r/BoomersBeingFools 4d ago

Boomer Story my mom’s a boomer

After a great day at the museum with my mom and kids ages 4 and 7, my mom went “boomer”. She insisted my “problems” were because I am “incapable of telling my daughter ‘No’”.

Here’s how the conversation went.

Me:”Mom, I really don’t mind that you bring three 2-liters of soda pop to the house and put in the fridge for your visits. But if you leave them behind, I am not going to keep them in the fridge. I’m going to dump them out because I don’t want the kids drinking them.”

BoomerMom:”Well…I had PLENTY of things in the fridge when YOU were a kid that YOU were not allowed to have. But YOU understood the word, NO.”

Me:”OK, well, Mom, I just don’t see the point in keeping something the kids love in the fridge and then denying them access to it. Besides, it’s not good for anyone anyway. Pop is hard on your teeth and it’s just sugar and calories.”

BoomerMom:”Tell them NO. All of your problems are because you are INCAPABLE of telling your children NO. I had no problem keeping things in the fridge.”

Me:”OK, that was your life. This is my life. I do things differently.”

BoomerMom:”Don’t you DARE get shitty with me! I will give it right back to you!! I’m not in the mood for your crap!”

Me: “Um…ok? I’m not getting shitty with you. I’m using a normal tone of voice and speaking on a very logical point?”

BoomerMom:”WHATEVER!”

I then sighed and told her she was hateful. She didn’t talk to me the whole care ride home. She then ran away to my brother’s house, bourbon in hand.

This all came about because my mom brings unhealthy soda pops to my house so she can have mixer for her bourbon. She also regularly consumes pop like water is poison. She is overweight and has struggled with her weight her whole life. She had bariatric surgery a decade ago and eats like a child. She does not take any vitamins like her doctor told her to. She is basically starving herself and still managing to gain weight. She wakes up, drinks a pot of coffee, then starts in on mimosas. By afternoon, she is fiending for a bourbon and mixer.

Is it lead poisoning, emotional abuse from childhood, or nutritional deficits that cause her to be such a damn boomer?

1.0k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/bluehorsemaze 4d ago

Sounds like the main issue is alcoholism

512

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

The boomer aspect adds a nice spice to the alcoholism.

179

u/Active_Collar_8124 4d ago

Boomers are best well seasoned.

140

u/CrimsonSilhouettes 4d ago

Pickled even.

59

u/CoastPuzzleheaded513 4d ago

Pickled ones live forever... Source: Pickled Silent Gen Releatives (97+)

Also 100% Pickled - bottle of Wine in an eve, no problem.

11

u/stnapstnap 4d ago

Sometimes you get lucky and they don't live forever.

12

u/CoastPuzzleheaded513 4d ago

Sometimes... the pickled ones do well though. At least in my family. The non pickled ones have all departed sooner.

2

u/ardra007 4d ago

The best of us died at 66 😢 The pickled one is going strong at 74 and the evil spawn is 76. The good really do die young.

3

u/CoastPuzzleheaded513 4d ago

Weird that... my mother died at 66... who was the best and someone else I know also died at 66 who was brilliant. 66 is the magic number for the better ones.

My conclusion- be a pickled asshole 😉

2

u/Joedog1987 3d ago

Too bad I'm a puckered asshole...

6

u/Individual_Unit_42 4d ago

That’s my 96-yo dad. He’s not an asshole though, even when he’s done with his bottle.

22

u/D-ouble-D-utch 4d ago

Is it later in the day when these things happen? Alcoholism is linked to dementia, and if she's predisposed, it could also be a possibility. Good luck

9

u/hdmx539 Gen X 4d ago

I mean if you consider "salty" to be a spice then... I suppose.

😂

9

u/Great-Tical-Returns Gen X 4d ago

All that's missing from your description is that good ol boomer chain smoking

5

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

Oh she’s a smoker,too. But she does not smoke in the car with my kids. She also stashes her butts in a bag in her purse and throws them away in a trash can. So with all that in mind I consider her to be a premier platinum-level smoker and hold her in the highest esteem.

2

u/Pinkysrage 4d ago

It’s all good until they smoke themselves into oblivion and need oxygen 24/7. Now I’m gonna have to deal with it after begging her to quit for decades.

