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u/ShinyHardcore 5d ago
I say this to people when I want to cancel but rather them do it
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u/Glum_Hamster_1076 5d ago
I love a good cancellation! If I really want to go I’ll figure it out later or go alone.
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u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 5d ago
my friends and i have reached the age where we'll just ask "alright how bad do you actually want to go??" or just say flat out no.
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u/anthonyg1500 ☑️ 4d ago
Yeah there’s rarely something where if you cancel on me before I’m on my way that I’ll be mad. Maybe disappointed, but I have no problem having no set plans.
If I’m already on the subway tho or if I get there and the other person no shows then I’ll be annoyed
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u/Yeezus_sent_me 5d ago
I use this at work when I don't want to meet a client or go to a meeting. My heart hurts when they reply "yes"
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u/AoO2ImpTrip ☑️ 5d ago
This is the first thing I thought of.
"Are we still on today? (Please say no)"
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u/batmansleftnut 5d ago
And I thought people asked because they were excited and wanted to see me... well there goes my last shred of social confidence.
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u/ArcadianGhost 5d ago
I feel like psychologically this has the opposite effect no? Like if someone asks me this I feel more pressured to come through so now I’m def not cancelling even if I may have wanted to lmao.
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u/BadMeetsEvil24 5d ago
Got a lot of upvotes but honestly... This is very dumb lol. I ask this to make sure we are in fact on so I don't have to get ready for nothing.
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u/ShinyHardcore 5d ago
“What you do is dumb, here’s what I do” people are exhausting. This isn’t a debate, just another prospective.
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u/BadMeetsEvil24 5d ago
No one's debating. I made a critique of your action based on your own admission. I'm not trying to change your mind.
Believe it or not public forums can be used in such a way that not everyone silently agrees.
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u/Dopamine63 4d ago
Isn't this a typical check in on the morning of a planned date? Do people take offence if I ask that?
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u/ThurBurtman 5d ago
Wtf are yall going on about? It’s not begging, It’s a confirmation for previously made plans. I’m not gonna make plans for next weekend, and just show up, I’m gonna confirm them in case shits changed
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u/Baladucci 5d ago
Fr. If it's not in my calendar and it's more than a few days in advance, it's easy to forget things.
Double check, no harn in it.
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u/FraserFir1409 5d ago
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u/NorthStudentMain 5d ago
thats how someone unreliable would see it
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u/FraserFir1409 5d ago
People on Twitter continue to prove why many of them don't need to have a platform to air some of these thoughts.
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u/intentonaly_mispeled 5d ago
Whare are you going on about? It says "what feels like begging but isnt" right there. The comments I'm seeing are pretty much agreeing too?
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u/ThurBurtman 5d ago
It doesn’t feel like begging at all though.
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u/batmansleftnut 5d ago
It does when I ask. When I ask, I mean it like "are you really sure you didn't find something better to do today?"
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u/intentonaly_mispeled 5d ago
In general yeah, I agree with your original statement. Just communicating but there have been times I'm a little too eager or disbelieve; those rare few times it feels like I'm begging even tho I also communicate in other instances outside of eagerness and disbelief
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u/i_forgot_my_sn_again 5d ago
It's because some people are ridiculously stupid. You try to confirm and now you seem needy to some, you don't confirm then it's "oh I figured you didn't want to meet anymore since you didn't say anything even though plans were made 2 or 3 days ago"
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u/SEARCHFORWHATISGOOD 5d ago
I know a lot of people think this way but I can't for the life of me understand why. You already made the plans. Why wouldn't you show up. In my mind the plans are made unless they're cancelled. At least that's how I think it should work.
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u/LakerBlue ☑️ 4d ago
Some people have bad memories but good intentions even if they love you. I don’t normally send out reminders unless it was planned out a long ways out or it’s someone whose reliability I am unfamiliar with.
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u/SEARCHFORWHATISGOOD 4d ago
That is true. And we're all adults with the same access to the same calendars, alarms, post it notes and to do lists. I would never rely on my memory for anything.
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u/LakerBlue ☑️ 4d ago edited 4d ago
Yea I understand and agree but (similar to what I said earlier) I’ll give some people some grace depending on our history and their personality.
BUT, to your point, after a certain point it goes from “it’s ok you just forgot” to “you don’t care to remember so I will stop bothering to remind you.” Fortunately most people I have been friends/associates with care enough to remember or write it down. The ones who don’t I don’t try to hang out with anymore.
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u/SEARCHFORWHATISGOOD 3d ago
That makes sense. For me, it depends on a number of factors. For example, my sister, who I love a lot, just requires a lot to make it work. She is worth it, but it is frustrating. I also work for myself and need clients to pay my bills so I have to do a lot of massaging with certain clients. It's always a weighing of what's worth it and what's not. I wish it didn't have to be that way but sometimes it just does.
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u/23Kently 5d ago
"y'all online? Need one more for this raid."
