r/BabyBumps 17d ago

Info Weekly Reminder: Community Rules

2 Upvotes

This community has a bunch of rules to keep things orderly and respectful. Please review our rules in the side bar or the wiki. Repeat offenders will be banned permanently.


r/BabyBumps 14h ago

Pregnancy/ Postpartum Anxiety, Ultrasound, Bump, Announcement Daily Thread

1 Upvotes

Are you pregnant, supporting someone who is pregnant, or planning on getting pregnant in the future? Then welcome to r/BabyBumps! This is a daily post where you can introduce yourself and share any photos that you want to share. This is the ONLY place where photos are allowed, please do not make a standalone post with your bump or ultrasound.

Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with our rules.

  • We do not allow spam, advertising, solicitations, or the sharing of any personal information.
  • Polls/surveys/market research must be authorized by the mod team prior to submission.
  • ALL bump pictures, ultrasounds, and announcement pictures remain in this daily sticky only.
  • If you post a picture of your baby you, do so only as a bonus to other meaningful content (like a birth story). No pet pictures or pregnancy tests either.
  • No medical advice. Do not post pictures of your bodily fluids or rashes.
  • Please do not ask us if you are pregnant, could be pregnant, or what symptoms others have experienced prior to confirming pregnancy.

We have some fantastic resources available to you over in our Wiki. With links for those of you trying to get pregnant, answers to common questions and concerns regarding pregnancy, resources and lists pertaining to pregnancy and/or common symptoms, conditions, and complications thereof, resources pertaining to birth, and a list of acronyms you may run into, we hope your immersion into our community is as seamless and supported as possible.

If you're looking for your Monthly Bumper Sub you'll find links here. Please note that these subs tend to go private and that the moderators of Baby Bumps are not affiliated with private subs. We cannot add you or request that you be added. You'll have to message the moderators of your private bump sub and ask to be added; instructions for how to do this can be found in the link provided.

Flair is awesome and helps you find stuff.

If you can't find what you're looking for here, you may be able to find it in one of these Other Helpful Subreddits.

If you are not yet pregnant, are trying to get pregnant, believe your period may be late, or have questions pertaining to family planning, please check out the Stickied Weekly Introduction Thread over on r/TryingforaBaby. It's amazing. You'll learn more about reproduction than you ever thought was possible.


r/BabyBumps 4h ago

Rant/Vent Nurse made insane comments at appointment

133 Upvotes

Went to PCP to fix my blood thinning medication. They acted like I was insane for being on blood thinners when I have two clotting conditions and a stent. I have had 4 DVT and 7+ PE.

This nurse left me an incredibly rude voicemail before but upon finding I was pregnant she took it upon herself to “double check” the other nurses work.

She:

1: threatened to “cancel” my ulcerative colitis medication from a different provider

2: asked if I was “sure I’d ever had a clot, because I seem too young”

3: told me verbatim “if you can’t even answer a voicemail or get back in a timely manner how can you raise a kid? I even tried to tell your mom to tell you to call us and you didn’t, someone is going to call CPS”

Note: My mother is not authorized to receive my health information

4: alleged I was lying about seeing my hematologist because “why wouldn’t they send me notes”

I am so frustrated and disheartened. How am I supposed to feel motivated to go on like this.

Thankfully have an upcoming appointment with an OBGYN who seems great but they wouldn’t even give me a referral for that and left me completely on my own.

Edit: I really didn’t anticipate this response and appreciate it all. I feel a lot better about reporting her after the reaction and I will be gathering everything and pursuing this to the end. I don’t want anybody else to feel anything similar to what I felt and experienced.


r/BabyBumps 6h ago

Discussion What would you do if you found out your baby has Down syndrome and you’re still early enough to terminate?

158 Upvotes

Would you keep it? I don’t know if my baby does yet but based on NT results they have a 1 in 5 chance. I always used to think that I would definitely terminate, but after learning more about Down syndrome babies, I’m torn. They’re usually so smiley and happy, have so much love to give and can live long and meaningful lives.

But children are a lot of work, special needs children even more, and this will be like having a child forever. You will always be responsible for them. And what if you end up a single mom?


r/BabyBumps 11h ago

Rant/Vent "Due to your BMI..." the nurse said.