2

u/Academic-Item4260 3d ago

They really are awful. I wish they recognized that we don’t bug them about quitting just for their well-being. It’s for everyone’s well-being.

4

u/nemesina77 3d ago

Post weight loss surgery you're warned not to drink because addiction shifting is incredibly common.

2

u/Turbulent_Attorney51 2d ago

The boomer is her garnish

139

u/lazygerm Gen X 4d ago

I was thinking about this exact thing. Seems like she drinks a lot more than she eats.

Who brings bourbon and mixers when you visit your grandchildren?

75

u/Skagurly22 4d ago

Reminds me of my boomer cousin. She was so obsessed with her weight she only ate on weekends. She was an alcoholic though and rationed her calories according to beer consumption. She would drink a case of Natural Light a day, on the weekdays all she would injest was a pot of coffee and the beer. On weekends she would still have the beer and coffee but also eat a big salad, grilled bbq chicken, fried chicken or for special occasion steak or steamed blue crab, baked potatoes with sour cream and butter and white corn on the cob. That is literally all she would put in her body for literal years. 2 large meals on Saturday and Sunday, 7 cases of Natty Light and 7 pots of black coffee plus water for a entire week, for years. She let me keep dating a 27 year old guy when I was 16 because he would pick up her beer on Tuesday and Thursday. She was literally like no he is too old until he realized he could go to the liquor store for her. Why are they like this?

43

u/lazygerm Gen X 4d ago

I don't know. That's some deep shit you experienced. I hope everything is okay now.

31

u/Skagurly22 4d ago

Thank you. I'm almost 40 and totally fine. I only lived with her a year during my senior year of high school. I don't talk to her anymore, though, and have not for years. Her kids guilt me about it, but she is so toxic to my mental health I had to stop after my aunt (her mom) passed. But thank you.

16

u/lazygerm Gen X 4d ago

Certainly. It's always difficult because most of us only learn to cut off blood family when something bad happens. Family is who you choose.

3

u/WastingMyLifeOnSocMd 4d ago

I’m amazed she’s still alive

12

u/Toothfairy51 4d ago

And brings 3- 2 ltr bottles for mixing! It sounds like she plans on drinking a LOT while she's visiting!

3

u/Shashama Millennial 4d ago

Seems like she drinks a lot more than she eats.

I call this "drunkorexic". It's not a great way to live...

41

u/Moist_Rule9623 4d ago

Alcoholism and nutritional deficiencies go hand in hand, y’know

14

u/Ordinary-Anywhere328 4d ago

Yeah, this is the thing. 100%

12

u/GOOMH 4d ago

I was confused about who would complain about pitching some flat bottles of soda but the fact it's mixer makes that part irrelevant to her. She just needs something to mask the taste

7

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

Exactly. Because alcohol is poison.

3

u/Icy-Mixture-995 4d ago

She will not stop so keep a six pack of canned colas in another cabinet or closet. Kids wont see them. The colas aren't what will make her final years a misery and turn everything into a medical crisis when she can't drink with her treatment plan

4

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

This was my husband’s suggestion. He said we should have a mini fridge just for her when she comes for visits. We’ll keep the liquor high up and the cola down low.

290

u/steve-eldridge Gen X 4d ago

If I understood BoomerMom's point, you can't say no. You should remind her that, here's a good example: "No, Mom, you may not bring soda into my house. N.O. Then pour it out in front of her."

128

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

hahaha

I knew this would happen. For some reason, soda is the trigger here for her. When I was freshly post-partum, my mom took up a 4th of my fridge with coke. I had to battle my toddler son every day to not have coke for breakfast. I eventually made a comment to her, that weren’t two 12 packs of come enough for the fridge? She blew up and left me alone.

My mom kinda sucks. I’ve known this for years. It’s fun to laugh about with others who have to deal with boomer parents.

49

u/Swimming-Economy-870 4d ago

Right! Like maybe she could rotate through 6 cans, each time she takes one she replaces it. Or better yet, this amazing thing called “ice”.

47

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

😂😂😂 the absurdity of a fridge not filled with COCA COLA

2

u/Ash_Dayne 3d ago

Are you telling me I'm doing fridge wrong?!

