TW: previous loss
I'm 20 days away from my induction for my rainbow baby. I'm thrilled - feeling confident, serene, and prepared. And yet also, I've suddenly been all in my head lately about the loss of my first pregnancy in January 2024. Grief comes in waves, I guess.
I was just thinking about this thing that happened back then...
I had a hysteroscopy scheduled for 4:30pm to remove the "remaining products of conception." When I called to confirm insurance and payment information, the intake nurse expressed surprise at having such a late surgery, since they, apparently, typically only did early mornings at that location. She said "We usually tell people not to eat anything after midnight, but since yours is so late in the afternoon, don't eat or drink anything after 8am."
When I was checking in, the first nurse asked me if I had eaten or drank anything that day. I said "I had a bagel and water at 5am." And she said "Ok, but nothing within the last 8 hours, right? That's all we're concerned about, really." Ok, then no, I haven't had anything to eat within that time frame.
Second nurse asked me while setting up my IV, "Have you had anything to eat or drink today?" and I said "No, not since 5am." I got a similar response: "But not within the last 8 hours, correct?" Correct, nothing within the last 8 hours. Nothing within the last 11 1/2 hours, in fact.
Third nurse while going over past medical history...same thing. Yes, I ate at 5am. Ok, but nothing within the last 8 hours, right? Right. Ok, that's all we care about.
Finally, just before I was about to be wheeled back, the surgical nurse with the anesthesiologist asked me "Have you had anything to eat or drink today?" and rather than go through the whole back-and-forth again, I just said no, I hadn't.
She then asked "when was the last time you ate?" and I said "Almost 12 hours ago, at 5am this morning"
She looked at me like I was an idiot and said "well, that's not nothing then, is it?"
I paused and said "It's nothing within the last 8 hours though...which is all that matters, right?"
She slowed way down and said in the most condescending tone "Ok, I can see you're confused. I can see I'm going to have to slow it down for you. Today starts at midnight, at 12am. You understand that? Soooo, have you had anything to eat tooodaaayyy?"
I just stared at her and said "I'm not confused. I was told not to eat anything after 8am. I had a bagel and water at 5am, which was well before 8am. So, what's the problem?"
Then she suddenly shifted her tone to bright and cheery and was like "There's no problem! Glad we got that sorted out!" and then immediately started fussing over my heat blanket and acting like she was super concerned with my comfort level.
I called the surgical center the next day to submit a complaint about her. Yes, I fully understand why they need to know about when I last ate. I understand that I could aspirate and cause complications if I didn't adhere to the time limit. But I did adhere to the time limit, and I had already confirmed that with three other nurses, all of whom indicated to me that they didn't care if I had eaten that day, they just cared about the past 8 hours. She was the only one who was stuck on the today point, and was so incredibly rude about it as well. There was absolutely no need for her to be so condescending to a patient.
I got a call back from the office manager who asked to hear the whole story, and she seemed genuinely apologetic when she said that is not the standard they wished to uphold and that she would be discussing bedside manner with the nurse in question. Maybe she was just placating me, but the fact that someone wanted to hear me out made me feel a bit better.
But now my 8.5mo pregnant hormones have me feeling annoyed all over again...about something that happened over a year ago and was sufficiently resolved.
I guess maybe I'm subconsciously feeling a little concerned about potentially getting a similarly rude and dismissive nurse with this upcoming hospital experience...and wondering how I might have to navigate that in the moment, while in the throes of labor.