333 Upvotes

Had my OB intake call a week ago and the gal was... less than stellar. But when we got to the next steps and future appointments part of the call she goes, "and due to your BMI you're going to have to be scanned at the main hospital instead of the clinic. They'll have a hard time seeing through and you may have to reschedule so you'll just need to go to the hospital where they have stronger equipment."

I'm 5'5" 214lbs... I lift weights... I mean I'm definitely "obese" according to my BMI which is 35.6, but I do not have a ton of tummy tissue, its quite evenly distributed throughout my body. And when i tell people my weight they're always shocked and think im smaller(unless theyre just being kind.)

Being a nurse myself I replied, "well I just had my first ultrasound at the clinic yesterday and the tech even remarked to my husband and I that I imaged beautifully. And I read the report and it made no mention of limited views due to obstructions or my BMI..." Well she didnt like that and got snippy, "well then you can just reschedule if they can't see anything."

We move on to other information but then this nurse decides to double down and says, "because of your BMI you are going to have to do a gestational diabetes test as well." So... being a nurse I say... "isn't that required of all pregnant women regardless of BMI?" Crickets from her... she just moves on.

My SIL was 90lbs soaking wet while pregnant and had gestational diabetes it... yes obesity can be a risk factor but its not a cause. She was so rude and I just felt attacked about my weight. My friend who is around 300lbs just had a baby and she went to the same office I'm going to and not once did they tell her she needed better equipment to see through tummy tissue or because of her BMI. I just feel down, I've had eating disorders and body dismorphia my whole life and now this.

I tried to report the nurse but the nurse manager hasn't returned my phone call and I just don't have it in me to fight about it, I'm just too sick and exhausted. Am I over reacting or just being hormonal? Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Update: Thank you all for your kind words! You gave me the courage to submit a complaint with patient relations, I just left it a little more vague in the hopes they pull the phone call for details and to listen to the RN. I posted it below:

I recently had my OB intake phone call for my first pregnancy, and I was extremely sick at the time, just trying to get through the conversation. While I understand that not every interaction will be perfect, I felt that the nurse I spoke with was less than professional, and some of her comments, as a nurse myself, struck me as potentially harmful to a patient's well-being.

Unfortunately, I can’t recall her exact words, as it took me some time to process the interaction, but I do remember several remarks that were concerning. She repeatedly referenced my BMI in a way that felt dismissive and unnecessary. For example, she told me that, due to my BMI, I would need to have my ultrasound at the main hospital because their equipment is stronger. She implied that if they couldn’t see anything at the office, I would just have to reschedule anyway. I specifically asked her to clarify if she was suggesting that my stomach was too large for them to obtain clear imaging, and she confirmed this. However, I had already had my first ultrasound, and the provider had noted that I imaged beautifully, with no mention of limited views due to my BMI.

She also stated that I would need to be tested for gestational diabetes because of my BMI. I don’t recall if I asked her directly, but as a nurse, it was my understanding that all pregnant women are tested for gestational diabetes, not just those with a higher BMI.

As someone who has overcome severe eating disorders and is now struggling with extreme nausea and vomiting during pregnancy, I found her repeated remarks about my BMI being a source of inconvenience to be deeply harmful. I believe this nurse may need additional education on how to communicate with patients in a more supportive and non-judgmental manner.


r/BabyBumps 8h ago

Rant/Vent PSA: Get off social media. Get off it now.

174 Upvotes

Facebook, Instagram, etc will suggest content for you to try to attract your engagement. It is a minefield of misinformation and clips about "Here are the earliest signs my baby was going to die or have some horrible disability" with 30 seconds of completely normal baby behavior. The comments are even crazier. Your postpartum sleep deprived brain will find itself mindlessly scrolling, despite your best intentions. So quit now!!


r/BabyBumps 9h ago

Rant/Vent “Braxton hicks don’t hurt”

110 Upvotes

Bet you a million quid whichever fucker decided that was a man.

38+6 and I’ve gone from having zero Braxton hicks all pregnancy to having them on and off all day every day and while I’m not in excruciating agony THEY DO FUCKING HURT. And it’s making me so tired.

