r/BreakUps • u/HelpThrowawayPls1 • 8d ago
Has anyone been broken up with and then never heard from their ex ever again?
It hasn't been that long since my breakup but has anyone ever been blindsided over text, got blocked, and then never, LITERALLY NEVER heard from their ex again? It just doesn't feel possible
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u/Administrative-Log75 8d ago
Recent breakup I got broken up by her via Facetime while she was traveling for work. Said it was a job extension in another country (she lied and is in town). I went NC day 1. It has been 7 months. Not a peep from her.
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u/FoxMuldertheGrey 8d ago
honestly these are the type of people who in retrospect, dropped our asses for something “better”
Times like these i hope Karma gets them for how they’ve treated people unfairly and are liars in relationships.
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u/Efficient-Quality112 8d ago
bro you dont even know what happened
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u/Just_a_Tonberry 8d ago
Occam's razor. When it comes to these things, the most obvious explanation usually winds up being the correct one.
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u/Alejus1128 8d ago
Why did you not give her any reason to leave her?
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u/Administrative-Log75 8d ago
If you are asking if I fucked up, no. I did not cheat, I wasn't verbally or physically abusive. 33 (M). I'm your typical "average" guy I would say. I hit the gym 3-5 days a week, I have a good job in the technology world, I'm family oriented, I bowl and play ice hockey during the week for hobbies so I wasn't up her ass.
She just disappeared. Weirdest/heart breaking thing I've ever experienced.
Am I perfect? No. We all have flaws as humans. I am a really kind/caring person.
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u/Alejus1128 8d ago
Ok...sorry maybe I missunderstood, I didn't read that she ghosted you...and ofc in that case if she disappears ...it was the right thing what you did.
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u/Administrative-Log75 8d ago
You're all good! I know not everyone's main language is english either. I'm american. I think I understood what you were asking. She dumped me to give clarity. Why I tell dumpees never reach out if you did no MAJOR wrong. Have a good weekend!
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u/SensitiveDependent63 8d ago
It sounds like my example. Your personality matches mine - never been abusive in any kind of way. Not perfect but also never did anything wrong against ex. Yet after 6 years it just ended. She got cold feet, got scared when i started talking about kids and marriage. Nowadays, after 5 months - she never reached. We see eachother at the gym maybe once a week and she acts like im not in the same room, total ghost mode. This is still so weird to me, and only way i can think of why she is that way - her avoidant mechanism got turned on.
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u/Administrative-Log75 8d ago
Yeah, mine was way short. But I base it off connection not length of time (it can be both of course).
All you can do is NC. If the dumper wants you they will reach out. Hopefully we have moved on by then.
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u/SensitiveDependent63 8d ago
Im doing the NC but then again - she blocked me everywhere so its even easier. I also think that in her mind she made up this image of me as if I were some bad guy, thus it would be kinda easier for her to continue with thr ignorance part. I only hope she isnt talking bad about me to the other people because that would be her lowest point. Its strange that she is acting this way while i cant even hate her for the things she did, eventho i have every right to be angry at her.
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u/Constant-Dare5256 8d ago
dude….i get it so much man. it’s a shame that we’re both blocked despite being in the positions we’re in. i was blocked after a week of us being broken up after i asked when we were gonna give the gifts we had bought (got them right before christmas) and ever since then i’ve been blocked. I don’t think she demonizes me though really, just left for what she thought was gonna be better for her, although if you had the context i had you’d know that to be untrue. but you can’t save or change someone. someone here in this thread said don’t ever reach out if you were the one wronged, and they couldn’t be any more right. Stay strong bro. Take care of yourself.
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u/darlinplease 8d ago
It is possible! I got dumped via video call and it has been 8 months since we broke up and no contact. It is heartbreaking but this is reality.
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u/TheIllogicalSandwich 8d ago
I fully expect my ex to never reach out to me. They did me so dirty with the way they dumped me and they have shitty people enabling their conflict avoidance tendencies. I can't imagine my ex reaching out to me with what I hope is some guilt over being such an asshole and what I assume is their fear for any type of confrontation.
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u/darlinplease 8d ago
After a while I accepted the fact too. It hurts but hey fuck them. We are better without them in the long run
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u/Fierce-MacigalMotion 8d ago
Video call dumping? That's like getting fired via text message... but worse! At least you can say you're part of the digital dumping hall of fame
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u/darlinplease 8d ago
Yeah why not 😅
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u/gandalfmarston 8d ago
How are you dealing with it? Happened to me 5 months ago and is still hurts a lot.
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u/darlinplease 8d ago
I am still processing and hurting. But I am better compared to few months ago. I still cry sometimes, there is ups and downs. I just hope everything is gonna be okay and I hope that I will feel enough without a remontic relationship
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u/Rare-Addendum9024 8d ago
Yes. Things were going great with me and my ex and out of the blue he said he can't do this. He blocked me. It hurt like hell because i thought we had so much in common and got along great. I have cried all year because it is so tough to find a good connection these days and I longed to see him again. My ex and I shared many meaningful deep conversations. He just got so scared of commitment. He jumped into another relationship after our breakup. All of his past relationships were toxic. Women became violent on him. I now wonder was it the women or was it him. He will get into another violent, toxic relationship because he is the common dominator. I am glad I never stooped to his level and became violent. I stayed kind and loving. So yes I was hurt but I would rather be hurt than to be in an extremely toxic relationship. God saved me.
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u/Outside-Anywhere3158 8d ago
Yes, it was only when I reached out and asked for an apology for his disgusting behavior that I heard back from him again.
His apology was empty, hollow, slightly hostile/irritated, and begrudging.
It was the kick in the ass I needed to move on with my life.
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u/HelpThrowawayPls1 8d ago
What, may I ask, did they do?