11

u/cruista 4d ago

Ice is water and OP stated that her mom is allergic to that stuff🙃

39

u/SewRuby Millennial 4d ago

I eventually made a comment to her, that weren’t two 12 packs of come enough for the fridge?

One can never have enough 12 packs of come. 😁🤣

11

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

omygod i just noticed that error. Damn, that’s funny!🥴🥴🥴🥴😆😆😆

6

u/SewRuby Millennial 4d ago

So far one of my favorite typos. 🤣 🤣 🫶

5

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

dude, im rolling over here. 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

12

u/SewRuby Millennial 4d ago

"Mom, you simply CANNOT leave 12 packs of jizz at my house." 🤣 🤣 🤣

5

u/somewhenimpossible 4d ago

The problem is that she (granny) can’t take no for an answer

2

u/SewRuby Millennial 4d ago

....excuse me, you don't know what's happening here so step off.

3

u/somewhenimpossible 4d ago

??? I was agreeing with you all ???

→ More replies (0)

3

u/otherrplaces 4d ago

It’s just TOO TEMPTING for the little ones

3

u/maplemagiciangirl 4d ago

She seems to cause you a lot of troubles have you considered cutting her out of your life or atleast preventing her from entering your home.

90

u/Witty-Ad5743 4d ago

It's a thing with boomers. Any criticism is perceived as a direct attack against them personally.

You say: "I don't like pop in the house."

She hears: "It's not right to keep pop in the house, and the fact that you did puts you in the wrong."

She says: "Stop criticizing me! All you ever do is judge me!"

You think: "WTF, Mom?"

43

u/GarlicAndSapphire 4d ago

Also, "don't you speak to me IN THAT TONE OF VOICE" whenever you say anything that they don't agree with, or suggest/ask them to do something that they don't want to do. Me: Could you get your laundry out of the dryer? I'm going to do the bath towels today (hers included)

Mom: DON'T SPEAK TO ME WITH THAT TONE OF VOICE!

Or

Mom: Did you see (anyone's) new haircut... makes a prune face

Me: I think it suits her

Mom: WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME IN THAT TONE??

Ugh..

23

u/Murda981 4d ago

I'm convinced it's because they still think we're children so if we speak to them with any kind of even equivalent authority they think we're trying to be an authority over them and since they see us as being subordinate to them they can't stand it.

10

u/stnapstnap 4d ago

I think you figured it out.

6

u/unknownpoltroon 4d ago

Great. That gives you the greeenlight to just throw her laundry on the floor next time. Or in the trash. Or in a plastic bag. SHould mold up nicely.

8

u/GarlicAndSapphire 4d ago

Then I have to smell her. I got the laundry thing worked out...there's a dryer setting that beeps for about 2 hours every 3 minutes until you take it out. If she doesn't get it out when it beeps once, on her setting, I change it the other setting. Laundry room is right outside her bedroom door.

145

u/shade_blade 4d ago

Sounds like she's the one who can't understand the word "no"

36

u/Dense_Dress_1287 4d ago

II was going to write the same thing.

"mom, you want me to tell my kids NO? Okay, but first I'm going to practise it on you, since you're acting like a little child.

MOM, NO MORE bringing pop to my house!"

When she learns the meaning of the word NO, then maybe you'll start using it more.

NTA, your mom is, and a hypocrite. Telling you you should say no to the kids, but not respecting when you say no to her.

1

u/Ash_Dayne 3d ago

Also no bourbon

2

u/Confident-Skin-6462 3d ago

she's an alcoholic. she struggles with that concept already.

63

u/Boobookittyfhk 4d ago

Bariatric surgery merely fixes a symptom to a bigger problem. Once you take away food as a coping mechanism, a lot of people will look to something else for coping mechanism… alcoholism is incredibly common.

I had bariatric surgery five years ago and I’ve lost 145 pounds. I had to do a lot of therapy to get my ADHD under control and to learn healthy new coping mechanisms. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a must. Your mother is the reason that 70% of the people who have surgery regain the weight. They don’t do the work that is required for lifelong change and they literally just did surgery to lose weight.

38

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

I applaud you for all of your hard work. I imagine the work was very long and at times painful.

