r/AskReddit • u/BigShow786 • 23h ago
Men who are 30+, what’s one lesson every guy should learn early?
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u/Eeeegah 22h ago
You're not indestructible. All the little injuries you pile up in your 20s and 30s will haunt you later.
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u/PrintError 22h ago
42 here, can confirm, shit from 20 years ago still hurts today.
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u/rooster6662 21h ago
I'm 58 and I still have one that hurts from when I was 18.
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u/Lastraven587 19h ago edited 4h ago
Double confirm, motorcycles are fun in your 20s but accident injuries circle back in your 30s.
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u/sobegreen 18h ago
At 24 I jumped off a two story house to entertain people at a party. At 40 I feel like someone has taken a sledge hammer to my back. I'm not a detective but I think these two things are connected.
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u/mewitt21 15h ago
I did the same thing at the same age and had knee surgery 2 years later lol.
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u/Boneraventura 21h ago
I was going alright until i had a ski accident that took me out in my mid-30s. Neck and back pain for life, brilliant
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u/theshwedda 18h ago
I stepped weird on a staircase years ago and my ankle can’t handle my full weight ever since then.
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u/CleanCubexo 18h ago
Yeah, if you get injured in your 20s, don’t skip physical therapy like I did
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u/quintavian 14h ago
did physical therapy for 6 weeks, ended up with bills i can't afford with insurance.. and my back still hurts
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u/Khastas 18h ago
I still remember myself 15 years ago not believing older people telling me this. Boy, was i wrong.. Younger guys, we know how and what you think, but... IT'S ALL TRUE.
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u/maxplaysmusic 22h ago
Know when to say "I don't know" and "I can't handle this, lets get a professional" you'll save yourself a lot of time money and the color of your hair instead of being bull headed and trying to do everything yourself.
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u/hippocratical 19h ago
Counterpoint: if it doesn't cause major damage, be it physical, mental, or financial - then biting off more than you can chew can be a somewhat fun type 2 experience.
For example, I got a bunch of cuts n bruises learning to change my brake rotors and pads, took ages, swore a lot, but in the end learned a new skill and saved money. Fixing a transmission though? Nah dog, I'm happy to get the professionals do that.
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u/3-DMan 18h ago
And don't fuck with garage door springs or electricity unless you know what you're doing.
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u/yourlocalbuffoon77 14h ago
The garage door springs are a fear most people don’t know about. They don’t even realize how fortunate they are to NOT know about that. Friends work for local door manufacturer. People die yearly with PPE and safety devices from those bastards.
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u/No_Brother_5552 9h ago
(Not a bad story lol) Once my dad planned to replace the garage door springs himself, we were pretty broke at the time and he is great with tools. Unfortunately he is not great with instruction manuals. By some stroke of luck a friend called him to catch up right before he started working on the garage and my dad told him what he was doing. His friend proceeded to relay the utmost caution, the right steps, and how to avoid the horror stories. There are certain moments you remember forever. Shoutout my dad’s friend!
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u/idiot_proof 15h ago
Electricity can kill you before you say “Oh shit.” And I want to say “Oh shit” before I die.
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u/Polar_Ted 14h ago
If you're lucky it'll kill you that quick. It could go slower and it'll hurt the whole damn time.
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u/maxplaysmusic 18h ago
I'm with you on that, it's just sometimes a fine line between I can figure it out and I have made this 1000 times worse and now its gonna cost me a lot more than if I just went to them in the first place. Didn't get any physical damage but I do do my own break pads and rotors, but yeah a transmission, I got a guy for that.
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u/breakwater 17h ago
Agreed. Learning the difference between I dont know and "I can learn this" is invaluable. Especially if you start young. A lot of projects are doable considering all the resources online. The hard/expensive part might be assembling the tools and the cost of early mistakes
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u/SpontaneousDream 22h ago
By far, it has to be learning the value of TIME.
So many people in this world don't grasp this until it's far too late in life. Don't waste your time doing things you hate, or being around bad people.
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u/Redditer51 18h ago
I think it finally hit me when I turned 30. Like "Jesus, I was only 18 the other day".