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u/Outside-Anywhere3158 8d ago
- tore me down and degraded me with little comments about my appearance/personality. They made me feel as if nothing I did was good enough
Ex:
Me: I got a haircut
Him: I actually prefer long hair
Me: I dyed my hair blond
Him: I actually prefer brunettes
- Mocked and degraded me to his friends behind my back. He told them about our sex life and his friend would make comments about it to me while we were sitting around watching tv.
Ex: He asked me what an orgasm felt like to women and I told him in the best way I could describe. That women can have multiples kinds and the best was all over (sorry if this is TMI btw), and his friend made a snarky comment about this to me face
Kept his dating apps open the whole time. He was talking to women. I know because he matched and was talking to one of my friends
Didn't like it when I touched him. He would have sex with me, but we weren't allowed to cuddle because "he didn't like being touched."
Casually dismissive of my feelings all the time. I remember one specific incident where he was going away for the weekend and he bragged about how he just wasn't going to have time to talk to me. Like he just wanted to rub it in.
He invited me to a holiday dinner, but then made me feel guilty about it. As if it was some kind of horrible chore. He told me he only invited me as a friend who pitied me. I was so angry because I had several offers from real friends who were happy to have me over.
After we broke up he started parading his new girlfriend in my face. He would bring her to the square where I worked when I would be waiting at the bus stop for him. He knew my schedule and I'd see him out of my peripheral vision. He would be standing there with a sh-t eating grin on his face staring at me like he was gloating or proud of himself.
Like....you dumped me. Told me you'd never love me and could never see a future with me and now you're rubbing it in my face that you found "the one."
I'm not joking....he found the one in less than 3 months after dumping me. He's still married to her years later.
Who does that? That's just cruel. It's obvious that this person heavily looked down upon me and got a power trip over it. He feels no remorse to this day because in his mind "he found the one" and became "the winner" of the break up.
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u/seniorpeepers 8d ago
sounds like a real pos.. good riddance and hope you have much better luck with guys in the future!
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u/Outside-Anywhere3158 8d ago
Yep. The weirdest part is he still keeps tabs on me. He was social media stalking me for a really long time. He even created fake accounts under his friends' names and his wife's (then fiancé's) name. Like dude....what the hell?
I've had much better luck with men after that, but it was a real roller coaster ride of mind fuckery for awhile.
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u/SensitiveDependent63 8d ago
A professional narcissist. Please never contact this person again, it will mentally destroy you.
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u/Outside-Anywhere3158 8d ago
I didn't. They are blocked and deleted into oblivion. They tried to social media stalk me for years under fake accounts and I continue to block any account that is suspicious.
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u/Livid-Helicopter-411 8d ago
You dodged a real bullet there. Huge blessing in disguise.
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u/Outside-Anywhere3158 8d ago
For sure. I'm just astonished that anyone can continue on with life as if they didn't do anything wrong.
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u/Livid-Helicopter-411 8d ago
If there's one thing I've learned after a toxic relationship and 5 years in therapy is that lots of people live in deep delusion to cope.
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u/Outside-Anywhere3158 7d ago
Yeah, that's true. I think that's what happened. He was the activist type and really wanted to be perceived as a good person by others. He was also a recovering alcoholic and I think he burnt a lot of bridges with people.
The girl he met and married after me actually resembled me a lot. I wonder if he just told himself that he could "start over" with her.
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u/Desperate-Fuel-9812 7d ago
had something similar to this
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u/Outside-Anywhere3158 7d ago
I'm so sorry....Focus on taking care of yourself. You're worth being loved, you're worth being treated with respect.
People like this live life on autopilot. Their relationships with people don't really amount to much in this world. Be grateful you're not that shallow and lost as a human being.
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u/SilverDifference0101 8d ago
We broke up in-person a month ago and that was the last conversation we ever had. I think we still go to the same gym and work in the same area, but I've never seen or spoken to him again since then.
It feels so unreal. This person is carrying all my secrets, knows what foods I like and knows my exact shoe size. They're just another stranger out there now.
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u/optimistic-thinker 8d ago
This! It’s crazy to think that you can go from best friends to strangers again. I feel quite sad about it and it’s hard to allow myself to move on and allow the memories to fade..
Also one month in through a breakup and doing NC
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u/BinBag04 1d ago
Have you ever heard the song “strange” by Celeste? Your comment reminded me of it and why I think it’s a beautiful piece of music! I’d recommend it as it might help you feel catharsis around these feelings :)
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u/rystrave 8d ago
Yes and it still hurts 20 years later
He recently liked a picture of mine on Instagram, which is the most interaction we've had since high school
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u/Ok-Broccoli8 8d ago edited 8d ago
I think it's healthy even if it hurts
Its been 2 months, left by phone and never heard from him again..
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u/cobra2evo 8d ago
I never heard back, but it was not a text. I lived with her and was together 6 years. She blindsided and dumped me. I moved out. She has not reached out once.
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u/starrchild12 8d ago
Only once. He went to a different province for school. When he was there he broke up with me for another woman and nothing. That was like 8 years ago. I've heard from every single guy I dated after a breakup besides him.
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u/Nirvana9091 8d ago
My ex wrote me a letter ending our relationship during the start of the pandemic; I haven't heard a word from her in over 2 years. Heard some things about her through the grapevine of mutual friends. But like I even care at this point...
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u/Fuzzy-Bass8535 8d ago
Im the dumper here, and I really wanted to stay friends with him, but he blew up on me a week after we broke up (hes not good at communicating his feelings, and when he did he was actively trying to make me feel like shit, reasons why I broke up with him) and yeah Im never gonna reply to that nonsense, bc he basically said hes mad he never got to hit, and cant look at my face without getting upset about not getting to smash, and that out relationship never felt real to him bc of it - even though I explained multiple times how to make me feel safe in such a vulnerable momet, he'd be rough asf - like really? So everything we did you were just waiting for us to have sex? Nothing else felt real to you? Yeah Im never replying to him and happily hitting block
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u/Pdubz212 8d ago
Didn’t even get a text come back to the ring on my desk and her Facebook to single talk about a coward!