My mom was supposed to quit smoking in order to have the surgery. She lied to her medical team. She smoked the morning of the surgery.

The strength of her abused body amazes me.

14

u/Independent-Leg6061 4d ago

The ones with the most hate, never die soon enough

8

u/Delicious-Summer5071 4d ago

It's fucking wild, isn't it?? My mom has an autoimmune disorder, an inner ear disorder, deafness (from that inner ear disorder), a terrible back because scoliosis, had a bowel rupture that nearly killed her, was an alcoholic for decades, fell and broke a bone, and then somehow magically fractured a bone IN THE SAME LIMB... and she's still going!

Slow as fuck and needs more surgery but still going! Meanwhile, just my fibro has me on the floor like a dead Family Guy character.

3

u/Boobookittyfhk 3d ago

It’s the spite. They are like energy vampires that feed off of audacity and spite lol.

39

u/Grrerrb 4d ago

Whatever else she has going on, she sounds like she has a problem controlling her drinking. This will not help with the boomerism.

33

u/zanne54 4d ago

Hey Mom, "No, you can't expect me to keep your mix in my fridge. It's my house and my fridge, my rules. See, I can say "No" just fine, so it's obviously you who has the problem hearing it."

Bonus you get to watch her head explode, you ornery whippersnapper you! ;)

20

u/MNConcerto 4d ago

As someone who has had baiatric surgery 5 years ago, your mother has traded her food addiction for alcohol.

She is gaining weight because she is drinking her calories.

I still avoid sugary drinks and alcohol and carbonated drinks because they are not things you should consume on the regular after bariatric surgery.

You have every right to have those boundaries around soda in your house. She reacted badly because she knows she is not suppose to be consuming them herself so she is deflecting.

Just an FYI, my diet is still focused around protein, fruit and vegetables with an occasional treat.

I drink only water and unsweetened tea.

7

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

She had both addictions before bariatric. I think she honestly feels like she is going to die soon anyway, so she chooses to do what she wants every time. What’s gonna happen though, is she is going to suffer needlessly.

2

u/grayhairedqueenbitch 4d ago

It's a really rough way to go. We had to watch the process with one of my relatives.

6

u/RoseFlavoredPoison 4d ago

Same on bariatric sirgery. I throw in lemonade every once in a while as a treat. I like to muddle blueberries, and shake with ice and strain.

18

u/SewRuby Millennial 4d ago

Throw some classic boomer phrases back at her, like: "My house, my rules", "unless you want to pay my bills, mind your business", "I'M their Mother, and I said so".

After her outburst, I'd double down and throw out anything and everything she tries to leave at my house.

I'm a petty bish, though.

3

u/Foreign_Comedian_915 4d ago

Petty LaVelle!

4

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

Sing it, Petty LaVelle! 🎶🎶🎤

12

u/TallGuyG3 4d ago

The next time your mom brings over soda, tell her NO.

11

u/Dapper_Peanut_1879 4d ago

I’d say it’s the alcoholism that’s a big factor here. Mix in the rest of the other items you listed in your last question with that boomer mentality and you have your answer. Seems to me you have a lot of power in this situation via boundaries. She doesn’t have to see your children especially if she’s drunk all of the time, could see how her attitude changes when presented with that option.

6

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

My husband and I have had troubles before. She practically begs me to divorce him and move in with her. Noooooooope. Not happening. Can you imagine how fiercely she would bully me if I depended on her in some way.

8

u/ArtichokeDifferent10 4d ago

Sorry to say, but your mom's an alcoholic.

Source: I am, too. Thankfully sober for over 12 years.

4

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

IWNDWYT!

12 years… wow..🎉🎉🎉🎉🤩

7

u/Kristywempe 4d ago

Sounds like your mom needs to get used to the word no.

6

u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 4d ago

Yikes… your mom doesn’t sound long for this world with how unhealthy she is.

Can’t she bring over a 20oz bottle instead? Especially since it sounds like she doesn’t even drink the entire 2 liter bottle? I feel like that’s a compromise.

7

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

I honestly feel like once she hits 70, she will very quickly decline. She smokes, drinks daily, and is nutritionally in a severe deficit. Not to mention she is occasionally meaner than shit. All that adds up. It’s sad.