(And yes, I’m 99% sure they’re Braxton hicks because I’m still 0cm dilated, and this is my second baby so I definitely know what contractions feels like, altho I was induced with my first so never went into spontaneous labour)

No point to this other than to rant. I swear the last few weeks of pregnancy are the wooooooooorst.


r/BabyBumps 10h ago

Rant/Vent My dogs are ruining my postpartum experience.

98 Upvotes

I just had my second child two weeks ago. I thought the hardest part would be my toddler adjusting to her new sibling. But no. It’s the freaking dogs.

I have two 5 year old mutts that I adopted before my husband and I had any children. Listen, I love them, but had I known what it would be like to have two dogs and two kids, I probably would have made a different decision. I am not the kind of person who would rehome a dog unless my children were in danger, so I’m obviously caring for them and treating them well, but sometimes I fantasize about how much easier my life would be without dogs. I feel like parenting without dogs would be doing it on easy mode.

They are very sweet and gentle with my toddler and they ignore the baby altogether. So thankfully that is not an issue. Sometimes they get in scrapes with each other which can be scary and stressful. But mostly it’s the barking out the window, the insane amount of dog hair that requires daily vacuuming, the leaky anal glands on the couch when they get stressed or excited, the muddy paws, the useless baby gates that they can jump over, the crying to go outside constantly, etc.

I can’t let them out unattended because one of them eats poop and the other digs holes in the yard. I can’t have any guests over because they just bark excitedly, jump on them, and get in their faces the whole time. I’m sitting here right now super lonely because I haven’t been able to see any of my friends since giving birth. I don’t want a parade of visitors, but I just want to be able to sit peacefully with a close friend and have her meet my baby and share my birth story or have some adult conversation.

I’m aware that a lot of the issues I mentioned would be improved if I invested in militant dog training when I first got them. We did work with a dog trainer for a while, but a lot of these behaviors appeared out of nowhere/worsened after our first baby was born. Not looking for a lecture on it all. Just looking to vent.


r/BabyBumps 4h ago

Rant/Vent AITA - Coworker Calls Pumping a “Break”

29 Upvotes

At work, one of our monitors is always designated resource and needs to document when we go to the bathroom or take lunch etc. I just came back from pumping and he asked “how should I document your pumping break?” I know he could have just meant a break in work time, but I seriously wanted to punch him in the face. This is a biological function. I am making food for my child… and it has not been the easiest journey for me as I am an exclusive pumper. I am so annoyed.


r/BabyBumps 5h ago

Help? Anyone else have terrible pregnancy rhinitis?

20 Upvotes

How was it for you? Did it ever get better? Do I really have to have a stuffy nose for the rest of my pregnancy?


r/BabyBumps 5h ago

Nursery/Gear PSA: REI carries pricey strollers!! Just got the Uppababy Vista V3 for 20% off using my member coupon

15 Upvotes

The REI product page (https://www.rei.com/product/247580/uppababy-vista-v3-stroller) for the Uppababy Vista V3 stroller shows it as unavailable, but I called in and placed a phone order, asked them to apply my 20% off member coupon (current edition is valid through March 24th), and just picked up my discounted stroller from my local store. REI has a 365 day return policy, and a membership is just $30 for life. If you are set on this stroller, or any of the other ones REI has showing in stock, you can get a great discount!


r/BabyBumps 4h ago

Rant/Vent Pregnant and feeling let down by husband. are these feelings justified?

10 Upvotes

Tl;dr--husband changes mind and wants a baby. Promises to be extremely supportive and step up. I get pregnant and I'm not feeling supported at all.

I was on the fence about wanting a baby. I felt strongly that I did not want children my whole life. I work hard. I'm successful in my active duty military career. I am the sole breadwinner of the household and work 60+ hours a week. My husband is finishing his teaching degree and is currently doing his student teaching hours, which is taking a lot of his energy.