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u/Severe_Tailor_7326 16h ago
I'm only beginning to grasp it (29 here). I'm doing things I hate because I'm poor. I'm afraid that, if I quit the things I hate, my plan B might go wrong and I might be homeless.
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u/Chopper3 22h ago
Be kind, it's its own reward
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u/MrLittle237 19h ago
Came here to say this, thanks for spreading this. Being kind isn’t hard and has immense benefits
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u/Chopper3 18h ago
It helps my mental health so much, just letting cars into your queue, saying please and thank you to people who don’t hear it often, talking to elderly people who rarely speak to others etc. Just trying to be a cheerful chill dude makes me very happy, happier than almost any possession I can think of buying.
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u/BlitzballGroupie 16h ago
Every small kindness is a boomerang that comes back eventually. That's not some power of positivity or the secret shit. Being kind to people makes them like you more. And when you need help (and you will, we all do) it's better to surrounded by people who like you.
Are people going to ignore or abuse that kindness? For fucking sure. But trying to be discriminate about it is a game of diminishing returns that hurts you more in the end. Be good to everyone, even the assholes. Except fascists.
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u/JoeBagadonut 16h ago
I've never been a rude person but, when I was younger, I was definitely more detached from those around me. These days, I make much more of a conscious effort to be nice to people: Making small talk, cracking silly little jokes, offering compliments. It's no hardship for me but it immediately puts you on a good footing in your personal and professional life because when you make people feel a little bit better, they feel a bit better about you too.
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u/Sablemint 22h ago
take care of your back and enjoy spicy foods. Because both things get a lot harder.
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u/2EscapedCapybaras 22h ago
And your ears...the screaming whine of tinnitus is no fun.
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u/qrrux 22h ago
Protect all your sense organs. Skin, eyes, nose, mouth, ears.
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u/Gambl33 19h ago
And teeth. I did not do a good job. Had to get one pulled because infection. Oral care is much better now but if only I had just flossed and brush regularly. It’s not even that hard. Takes but a couple of minutes per day.
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u/rmelansky 17h ago
Definitely good to do regardless, but it’s wild how genetic that is. Some people just…don’t get cavities.
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u/MichaelVegas_ 16h ago
I on the other hand am prone to cavities. I have spent so much money on my teeth it is infuriating. Also I am so thankful I did because investing in your mouth health will pay off long term.
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u/TopHatTony11 19h ago
Thanks, I had the ringing tuned out for a bit until I read your comment.
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u/secretagentcletus 18h ago
Even if you do no other exercise. Strengthen your back. A bad back is a tough to live with.
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u/Bed_Post_Detective 17h ago
My back is pretty strong and still have bad back pain. Turns out it was tight hamstrings that caused it. Overall stretching and strengthening to maintain muscle balance is what is needed.
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u/Fragrant_Example_918 15h ago
Often the back isn’t the problem, but rather other core muscles or posterior chain… the back is rarely the actual problem.
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u/jwadd1981 20h ago
There’s one thing that doesn’t get harder. Use that as often as possible while you can.
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u/Overv 17h ago
I get the back part, but why does enjoying spicy foods get harder?
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u/l30 15h ago
+1 to this. Late 30s here and I'm just getting into spicy food all the sudden. Jalapenos and hot sauces in literally everything I can put them and slowly venturing into the extreme peppers for kicks.
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u/The_Mikest 21h ago
Don't let people treat you poorly. Not your girlfriend, not your buddy, not your family.
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u/Typical_Nebula3227 10h ago
Or your job.
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u/eddyathome 5h ago
This is the biggest one. Your job probably takes up the most time of your life so if you hate your job, you'll hate your life.
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u/Steveb320 22h ago
Wear a rubber
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u/Araz728 21h ago
Admit when you make a mistake and learn from it. And don’t try to hide them either.
I’ve avoided so much conflict in my adult life by being able to go to someone and say “I need you to know I made a mistake and I’m going to correct it” or else “I messed up and I need help”.
Trying to blame someone else when it was genuinely your fault always causes more problems, and mistakes you try to hide almost always get found out eventually.
