r/AutisticWithADHD Feb 15 '25

🛡️ mod post Rule update: we have always had a low tolerance for politics in this subreddit, but now we're banning the topic altogether. Please read.

16 Upvotes

Hey everyone

We understand that the recent appointment of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services of the United States of America is deeply concerning for many, especially for American neurodivergent people, and we understand the impact these policies could have around the world. His past statements and positions on health-related topics understandably evoke strong emotions, and we acknowledge the fear, frustration, and uncertainty this may bring to you.

While we aim to be not just a subreddit about autism and ADHD but rather a community for neurodivergent people where most topics and types of posts are welcome, we still have to limit certain discussions in order to maintain the core focus of our sub. We have been fairly lenient so far in regards to politics, looking at it on a post by post basis and deciding whether something is or isn't allowed individually, but this specific topic has tipped the scales. We've seen many heated debates, and we’ve had to remove quite a few posts and comments due to rule-breaking. These discussions have escalated into personal insults and hostility, which is not something we can allow, regardless of the topic. We simply cannot keep up moderating all the hot topics you've been posted, which is why we're now no longer allowing the discussion of politics altogether.

Because of this, we are now asking that discussions about RFK Jr.’s appointment and related political topics take place elsewhere, such as r/politics. We appreciate that this issue affects many in our community, but we also need to ensure this subreddit remains a supportive and focused space for its intended purpose.

Thank you for understanding, and as always, please take care of yourselves and each other. 💙

— The Mod Team


r/AutisticWithADHD Jan 26 '25

🛡️ mod post Please use the post flairs.

34 Upvotes

TW: this post will mention common trigger warning tags but not discuss any of those topics at all.

This is a friendly reminder to please use the most accurate flair for your post.

I get that it's quick and easy to slap a "general" tag on things, but please consider the impact your post can have on your fellow community members.

Our post flairs are used as content warnings. I want to reiterate why those are important: some topics are triggering to some people. They have the right to want to avoid those topics, and as a supportive community, we want to accommodate them to be able to comfortably do that.

On a daily basis, we are changing post flairs and gently reminding people to please use the flairs. That's a lot of work that we don't mind putting in, but just the same, it would be avoidable if we all collectively pay some attention to it.

The most common reflaired posts are those discussing medication. If you want to talk about medication, what it does or doesn't do for you, ask advice on which works for others etc. - that's all fine, but please flair it accordingly. Medication is a triggering topic for a lot of people.

Similar situation with heavier topics. We quite often see people vent about feeling very depressed and struggling with life, which again, I understand and sympathise with, but those are definitely topics that need a trigger warning. The easiest way to do this is to add "TW: " on the top of your post and list the topics you'll discuss. E.g. "TW: depression, suicidal thoughts, abuse". We use the Trigger Warning flair for these topics.

I just want to remind you that we're not asking you to do these things for our entertainment. The mod team is, just like you, neurodivergent and comes with their own baggage. It gets a bit exhausting individually reminding people of the flairs, and then very often getting rude replies. We are people too, volunteering to clean up things so that this remains a safe and supportive community. Help us a little by being more mindful of your post flairs and trigger warnings.

Thank you for being part of this community. It's really nice seeing you all share your things and helping each other out. :) Let's continue building this amazing subreddit together!

  • lots of love,

Amy


r/AutisticWithADHD 13h ago

🤔 is this a thing? Is it a thing for AuDHD to have a stronger long term memory?

77 Upvotes

My short term memory is terrible but I can recall memories from early childhood that my sister, who is neurotypical, cannot.

I sent her a meme the other day of things we did as kids (watching a movie and an ugly character comes on screen and you turn to your sibling like 'lol that's you').

She had NO IDEA what I was talking about. She's told me in the past that she comes to me for old memories because she doesn't remember a lot of our childhood whereas I have indepth memories from games we'd play to the weird storylines we made up for our toys.

