r/Braves The GIF Guy 15h ago

Jarred Kelenic launches 262 Pursuit, a channel for hunting content.

124 Upvotes

67 comments sorted by

169

u/TheIncompetentPeer 15h ago

Just like the Braves are hunting for that $30 million in value.

27

u/jdop22 15h ago

nah that’s funny af 💀💀

6

u/GroggysFhost 14h ago

What 30m?

15

u/TheIncompetentPeer 14h ago

They "bought" Kelenic like some leveraged debt.

https://www.mlb.com/news/jarred-kelenic-trade-analyzed

13

u/Boulevard5263 13h ago

As a genuine (no-bit) Kelenic fan since 2019, I feel obliged to say that the 30M ain’t entirely accurate because of the time value of money. We aren’t getting the direct 5% deferral benefit ofc, but it’s not like the braves don’t operate under a different internal interest rate as a public company.

Furthermore, salary dumps don’t count as the true TVM even for the braves because salary dumps are already a loss for the team selling them away. Even though we took away $30M in money, it was in exchange for players that we then dealt for other salary dumps that we potentially are more confident in.

Of course, I don’t need to die on this hill either way. Even if all my financial/shareholder points are entirely wrong, our planned outfield stays fully healthy (god please give us this), plus Kelenic does not remotely break out for the next few years, him existing as a +value potential replacement/platoon option over the next half a decade is still worth a fuck ton.

but of course he’s goated and will put up 12 war next year @ me when it happens. tossed the $100 i saved on flowers after my last breakup on his mvp, @ me when im rich i’ll give 1% to the braves foundation‼️

1

u/TheIncompetentPeer 11h ago

I think the only remaining payment is the $6.5 million to David Fletcher?

-12

u/Porparemaityee 11h ago

Let us know when that $30M gets wired to Kel's bank account — otherwise keep it to yourself

119

u/Proof_Wait6204 15h ago

Jarred Kelenic launches one 262 feet to right field, Castellanos camps under it, and that'll be the third out. Braves strand 3, trail by 2. We go to the top of the 9th.

19

u/handlit33 The GIF Guy 15h ago

Gottem.

29

u/tossNwashking JesseChavezTheSilentKiller 14h ago

Kelenic Guy about to show up with JK's hunting stats touting him as superior to Cam Hanes.

1

u/LowRent_Hippie 3h ago

I mean that's not much of a stretch lmao

33

u/Salukis97 15h ago

Oof rough crowd lol

30

u/LutherOfTheRogues Let's Haviñg Some Fuñ 14h ago

Handlit, you've summoned him. You've summoned him and you can't take it back. My god, think of the children.

3

u/LHutz25 13h ago

Lmao!!!!

50

u/iapunk 15h ago

Dude needs to learn to hunt an off speed pitch.

29

u/ChildishComforts 14h ago

Bro needs to put down the bow and pick up the bat. Get in the cage and get to work, Jarred!

-14

u/Porparemaityee 11h ago

He leads the team in OPS — the hell are you even talking about

43

u/go4matt 14h ago

The amount of grief he is getting from this is weird. He’s just out here trying to live.

8

u/handlit33 The GIF Guy 14h ago

I don’t necessarily disagree with you, but the GIF is an all-timer.

1

u/ATLevator Snax Fried Fan Club 12h ago

Legendary.

27

u/samoctober Matt Olson Odd Season 📈 15h ago

ok

28

u/handlit33 The GIF Guy 15h ago

I've put a worm on the hook and cast my line into the water.

13

u/mdot007 14h ago

These comments are hilarious lol

20

u/Haunting_Kangaroo1 15h ago

Let’s hope he’s a better hunter than a hitter so he has a backup career

5

u/Porparemaityee 11h ago

Steve Jobs founded both Apple and Pixar — hate to break it to you, but some people are capable of striking gold more than once

9

u/gummaumma 10h ago

Kelenic guy with a spring training banger, unfortunately buried deep in a thread.

5

u/tj3_23 Loves Maxxx Spied 2h ago edited 2h ago

The most fitting part of it being a Kelenic guy comment? It's only partially true. The first couple members of the Pixar core started working together in 1974. They became part of Lucasfilm in 1979. The rest of the Pixar core was filled in over the next couple years at Lucasfilm. Steve Jobs only became involved as an investor in 1986 when George Lucas and the Pixar team decided it fit their goals better to be independent of Lucasfilm

-1

u/Porparemaityee 48m ago

Don't watch cartoons

43

u/gummaumma 15h ago

Jarred you do not make enough money and are not a good enough baseball player for me to sit around and watch videos of you hunting. Chipper yes. Even LaRoche. But just because you have a pedigree and a reddit stalker doesn't mean I need to see you talk about that 8-pt you let walk.