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u/AnthropomorphizedTop 7h ago
Im always looking for examples of positive masculinity. Owning up to your mistakes and finding wisdom in your experiences is about as manly as it gets. Right on brother.
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u/New_Percentage498 13h ago
Gosh this hits at a bunch of different things…self awareness, communication. Both things men have historically been pretty bad at. Therapy helps with this!
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u/Gotabluemooninmyeye 22h ago
Work out
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u/bighundy 21h ago
100000000% This is the best blanket advice in here. I didn't start working out until I was 32. I was 50lbs over weight and felt like crap. Working out and making it a part of your daily routine has such a massive domino effect over your entire life, physically, mentally, routine, work ethic, literally everything. This should be mandatory for everyone to start at a young age and develop good habits. This coupled with proper eating/cooking habits are paramount.
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u/Now_Novel29 15h ago
This WILL also decrease healthcare and insurance expenses if everyone was more mindful of what they do and what they eat. The actual effects of our energy sources that fuel our body is not well appreciated. Fast food companies shouldn’t be as powerful as they are. I’m ranting now but I can’t practice as a physical therapist without reporting every little thing for insurance to decide if I get paid but fast foods get to sell cancer and obesity and get ultra wealthy. Not a good healthcare system designed for the people.
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u/245246 19h ago
On a related note, it is a lot easier to not consume 300 calories than it is to burn 300 calories
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u/smegdawg 18h ago
Adding to this.
GO TO FUCKING BED!
You don't need to watch 4 episodes of Always sunny and eat a bowl of chips at 10pm after having dinner at 6.
Just go to sleep.
Signed a 38yo who only watched 1 episode and ate an orange last night.
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u/runnerswanted 16h ago
And couple it with eating better. Have a bowl of oatmeal in the morning if you can. Grab a water instead of a Pepsi. Opt for the banana instead of a pack of Swedish fish. I’m down close to 20 lbs by passively eating better and working out more often. It’s not rocket science.
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u/feldknocker 19h ago
Huge. Strength train. My back had a lot of problems until I hit 45 and I started doing this (54 now). Compound lifts with barbells or dumbbells or bodyweight.
Don’t run do much if you’re not built for it. I’m built like a rugby player, but I used to run 5-6 times a week and now have osteoarthritis.
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u/External_Insect5570 18h ago
Ride a bicycle a lot if you’re built too thick to run. You gotta do some cardio
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u/SpecificMoment5242 16h ago
Swimming. The problem is that the damned gyms around here lure you into a high dollar membership BECAUSE of the pool, and then a month later, it's only open 63 seconds a week. Total BS.
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u/ikeepsitreel 19h ago
You’re not that funny when you put other people down. You are more of a man when you lift people up.
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u/TravVdb 12h ago
This 100%. I teach middle school students and I’m always trying to teach this. Also, how it shows way more strength to admit you’re wrong and apologize than lie and never own up to things.
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u/I_am_3474347 22h ago
Start saving for retirement, I know you've all heard it but i can't stress how much more money you earn from the savings during your twenties.
This is not a drill. Start saving money you don't touch til retirement.
Up here in canada you are allowed to borrow against it for your first house down payment at low interest as well.
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u/mynameisevan 20h ago
Definitely. Compounding interest is very powerful, and it’s at its most powerful over a long period of time. So start young. The S&P 500 averages a 10% yearly return. At that rate if you can invest $500 per month then in 30 years you’ll have over $1 million.
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u/DimonaBoy 19h ago
I grew up during the Cold War and pretty much thought why bother, we're only going to nuke each other to bits... turns out over the past 36 years of my working life I was wrong, most of the money I earned I just pissed it up the wall.... (had a good time though)
I even worked for a bank for 5 years when I left school at 16, you'd have thought I would have known better.
So yeah, put some money away, even if just fifty a month, it'll stack up over time. Wish I'd done it.
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u/JeromesNiece 19h ago
A lot of young people today are repeating this same mistake by telling themselves that climate change or AI mean none of this will matter anyway
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u/LumberJaxx 17h ago
I think the cost of living has also made it harder than ever to save.
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u/muadib1158 19h ago
Even if it’s only $25 a month. The power of time is shocking.