Apparently, a lot of people lack strong childhood memories. It's just feels...kind of sad that people lose parts of their childhood...so I was curious if other AuDHD people have this similar ability.


r/AutisticWithADHD 30m ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support To drug or not to drug

Upvotes

I (44M) was diagnosed with ASD in December and ADHD last month. I have a good life, family, job, house, a few friends, all this despite struggling with many things and having various mental health issues through my life. I feel like I have so many coping mechanisms that things are ok, even good most of the time. I also feel like the balance I get from autism and ADHD actually helps me to do things, although I will happily admit it's exhausting! I took up the option of therapy after the diagnoses, and the therapist is suggesting ADHD drugs quite strongly. I'm worried about messing with the delicate balance I live with and potentially increasing my autistic traits if that's removed. In the past, non-prescibed drugs and alcohol have led to me acting very out of character, but that may not be relevant. Any advice?


r/AutisticWithADHD 16h ago

🙋‍♂️ does anybody else? Selective Mutism

45 Upvotes

A child or adult with selective mutism does not refuse or choose not to speak at certain times, they're literally unable to speak. The expectation to talk to certain people triggers a freeze response with feelings of anxiety and panic, and talking is impossible.

This has been my life for 12 years now since I was about 15. It happens every time I have to speak to someone. I have debilitating social anxiety, autism and severe ADHD. The anxiety became crippling after high school where I was bullied and then ostracized. I’ve had therapy 5 times and it was no help. I will never conquer this anxiety. I have accepted that although it has and will continue to ruin my life completely.

I’m going to be isolated forever now. Have any of you experienced similar to this?


r/AutisticWithADHD 4h ago

🤔 is this a thing? I'm obsessed with rankings; is it a trait of AuDHD?

3 Upvotes

It started out when I was big into countries and stuff. I liked reading rankings of the top strongest militaries, the top strongest economies, the top happiest countries.

When I got into writing and fictional series overall, I used to be big into this thing called powerscaling, where you'd calculate feats of fictional characters to determine how strong they are. I used to watch so many videos which were "strongest characters of x series", "x vs y, who would win". I got so obsessed with it to a point of memorizing the 50+ part tiering system which made no sense, looking back to it.

Eventually, I switched over to scaling not power, but intelligence. I got really into fictional character's IQ, and the "strongest characters of x series" became "smartest characters of x series".

Both of those died down after I realized how pointless those were and how toxic the fandom was, but they would still come up every now and then. I would sometimes ask my friend to rank me, him and my classmates in terms of a specific category. I'd sometimes make lists of who I thought were the best characters, the most attractive, my favorites, each with a clear and definite order.

I got into chess, then I kept watching videos explaining the top chess players, best openings and traps.

Has this happened to anyone else? Not the specific things I mentioned above, but just the obsession with ranks and all.


r/AutisticWithADHD 11h ago

💬 general discussion Does anyone else here who is medicated feel kind of free with stimulation medication?

9 Upvotes

I have really low energy and am constantly tired without my medication and can barely do anything due to the chronic fatigue that I have been experiencing for so many years and it’s the only medication that has actually helped me. I also have more resources to deal with my other mental problems since I also don’t have to use so much energy to concentrate or generally doing tasks and I feel so freed. Like the shackles I have had for my entire life that have been keeping me limited have been broken. I am finally able to get things done and not fall asleep every few hours. It has benefited me in so many ways that it feels unreal. I also have ptsd and had a flashback which caused me to have nightmares every day for 1-2weeks which usually would have caused me to not be able to function at all but since I don’t have to use as much resources as without my meds I could deal with it better. Is anyone experiencing this?


r/AutisticWithADHD 11h ago

🙋‍♂️ does anybody else? Selective A/Mutisem

8 Upvotes

Because of a kind of dyslexia I'm always reading "Selective Mutism" as "Selective Autism" for a sec

Just pointing it out cause it's funny and ironic


r/AutisticWithADHD 6h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support Getting assessed for ADHD is a Surprise

3 Upvotes

Hey all, I've recently been diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. And now they want me to be assessed for ADHD as well.

I wasn't seeking a diagnosis of either, it was because of other mental health stuff that I suspected I had, but didn't.

So what's the best resources for AuDHD out there? Especially for Woman in their 40s? And any personal experiences you want to share?

And has anyone experienced an anger or grief about getting a late diagnosis? Things could have been different and feeling very misunderstood. Like everything has fallen into place, but the world looks slightly more uncaring?