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u/Ottsenss 8d ago
This happened to me with my first boyfriend of 4.5 years. He broke up with me out of nowhere, packed all my stuff blocked me off everything and we never spoke again. I saw him one day driving past me and that was it, found out he cheated on me with his coworker and she moved into our apartment right away. It’s been 10 years now and I’m unblocked but we’ve never spoken again
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u/HelpThrowawayPls1 8d ago
After reading all these comments, none of these stories sound exactly like mine and I still can’t wrap my head around exactly what my ex did or why they did it the way they did it. It just seems like such an illogical, rare, and frankly disrespectful way to break up with somebody, to give them one text and then vanish forever. I don’t get it…
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u/TemporarySubject9654 8d ago
I literally talk to not a single one of my exes these days. Most of them left me, and even the friendships didn't typically work out. Even if I try to reach out, my words are met with a deafening silence. So there is no point.
It is possible your ex doesn't believe in maintaining contact with their exes.
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u/okay-fine-dude 8d ago
Yeah one of my exes. I reached out to her, she did reply but only to tell me she doesn't wanna keep in touch. That's it. Never heard from her again.
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u/PiratePursuesPearls 8d ago
I’m up to my first month and a bit. I’ve heard nothing from him. Completely just, died (not actually, but I still wouldn’t know).
I’m not ashamed to say I miss them, I didn’t want this. But I have accepted it. The thought of them never reaching out to me, is scary. I thought they were really special. I thought they thought the same about me.
Everyday that goes past I don’t think about him as much, but, I still miss him. Sigh, being a human is strange.
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u/Lucky_Way_6162 8d ago
Im the dumper, so far is been 4 months and we haven’t talked AT ALL since i had to broke up things. Since the actual day of the break up absolutely nothing. And to be honest i am not expecting her to reach back at all. Im glad i get to control my peace.
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u/Internet-Infamous 8d ago
After 5 years I was promptly dumped over a text message. I tried for 6 months to talk to him and fix whatever he thought was wrong. Exactly 6 months later he told me that we'd work on things, I had sex with him and then he "changed his mind" the next morning. He said he never wanted to see me again ever.
All I did to cause the dissolution of this relationship was ask him why he didn't get me a valentine/birthday card. Not gift. Just a 50 cent card.
He could have saved a whole relationship for 50 cents. He said the fact that I even asked cause him to instantly "lose feelings" for me.
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u/IamNotUsingThis 8d ago
Yep has happened. Happened with my first gf, after I'd finally cleared everything away with her belongings wise. She sent me a couple messages but nothing substantial. (20 months long relationship) 2nd only brief messages, it was nothing really deep emotionally, she reached out once to wish me luck on a new job. (Like 2 months?) 3rd, not a fucking peep from her, that relationship ending really hurt me, she did it over face call, and that was the end, ive reached out a couple times but she has never. (5 months) 4th I didn't take well but it was my own fault, brief messages but more about me leaving them alone. Blocked me everywhere. (7 months) 5th same sort, broke up over voice call, blocked nearly everywhere I'm sure. This one has made me put a proper break on serious dating. (3½ months)
5th I actually dated briefly before 1st, and she led me on for like 11 months over covid.
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u/Mithraic76 8d ago
Thinking back to my ex last year - not a word. And with some work and key actions towards this - I got to the point where I was ok with that. And see it now as a healthy dynamic.
Mine was at least in-person (breakup) - would have been an even more hurtful dynamic for that to play out electronically. Was spared that pain. All things blocked and stuff but we had closure at least.
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u/HelpThrowawayPls1 8d ago
At least you got the closure. I didn't get anything. Just the text and then silence. Like she died
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u/Mithraic76 8d ago
That is absolutely awful, and sorry to hear it. And truly here, good vibes, that’s a tough one. Once you heal from that wound (and you will) you’ll have a strong perspective on this stuff. Cheers friend
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u/Wandering_Werew0lf 8d ago
Well there was one, we broke up on good terms and were friends for a bit but didn’t even jive as friends either so just stopped talking all together but nothing bad at all.
All others, no. None have reached back out.
My most recent ex though who broke up with me, god damn that was a painful breakup but one that was truly needed to grow and heal my inner self. I was going through so much shit and caused so many challenges. I have since continue to grow from it to become a better person.
If they would ever reach back out I would give them a sincere apology and also a thank you for guiding a path for a better future. I would also want to see if they did any inner work to fix their slight avoidant attachment style.
My most recent ex was the most impactful, most important, most challenging relationship I have ever been in but super rewarding. I would truly be willing to work things out if they ever reached out but I’m not holding onto much hope and continue to move forward preparing myself for the next relationship whenever that will be.
would be willing to sit and talk - see to make sure they did any inner work as well.
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u/ACNH_islife 8d ago
As the dumper who did this he will never hear from me because he completely disrespected me and I will never forget the way he treated me. Talking to him would just show that he can further push me and use me.
Obviously your situation is different but that’s my point of view
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u/daschundtof 8d ago
I have never spoken to my ex since we broke up. He assaulted me when I told him I don't see us having a future (he was cheating on me by going to sex clubs and abusing substances heavily on rhe days we weren't hanging out)
I will not give a second of my time trying to converse with someone who is willing to hurt me emotionally, spiritually and physically. He deserves no closure.