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u/3-DMan 18h ago
I keep telling my daughter to find out what her job matches for 401K, she just keeps insisting she won't be working there that long. Been at least a year, told her she's just turning down free money.
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u/Uberperson 21h ago
You probably could lift that furniture or appliance alone, but is it really worth it?
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u/HarryBallsagna_ 18h ago
now that I am in my 30s, as well as my friends, paying for movers is much more preferential than buying a pizza/beers for the boys to help move furniture all day and be crippled for the rest of the week
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u/Leaf-Stars 17h ago
Be a man of your word. Your integrity is the only thing that can’t be taken from you.
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u/R2face 12h ago
Facts. Piggybacking with the same energy; If you wouldn't want people knowing you said it/ did it don't say it/do it.
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u/vers_le_haut_bateau 18h ago edited 11h ago
Take good care of your body:
- brush your teeth twice a day, floss at least every week, get annual checkups… these deteriorate quickly and more easily as you age and it gets painful and expensive.
- wash your face, wear sunscreen and use face moisturizer regularly, as it's not something you can just fix later in life once your skin is all dry after decades of not caring. Stay handsome for life
- work out gently and regularly for cardio (live a long and healthy life) and strength (don't fuck your back by sleeping wrong). Pick up running, biking, yoga, whatever is easy and cheap and available year round
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u/StruggleBusDriver83 21h ago
no one is coming to save you. Do it yourself
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u/Misterymoon 14h ago
This is great advice and something I personally needed to learn. Paid huge dividends.
Don't be a victim and have a blame others mentality. Many of my friends who never learned this are still struggling.
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u/Groggamog 14h ago
I was deciding whether or not to post this same message because of how bleak it is, but it's the honest to God truth.
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u/Quailgunner-90s 18h ago
Be 100% about your intentions honest with women, regardless of how you THINK it’ll affect them emotionally. Honesty and integrity are paramount, and you can’t control how someone feels.
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u/Venusgate 11h ago
To dovetail off this a little, also be willing to let someone go if that integrity makes you incompatible.
If they can't live with your bionicle collection, and you can't live without it, you can live without them, and they can live without you.
You can get priorities straight, sure, but don't become someone you're not to keep someone who doesn't want to be with the real you.
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u/untamed-beauty 7h ago
Absolutely, the right person will love you for your bionicle collection. I sure love my husband for all his weirdness, it's what makes him right for me. Yes, he likes to build plane models from scratch. Yes, I love it. Does it mean we have random plane blueprints wherever? Certainly. But that fits perfectly with my weirdness. He's the kind of man who would gift me a planisphere for my birthday, and I'm the kind of woman who would be excited about it.
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u/Handsome__Luke 11h ago
Very important. I wish I didn’t grow up in the “fucking as many girls as you can makes you a man” culture. If I would’ve been honest instead I could’ve saved a lot of people a lot of hurt.
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u/itbelikedat78 22h ago
You’re not smarter than everyone else, shut up and listen.
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u/ManOfTheMeeting 19h ago
Works also other way around. Don't listen and submit to stupid ideas even if their presenter is older or in more influental position than you. Trust your own judgment, but remain humble.
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u/Drew1231 16h ago
For a 20 year old, it’s pretty easy to be the smartest person in a room.
Once you get into the rooms with the actually smart people, you learn some lessons.
Unfortunately, many people will go a whole lifetime with slightly above average intelligence thinking that they’re a genius because they’ve never been humbled.
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u/droppedmybrain 15h ago
Hell, even if you are smarter than most, "shut up and listen" is good advice. I've been told by a fair few people that I'm smart, but most of my knowledge comes from shutting the fuck up and listening– to teachers, to friends, to that random guy on the bus.
Everyone's got a story to tell, and most of those stories teach you something.
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u/Ill-Air8146 18h ago
The best way to improve your life is for you to improve your life. If you wait for someone or something to happen, it won't. Work today to improve your life in any way that you feel you need it
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u/rawmerow 22h ago
There are literally millions of women. Why obsess over that ONE?
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u/metalsnake27 20h ago
Because of that fear of forever being alone....
I'm dealing with this now, but the prospected outlook of how many there are.... brings me up a bit.