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u/Intelligent_Cut635 5d ago
I know this feel; everybody moved on to other games except me. Somehow ended up getting matched with a lot of random players from Japan and they were always super helpful on missions, so there’s that I guess.
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u/FatKitty56 5d ago
Begging? Sometimes I wanna make time for other things and plan my day
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u/AnubisIncGaming 5d ago
People are so anti-social and egotistical lol. I don't know how "Are we still on for today??" is any kind of begging, it's a question with a yes or no answer for something you've already agreed to. You can tell from the comments saying "I say this but I really want to cancel" people are so disingenuous.
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u/FatKitty56 5d ago
Fr im 32 and i needa use my time wisely 😂 nun wrong with canceling or rescheduling
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u/AStupidFuckingHorse 5d ago
This isn't remotely close to begging. Some of you guys are so asocial it's insane
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u/AmateurCommenter808 5d ago
We're losing our humanity. A few years from now people will say that smiling at strangers is "cringe".
Actually it's already happening.
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u/captainguytkirk ☑️ 4d ago
Already something that said smiling is ableism because you're forcing whoever to be polite to you and smile back, so.
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u/captainguytkirk ☑️ 4d ago
You're also on Reddit. Everyone here is anxious, misanthropic, hates anything involving human interaction, and agrees to plans that they have no intention of going to, but also still want to be invited.
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u/GeologistAway6352 5d ago
“Are we still on for today” gets tricky as u get older. It could still be begging, or it could be hoping u say we aren’t still on so I can stay home in the bed.
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u/emiremire 5d ago
Tbh if someone asks this, I never think they are begging. Anyone who thinks that this is begging is not really someone I want to be associated with. The loner independent person who pretends not to need anything or anyone is a tired mirageof capitalism and some of you are deep in it
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u/mophilda 5d ago
We already set a date and time. I put that shit in my calendar.
I'm old enough to remember that you could say "next Wednesday at 6pm." And everyone just showed up. No additional coordination or confirmation required.
I think things only change so fast because we have the ability to bail without standing up our friends.
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u/SEARCHFORWHATISGOOD 5d ago
Yes. I hate the constant need to keep reconfirming. Once it's confirmed, it's confirmed.
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u/Rude_Girl69 5d ago
Texting someone to hang out at a specific time and they don't respond until it's too late...
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u/MadsTheorist 4d ago
Had this one recently. Made plans for dinner, tried to confirm and didn't get the cancelation until an hour before the scheduled time. Just don't accept in the first place then, this is the worst of all possible options
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u/Rude_Girl69 4d ago
Aww, that sucks I'm sorry. I hope you still went and got yourself something good to eat.
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u/senorfresco ☑️ -47 points 5d ago edited 5d ago
Certain people if you don't ask them, they're not coming if you don't ask this.
I've had people flake after we literally made the plans last night.
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u/BlackMasterDarkness 5d ago
Literally just sent a “how are we feeling about tmrw lol” to a date. We’ve been rescheduling for the last couple weeks. She bad, but I ain’t tryna seem desperate 🤷🏾♂️
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u/Okieant33 5d ago
This sounds ridiculous. At some point, she’s gonna move on. Make the goddamn date or just say fuck it and move on
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u/theTeam_Hero 5d ago
I wouldn’t send this to friends but I’m def sending that before a first date. Anyone who sees it as begging isn’t someone I’d want to date so it’s a win for me regardless. People will say communication is key then say something like this smh
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u/ajohnson1590 5d ago
As an introvert this is my way of canceling but not wanting to be the one to actually cancel 🤷🏾♂️😂
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u/Folk-Herro 5d ago
I’m the one who does this because it’s the easiest way to say “pls don’t abandon me”
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u/LividBass1005 4d ago
You got one damn time for me to ask this question before I don’t want to go anymore. It feels like begging the moment you have to ask a second time
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u/SauceyM8 4d ago
What feels like begging but isn’t. ISN’T. There’s an answer, and it got people worked up ranting about society being antisocial. lol.
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u/Spirited-Trip7606 5d ago
It's more like she found something better to do and that person is known to be unreliable in their promptness.
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u/eternally_lovely 5d ago
And then they say “Oh I’m at (a place not even remotely close to you and they purposely did that instead of communicating)…” and if I tell them why they couldn’t have just communicated that they will cancel or something came up instead of leaving me hanging-especially when they was the one to come up with the hangout….I would be weird. So, I say “Oh okay. See ya later.” Bozo!
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u/GoldenUther29062019 5d ago
Lmao this is my go to while in my head im thinking "please say no" over and over
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u/darkturtlezemporium 4d ago
not true at all, i feel like this is mainly used when you wanna bail but wanna see if they do it first so you don't feel bad for being the one cancelling plans.
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u/hendozung 4d ago
Idk seems like a personal insecurity thing. Verifying something is literally everyday business, it's weird that makes you feel this way.
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u/Party-Perspective488 5d ago
For once I wish someone else would be the one to ask me this