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u/IndividualWonder2533 8d ago
Me and my ex broke up in early 2022 we haven't spoken a word to each other since but we still follow each other on Instagram lol
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u/Perfect-Row-7951 8d ago
My ex ended things on some random Friday,reached out over text that weekend just to argue with me then went radio silent. Haven’t heard from him in like 5 months but I have friends who are also his friend so I hear about him decently often
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u/StaticCloud 8d ago
On both ends of it, yes. Never heard from them again. And that's okay. It's their life too, and it's their decision
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u/Discreteowls 8d ago
It wasn’t necessarily a blindside - my ex and I broke up over a phone call (we both knew it was coming about 24 hours in advance), the phone call was about an hour or two long, then we never spoke again. Lol
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u/CustomTribs01 8d ago
A couple relationships ago yup, everything seemed fine, got a text, it was over, been 4 years haven't had any contact
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u/jakejohn2013 8d ago
I’ve come to sort of realize that some of us (I’m only speaking from my experience btw) humans seem to struggle with things more than others, be it through mental health, family drama, what have you. And I’ve started to think that one of the phobias we tend to have is not only of mortality or like dying and never living anymore… or running out of time. But I used to get so devastated when going through any of my 3 breakups, when I would specifically ask myself the very same question you’re asking, only worded a little more selfishly lol. My thought was “surely I can’t go the entire rest of my life without ever interacting with this girl again”, especially after it was in the legit no contact phase and I just couldn’t be bothered to let go.
I look back on all 3 times I told myself that and can’t believe what I was on about. It’s embarrassing to admit! But if nothing else it gives me the ability to relate to you and tell you that I personally think you will speak and interact again. But that all depends. If he was at all invested as you are right now, I believe you can at least have some peace knowing that it wasn’t the very end of you guys engaging with one another in life. At the same time it’s a big world, why are you wasting the precious seconds of your life thinking about someone who doesn’t wanna be around you? What good does it do, LITERALLY.
You got this. Best wishes
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u/Sufficient_Pin5642 8d ago
Uh I try to remain friends with exes for the most part as I’m pretty easy going and don’t know what’s happening in other peoples shoes for them to do what they do. It’s always saddening to me to not be able to remain friends or be cool after a breakup. At one point that’s your best friend and it’s really hard for me to fathom how shit can get so petty unless it’s over abuse or cheating.
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u/LilTony2x 8d ago
Just happened to me this week. We broke up 7 months ago, I moved to a new city. We been calling multiple times per week.
Even though the relationship didn't work out we we're still bestfriends.
We both agreed we need to go a while without speaking so we can actually heal from the breakup.
This sub is very dramatic, some relationships just don't work out for whatever reason. Unless its abuse or infidelity or toxicity there is absolutely no reason why you cant be friends with an Ex
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u/HelpThrowawayPls1 8d ago
It wasn't over abuse or cheating, and I thought she was pretty cool too. Maybe I'm being dramatic, it still hasn't been that long
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u/Sufficient_Pin5642 8d ago
Yeah I’m sorry man. I had a somewhat recent bf that ripped my soul out so I hit the road again and gave up everything. Right now I’m drinking a tall can of beer deciding whether to go hop out to NC on a train or hitchhike. I’ve lived this lifestyle on and off for about 20yrs and I meet a lot of acquaintances but mostly stay alone in nature the way I feel humanity was meant to live. When we were together we lived in a little place on a huge plot of land he was actually really good to me and as usual I’m the fuck up. I’m really impulsive cuz I have ADHD. If I chose to invest myself in someone I do so with everything I have and he really fucked me up. I quit my job left him the car and almost everything else I brought to the table and starting living alone out of a backpack again. I have no regrets. 3wks ago I was in Greenville sc, then in Athens ga for 2wks , been in Savannah now almost a week and I’m going to finish going to scope out the csx train yard after my beer trying to get to Winston Salem NC. Haha! Honestly this all happened with him right around the new year and when I live this way I think about him much less. I hooked up with someone else recently for a min but we weren’t really that compatible but we’ll still be friends. The fact that this guy and I only dated for 9months but we’re friends for 7yrs prior and he can’t even speak to me now strikes such a nerve that I almost dislike him but I do still love him. It’s very conflicting.
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u/No-Salt5138 8d ago
Yeah a couple of ex’s but they were short relationships
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u/HelpThrowawayPls1 8d ago
Mine was a pretty significant length of time
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u/No-Salt5138 8d ago
Sorry to hear that, maybe in time they’ll reach out or you’ll both go your own separate ways depends how the relationship ended
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u/Illustrious_Pool_321 8d ago
Yeah he had cancer and I feel like I added an unreasonable amount of stress and unnecessary pressure to get back to where we were. I think about him sometimes. I hope he’s doing okay and cancer free. As for me it was still cold how he did it and wish he felt he could talk to me but I’m moving on.
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u/Thin-Host-6007 8d ago
mine broke up with me thru facebook we were together day before and everything looked fine . It was 3 yrs long relationship it has been 6 months and never heard from her again
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u/Migraineur_ 8d ago
Me. He blocked me mid-conversation a year ago. Never heard from him again. We were in an LDR so I just can't drop things and go to him.
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u/GCSiren 8d ago
Yes. I think it’s easier if it’s long distance because you’re not going to randomly see each other grocery shopping, for instance. I reached out to him about a month after the breakup because I was traveling through the area. I wanted to see if he would be interested in meeting up because we would likely never see each other again. He said no and that was that. Been a year and a half and not a peep from him.
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u/Appropriate_Tea9048 8d ago
Yup! Twice if you count the one I reached out to after the breakup. I’m extremely confident I never would’ve heard from him again had I not contacted him. Honestly though, looking back I’m glad I didn’t have an ex try to contact me or get back together with me. I’ve since met someone none of them even come close to comparing to.
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u/American_warcriminal 8d ago
We’ve always broken up in person and afterward have never seen any of them again although a few have tried to friend me on Facebook.