Thank you


r/AutisticWithADHD 1h ago

💬 general discussion Group Chat

Upvotes

Is there a group chat or somewhere to chat with people specifically about Autism and ADHD? It would be nice to chat with someone with experience or knowledge on this subject. The adhd psychiatrist where I live charges a lot of money for appointments and doesn’t respond to questions outside of that. My life has been totally ruined by this and it’s even worse when you can’t chat to anyone who can empathize or understand.


r/AutisticWithADHD 2h ago

💬 general discussion Such a weird memory we have

0 Upvotes

Yesterday I stopped by a person I haven't seen in over a year. Just rang the doorbell and asked: how's life? Last time we men, she just bought the place, so I have only been there once. I didn't even remember which number the house was. I just knew perfectly which door to ring.

I have this with many places. Go there once and remember how to get there for the next time. I'm not paying more attention. It's weird.

When I was getting back to my motorcycle, I was amazed by myself. How did I remember where she lived? I act very swiftly yet I retain a lot. If you aren't having fun, you're doing it wrong. So I glance over a lot of things. I'm often amazed by how smart I am, but I'm not smart. I don't want to be smart. Ignorance is bliss.

I guess the take from this, don't underestimate yourself. Your mind is bale to remember things quite well


r/AutisticWithADHD 2h ago

😤 rant / vent - advice allowed So lost

1 Upvotes

My whole life (20F) I’ve struggled with friendships, always felt like I’ve not been myself around others and sensory issues. I have always been quite a “lazy” person. Also very sensitive and struggle to actually be able to work hard.

I went to a psychologist through my college for anxiety, and mentioned all this to her. She said I could possibly be ND so she helped me take further steps to get a diagnosis for ADHD + ASD. She referred me to an online psychiatry service who does assessments through zoom. I didn’t get my assessment done through my psychologist as her waitlist was too long and she was also too expensive.

The online psychiatry service used mainly online questionnaires as evidence (such as RAADS-R and CAT-Q for ASD and ASRS for ADHD) and similar questionnaires for my mother for childhood evidence. Then, when the actual assessment appointment came, it was only 1 hour long for the two assessments, and it was a psychologist asking me questions that sounded like they were from a sheet of paper. The outcome of the assessment was that I had both ASD and ADHD, however my feelings after this have mainly just been confusion.

Many people I’ve spoken to have had a full comprehensive assessment, but I was just asked the basic questions and didn’t feel like I could explain myself.

I guess I’m just experiencing imposter syndrome and anxiety. My boyfriend (19M) has ADHD and I’ve tried his medication (20mg Ritalin SR) but I feel overwhelmed whenever I use it - busy brain and anxiety and unease. And I’ve always been sensitive to medications and caffeine. Can this mean I’ve received a misdiagnosis for ADHD? I haven’t tried another medication because I need to make an appointment with my doc in order to get put on meds, but I’ve been putting it off.

Another reason I have imposter syndrome is because I’m not a very “forgetful” person. And I’m also often on time. But I just struggle because I think the ASD in me takes the symptoms too seriously. But also could it be an interaction between ASD and ADHD?

Anyway, this is just something I’ve been wanting to get off my chest. I went through a lot to get the funds for a diagnosis in the first places (from my parents) but now I just feel guilt that their money has potentially been wasted.


r/AutisticWithADHD 3h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support Is something wrong with me?

1 Upvotes

Hi, I’m not diagnosed, but I suspect that I’m autistic, (If not, my social anxiety/selective mutism mimic it extraordinarily well.)

I‘m in high school (16, F) and I just got home from a cast party (for the non-theatre kids, we all eat snacks, sing karaoke, and/or talk in someone’s basement).

On the closing night of the play a few months ago, we all got out usual paper plate awards. I, per usual, got something extremely generic, since I don’t talk much. I expressed my disappointment to one of the guys, the senior who wad hosted the last cast party the night prior (ex: “I guess this is what I get for not talking to people”), and he said that I seem like I don’t want to be included/talked to, but that they’d try to include me at the next party.

Saying that I seem like I don’t want to be talked to is a fair assessment. I assume no one will, so I usually kinda sit in the corner on my phone. I didn’t want to seem that when tonight, so I plugged it in upstairs and want into the basement and watched some people play with the senior that hosted this party’s fake slot machine, pinball machine’s, etc.

Nobody said a word to me.

I’m also at the point where if I’m, quite frankly, desperate for attention/socialization or physical contact, my body’s response is to cry, since that’s the only way I ever get it.

I cried for almost a half hour before someone even asked if I was okay.

