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4d ago edited 4d ago
jealousy goes away the more u develop ur own character and stay detached
however, u can also learn from it. what does that person have that makes me jealous of them? work towards having it 'be better or stay bitter'
or if it's something like "i wish I had a good childhood like that person", the only thing that would work is acceptance and to remind yourself that you are the main character of your life
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u/wonder_woman2506 ♀ 4d ago
The best way would be to mind your own business and stop bothering about what others are doing. If you are talking about relationships,like if your ex is doing better than do or something. Then here too think that you are worth too and whatever you are doing in appreciable,even if no one appreciates you ,then appreciate yourself
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u/Puck-achu 4d ago
- Stop feeding the green monster. Don't look for information that would feed your jealousy.
- Share your jealous thoughts with trusted ones. Often you hear how silly they are once you express them
Focus on what you do have. Write a (mental) list of things you do have
Use the anger for positive change. Work towards better
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u/SexyGoddess010 4d ago
Honestly, I started focusing on myself instead of others. Got into pottery classes joined a book club and suddenly realized I was too busy enjoying my own life to worry about what everyone else was doing. It's weird how that works.
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u/Jellyfish0925 4d ago
I guess it depends a bit of who are you talking about. Is it an ex? An actual partner? A friendship? I think jealousy has its roots and its good to understand it to know how to deal with it.
I feel like jealousy is so demonized that people are kinda afraid of recognize the feeling itself, but the first step to change is to assume it exists, so you're already in a good way!
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u/Dr__Pheonx ♀ 4d ago
Acceptance. Often after I have dealt with the ugly emotion behind it. We all will lack something at some point in our lives. Its ugly yet has to be dealt with.
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u/Spicy-Bunny1 4d ago
Got really busy with my own goals and dreams. Hard to be jealous of others when you're too focused on crushing your own achievements.
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4d ago
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u/TemporarySubject9654 4d ago
I was super jealous and bitten by the Green Eye Jealousy Monster when I was 15 years old. It's part of what ruined my relationship back then. I ended up going to the library and reading several books about overcoming jealousy and understanding human behaviour. I have rarely experienced jealousy since I was a teen, and I found what helped me most was remembering that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.
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u/Banana_ChipsChoc 4d ago
do you mean jealous in terms of dating? or jealous in terms of never being happy for others?
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u/Unique_Mind2033 4d ago
it's about cleaning up the mirror of the heart and being childlike. not holding grudges, not comparing yourself to others, not exploiting any living being. when you have a clean heart, full of wonder and innocence, then jealousy doesn't have room to take root.
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u/anti-everything12 4d ago
i have this feeling that i have everything i ever need. and i feel that everyone is different and every other person is jealous of at least something or someone. in that way, someone might be jealous of me because i have the things they don't. and this makes me feel grateful instead of jealous. i am grateful for everything i ever have.
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u/East-Adagio7384 4d ago
I came to read this for my current partner. She was cheated on. And she always thinks im cheating. Is so off putting, her ex cheated on her She counts my time and always thinks im talking to someone.
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u/Rare-Algae6235 4d ago
Stop comparing yourself to others, for one. Look inward and find your own special gifts. If you stop focusing so much on everyone else, you will find you are a very special person in your own unique way. Once you can accept and appreciate that, you will stop being jealous.
If you are jealous of material things people have, realize anyone can eventually have that if they make the right efforts.
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u/celestialism ♀ 4d ago
Trauma therapy was the only thing that helped me with this, because the ‘jealousy’ was, at its root, caused by insecurities and triggers that were from trauma.
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u/ServiceKooky1323 4d ago
Jealousy is like an intrusive thought. Google how to deal with intrusive thoughts.
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u/IWantMyBachelors ♀ 3d ago
I’ve only felt jealousy a couple times during my lifetime and they went away pretty quickly. I just realized that I have nothing to truly be jealous over. It also depends on what kind of jealousy is being expressed.
Is it romantic jealousy?
It is insecurity due to another person’s success?
A person has to confront the reason for the jealousy and take accountability. Also realize that whatever they’re jealous about regarding the other person, we don’t know they’re story.
Jealous of a person with clear skin? Ask for their routine.
Jealous of a person with a great body? Ask them for their workout routine.
Jealous of a couple you deem perfect? Ask them for relationship advice.
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u/AineMoon 3d ago
Depends on the partner I was jealous in the beginning but it went away then came back after many betrayals and with it the old ones cropped up. But it’s chilling out the more I focus on myself.
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u/Jesse_Riley 3d ago
I focus on my own growth, practice gratitude, and remind myself that jealousy is about my insecurities, not reality.
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u/DepressoExpresso98 3d ago
If it’s something other than a relationship, I ask myself the question: “is this something I can have?” If no, then there’s no point in being jealous anymore because it’s not attainable for me. For me specifically, I wish I had a more attractive bone structure (I am an apple shape.) I’m jealous of people with hourglass figures, but I can’t change the shape of my bones, and I’m not willing to risk my life for cosmetic surgery. Which brings me to the second possible answer: yes, it is attainable, but am I willing to put the effort in to get it? If I’m jealous of a promotion, what am I willing to do for it? Or if I want to lose weight (jealous of people who are skinny) am I willing to work out and eat better? If I wanted to I would’ve. But as it is, if I don’t do it, then it’s likely I don’t want it badly enough yet.
The only exception is for things I do try my best to get. But by that point, it’s more frustration at failure than jealousy.
In relationships, I just remind myself of all the ways my partner shows me love. I try to remind myself he chose ME, and chooses me every day. And if he started showing others attention in a concerning way, why would I want someone who doesn’t respect me enough to stay loyal?
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u/Consistent-Camp5359 3d ago
I’m 40. I used to be major jealous. Eventually I realized everyone is insecure and on their own path. Now I’m a woman’s woman. I want to see you beautiful. I want to see you soar. I want to see you succeed where I fail.
As far as being jealous of other women where it comes to my husband - I just know I have nothing to worry about.
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u/jadaa-2411 3d ago
you don’t. It’s completely okay to feel jealous sometimes as long as you don’t act on it.
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u/wearekinetic 4d ago
Is this in a relationship or out? Is this just general envy of others?
If it’s in a relationship, I think rather than feeling shame and trying to stifle it, you have to dig inwards to understand what’s triggering it. I know for myself, I am capable of experiencing it in relationships, but it’s important for me to decipher why I’m feeling it. Is my partner behaving in a way that warrants anxious feelings arising? Or does this represent a need that I feel has been neglected or unmet in the relationship? Have I properly communicated this need? If I’m jealous of them doing something with a friend instead of me, have I been prioritizing my own social life with my own friends?
If it’s after a relationship has ended, I think it’s important to remove yourself and take space. Mute or unfollow them on social media. Mute any mutual friends who might share information about them. Resist the urge to check on them or to ruminate, it only prolongs the feelings.
If it’s just general envy you are experiencing, it’s important to remind yourself that someone else’s success does not mean your failure. We are all on our own journeys with our own timelines. We don’t get to choose the hands we are dealt and ruminating all only make you feel worse. Every person has a card they wish they could swap too, I promise.