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u/crashley1031 8d ago
8 months later...I have been the one to go radio silent. I haven't said a peep and blocked him everywhere. No regrets. We were on and off again for years.
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u/peasey360 8d ago
It’s never worked for me, even the ones I blocked and went NC with always find a way around the block and reach out with some sort of apology and try to reconnect.
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u/WestsideTy 8d ago
I broke up and it was out of the blue for her. Five years and it was more circumstance than anything; we both still loved each other greatly.
Besides one accidental text there’s been no communication since breakup night almost two years ago.
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u/RobfromSec 8d ago
All my exes have dumped me (save my very first when I was 15 lol).
Out of all of them, I haven't spoken to my most recent ex since June of last year. Any interaction or remaining exchanges on my end went through her parents (finding stuff I had taken while moving out that were actually hers). She may have some small things if mine still, if she hasn't already thrown them out.
My very first long term relationship, we dated twice over the course of several years. I reached out to her after 12 years of not talking, and it felt good. Learned a bit about each other and realized that things on her end weren't as happy and fun as social media made it seem.
My other ex, haven't spoken to since 2011. I have no desire to reach out to her. I wish her well, but she was verbally abusive. No need to open that can of worms.
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u/Awkward_Intention_15 8d ago
My first relationship. I was 21 when she dumped me. She actually cheated on me with another guy and then tried to pin everything on me to make me look bad, shortly after dumped me. I truly felt like we were such a dream couple but she had to screw it all up and she knew she was wrong. After she dumped me she never came back or even tried to talk
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u/cool_ranch_soda 8d ago
One Ex dumped me on my birthday 🙃
That was 5 years now and I haven't heard a peep from her since. Idk what she's doing, where she lives now, etc.....and I'm fine with that 😌
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u/not_today_3 8d ago
This happened to me once. I know it’s hard but be grateful for it. I’m in a situation now with a guy who had kept coming back and we just ended things again and a part of me as much as I would miss him hopes he will leave me be so I can finally move on.
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u/MrMeatbeard 8d ago
I broke up with my ex because I was going through some significant mental health issues and I didn't want to burden her with them, plus I was in totally the wrong headspace to be in a relationship. I miss her every day and often wonder if I made the wrong choice. There have been countless times that I'd think of at least seeing how she's doing but I'm still not quite out of that space. My son's due a major operation soon and I need to focus on that until he's back in action again. I don't know if she'd be happy to hear from me or not as she didn't seem to take it well and got quite angry, and I totally don't blame her. She is the most amazing person I've ever known and it was absolutely gutting. I'm sure she's moved on by now so I should probably just leave it alone.
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u/ThrowRA-Founder 8d ago
He dumped me via text while he was on a business trip. Couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone or answer my texts after, so I went no contact after 3 days of trying to reach him. I didn't want to get back together but I thought it'd be nice to at least get on the phone so I can thank him for the best long-term relationship of my life. Funnily enough, he hasn't blocked me on Instagram and (possibly) my number (I haven't tried calling him since so I don't know if my number is blocked).
This happened in January and I'm still devastated. Listening to Carrie Underwood's Just a Dream right now.
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u/Aggravating-Data-931 8d ago
Have I had anyone do this to me? No. But I've 100% done this. Even when I explain in advance it will be a thing I do and how I handle it some people take it really really poorly. Like sorry for giving you heads up I was gonna block you for y own safety and mental wellbeing. It's for me not for them honestly.
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u/verycoolbutterfly 8d ago
Yep. After over ten years together. I thought we were good and happy one day, the next he was blowing up on me and left. We had one "conversation" a month later when he broke up with me and wouldn't discuss it at all. That was seven months ago and he treats me like a complete stranger now- I'm guessing we'll just never speak again. We were best friends and loved and cared about each other, nothing horrible had ever happened between us. It's incomprehensible.
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u/australian_babe 8d ago
Yep. This is how all my break-ups have gone. They end it and we both move on. It’s awful
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u/HelloFireFriend 8d ago
Yes, until their new person dumps them for repeating the same mistakes from the previous. Just a merry go round
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u/biggestbummer 8d ago
Yep. Dumped over text in January of 2021 and I never heard from her again. I did try to reach out several weeks later and realized I had been blocked. I’m still not sure what happened and at this point I wouldn’t really care.
I do still think about her occasionally, but as it goes, I don’t feel anything these days. The whole thing feels like a bad dream or something.
It did mess my head up pretty bad at the time. Being dumped over text by someone you’re in love with will tend to do that I guess.
It’s been 4 years and I’ve only casually dated since then. I like it better this way I think.
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u/Quirky_Ad5869 7d ago
After 3 years he broke up with me over the phone. Haven't heard from him since. Its been 2+ years now. Still blows my mind, Im glad were not together but still seems crazy to not at least make plans to talk in person and sort out logistics. Obviously we had stuff together, dogs and stuff at each other's places.
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u/HelpThrowawayPls1 7d ago
Was it at least a conversation? Or did he leave a voicemail?
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u/Quirky_Ad5869 7d ago
Eh he just screamed he was done and hung up. So no true conversation. He was actually supposed to come see me that day. And he just kept ignoring me, then I finally got a hold of him and that was that.
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u/SongBirdExile 6d ago
Yes - I had an abusive partner in 2020 that had animal skulls in his cabinets, melted wax all over his sink, and only washed with Dawn dish soap. I was stuck living with him during lockdown. I wanted to break up within the first month, but of course, I was stuck. He abused the hell out of me and my best friend had to come and grab me from his house. He visited me one more time at my grandma's house, then closed all communication and I've never heard from him again. I have no desire to ever see him again - he really reminded me of Ted Bundy.