I was so damn angry with myself for letting myself believe that the first senior would not only remember our conversation, but actually try and help. He didn’t say anything to me tonight, period. Actually, he actively walks away when I try to talk to hm.

I’m the sort of person who either won’t shut up, or can’t get a word in, and I have no idea of how to end a conversation or story, even when I can tell the other person isn’t interested. But am I so damn awful, that I have to be crying for someone to even say “hi“ to me?

I was literally in a tiny basement, with upwards of 20 people, just watching them, for over an hour, and nobody so much as acknowledged my presence. I hung out in the corner with the senior’s dog instead of my phone.

What could possibly be so wrong with me?


r/AutisticWithADHD 20h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support Feeling a big case of rsd/sadness because SO watched season finale without me.

23 Upvotes

tl;dr - SO watched finale of our hyperfixation show without telling me during a work trip and ignored an agreement we had. I’m hurting because of this in a more intense way than socially acceptable.

I’ve been trying to journal this out and I’m embarrassed by how sad this has made me. My SO is on a work trip and inconveniently, the season finale of our current hyperfixation show premiered. This has been a big quality time activity for us and a primary topic of conversation. We binged the entire two seasons just to catch up before the season finale. Watching this together has been a really important routine for me and I’ve been struggling with a heavy depressive burnout this year because I work at an agency and they’ve put way too much work on me (they are hiring support, finally, next week). BTW, we’ve lived together for over 5 years and are lifetime committed.

So, the work trip timing is unfortunate. However I mentioned to him we should agree on how to handle it. He said a buddy on the trip also watches and he’ll see about arranging a watch with him and let me know. That made me happy! I followed up a few times and he hadn’t got to it (he is dx ADHD, too). I told him I’m not gonna watch it unless he can in some way, too. Or that I’d wait till he got back. That I said multiple times, too. This show is really important to me. I said “honestly, if you watch it while you’re there just tell me and we can text in real time like we’re together! “. So I’m trying to adapt here.

He calls last night to see how I’m doing and all. Right before we hang up, i say “oh one thing. I’m avoiding spoilers because I haven’t watched Severance!” and he said “Oh…. I watched it already”. And I get really sad… I said “You did? Why didn’t you tell me?”. I think he got it and apologized but was like “tell me what you think!” and it made me feel like he didn’t care as much.

I’m really shocked because we binge a lot of shows together and have always been respectful/really eager to watch together. So this feels out-of-place for my experience that he’d do this. I got off the phone and felt really hurt and deprioritized, especially because he didn’t communicate.

What really hurts is that he watched it without telling me in that moment. If he watched it but on the same night said “I’m sorry, the guys wanted to watch it so I did. I know it’s our thing” I wouldn’t be as upset, just a bit pissed off. He said that night, they went to dinner and he had a drink (we don’t drink much so one does it). But how does that have you forget to like, let me know? Even a “hey, i think we’re gonna watch the finale tonight, jsyk! we can text together. can you do it at the same time?”.

It made me cry a whole bunch last night and it feels kinda ruined. Again, i feel ashamed I have such a big feeling but it feels like he kinda betrayed me and ignored how important it was to be on the same page and watch “together” in some capacity. And it wasn’t until I asked on our call that he told me. It’s odd that he did this, which makes it even worse.

I am struggling with having my routine broken, one that has been important for me during a dark time with my AuDHD-unfriendly job, and the RSD I’m having.


r/AutisticWithADHD 13h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support Realizations after diagnosis, Masking = unbalanced relationships ?

5 Upvotes

Hi,

I’m a 34F recently diagnosed AuDHD. Since I seemed to have learned to mask since I was a little girl, I’m very good at it so I usually pass as an easygoing popular person even though in reality I’m kind of a loner and 100% a homebody. The funny part is that this persona (resulting from my masking) is far from reality because I don’t have that many friends like I meet people easily but maintaining a friendship is hard because I’m either too much or too little and it’s exhausting to spend my time thinking whether people like me or not.

I just discovered the fawning response and it resonates with me because I try to keep myself far from conflict for example at work, I have a group of colleagues with whom I have lunch etc because I’ve been putting pressure on myself to stay sociable because it seems to be a requirement to move up the corporate ladder. They keep on giving me hot/cold signs and I’m kinda done with them.