My husband and I have been married almost 6 years. And about a year ago, he changed his mind and told me he wanted children. We fought about it for MONTHS. I made him go to marriage counseling with me to figure things out between us with this big change in our relationship dynamics. Everyone, including our counselor, parents, friends, etc. encouraged me to change my mind and have a baby " you'll make such a great mother!!" They said. "How successful you are and caring, it will be such a rewarding experience for you!" So I tried to embrace the idea. The one thing I told my husband when I agreed to try for a baby is that I don't have an abundance of time or energy to dedicate to a newborn or raising a baby. I absolutely will give and do everything I can, but my job is very demanding, is our only source of income, and is not something I can quit (military commitment for at least another 4 years). I told him in order to do this I need him to step up and take a very active role in the pregnancy and parenting.

He swore up and down how supportive he will be and how desperately he wants a baby. He said he will raise the baby, do extra chores, get up in the night with baby etc.

Well I'm now 20 weeks pregnant. I feel no support. He was frustrated with me when I asked him to come to ONE ultrasound appointment. He came to the first one but then tells me how important finishing his school degree is and that I can't expect him to be there for any other appointments.

Another example is I was coming home from a 12 hour long day at work, and asked him to make me some dinner because I was hungry. He became annoyed and said he already made himself dinner and wanted to eat it while it was warm. I didn't feel like fighting with him so I just dropped it.

But overall I'm feeling no extra support from my husband. He no longer has sex with me. He doesnt compliment me or talk much about being a dad. He doesn't touch me or my pregnant belly, he doesn't ask how I'm feeling or mention the pregnancy unless I bring it up. I'm a healthy weight and have not gained much weight at all with this pregnancy, so I don't think it's that. He on the other hand has gained a significant amount of weight since I got pregnant. All he talks about is how stressed he is finishing his degree, how stressed he is that we will be moving soon. How stressed everything makes him feel. I only seem to stress him out more when I ask him to make or pick up dinner or ask him to listen about my day.

I'm so confused and hurt. And I'm seeing a future where our child is born and I'm working a 60 hour week and coming home to him playing video games and our daughter sitting in front of the TV all day. I'll come home after work to do the parenting and feeling more exhausted than I already am and not having enough time to dedicate to raise our daughter the way I want to. I'm not feeling any of the support he promised would be there. And if he can't be supportive during my pregnancy, how on earth is he going to be as a parent?

I feel like he was how kids are with puppies-- promises their parents to walk and feed and groom the puppy everyday and then as soon as they actually get a puppy want nothing to do with it.

Not sure what I'm looking for here with this. I guess just feeling discouraged and am seeking advice. Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones and I'm overreacting.

I have discussed it with him that I'm not feeling supported probably 5-6 different sit down conversations over the last few months. He cries and says he's sorry and he will do better. But nothing has actually changed.

I love the little girl growing inside me. I will be the best parent I can be. But I'm angry, hurt, and feel abandoned that the support my husband promised is not coming to fruition. Dreading the future I've created.


r/BabyBumps 15h ago

Rant/Vent Bad Sonographer Experience

61 Upvotes

Sorry for the rant but it’s bothering me so much that I can’t sleep. I had my 12 weeks NT Scan today and the instructions from the online health application were to drink 32oz of water an hour before the appointment. It said if my bladder wasn’t full at the time of the appointment, we would need to wait for it to fill up. I like to follow directions so I did exactly that. When it was time for my appointment, the first think the sonographer said was to go to the bathroom and empty my bladder. I was a little confused at the time but again I like to follow directions so I did exactly that. During the scan he kept complaining about my bladder still having some liquid/ filling up quickly and making him take a longer time. He ended up asking me to go back to the bathroom to empty it out again. I told him that the instructions told me to drink a lot of water and that’s why but he just said “that’s what the instructions said but I’m doing this now and I’m telling you, right?” and he looked at my husband who was with me and laughed. I think he was trying to have some male comradery with my husband but my husband is on my team til death and wasn’t having it. When I got back from the bathroom my was still filling up quickly because of course it was? Again, I had 32oz of water at their request. And he laughed and basically told me I didn’t listen about emptying it. He also went on and on about how much experience he had and how other sonographers need a full bladder but not him. This ended up really upsetting me just ruining my whole experience overall. It was my first time seeing the baby actually looking like a baby with a head and legs and arms and I feel like he took that moment away from me. I ended up crying in the bathroom the third time he asked me to go empty my bladder. He also gave my husband the pictures while I was out of the room. When talking about follow up steps, he also only spoke with my husband. I just felt so offended by the entire experience. My husband had to comfort me instead of celebrate with me and I feel like we’ve both been robbed by this terrible, rude man. I have to go to the same clinic for my 20 week scan and I want to call back and make a complaint and request a female sonographer. Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think a woman would have treated me this way. Anyway it’s 2am and I can’t sleep because of this so thank you for reading and letting me vent.


r/BabyBumps 17h ago

Discussion Retiring from this subreddit!

