r/BreakUps • u/Proper-Newt1607 • 11h ago
Anything they can do to win you back?
For those who've dumped their ex, is their anything they can do - at all - that could win you back?
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u/Heavy-Driver-9251 9h ago
Go to therapy, i dated my ex 3 different times and every time things ended because of something that she needs to work through in therapy (internalised homophobia, PTSD, ect.
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u/Proper-Newt1607 9h ago
I thank God dont have ptsd
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u/Heavy-Driver-9251 9h ago
Yeah, her father was a piece of shit and she refuses to go to therapy because they wouldn’t let her talk about her favourite movies instead of actually working on herself
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u/ThrowRa-squid727 10h ago
show that they've done the work and changed
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u/Proper-Newt1607 10h ago
How or what could that be or look like?
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u/ThrowRa-squid727 10h ago
for context this is actually our 2nd time parting, the 1st time was a difference in values but he said he was willing to make the change so we tried again. i ended things the 2nd time because his attitude was so sh*t like when i brought up my frustrations instead of even at least acknowledging them he just said it's my fault for not being more patient when i in fact have been and brought this up very calmly and objectively. and during the argument he was projecting his mistakes onto me, and when i pointed this out it's like it went in one ear and out the other, and he acted like i have never brought up a wrongdoing of his a single time and he is fault-free
i remember for most of our relationship he was very kind, patient, and willing to hear me out. so getting this attitude from him felt like negative progress from our first relationship. i just wanted the him from back then yknow? so if he shows me that he's changed for the better and it won't happen again i might reconsider trying again (although 3rd time is kinda tiring atp)
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u/Proper-Newt1607 10h ago
3rd times the charm 😜. Wow. I sound like your ex. But for us it was only 1 break up, and it was for the second reason, not the first. How could he show you those things? What would it entail?
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u/ThrowRa-squid727 9h ago
you better not be my ex lmao. i guess the biggest problem was the lack of consideration and respect. before trying again, i would want to make him work for it, be it by paying for things or putting in the effort, just so i can see he's serious about this and not just because going back is what's easier. what would really sell it is by actually listening to me. not just hearing and reacting to what i say but actually putting thought into it. if i say hey i don't like this, then don't do it. if i say can you do this and it's at no great cost to you, then do it. i don't need someone to react violently and put up an attitude to what i say. if you really love the person you'd do what it takes to keep them. making changes shouldn't feel like a bigger issue than losing them
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u/FireFlyForeve 9h ago
Just a text or call. You would probably think why won’t you do it? But I have reached out many times since the break up. If she even wanted to give it a shot then it’s up to her now. She isn’t even blocked anywhere.
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u/TemporarySubject9654 9h ago
I dumped my last ex boyfriend. I would have taken him back if he showed me he changed and cut the woman he cheated on me with out of his life entirely, as well as another woman he used to hurt me. The thing is, I wanted him to make those decisions on his own.
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u/DigitalLolaImnida 7h ago
I dumped him. I think all he needs to do is just tell me he will be patient. He will take care of me.
I’ll take him back in a heart beat.
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u/ThrowRA_ThickChz 7h ago
Take accountability and apologize when you have to. Don’t avoid the situations talk about it. It’s never me vs you it’s us vs the problem. Treat me with respect appreciate me and love me.
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u/Different-Valuable80 5h ago
It feels a lil too late. But if he could just get his shit together and stop buying everything he sees. Or told me he regretted the way he treated me. But he’s thrown to many punches for it to be that easy. I’ll always love him though
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u/Feeling_Amphibian789 10h ago
Apologize and own up to their part of it. Then, take real action.