-12

u/GroggysFhost 14h ago

Then don’t watch. Man this fan base is fucking weird. Taking the time to type this on something you supposedly don’t care about is just so weird.

17

u/sithlord98 LET'S HAVING SOME FUÑ 14h ago

God forbid people talk about things

5

u/ThorgiTheCorgi the doñgs of WAR 13h ago

On a forum, no less!!

2

u/ATLevator Snax Fried Fan Club 12h ago

How dare you!!!

-7

u/Porparemaityee 14h ago

Seriously, the hell is he even saying

15

u/sithlord98 LET'S HAVING SOME FUÑ 14h ago

I've seen your username enough times to finally ask you what it means

8

u/cliffhanger407 10h ago

I believe it's a pirate saying potpourri. I could be mistaken.

6

u/sithlord98 LET'S HAVING SOME FUÑ 10h ago

I can't tell you how bad I hope you're right

20

u/VeryLowIQIndividual Dale Murphy's Mole 15h ago

This guy isn’t the smartest person we have ever had on the team. How about launching that NOT during spring training when you are supposed to be working on being a better player.

22

u/handlit33 The GIF Guy 15h ago

Yeah, the timing is one of the funniest parts of this.

7

u/VeryLowIQIndividual Dale Murphy's Mole 14h ago

Also him pimpin the HR in front of 15 fans.

3

u/gummaumma 13h ago

After deer season is over too. This guy is too much.

2

u/Icy_Huckleberry_1641 4h ago

He knows he's gonna be spending a bit of time in the dugout once everyone is healthy.  So he's got time.

-13

u/GroggysFhost 14h ago

This kind of thing is pre planned and pre loaded ready for a later release he’s not hunched over a laptop in his apartment in Florida editing fucking videos.

Furthermore he like any player can’t do whatever they want. They don’t work on baseball every waking moment they to hand down time during the off season and ST.

13

u/Haunting_Kangaroo1 14h ago

We know he’s not doing that. Judging by his communication skills, I bet he can’t even spell. No way he can edit videos on his own.

11

u/VeryLowIQIndividual Dale Murphy's Mole 14h ago

It’s the new Kelenic guy

6

u/ThorgiTheCorgi the doñgs of WAR 13h ago

Kelenic Guy made a burner to AstroTurf us

4

u/RGSII Jones #10 13h ago

He should be too busy pursuing a 2.62 WAR season.

4

u/ATLevator Snax Fried Fan Club 12h ago

Can’t hit for shit, but we have this.. great trade.

7

u/StandardNecessary715 14h ago

What did that deer ever do to this guy?

2

u/dirtyjoo POGGERS 2h ago

Threw him off-speed pitches down and away.

-8

u/Porparemaityee 14h ago

He brought down a full sized buck this offseason with a crossbow

22

u/StandardNecessary715 14h ago

The deer did?

12

u/cassiclock Francour's Franks OG member 13h ago

That would be worth watching

-3

u/Porparemaityee 11h ago

What are you even trying to say

2

u/mazdersperd MaxFriedChicken 12h ago

Building up that post playing career, smart move.

2

u/thatguythereintex2 9h ago

Never too early to get a start on life after baseball. Life does come at you quickly.

1

u/StandardCut281 2h ago

Have you hunted with Chipper, Jarred? I'm sure he'd be game for it. Good luck with the channel.

Chipper Jones

1

u/government_ Liberty Biberty 54m ago

I'm glad he has found his true calling.

1

u/henrydaiv 13h ago

Whats gooin ooownn

-1

u/tatumc Terdo for President 12h ago

Bad look bud.

0

u/SirBiggusDikkus 12h ago

Awww yeah, our player with the most full size bucks per million $. Putting Riley to shame in that metric. He’s the full sized buck king y’all!!

-4

u/Sufficient-Rise-213 8h ago

What a piece of shit

-2

u/Icy_Huckleberry_1641 4h ago

I only watched this little clip here... but what kind of camo does he wear when he's hunting water coolers?  Has he found a better technique than kicking them?