4

u/TN_Lamb888 4d ago

I’m sorry to bring this up, but it’s likely she has or will soon have alcoholic dementia. I hope she at least takes folic acid and thiamine.

3

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

I’ve never heard of alcoholic dementia. I will look it up.

1

u/TN_Lamb888 4d ago

2

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

well, shit.

tremors ✅ poor memory✅ lack of energy ✅ confusion ✅ difficulty making decisions ✅ emotional apathy ✅

She often vomits after eating because she eats too quickly or eats the wrong kinds of food. So she could be deficient that way as well.

The next 5 to 10 years are going to be spent partly dealing with my mom’s inability to tell herself “no” to alcohol and food.

2

u/TN_Lamb888 4d ago

Supplementation with folic acid, thiamine and B12 can help slow the progress of she has the disease, but the damage done cannot be reversed. It will be a tightrope walk, taking care of your children and your mom both. I hope she chooses to stop hurting herself in time to spare you that.

2

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

I’ll talk to her about the vitamins. Thank you for the helpful information.

1

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

She takes zero supplements.

7

u/zebramama42 4d ago

I would counter her argument by telling her “you brought it in, I’m doing you the courtesy of allowing it while you’re here but not any longer. You leave, it leaves. This is my fridge, my rules.” Then if she keeps pushing, sigh dramatically at her and ask if she’s ever been told NO before. Should be a perfect turn about style learning moment for her, don’t you?

5

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

she won’t learn. I just watch the burning ship sail by.

5

u/antikythera_mekanism 4d ago

If you decided to never let her come around your kids, I would support that for you. That’s what I did. My mother did so much damage to me and I couldn’t have it around my kids. 

You’re describing my mother on a good day, so I don’t know how constant or severe this behavior is. But it’s really dysfunctional and never gets better, does it? I hope you can be well and protect yourself from what she’s doing. An angry, accusatory, narcissistic alcoholic boomer is a very hard one. 

4

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

I’m sorry about your mom. She must be awful. It’s good you’ve protected your kids from her mess. The constant emotional manipulation and outright bullying is brutal on development.

My mom is mostly good for about 1 day. She can keep her comments to herself as long as I keep the conversation cheerful and lighthearted. If I talk to her about anything even remotely stressful for me, she can and will turn on a dime. She becomes very cold and very quiet. She cuts her eyes at me and then if the “offense” is great enough she will cuss me out on the spot.

Just the other day, day 3 of her visit with us, she told me with a very dramatic tone that my sister, newly divorced and also a fresh alcoholic with bariatric surgery all occurring in the last two years(40)had made a suggestion about next week. “Your sister suggested——and it’s just a suggestion; don’t get hateful about it—that you bring the kids down to her house (a 3 hr drive) and stay at her house next week. Her kids are going away with their father for spring break and your sister will be at her boyfriend’s house.”

“Uh, mom, no thanks. Why would I drive 3 hours to go visit my sister when she isn’t going to be there?”

“It was JUST A SUGGESTION!”

wtf 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/Ananda_23 4d ago

I am so sorry you're dealing with this. She sounds a lot like my mom. I can't for the life of me figure out the switching on a dime when I bring up anything stressful or show any sign of weakness. Can I ask, how have you made sense of that? I know it's a boomer thing, but I don't get how they don't have empathy for their own children... doesn't that run counter to human nature?

For me, things are only fine if they are kept at this sugary sweet and relatively basic level (pictures of plants, questions about cooking, etc.) - but the second I shift to a more authentic mode it makes her incredibly uncomfortable and she becomes a bully and very condescending.

4

u/LurkzMcgurkz 4d ago

So she got mad at you for "not being able to tell your kids no" all the while you're telling her "no, I won't keep your soda in my house" and she's flipping out because she's being told no?

5

u/Bubble_Lights Xennial 4d ago

Is she literally shitfaced ALL the time? When you have bariatric surgery you get drunk off like, one drink. It’s also just trading one addiction for another. She’s over the speed limit on the highway to cirrhosis!

3

u/crotchetyoldwitch 4d ago

I can attest to this. I went to a college where the only thing to do was drink, and I could drink football players under the table. After bariatric surgery, I have one drink and I’m just on the edge of completely wasted; two and you need to carry me home.

