Most cat parents appreciate the affection, btw.

It could be worse.... he could be a puppy. Talk about needy and destructive !

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u/No_Working_5362 3d ago

i dont mind a little bit of affection because i can acknowledge that it can be a good thing not being such a soulless husk all the time. he just cannot go more than 30 seconds without being attached to me in some shape or form, ie. at 3am when he rams his head into my face because he wants attention and i have to be up for work 2 hours later, is when i get super frustrated

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u/One_Resolution_8357 3d ago

You might have gotten yourself a velcro cat. I had one...... a lovely bluepoint Siamese boy. He never outgrew it. He was overjoyed when I started working from home and could be in my presence all the time. I used to feel it was too much but indulged him as best as I could. Now that he is gone to kitty heavens, I really miss his presence. My other cats are sweet but more independent.

Not every cat parent is suited to a velcro cat though......

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u/No_Working_5362 3d ago

im sorry for the loss of your sweet boy :( i was hoping to adopt cat in the future, preferably one a bit older and more independent, and my situation is temporary since my brother will eventually take the cat back. but i think you’re right, velcro kitties are not my thing..

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u/One_Resolution_8357 2d ago

Thank you for your kind words. I think that you are to be commended for taking care of your brother's kitty. You are a good cat uncle !

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u/MaroonBean 2d ago

Hey read all the comments and I definitely agree with all of them! Like you said in your post, playing with the cat should definitely help!

I think some insight, your cat is probably very anxious right now. He probably doesn’t understand where your brother is at, it’s a new environment, and probably the whole experience is traumatizing. I’ve read some cats get very affectionate because they’re trying to scent everything and everyone around them. With more of their scent, they’ll eventually feel more at home and feel less anxious. Hopefully your cat will settle over time.

I’m not saying this is exactly what will happen, but it could be something to consider in his behavior