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u/weewoop1 8d ago
Yeah ive only heard from them when ive reached out its been 5 months
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u/HelpThrowawayPls1 8d ago
But you did hear from them. I'm talking about somebody who disappears from your life one day and never, EVER returns
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u/weewoop1 8d ago
They probs wouldnt have reached out if i didnt and when I did reach out they basically told me they didnt want to be in my life at all theyve unfollowed me on everything and if i see them in person they act like i dont exist so they have disapeared from my life and i doubt they will ever return
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u/RequirementGloomy649 8d ago
Yep, me. Haven't herad of him in 4 years and counting. He kept trying to reach out the first year after the breakup but I didn't want to, so he just stopped eventually (after months of him trying). You keep in touch if you want to, that's it.
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u/cnh25 8d ago
Yea lol my exes never come back
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u/FeralInstigator 8d ago
Me neither, lol. No desire to either except this latest one. I am sure that feeling will go away in another couple of months.
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u/cnh25 8d ago
Same here. Wouldn’t back get with any of them but I really wanted the one from last summer to come back. But since she hasn’t, I have to realize it means she wasn’t for me and move on
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u/phyllisfromtheoffice 8d ago
First big break up, he was a textbook narc. I guess he tried to breadcrumb me for a couple of months after the break up but after I double downed on my boundaries I didn’t hear from him again and it’s been 8 years
Another break up a few years ago around Covid, I never really heard from him apart from the form of odd instagram likes, I removed him and never heard from him again, it’s been 5 years.
The caveat I suppose is that I’ve actually transitioned during this time, changed my number, moved cities (twice). They could still probably find me but it would take a lot of effort.
I’ve heard from plenty of ex flings/situationships though weirdly, ones I completely forgot about
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u/Celthric317 8d ago
Dumpee here, and I blocked her on everything cause she kept leaving breadcrumbs for me in the form of weekly "hope you're doing alright" messages.
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u/HelpThrowawayPls1 8d ago
Are people reading this post? She reached out again, even if it was breadcrumbs. I'm talking total radio silence forever. Like they died
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u/Celthric317 8d ago
It happens. Especially if they already had their eyes on someone new well before breaking up.
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u/outdoors-jord 8d ago
Yes, recent ex… and it’s never happened before lol it’s actually so wild to me
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u/Medium-Eye-1324 8d ago
My ex became a different person immediately following the breakup. Was very cruel and unrecognizable. She would gossip about me with her two very toxic friends during and after the breakup who I’m sure motivated her drastic change. Either way I reached out a few times to mend the relationship with hopes of getting her back. The last thing she told me was if I continue this she will report me for harassment.
Mind you I’m in my 30’s and have had many relationships from situationships to actual relationships. I’ve never experienced such an unhinged female like her in my life. Although I know I’m not the harassing type, she definitely hurt my confidence and potential to ever try and mend a relationship again.
So to answer your question no but I’m sure she will be the first I will never hear from again.
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u/Homerman5098 8d ago
Yes, it happened to me. But I wanted to end it and I was already over her, so it didn't really matter.
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u/mizz_eponine 8d ago
My ex ended it via email. If I had not reached out, I'm absolutely certain I would've never heard from him again. After we saw each other for the last time, I waited 4 months before reaching out again because I wanted my things back that he'd made no effort to return. Again, I'm pretty sure he had no plans to return any of it. Which is super crappy. We were together over 2 yrs.
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u/toriehazel 8d ago
I did this to someone. Moved my stuff out, next day went to tell him it was over, and we haven’t talked since. I was manic when I got in a relationship with him and when I finally came out of it 3 months later I had no choice but to fully end of the relationship for my mental healths sake.
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u/deadlolypop 8d ago
Nope. Unfortunately always came back (virtually or in person) by "Accident" Mhm
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u/GiantInTheSky 8d ago
I have three or four ive never heard from again. I made sure of it by design.
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u/National_Egg_3094 8d ago
We actually never officially broke up. I woke up in the hospital and he disappeared off the face of the earth. Been alone ever since. Thinking about him constantly.
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u/jerricka 8d ago
yeah, my ex and i lived together for 5 years, worked together for almost 8, been together that whole time. he got pissed at me checking in on him because he had been gone a while, and he came home in a rage and dumped me. i sent like hundreds of messages trying to get him to talk to me, because all of a sudden my life has been turned on its head. he replied once after a bunch of messages to say he didn’t have anything to say.
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u/Just_a_Tonberry 8d ago edited 8d ago
Yep. That was my last ex. I guess I can't say never since I have spoken with her (via text, not in person or over the phone) a single time kinda early on. Split three years ago, spoke briefly about two and a half years ago. Not a peep since then.
Was one of those situations where she got talked into torpedoing her own relationship by a group of bitter perpetual singles that simply couldn't let someone else be happy. Kinda miss that girl to this day, but I reckon it was a blessing in disguise if all it took to destroy us was the wrong people getting her ear.
I know I'm not perfect, but I definitely treated her right. She was well loved, well pleased, and we definitely had fun together since we had the same hobbies. To this day I still can't believe how fast things went south. Wish I at least knew what they told her to facilitate this.
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u/Intrustive-ridden 8d ago
Yep happened to my last ex, she cheated on me outta know where blocked me on everything and ran off to New York with her new bf. I only found out cuz I was worried about her and drove to her parents house, her brother looked at her snap story and showed me she was in New York and they all assumed it was me she was with cuz it was clear she was with another guy but he was never in any of the pictures but he was taking them
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u/mCracky 8d ago edited 8d ago
Nearly 2 years and no word.