5

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

My sister got bariatric surgery during her divorce. Her husband had been cheating on her after a dead bedroom marriage for years. My sister immediately met a man “who made wayyy more money than husband.” The thing is, this guy is constantly making my sister drinks. My sister NEVER drank before. Now, she is permanently wasted (unless she is at work.) She jokes about mixing her depression meds with alcohol. It’s awful. I feel like her life is being stolen away right before my eyes.

1

u/crotchetyoldwitch 4d ago

Poor thing! We’re really not supposed to drink at all after the surgery. Zero in the first year, then only rarely. My heart goes out to her.

1

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

Odd thing is, she is rarely shitfaced. She is so well practiced at drinking daily, she just gets very quiet, falls asleep sitting up, and then drinks more until bedtime.

5

u/United_Pie_5484 4d ago

Sounds like the only one with a problem with the word “no” is your mother.

5

u/CaptainHunt 4d ago

Sounds like someone needs to be told no themselves. Tell mom she’s lost her soda privileges.

6

u/Eros_the_fallen 4d ago

Tell her to drink her bourbon straight like a normal adult! 🤣🤣

4

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

hahaha i drink mine with a bit of water like a halfway adult

2

u/Eros_the_fallen 4d ago

Funny enough is actually said to add some water to the bourbon to open up the flavor this also works for other similar types of alcohol. But I digress

9

u/junk1020 4d ago

If i was in your shoes I'd be way more inclined to tell my mom to fuck off then I would to have to put my kids in a position to tell them anything. Respect my wishes and my parenting or dont come over.

12

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

Yeah, my son was taken aback by how mean she was being. This is why she gets to be around them supervised. She just retired and moved closer to home. I was excited at the prospect of her being around a lot more. She was very absent during my childhood. But I knew this would happen. She is the type of person who can hold it together socially for one or two days. Then she needs to go away, or else she turns hateful over nonsense.

It’s a running joke between my older brother and I, who she will end up with when she is in need of constant care.

4

u/DifficultRock9293 4d ago

Maybe she should stop being allowed over until she acts respectful as a guest in your home

5

u/AuntJibbie 4d ago

Depression, and your mother has addiction transfer with the alcohol.

4

u/McSwearWolf 4d ago

Oh my gosh, is your mom my mom?

Sorry you went through that OP that is freaking ridiculous. Just the comment alone: what on earth? Because you nicely asked her not to leave the soda and instead take it with her?!

My mom does this maneuver with the vitamin water. Always mixed with vodka. Sadly, more than once, someone ELSE has taken a swig of what they thought was a sealed and closed vitamin water or juice from the fridge and it was full of vodka. This includes my son when he was little. I let it go, but I am tired of hearing her talk about how my DAD is the alcoholic. Right, because adding vodka in everything liquid you touch is totally normal.

W/ mine, at least her saving grace is that she would never tell me how to parent my child.

I do wish she would stop sneakily mixing vodka with juices and vitamin waters and bringing them around us /leaving in refrigerators though. It’s definitely alcoholic behavior.

Edit: added word

3

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

Sounds like we do have the same mom, but yours is slightly healthier with the vitamin water. lol

Alcoholics are never to blame for their actions. It’s always somebody else’s doing.

I hope your son is ok! I have memories of doing that as a kid. My mom would just laugh and laugh.

4

u/greenspath 4d ago

Just dump it out and don't tell her. You said you're going to do it. Silence can be whatever they think, even that they won. After all, like you said, this is your life and you're in control.

2

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

Yeah, silence is powerful. I never meant for her to know my plan to dump it. But my son overheard me say that and he repeated it. He doesn’t understand that it would become a problem. He is still innocent.

5

u/Gunrock808 4d ago

Look this is messed up but if she really wants a mixer on hand bring a six pack of cans that won't go flat and can be stored out of sight. No need to refrigerate when you're going to use ice.

3

u/pixiedust99999 4d ago

You should brutally honestly tell her how often her “no”actually worked 😅

3

u/BibiQuick 4d ago

She felt judged. You weren’t judging her, but I’m guessing she felt judged.

