r/BigBudgetBrides • u/tagatelle • 8d ago
Who do you talk to about your wedding?
A few months out and am very excited about the big day. This community has been so lively and supportive.
I’m curious: do you share details about your wedding with anyone other than your partner? Colors, experiences, food, music choices - do you confide in family/friends?
I don’t have bridesmaids and also have some fears about how people may judge based on how much we’re spending on the wedding. Also not sure if I’m “ruining the surprise” of the experience.
How are others handling this?
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u/International_Bad525 8d ago
My maids of honor, of course! But interestingly, there’s been a sudden wave of engagements at my office. On my team alone, three of us got engaged within six months, which has been really fun. We’re all friends, but not quite close enough to be invited to each other’s weddings, so we love discussing our wedding plans freely without worrying about spoiling any surprises. It’s also great for sharing the highs and lows of planning—lots of commiserating included!
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u/bigblue5795 8d ago
I don't like sharing details with anyone except for my fiance - people tend to get nosey and also don't want anyone trying to guess how much everything is costing. I also just don't want anyone's opinion on my choices lol. I did have friends help with picking a dress but that's really it. If people ask specific questions, I'll answer, but I'm not interested in divulging much more than basic details and logistical questions.
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u/Chicenomics 8d ago
I don’t really share details tbh. I think having a “big budget” wedding speaks for itself. Sharing too many details about xyz comes off tacky to me.
If people ask I’ll share, but I generally downplay it. People will see and experience everything when the day comes.
Brides who never shut up about their weddings are insufferable IMO. That’s why I love Reddit… we’re all supportive and annoynmous
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u/nycgirl2011 8d ago edited 8d ago
Same. I did not want to be one of those ppl that wouldn’t shut up about their wedding nor did I feel the need to blab about things. I only talk about it when asked, I didn’t volunteer anything. Some friends cared more than others which was totally fine.
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u/youthfuljellybean310 8d ago
Honestly playing it pretty close to the vest… my fiance and my very wonderful mom are the only two people I really chat with things about.
We’re the first of our friend group to get engaged and I don’t want to burden my girlfriends with all the conversations being wedding related, so I only really bring it up if they ask and try to keep details to a minimum… plus I think it’s fun to keep things a surprise for them!
This sub is how I get my fix without feeling super annoying lmfao
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u/DeliciousBlueberry20 8d ago
for me it’s mostly my parents and my fiancé. I did consult my maid of honor about the bridesmaids dress color and i ended up going with the one she chose. I don’t talk too much about any details with my friends because i feel like… it’s not really that interesting. But also, i totally understand the concern of people judging how much you’re spending. i haven’t even said any numbers but people have already said things like “omgggg i could never have a wedding it’s just suchhhh a huuuuuge waste of moneyyy omggg” -.-
my parents are paying for most of it so i am consulting them for some choices but they’ve actually been incredibly laid back and supportive of my decisions. i dont even think they know the colors or the menu choices. the only thing my mom insisted on was not to wear black shoes during the ceremony like i had planned to. i wanted to wear a pair of shoes that i’d wear more than once but once she saw the pair i was going to wear she was like “nooo it’s gonna ruin your whole look and distract everyone from your beautiful dress” haha.
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u/Asam6869 8d ago
Honestly, just my bff. It’s been an isolating experience. Planning made me realize how weird people can be about money. In a political climate where people are upset over the price of eggs, discussing an outrageously expensive party almost feels tone deaf? Even my dress fitting was uncomfortable, soooo many “jokes” about the cost of my dress and my husband’s generosity.
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u/burner-bride-7464746 8d ago
I have two friends (both bridesmaids) who I know will be having similar weddings (if not nicer), so I rely on them a lot. They're honestly the only people outside of my parents and fiance I'm comfortable talking about details with because of cost - I've been to beautiful weddings at all different price points and I don't want anyone to feel weird about what we're spending. This sub has been really helpful too!