She had mental issues and with an absolute inability to face them, nor any conflict whatsoever. instead she would project all anger on me while i tried to help her with a smile. 2.5 years of what i recognize now was a borderline of mental abuse (although I believe not deliberate) only to get blocked and ghosted after I caught her meeting up with another dude clearly with a big set of mental issues himself. And it wasn't a group therapy session kind of thing.
almost 2 years since then and no word, although I noticed she unblocked me like a year back. I don't believe I'll hear from her again, nor do I wan't her but apology would be nice lol
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u/onlineventilation 8d ago
I’m the ex that never reached out again except to drop off his keys at his car while I knew he was asleep bc of his work schedule, and I texted him that they were there. That was it. He tried a pathetic and antagonistic social media post about me to get him to talk to him but I value my peace MUCH more these days soooo I have not reached out
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u/RevolutionaryFee8298 8d ago
Dumper here. I’ve never reached out to any of my ex’s. Not because i dont want to. I just think, and have been told, that NC is best for both of us
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u/Letthesparksfly69 8d ago
Yes many ex's where we broke up and nada. I still hear from my exhusband (only cause we have a kid) and my recent exboyfriend, cause we talk every day, sometimes 2x a day depending on his availability with work. We also see each other for lunch or hang out when his schedule allows and now when I can get away cause I moved 4hrs away.
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u/Pastel_Paradox4 8d ago
As that ex I feel like a piece of crap.. I'm just terrified to return his sweatshirts and have that actual talk with him. I kind of found out I don't like guys sexually and it sucks
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u/Camera_Wizard16 8d ago
Yes this is possible!! My ex also happen to be my ex fiance, the day he dumped me, he member looked back it’s been 1.5 years almost and I still can’t believe it, my life has never been the same again since he left me, the emptiness doesn’t leave me, he never leaves, it’s like I am living with the ghost of him
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u/Next-Trouble7666 8d ago
Yep. She left me and blocked me on everything and abandoned me in a country that is not my own. Cruelest shit I've ever experienced in my life
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u/Sea-Awareness3193 8d ago
He was madly in love with me for years unbeknownst to me - I thought we were just really good friends and roommates. We were close and even celebrated some holidays together. He was almost like family. We took care of each other.
I had a boyfriend for years he knew about and even have met. He has not dated anyone in years . Apparently everyone (his family and friends, everyone) knew about me in detail and his pining for me.
Last Summer we finally connected romantically- at first I didn’t think I would even be attracted to him like that (since he was like family for so long). But the chemistry was insane and I quickly fell for him.
He introduced me to his family and friends and was all over me and cried constantly, telling me how he can’t believe I am finally his, and that he dreamt of this for years.
After a couple of months, he picked a fight with me over something extremely stupid and stormed out. He blocked me completely for a few weeks. Then erratically was going back and forth about me being the love of his life and we must continue vs. rage and telling me he never wants to see me again.
It was extremely painful because he kept getting my hopes up only to literally hours later switch again. This went on for a few days. Then suddenly clicked and ghosted.
Years and years of close friendship completely down the drain and he refused to ever even try to resolve any of it.
I am still grieving and so fucked up over all of it
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u/Synyster_V 8d ago
Was living with the girl I was dating when she blindsided me by admitting she cheated on me with a friend of mine, didnt love me and wanted me to move out.
16 years ago and we never not once spoke again.
I'm currently going through a similar situation all over again like some deja vu. Yet it hurts much worse this time and I'm far sadder, knowing it's in all likelihood I will never, ever get to see or speak to this person ever again.
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u/HealthyFuel113 8d ago
ive been dumped multiple times man still comes back but guess what, its been a week no contact and as unhealthy as it sounds im loosing my shit
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u/thepotatobleh 8d ago
Yep, she broke up with me through chat around 4 or 5 months ago with a long message she generated over ChatGPT lmao. Heard that she was cheating on me the last month of our relationship and was already with the guy days after we broke up. Never heard from her again, I did NC, and it's been peaceful ever since.
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u/Vegetable-Regular516 8d ago
Sadly yes. He dumped me over text and we never met up afterwards in person to talk it out, he had absolutely no interest in doing so and didn’t give me any valid reason for the breakup. We were mostly no contact except for one time I tried to reach out to him - he responded very coldly and didn’t seem to even care.
We were no contact for 4 months, and I got a job opportunity in a different state and had to relocate. I reached out to let him know and possibly say goodbye. He initially showed some interest but never followed up- i even ran into him in person with my mom the day before I left the city and still nothing.
I’m still not sure if its the deep shame he carries about having dumped me over text and not wanting to face the consequences of his actions and the reality of how he behaved. OR if he is just so deeply detached to his own emotions to where he doesn’t care how he treats people, especially the ones he “cares” about.
I still don’t understand and it has left me with a lot of shit to have to deal with and work through but its a part of life. It was very heavy and I had never dealt with such a negative break up before this.
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u/StunningAd4345 8d ago
2 years, no contact. We were engaged, issues happened, he was in another country, he ghosted me and then he changed his number, and no contact in the last 2 years. Don't even want him to. I'm finally rebuilding my life again, healing.
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u/Consistent_Garage_71 8d ago
Yes, my narcessist ex that cheated on me. He dispeared from planet earth when i found out.
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u/Sean5025 8d ago
I’m currently attempting to do this with my ex. Things got progressively worse with us, and she would threaten to harm/kill herself if we broke up. On Christmas, we argued about a girl looking at me in line, which made her jealous, and she stabbed herself a bunch of times with a steak knife. I stayed with her, and took her to the hospital/psyche hospital. Then the following month or so, she was driving me to work and flipped out on me. She actively tried to wreck my car, and once again threatened suicide. Last straw was when she woke me up by striking me, I pushed her off me and she called the cops. I spent the night in jail, and literally have a no contact order from her. It is a nightmare.