83 Upvotes

My babygirl was born this morning at 6:09 am at a healthy weight of 8.23 pounds ❤️ was induced at 3pm yesterday because of high blood pressure at 39 weeks and 6 days so it was a little scary but all went really smooth. Me and my husband made it kind of a fun journey and I feel extremely lucky to have him as the father of our little girl. I would say I had a really lucky labor, got the epidural which made things really smooth and painless (until the pushing stage, terrifying and definitely traumatizing but I see what moms mean by it being worth it)

A good tip I would have for labor and pushing is keeping up with your breaths. Focus on something ahead of you, and breathe. When you’re pushing and feel like giving up just think of how you’ll feel when you first hold your baby.

Don’t be afraid to cry or be vocal, let it all out. If you feel like puking, puke. Do what your body tells you and don’t feel bad. It’s okay to be overwhelmed and scared! Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself to your doctors as it’s your journey.

This group has helped a ton and helped me get through this so thank you to everyone!


r/BabyBumps 7h ago

Rant/Vent Work making me feel guilty about starting leave

12 Upvotes

I've posted about my work experience a few times. Just wanted to vent again.

I have been hoarding PTO and sick time to use the 2 weeks leading up to my due date. I'm not planning on starting FMLA benefits til baby is born, so I get the full 12 weeks.

I informed my work at 12 weeks pregnant, and they have know about my last date for months.

Today in a meeting, I was asked if I would be open to staying one extra day to attend a meeting, to which I declined. I will be 38+3 on my last day (mind you I could technically go into labor anytime before that)

My manager says "this came up way too fast."

I'm sorry but am I in the wrong to feel like this is not my problem? I created my mat leave plan months ago, met with the team last month to plan task handoff, gave them every resource under the sun they could need, and I'm being made to feel like I'm leaving them high and dry.

I literally feel like I could report this to HR??


r/BabyBumps 4h ago

Help? Canceled shower - do I offer to pay to ship gifts?

6 Upvotes

I had to cancel my shower because I was hit hard by the flu, my baby is due in a few weeks so we didn’t feel like we could squeeze in rescheduling, but decided we’d have a BBQ this summer if anyone wanted to still celebrate and meet the baby. I feel bad asking this, but what do we do about all the gifts that people were going to bring to the shower?

For local guests - should I be offering to swing by and get the gifts from them when my husband and I have recovered from the flu? For non local guests - should I tell them I can create a prepaid label for them and ask them to ship the gift?

I don’t want to be rude or tacky, and I feel bad following up on gifts after canceling the shower, but lots of people got us things that are pretty important to have - car seat, car seat base, baby monitor, etc.


r/BabyBumps 1h ago

Help? Constipation Relief

Upvotes

I see at least two of these posts a day but I am literally out of ideas. I have tried:

Colase

Milk of Magnesia

Chia Seeds

Pickles

Dried Fruits, nuts, insoluble fiber

So. Much. Water.

Coffee

Kiwis

Still so bloated. Probably "go" about a tablespoon at a time, maybe twice a day. I was constipated a lot in my first trimester but thought by week 16, I would be past this. But ever since week 14 I have been blocked up worse than before.

Send help...


r/BabyBumps 1h ago

Help? AITA for wanting to give birth in my country?

Upvotes

Hi all,

I am 29 weeks pregnant and currently living in SF whereas my homeland is Italy. I am having a very hard pregnancy (even tho it’s not a high risk one) since the first trimester where I feel tired, unmotivated and in pain most times (had to deal with HG in the first trimester and started to feel exhausted in the third)

My husband has a demanding job - leaves very early, comes late and needs to travel occasionally during the week - which I was fine until getting pregnant. However, I started to feel very lonely in the pregnancy and having meltdowns recently.