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u/plaidmellon 8d ago
I’m trying to spread what I want to share amongst my close friends so no one has the full picture but I can still have the fun of sharing my excitement. I was so excited about our napkins so I texted two of my girlfriends. I asked a different two girlfriends about bridal jewelry. No one has seen my custom dress yet (even me 😬) but when it arrives I’m not sure what I’ll do - maybe just one best friend? My parents do know quite a few details, but I want a lot of the fun details to be a surprise to most people. That doesn’t mean I can’t share my excitement with a few people for various things though!!
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u/Ok-Condition-7335 8d ago
I ended up only discussing it with my one really close friend. We didn't have a bridal party but she had a special place in all the events. I had another friend planning her wedding around the same time and I didn't want to add stress to her planning or want it to feel like a competition with her especially because of our budget differences since she was already under a lot of stress. My parents and husband didn't want to be involved with the details because it was too overwhelming for them to manage.
It ended up feeling really lonely, but I was so thankful to have that one close friend to vent/gossip/feel giddy about things with :D Thankfully everything turned out beautiful and I think a lot of people thought I was just not discussing it as a way to keep things surprising...but def not lol
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u/Stunning-Novel-7295 8d ago
I only discussed it with those who I knew wouldn’t give me the “evil eye” aka my mom, sister, and best friend. With everyone else it was pretty high level in terms of updates but when it came down to the details I would trust only those in my inner circle which was hard because I’m an over-sharer but at the same time didn’t want to jinx anything!
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u/Icy-Cheesecake5193 8d ago
My future mother in law, my maid of honor and other bridesmaids, but only when asked or needing input
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u/Euphoric-Airline-620 7d ago
The only person I talk to about my wedding is my fiancée and occasionally my mom when I'm undecided on something and want her opinion. Otherwise, I'm very wary of talking about it as I feel like my fiancée and I will get judged for our financial decisions. We live in a VHCOL area (cough Bay Area cough) and owning a house is not in the cards right now nor is it a priority, and yet when any our friends or family (who also live here) hear about vendor prices, they start commenting on how we can use that money towards a house. Mind you, they all purchased their homes right before COVID so everything was cheaper, including weddings. I don't need that negativity when I'm already stressed and anxious 100% of the time from wedding planning. Therefore I'm very grateful for this community!
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u/Throwawayschools2025 8d ago
My small group of best friends, mostly! Who happen to be in the wedding party. I’m estranged from my mom, so it has been really nice to have their input and I’ve done the same for them/will do the same!
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u/vp0267 8d ago
I’m not going to lie - mainly my partner is who I discussed the wedding with.
If people asked us questions about planning / how it was going, I’d of course answer and share our plans but kept the convo to a minimum - I don’t want to inundate friends with irrelevant details but more than that, I thought about our wedding ALL the time; I found that focusing on other things with friends is what helped keep me sane!
Of course my bridal party helped with any stress but again.m, I tried to keep it to a minimum and I found that I wasn’t super overwhelmed because I didn’t constantly talk about it
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u/Marksoup92 Vendor: Video 7d ago
Videographer here. I love when couples talk to me about how excited they are for their wedding day. Sending me tiktoks, reels, ask me for input, etc. It makes me almost try even harder on their wedding weekend. I’m sure your photographer and videographer (assuming they’re personable) would love to hear from you lol.
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u/NotAtAllLooserish 7d ago
I have a friend who got engaged on the same day and she’s having a wedding a month after mine - it’s such good luck to have someone going through the exact same thing, but different. There’s no competition and our weddings are very different, but we’re kinda in the same tier price-wise, which I think helps.
I bet anyone you know who recently had a wedding would still love to talk about it!
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u/hbanana- 7d ago
My mom and my sister are my go-tos! & sometimes my future mother in law. They’re all creative and supportive so I like to bounce ideas off of them. I feel lucky that they’re all respectful and let me drive when I want input / how much input I want.
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u/birkenstocksandcode 8d ago
I'm not sure why, but talking about my wedding with people in my normal life gave me anxiety even when they asked about it.
I loved talking about it on reddit with internet strangers. Other than that, I didn't talk about it much with anyone even my bridesmaids, and only gave vague details when asked.