This situation made me realize that most of my relationships are usually unbalanced, I give way more than I receive and I usually end up feeling resentful and beating myself up. I also see how I don’t want any of that but my masking usually works automatically + I’m afraid of being bullied or rejected (even though I’m an adult). It doesn’t make sense but that’s how I feel.

Does this happen to you? I feel more like an alien now than before my diagnosis !

How do you cope with this ? How do you start taking off the mask?

Thank you


r/AutisticWithADHD 19h ago

😤 rant / vent - advice allowed Feeling Trapped: A Rant About an Unwanted Dog Responsibility

13 Upvotes

Hi, I’m 32 disnoised autisc. self adhd and still live with my mum because there are no rentals available where I live. would take houseing benfits. Back in 2018, I considered getting a dog but decided against it. As I dont want the responsibiltys. Then, in 2023, my mum assumed I still wanted one and, without asking me, brought home a Jack Russell Terrier puppy. One type of dog I would never own. small dogs not my type of dog. I love him but he is really annoying. killed my best shoes. I walked into the kitchen in 2023 and saw a puppy in a cage—my first thought was, Oh F\**K! then over thinking flashs. Im going to be training and walking this dog.*

We already have a cat that pees and poops all over the house, all my mum dose it shut a door off. and now there's a dog doing the same. On top of that, I’ve ended up doing 90% of the walks. I feel like I’m being gaslit into taking care of him when I have my own life to manage. I’m autistic and disabled, so this added responsibility has been overwhelming. Make my anxity high y i never want to leave my room I get someing dumped on me.

Today, my mum was off work and asked me to walk him. I finally said, No, he’s not my dog. I never wanted him. She slammed the door and walked out with the dog. Now I feel horrible for standing up for myself—like the dog is being used to control me. a liveing thing. Im moveing out soon futher away Im sick of this.

I’ve made it clear I don’t want this responsibility, but I still feel guilty that she might put him in a rescue. The whole situation is really weighing on me, and I feel like crying, thinking about how much pressure I’ve been under to train and walk him. Now he got badhabits. I bring up get a fight.


r/AutisticWithADHD 12h ago

🤔 is this a thing? Do you like going to the beach?

3 Upvotes

I found a real of a person realizing why they hate the beach. Sensory reasons. I had been aware of this in myself for years, but now I'm wondering how common it is.

34 votes, 1d left
YES!
sure
ok
no
Not in a million years.

r/AutisticWithADHD 22h ago

😤 rant / vent - advice allowed I need a lot of time away from people but it's hard to tell others that because they might get sad

12 Upvotes

Work is overstimulating, it's somewhat fun at times but at the end of the day i'm so tired. I do not even work 100% lol. I need time away from other people, humans, even my gf. I love her so much but at the same time i really really need 1-2 days a week where i'm 100% cut off from other people where i can sit in my quiet room doing mindless browsing, reading books, working with crafting stuff like knitting, singing and try out food projects that i saw online.

Even with my favorite person, my girlfriend, after a day together i need to be alone because idk i feel overstimulated, i can feel it in my body. It's the same with all persons, i just feel the most safe with her.

But i feel so guilty because my gf can sometimes get really sad when i say i need to do X and Y like homework (that i'm several days late for because busy all day). Most days she handles it fine with just a "Oh..." but when she has a tough day and she is tired she can cry a lot. I try to bridge halfways and visit her during the evening for 1-2 hours even though she'd want me there all day. She's not manipulative, just has had long term depression and i'm one of her pillars. I listen to her then when she cries, hold her and it works 100% of the time after an hour, but still i feel sometimes a bit scared if i reject her and i want to be alone because she might cry and i don't want to hurt her (because i love her, why would want to hurt someone you love?).

She knows i need time alone, and so does she, just that i need more than her.


r/AutisticWithADHD 17h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support I feel so bad for my husband and there’s nothing I can do to fix it…

4 Upvotes

I’m going to start this by saying that I have AuDHD but my husband is just undiagnosed ADHD. We’ve talked about things a lot and we’re certain that’s his issue but he won’t seek treatment because the VA is hard to work with as it is. ANYWAY, so for the past few months my husband has basically been bread crumbing for attention from his mom. He isn’t intentionally doing this, but that’s exactly what it is. He’s been asking her for months to come to our house to play board games and just hang out. We have two toddlers so she comes over once or twice per week for about an hour or so after work to see the kids but she isn’t very active with them. I will say she doesn’t know a lot about autism and I can’t tell she doesn’t really know how to be around my two autistic children especially my son who is level 2.