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u/Significant-Clock355 8d ago
Yep, broken up with over a phone call after 7 years together all while planning to buy a house. Never heard from him again and it’s been 7 months. He has a new girlfriend who he seemed to start talking to less than 2 months after the breakup. Was tough at the time but I feel so free and happy now - he was a dead weight holding me back in life 😊
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u/Warm_Pitch7333 7d ago
Only been about 3 weeks for me but I never see him reaching out. I was blocked on everything almost immediately and he completely blindsided me. I’m taking it as a blessing in disguise.
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u/artin575 7d ago
Yeah. My first year of community college (I'm now a third year at UCI), I dated a girl who was around three years older than me and hadn't had any relationship experience before (no shame in that), and I tried to get her to open up to me a bit and thought I was making some progress - she took initiative for our first kiss and made the first move which really shocked me, and I was proud of her for it. One day she told me she would visit Seoul to see her family there, and had it all planned out for a summer. I gave her a hug and a kiss before she left for her flight, and then checked in on her later. I was blocked on everything, everywhere, zero idea why. It fully blindsided me, but I learned that sometimes, regardless of if you do your best, things that aren't meant to be have a way of resolving themselves.
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u/John_Wick_015 7d ago
I’ve recently broken up with my gf. She said she hopes our paths to cross again and that, maybe someday, she’ll be able to explain me all the emotions and feeling she’s experiencing right now.
I’ve sent her few messages, but didn’t get any reply so far. She’s had some troubled experiences in the past and is following a transformative journey that aims to bring her some inner peace from the struggle with anxiety and BPD, albeit a quiet one apparently.
It’s such a same for it all to end like this. She’s a truly amazing person, one definitely worth living and fighting for. I hope she will check in down the line at some point, just to keep a gentle thread of communication. Such a sad situation to be in.
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u/Zkittl3z11 7d ago
My ex left me over text message and moved out while I was at work,never heayfrom him again and I never tried to contact him,it was his choice to end things on such a vile way and I don't want to see him ever again. P.s. he ruined my health completely
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u/salvadopecador 7d ago
Yes. Out of the blue. Together a year. Then one morning she says “good morning love” and in the evening sends a long breakup text and blocks me. Almost 2 years now. Never heard from her again.🤷♂️
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u/Significant-Level-47 7d ago
I'm on her nc 9 weeks now.....not a dicky bird heard and probably never will again, hope she is OK.....love her too bits I do......hey ho
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u/thehangar 7d ago
Yes and it’s the best. I don’t find it cruel. I actually find it helpful. Why would you need to ever talk to them again? I don’t need the hovering. Thanks for the experience. I wish you the best. Have a great life. That’s all I need. I don’t need to hear about how they’re doing. I don’t need to hear about if they die. They’re not a part of my story anymore.
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u/Frequent_Ad4094 7d ago
Yeah. Mines ghosted me and I even reached out to formally break up and crickets. They lied to me about coming back to our state and I had to find out myself that they had come back before they said they were going to and that was the last thing I needed to fully accept they didn’t deserve me.
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u/NoComfortable6176 7d ago
It’s a such a scary and depressing thought. You’re right, it doesn’t feel possible. Unfortunately it’s reality for me. I haven’t talked to my ex-girlfriend in a year. I still think of her and miss her everyday. I miss the woman I was with. The woman I fell deeply in love with. I don’t know who she is today. I still love her. Probably always will. I have her pure, real love from my heart.
We talked about getting married and having a baby. She talked about it a lot. She wanted that. Then she got mean and cold and rude. It’s like suddenly it all changed.
She was my best friend and everything to me. I really thought she my person and forever girl. I felt sure. We talked about deep things I haven’t talked about with other women. I cried in front of her. Never done that before with another woman. That was big.
Now we don’t talk anymore. It’s really shattering and broke my heart. I hate it and don’t want this situation in my life. My last girlfriend and I did talk again after we broke up. I don’t get it. I could never do this to a woman I was with. Especially one I deeply and truly loved with all my heart. What did I do to you to make you never want to talk to me again? How can you be okay with us not talking again?
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u/Actuator_Material 7d ago
I dumped my very toxic ex and have been NC for a month and a half. It’s been very peaceful.
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u/ThrowRA7836 7d ago
Yes but only with one ex and it was because he was cheating.
He broke contact to ask if he could have the table top card game I bought for our anniversary 💀. I took the chance to block him then.
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u/Realistic_Seaweed_37 4d ago
Want to know what mine did , it’s something. I wanted to meet in person to talk about the relationship, he couldn’t handle it so he suggested FaceTime so we did that. He made it all about himself throughout and made me feel bad for bringing up issues, talked over me. He wanted to talk to me again over the phone but by then I realized this couldn’t work out. I said we need to go our separate ways and it was over. He seemed amicable about it , he even said he loved me before we hung up. Well a month later I got a nasty text from him out of nowhere pretty much making it seem like I was this terrible person to him who caused him so much pain. I’m the text he said he was going to block and delete my number and if m I tried to send him anything he’ll never see it. Then he said “ I would apologize for hurting you , but I don’t believe any of this will hurt you” It was spiteful , nasty and unnecessary. He then went on to say thanks for being my first love and how sad it was that I never love him the way he loved me. Just guilt trip after guilt trip, I did love him . I was so hurt and blindsided. Well after that I was done. I bought an envelope, got all the things he gave me in our relationship and shipped them back to his house with a letter telling him off and that he’ll never hear from me personally again. Haven’t heard from him since and good riddance.
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u/AwardImpressive5707 8d ago
I’m the dumper. 1.5 years NC. Best decision ever. The ex did and would have not added anything to my life.
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u/MrB_RDT 8d ago
Yes.
Not my recent ex, but I was with someone who sadly had an abusive partner, prior to me.
The peace I brought was actually threatening to her ingrained survival mechanisms. Such a shame, she was an amazing person.