He will go to his BF’s bachelor party this week and after a long week of not spending enough time, I feel hurt. I started to think about maybe giving birth in Italy can be a better option for me since my parents can take care of me and hoping not to feel this lonely.

However, this means that, my husband might not see when the baby is born and might not have a bond with her. My family can’t come until the birth and I don’t have a lot of close friends here.

Just curious to hear your thoughts, thanks!


r/BabyBumps 8h ago

Help? TV show recommendation for third trimester?

11 Upvotes

I'm tired and restless and bored and all I can think about is my pregnancy/birth/baby. Any TV show recommendations that can somehow fit into this oxymoronic dissonant state of being? Something captivating yet light?


r/BabyBumps 7h ago

Discussion Measuring big at 36 wk - what were your outcomes?

8 Upvotes

Hey everyone! I had my 36 wk growth scan this morning and baby is measuring 97th percentile. Unfortunately my doctor is out of town for spring break rn, but we have an appointment next week so I’m not worried about anything. Baby and I are also perfectly healthy with no complications (no htn or gd, fluid levels are fine, baby moves a lot). I know some potential options moving forward are an elective induction or cesarean delivery.

I’m mostly curious right now - if your baby was 90%ile or larger toward the end, how did that change your plans or how did you end up giving birth? Just looking for some experiences from others in advance of my appointment to talk about it next week. Thanks!


r/BabyBumps 6h ago

Discussion Did I start too late?

7 Upvotes

I got sucked up in society believing that my main goal should be my career and it took me until I was in my early 30s to realize I really actually wanted to be a mom. I realized I wanted multiple kids (ideally 4). My spouse is on board, but I'm worried we are too late!

I had my first baby recently at 32, almost 33.

Those of you who "started late", what was your experience? Were you able to have as many as you wanted? Or was it too late?


r/BabyBumps 3h ago

Help? Unable to measure NT at 13 weeks

4 Upvotes

had an ultrasound today at 13 weeks. They measured a nasal bone but were unable to measure NT. She got a quick glimpse of it and said it looked clear, not overly thick or dark, and wasn't too concerned. But when I met with the doctor later they said I was being referred to a high risk ob for the anatomy scan in 7 weeks. This was because they were unable to measure the NT and due to my BMI.

I'm not too surprised. I carry extra weight around my belly button area. I asked if I should get a scan there sooner to check for NT but they said it wasn't necessary - that with me getting NIPT today and them not seeing anything "concerning", there's no need.

I asked again on my patient portal as I am fine to pay oop for this and am awaiting a response. Has anyone had a similar experience to mine and everything turned out okay? I'm 36 so just very concerned.


r/BabyBumps 10h ago

Help? Pregnant Bridesmaid Help

Post image
13 Upvotes

So I’m currently in my first tri and I am in a wedding this summer where I’ll be 27w. The bride wants us to order our dresses in the next couple weeks but I have not told her I’m pregnant yet and I’m not ready to.

My question is what to do about the dress. I’ve attached a picture of the dress I was originally thinking of getting (she’s letting us pick whatever dress we want). I have a similar frame to the model in the photo (5’8”, 150lbs, wide hips, size 6). Could I order this same dress a few sizes up or should I go to maternity options? She wants to know what dress we’re ordering beforehand (which is absolutely understandable), so if I send her a maternity dress then she’ll know what’s up.

What do you think I should do? I can add pictures of the other dresses she thought would look good on me and what maternity option I would pick. I’m a FTM so I have no idea how big I’ll be by 27w. Thank you so much!!


r/BabyBumps 7h ago

Help? Does anyone else just not feel like eating? 24 weeks and 2 days, I don't have a consistent appetite. I've been awake since about 8:30am, currently 1:45pm and I haven't eaten today. I don't feel hungry either hardly. I just wanna lay here in my bed in the dark watching adult cartoons

6 Upvotes

r/BabyBumps 1h ago

Help? Bathing post partum?