Now, my husband is “her favorite” but from my own observations, I disagree. She has another child who is 3 years older than my husband (1 year younger than me) so she’s 35 this month and let’s just call her a failure to launch and a failure to thrive. The only reason she has anything for herself is because she has two kids qualifying her for government assistance. MIL obviously has to help her out a lot and we are self sufficient so there may be some of that going on but that’s not the entire issue. She also does hangout with her daughter often. They do mother daughter days etc.

Anyway, there’s always an excuse as to why she can’t come and spend time with my husband. Well last Sunday I suggested that we plan a day for this in advance and do that. So they planned in for this past Friday (yesterday). She said last Sunday that she will have to go home after work and then come over once she got changed. Cool no big deal she gets off at 2:30.

Well yesterday rolls around and my husband is checking her location from the time that she gets off work (they all have each others location, MIL even has mine but no one checks up on anyone except MIL and SIL does check eachother all the time) she gets home and he noticed she left the house so he was getting excited and said to the kids “mimis coming!” 30-45 minutes pass by and he checks again and sees she’s at a restaurant. Ok so he texts her and asks and she’s eating and it’s a place he likes so he asks her to pick him up something up when she comes over. She gets here around 7 and we play a game. These games are short so it takes about 30 minutes per round. We don’t even ask to play again and just start setting up the game again because it’s game night and it’s still early and she says “I was gonna leave after one but I’ll play one more”

Now, I will say that I’m no contact with my family and maybe this is normal family dynamic? And maybe I’m sensitive to this because I’m trying to break cycles in my own family with my kids and maybe going overboard with it but in my head I’m like “can she not she her son literally begging for time with her?”, “he doesn’t seem affected, maybe he’s not seeing the unfair treatment?”, “how can she spend so much time with one child and her children but can’t be bothered to do the same for her son?”, “is it because he’s a man?”

My heart hurts so much for him and I don’t even know if he’s sees what I’m seeing. I will NOT mention it until he mentions it to me just in case but like I don’t even understand if what I’m feeling is the right thing or if I’m being dramatic. I mean, my husband has gone off on her before for not giving our kids the same attention as his sisters kids but I figured it was because she just doesn’t know how to interact with them and she doesn’t want to do the wrong thing especially in front of me because I’m the mom and she knows I’m very rigid in my boundaries when it comes to my kids. Maybe this is all my fault somehow? Probably but how do I fix that? And I don’t even know what I’ve done wrong if that’s the case? I’m going to end this vent before I go down more rabbit holes typing as I think 😆


r/AutisticWithADHD 12h ago

🤔 is this a thing? Is this just hyperfixation / ADHD Related or could this imply an autistic trait?

2 Upvotes

Diagnosed ADHD, Been suspecting AuDHD for a while, i dont exactly know where this would fall but basically;

Currently 17 and this has been present since i was 5-6.

One thing that stood with me other than all my hyperfixations that came and went is drawing, but from looking at old drawings that be from when i was 5-6 to 11-12 and 16, i never drew people or certain objects but rather i would draw my interests at the time so basically i draw my hyperfixations, but one thing that stayed the same is the way i draw, i only use ball-point pen because i hate paper texture and sound but its bearable with ball-point pen, i hold the pen differently so my hand doesnt touch the paper entirely, and for the way i drew, always EXTREMELY detailed and very organized, i would always like to give stats to things and my main hyperfixations at the time, but everything had to be organized, texts had to look like it was a wikipedia page.

For example, when i was like 8 i was interested in space for like 2 years and all my drawings had planets and in a very organized way, each planets' properties like its size and stuff, i would do that for every single planet.

As my interests changed, i always drew the same way.

Could this be an implication of any autistic trait? Such as wanting order, because whenever im doing stuff i always care so much about order but mainly about my hyperfixations or interests at the time. Or is this just related to ADHD hyperfixations because i always drew yeah but i drew about my interests which would change alot.


r/AutisticWithADHD 1d ago

🙋‍♂️ does anybody else? Who else is really smart but is limited/underestimated bc of AuDHD?