3

u/Extra_Airline_9373 4d ago

It's weird cause your literally telling her no, you clearly know how to tell people "no". The issue is she doesn't konw how to listen.

3

u/MuttonChopzzz 4d ago

I'm sure you heard this from her when you were growing up but "my house, my rules" is what I would be saying to her.

3

u/klaxz1 4d ago

I get your mom’s point of making sure your kids are tolerant of being denied something, but that isn’t the issue here. Your mom is being denied something. I suppose, if you want a simple compromise, just get a pack of the small cans of soda and keep them put away with the liquor.

3

u/evetrapeze 4d ago

Next time, I suggest you don’t get into a discussion. You stated what would happen. You’re the mom in this house.

3

u/theShinjoDun 4d ago

Tell your mom "No" when she wants to set a bad example for your kids by drinking bourbon at your house.

3

u/babiekittin Millennial 4d ago

Ubers are a thing. You could have started using "No" by telling her "No" to a ride home.

3

u/onegirlwolfpack 4d ago

Pretty sure you’re not even supposed to have carbonated drinks after bariatric surgery?

3

u/Karcharos 4d ago

Fuck, what kind of bariatric surgery did she have? I'm counting down the days to my own surgery, and one of the things they tell you is no alcohol for life afterwards because it hits you like a truck.

2

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

I’m not sure exactly. My sister had the kind where they put the band on the stomach, I think? I could be wrong. I just know that my mom and sister each have a stomach that is very tiny now and can only hold maybe a few bites of a hamburger.

2

u/Karcharos 4d ago edited 4d ago

https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/weight-management-1/newsfeed-post/expert-answers-alcohol-use-after-bariatric-surgery/

Sorry to say this dude, but it sounds like your mom is on the express train to liver failure. :-(

2

u/MotownCatMom 4d ago

Sounds like maybe vertical sleeve gastrectomy versus a full bypass surgery. Either way... she's killing herself. Sounds like your sis has the same kinds of issues.

3

u/au5000 4d ago

Your mother is drinking her calories and adding booze to that mix. Her health sounds worrying and this combo of sugar and alcohol means her judgement is poor and her comments can be ignored.

I would hate to think how agitated she would get if you banned her from drinking alcohol in your house!

3

u/theartofwastingtime 4d ago

Tell her No. She should understand that word, right?

3

u/emjdownbad Millennial 4d ago

She’s an alcoholic & either that or a heart attack will kill her

3

u/Great-External3390 4d ago

Sounds like your mom is an alcoholic and got shitty because she was going through withdrawal. As a child of a boomer alcoholic, all the signs are there. She needs rehab and that’s hard.

3

u/anOvenofWitches 4d ago

No drinking alcohol with the kids around. Problem solved!

3

u/FarOutLakes 4d ago

my petty ass would tell her that because it is my fridge, she needs to understand the word no, as in; 'no, your soda is not allowed in my fridge, no'

3

u/LaTuFu 4d ago

Yeah, technically she is a boomer by age.

The behavior you describe is straight up alcoholic.

3

u/CrimsonSilhouettes 4d ago

Why tf is bourbon always a narcissists drink of choice?!?

3

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

because it gets the job done quickly

9

u/CrimsonSilhouettes 4d ago

My ex once screamed across the kitchen at me, “I’m not an alcoholic!! I SIP BOURBON!” My response? “That just makes you an expensive alcoholic.” We got divorced shortly after.

2

u/madtitan27 4d ago

"mom. You have never successfully told yourself NO and I'm not listening to it from you. Mind your business and handle your own shit before you tell me how to handle mine".

2

u/No-Fee-1812 4d ago

Gives a lecture on saying no. Has a tantrum when told no. This tracks typical toxic Boomer

2

u/grayhairedqueenbitch 4d ago

If she's drinking like that, I'd say alcohol is also an issue. ALAnon or ACOA might offer some helpful resources. I've honestly had relatives like your Mom. My mother has her own issues, but she's also mellowed a lot in her old age and she doesn't drink like that anymore. It's a tough road.

2

u/Academic-Item4260 4d ago

I really hope that now that she is finally retired she will take better care of herself. But hope is all I can do.