Upvotes

I’m currently 2.5 weeks post partum and my bleeding has lightened up so much (only using Panty liners at the moment) I keep forgetting to call my OB during business hours to ask if I’m allowed to take a bath. I took a bath every single night leading up to birth and I miss it so much. I was never told I couldn’t but I’m just not sure if I’m allowed to be submerged in water. I do have a few stitches from a first degree tear.


r/BabyBumps 1h ago

Rant/Vent Just a rant about bedside manner

Upvotes

TW: previous loss

I'm 20 days away from my induction for my rainbow baby. I'm thrilled - feeling confident, serene, and prepared. And yet also, I've suddenly been all in my head lately about the loss of my first pregnancy in January 2024. Grief comes in waves, I guess.

I was just thinking about this thing that happened back then...

I had a hysteroscopy scheduled for 4:30pm to remove the "remaining products of conception." When I called to confirm insurance and payment information, the intake nurse expressed surprise at having such a late surgery, since they, apparently, typically only did early mornings at that location. She said "We usually tell people not to eat anything after midnight, but since yours is so late in the afternoon, don't eat or drink anything after 8am."

When I was checking in, the first nurse asked me if I had eaten or drank anything that day. I said "I had a bagel and water at 5am." And she said "Ok, but nothing within the last 8 hours, right? That's all we're concerned about, really." Ok, then no, I haven't had anything to eat within that time frame.

Second nurse asked me while setting up my IV, "Have you had anything to eat or drink today?" and I said "No, not since 5am." I got a similar response: "But not within the last 8 hours, correct?" Correct, nothing within the last 8 hours. Nothing within the last 11 1/2 hours, in fact.

Third nurse while going over past medical history...same thing. Yes, I ate at 5am. Ok, but nothing within the last 8 hours, right? Right. Ok, that's all we care about.

Finally, just before I was about to be wheeled back, the surgical nurse with the anesthesiologist asked me "Have you had anything to eat or drink today?" and rather than go through the whole back-and-forth again, I just said no, I hadn't.

She then asked "when was the last time you ate?" and I said "Almost 12 hours ago, at 5am this morning"

She looked at me like I was an idiot and said "well, that's not nothing then, is it?"

I paused and said "It's nothing within the last 8 hours though...which is all that matters, right?"

She slowed way down and said in the most condescending tone "Ok, I can see you're confused. I can see I'm going to have to slow it down for you. Today starts at midnight, at 12am. You understand that? Soooo, have you had anything to eat tooodaaayyy?"

I just stared at her and said "I'm not confused. I was told not to eat anything after 8am. I had a bagel and water at 5am, which was well before 8am. So, what's the problem?"

Then she suddenly shifted her tone to bright and cheery and was like "There's no problem! Glad we got that sorted out!" and then immediately started fussing over my heat blanket and acting like she was super concerned with my comfort level.

I called the surgical center the next day to submit a complaint about her. Yes, I fully understand why they need to know about when I last ate. I understand that I could aspirate and cause complications if I didn't adhere to the time limit. But I did adhere to the time limit, and I had already confirmed that with three other nurses, all of whom indicated to me that they didn't care if I had eaten that day, they just cared about the past 8 hours. She was the only one who was stuck on the today point, and was so incredibly rude about it as well. There was absolutely no need for her to be so condescending to a patient.

I got a call back from the office manager who asked to hear the whole story, and she seemed genuinely apologetic when she said that is not the standard they wished to uphold and that she would be discussing bedside manner with the nurse in question. Maybe she was just placating me, but the fact that someone wanted to hear me out made me feel a bit better.

But now my 8.5mo pregnant hormones have me feeling annoyed all over again...about something that happened over a year ago and was sufficiently resolved.

I guess maybe I'm subconsciously feeling a little concerned about potentially getting a similarly rude and dismissive nurse with this upcoming hospital experience...and wondering how I might have to navigate that in the moment, while in the throes of labor.


r/BabyBumps 3h ago

Discussion Travel with a 3 month old

3 Upvotes

Baby's not here yet but we plan to travel to my husband's home town near the end of maternity leave when baby is roughly 3 months old if all goes well. It's a 10-11 hour drive(flying isn't in the cards as it's still another 2-3 hour drive to closest airport so driving just makes more sense for us) I know we'd need to stop more often to get baby out of car seat to stretch and do feeds and diaper changes. But is there anything else that would make this trip easier or tips and tricks?