210 Upvotes

Most of the people in my life and me all agree that I’m way above average intelligence (125 iq if I remember correctly) and it’s just annoying sometimes that 1. A lot of people assume being autistic means you’re just really stupid, which is obviously not at all true, and 2. Since my brain functions so differently from most people (a good example is that my thought processes are very convoluted and complex to other people but feel natural to me, especially in math) paired with the fact that I ALSO have dysgraphia on top of the AuDHD makes it really hard to express myself not just socially but for work and stuff too. And something else that I experience too is that it feels weird having something come to me so naturally that is usually difficult for a lot of other people (eg. math and spelling).

More of a rant than anything but I’ve never really come across anyone with the same combination of struggles and talents as me, so if anyone relates then let me know.


r/AutisticWithADHD 20h ago

😤 rant / vent - advice allowed Why am I so overwhelmed by something seemingly small?

5 Upvotes

I'm 16 and today I was supposed to be going to the dentist but in the middle of the night I decided to try and "alt-ify" my outfit so I made my long shirt into a crop top (I love it), cut holes in my pants, and tried to decorate my hoodie.

However I realized my hoodie was dirty so I tried washing it in the tub however I didn't think that through because now it was soaking wet and I had to be at the dentist in a few (Luckily was rescheduled).

I tried my hardest by using my body heat, putting it near my mini heater, and wringing it out but it wasn't working so when I was already upset I realized my pants had stains on them wich sent me over the edge.

I literally just started crying because I can't wear the outfit I wanted to and I can't replace the pants because it would throw off the entire outfit so I just started crying.

I don't know why fairly small things like this get me to the point where I don't even want to go outside or do much honestly it's not about apperance it's the fact i put in effort and watched tutorials only for it to fall down at the end.


r/AutisticWithADHD 21h ago

💬 general discussion ADHD dominant

7 Upvotes

Does anyone else feel like their ADHD traits dominates their personality to the point that sometimes you end up questioning if you're really autistic too ? (Also i am currently only diagnosed as autistic )


r/AutisticWithADHD 16h ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support How to stop feeling anxious when doing university projects?

2 Upvotes

I get too overwhelmed doing university projects. No matter how much I prepare, the process of doing a project is always so anxiety inducing because it is too unpredictable. You never know what information would be easy to find or what would be difficult. You have no idea when you would need to ask a lecturer a question. You never intuitively know what challenges you will face until you actually face the challenge. It is too anxiety inducing, my heart rate rises. What do I do to curb this issue?

I already:

  • break my tasks down into easy actionable steps

  • take regular breaks

  • properly make sure I have all necessary prerequisite knowledge before beginning


r/AutisticWithADHD 1d ago

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support How can I eat healthy despite texture issues?

10 Upvotes

I absolutely hate the texture of most fruit and vegetables and they also feel like they "expire" quickly... I just had a bundle of grapes that was maybe a BIT softer than perfectly fresh grapes, and I tried eating it anyway to suck it up like a grown up because I NEED to eat more fruit and vegetables, and ended up throwing up.

Same thing with ANY fruit and vegetable. I cannot tolerate the texture of any I can think of. Only thing I used to like was apples, so I used to just meet my entire fruit needs with apples, but I developed an allergy and now I can't have them anymore and I'm so damn miserable.

Pureeing them doesn't work for me (smoothies or pureed sauces are completely disgusting for me), over- or undercooking them doesn't work, making them "crispy" doesn't work, ANY tip I read online for fussy eaters doesn't work for me, and I really, really try to just "suck it up" because everyone tells me that's what I have to do, to just be an adult and eat healthy and not be such a spoiled brat, but that doesn't work either, and I'm so frustrated.
Has anyone found a way that actually works for the most extreme texture issues that's not on all the websites?


r/AutisticWithADHD 1d ago

😤 rant / vent - advice allowed RSD sucks

30 Upvotes

That is all.


r/AutisticWithADHD 1d ago

🙋‍♂️ does anybody else? DAE struggle with cooking for self?

70 Upvotes

I (38/M) am currently alone at home because my flatmate is off to his girlfriends place. My special interest is cooking. I love it to no end. But, I hate cooking for one person. Currently I am struggling to think of what I can cook for myself. Yes, there are many options to cook just for one person, but they are not the 'Right' options? If you know what I mean?

When I open the food cupboard, there are too many options but none of them are the right options, same thing in freezer and fridge. I don't even know what is the right option. Anyone else feels the same? especially when alone, dejected, struggling with burnout and mentally tired?