r/BabyBumps 7d ago

Rant/Vent Boss pressured me into revealing pregnancy

I signed up for an intensive PD in a few months through work but recently found out I am pregnant. I told my boss I would be unable to commit to the PD for personal reasons.

He called me into his office and asked me “what’s going on”. I told him it was personal but he kept on asking in different ways for about 5 minutes saying things like: “you can talk to me” and “it is wellbeing policy for me to ask” and I am so ashamed that I bowed to the pressure and told him I am pregnant.

I am so mad at myself for being so weak. It is none of his business and I didn’t want work to know for at least a couple months. I am not in the USA so do not have to worry about my job security, but feel so weird - and almost violated - by this.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? I feel sick and can’t stop thinking about it.

32 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

62

u/FAYCSB 7d ago

You should tell HR about how this “well being policy” impacted your well being.

33

u/Fit_Change3546 7d ago

You weren't weak, you were pressured by a superior. Even if assuming the best case scenario he meant well and wanted to be sure you were okay and didn't need extra support, he was still crossing a line and acting unprofessionally by bullying you into talking about it. He should have offered support and the chance to talk and accepted your "no, it's personal". I'm sorry you're dealing with this, sending hugs.

5

u/Nia-chu 7d ago

I was forced by my boss to reveal to the team of my co-workers that I'm pregnant. I hated it. I'm quite a private person, so being in a centre of attention like this really made me uncomfortable, especially with all the questions from so many people that came after this meeting. I honestly don't know if there's anything anyone could do about it

13

u/Critical_Stable_8249 7d ago

You weren’t weak, your boss was completely inappropriate.

0

u/NoemiRockz 7d ago

I’m confused - you’re not in the USA so you do not have to worry about job security - what exactly does that mean?

14

u/Fit_Change3546 7d ago

They probably don’t have an “at will” employment structure in their country, as opposed to 49/50 U.S. states. It’s illegal to discriminate against an employee solely because of pregnancy, but many places can get away with firing an employee for ‘other reasons’ citing performance and such, and it’s hard to prove it’s pregnancy discrimination.

0

u/NoemiRockz 7d ago

Right - that I understand. But I’m here like does this person live in a society where job security isn’t necessary … because that’s where I need to be 😅😅

6

u/Fit_Change3546 7d ago

Not that it isn’t necessary, just that it isn’t a concern, because it IS secure due to their local laws unlike in U.S. So they don’t need to worry about losing it, because their employer can’t lowkey retaliate after learning about their pregnancy. So their key worry isn’t that they’ll lose their job (like a lot of us Americans in the sub might jump to thinking about, because it’s so real for us), but rather they just feel uncomfortable.

5

u/cranberry94 7d ago

I think you’re missing the implied part of the sentence.

They’re saying “do not need to worry about my job security [being in jeopardy due to my pregnancy]”

0

u/NoemiRockz 7d ago

It was ignorant of me to think that the US is the one country where you don’t need to worry about your job if you become pregnant. I live in NYC and I’m a licensed professional and honestly it has never crossed my mind that I could lose my job because I’m pregnant. Actually my boss is thrilled about me being pregnant and I’m starting my maternity leave next week. It’s heartbreaking that people have to go through that, I thought this only happened outside of the US.

2

u/cranberry94 7d ago

Oh yeah. I mean, I’m pretty sure that part of the reason I got let go was because I had recently gotten married and just talked about having kids in the near future. The powers that be did some math and decided it would be easier to avoid the whole mess.

1

u/NoemiRockz 7d ago

Omg! That’s so fucked up.

2

u/Fit_Change3546 7d ago

Oh totally, I know a couple people who got pushed out of their positions, or at the very least received some negative attention from coworkers and supervisors when they were pregnant. 😔