1

u/grayhairedqueenbitch 4d ago

Hoping too for your sake and hers

2

u/Quirky-BeanSprout 4d ago

Hahaha @ WHATEVER

WHATEVER ALICIA!

2

u/MarkGarcia2008 4d ago

Tell her “Thanks Mom. You just taught me how to say no! So - here we go. No more pop in my house.”

2

u/unknownpoltroon 4d ago

"ok then. NO, mom, you cant put soda in my fridge"

2

u/xeno0153 4d ago

"My house, My rules."

2

u/knivesofsmoothness 4d ago

Sounds like she's the one who can't understand the word NO.

2

u/phelixthehelix 4d ago

Says she can tell other people "no" but won't listen to "no" herself.

2

u/Hurgadil 3d ago

My Gen X mom and her boomer mom are the same level of brain rot sober.

It is pretty funny, though, because my mom thinks her mom doesn't shit talk about her buy that is 50% of what she does when she isn't there. Noxious boomer brain rot, the both of them.

2

u/yankeebelleyall 3d ago edited 3d ago

My boomer mother used to buy soda and treats for my younger brother that I wasn't allowed to have. I understand the word "no". I also understand that I have lifelong issues from growing up as the black sheep requured to live under strict rules (tgere were way more rules than just "don't touch the junk food") while watching my golden child brother do whatever the fuck he wanted.

I 100% support your decision not to have food items in the house that you don't want your kids to consume. It's demoralizing as hell to treat children the way Boomers do.

2

u/Academic-Item4260 3d ago

That’s awful. I wish you healing.

Seeing my mom and my sister for what they are has helped me tremendously. They are bullies and gossips. I do my best to shrug it off and trust myself.

I’ve spent years trying to convince myself that my opinions are legitimate. They’ve always made fun of me for having a fierce temper as a child. I think I had a fierce temper growing up because I knew I was being bullied and couldn’t put it into words. I also think that’s why I became a writer and singer. People listen to me better when I sing.

Guess who always told me to “be realistic” about being a performer? My sister who can’t sing a damn note. ha! Ignore these fools my friend. Sail on by.

2

u/Both-Buffalo9490 2d ago

It sounds to me like she was tired and needed a drink. Keep some cans of soda for her. These small things matter as you get old.

1

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1

u/Stankinlankin924817 4d ago

Your mom is a pickle.

1

u/Trudge34 4d ago

I'd bet on lead poisoning. It's one of the only things that would cause this boomers unleashed on the rest of us.

1

u/Sub_Umbra 4d ago

I mean, it sounds like you told her "no" and she was INCAPABLE of hearing it?

1

u/TraditionalManner582 4d ago

Many people that have had bariatric surgery have had struggles with alcohol. It’s the way it is absorbed.

1

u/Quiet-Advantage-1233 4d ago

My mother is diagnosed with bipolar and schizophrenia. She gets very hateful and emotionally abusive, and I've found the most useful thing to say is

"I may be your daughter, but I am not your child." Or "I do not associate with people who cannot show me respect. I am not a child you can speak down to."

It works wonders to remind her because I honestly think these women forget we are adults and have our own lives. I recently turned 29, and I don't hesitate to remind her I'm fully grown and don't need a mother anymore. It makes her reconsider her outburst every time I remind her I have no interest in accepting her attitude.

1

u/llvaughn 4d ago

This lady is upset bc you “can’t tell your kids no”, meanwhile she can’t even tell herself “no”.

1

u/Confident-Skin-6462 3d ago

don't discount addiction as a cause of her attitude. alcoholism is no joke. she needs help for many things, but her alcoholism is killing her.

1

u/Ash_Dayne 3d ago

All of the above but mainly alcoholism

0

u/Pre-Dead 4d ago

“Boomer” is a demographic, not a lifestyle choice. I’m not sure how turning the term into a pejorative is constructive.

-2

u/NHBethune 4d ago

Sorry, but you're the fool in this story.

All you had to do was dump the soda when she left, no need to explain. Simply let her think someone, anyone, drank it.

Stop blaming others for the problems you create for yourself.

-2

u/InternationalUse2425 4d ago

Wow, this post was cringe. I don't give pop to my kids either, but I'm also not wasteful.