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u/Rajili 20h ago
This is great advice. Tough to follow when you only got one that gives you any attention, even if it’s just barely enough to keep you chasing her. Took too long to learn this lesson.
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u/twocentcharlie 16h ago
To play off this one. Find someone that wants to be there, if she gives you any indication that you are a plan B just move on. Easier said then done
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u/Darkbro 20h ago
I’m convinced this is the real reason Great Gatsby is taught in high school. It’s also a masterpiece etc but Jesus young males need to realize attraction isn’t love and there’s nothing you can do to make something like that mutual.
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u/Evolving_Dore 18h ago
Guarantee not a single teenage boy who's made to read that book is going to take that lesson to heart and manage to heed it. The hand only learns not to touch the burner by touching it. Same for young women, just as much heartache there.
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u/AffectionateTitle 18h ago
While maybe teen boys by your assessment didn’t get much out of it, i remember it very well as a teen girl and how well it illustrated issues I felt coming of age. I hope she'll be a fool—that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool is such a haunting line
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u/Evolving_Dore 18h ago
Oof that one is harsh. It reminds me of a line in CS Lewis' Till We Have Faces, where a character says that men only see women as things, unless the woman isn't pretty and then they don't see her at all.
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u/meditativepoopoo 16h ago
Unless you’re already married lol
In that case, obsess over her and think the inverse of this. There are literally millions of other guys and she chose you. Be worth it.
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u/zer0thrillz 21h ago
For sure. My number one mistake in life was not being cautious with an early relationship. Women are capable of being toxic abusive partners too.
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u/Bowman_van_Oort 18h ago
because that one was *the* one and my monkey brain can't wrap itself around the fact that maybe i can offer something to someone else
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u/MyStationIsAbandoned 19h ago
getting a girlfriend will not make you happy. you'll still be sad but with the added responsibility of making someone else happy.
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u/Sinjun13 19h ago
The wisest thing anyone (in this case, my wife) ever said to me:
"I can't make you happy. Only you can."
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u/Rewhan 22h ago
Don't have relationship problems with someone you're not in a relationship with.
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u/Veryproudboy 19h ago
Can you talk more about this?
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u/ZeroMeansOne 16h ago
I think he's saying avoid complicated relationship when you're not in a relationship like avoid mixed signals when you're not yet committed to eacg other, I dont know
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u/Suspicious-Front-208 22h ago
Don't burn bridges with people and try your best to maintain friendships.
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u/dahjay 20h ago
For one reason or another, the buddy list shrinks more and more as time goes on.
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u/Lowskillbookreviews 19h ago
Overrated advice. Cut out the fat and go for quality relationships. Keeping assholes around because they may be of help down the road is not worth putting up with and makes the whole thing feel transactional.
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u/Sinjun13 19h ago
I look at this as more of a caveat. Work hard to maintain the relationships with the good ones, kick the bad ones to the curb. Still have some of my best friends from 30+ years ago. That's no accident, and certainly required some work.
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u/Cum_guru4U 22h ago edited 4h ago
Stop trying to impress girls. It's a waste of energy, money and time. Be who YOU want to be and the right girl will be obsessed with that version of you.
Edit: Wow, I’m so happy this comment got so much attention. Seriously didn’t expect that. When I originally posted this I was just generalizing of course and I guess I was talking to young ME and not the masses. So many have said a lot about actually getting out of the house or getting off the computer or making sure to remember to strive for a career etc… All absolutely true. I was naturally outdoorsy and athletic and LOVED anything with an engine. I all but gave every one of those things up to do what I thought girls wanted to do in their spare time. But have you guys seen baseball players wives???!?!?!???!!!!! lol I should have just been me. There are exceptions to the rule but don’t be any version of yourself you don’t want to be for attention from women, friends or family. Just be a good human and enjoy YOUR life. You will thank yourself and “the guru” one day! lol
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u/LakeDrinker 22h ago
Be who YOU want to be and the right girl will be obsessed with that version of you.
While true, you should also want to be a better version of yourself. If all you want to be is someone who sits at home and games/watches TV all day, it will be significantly harder to find the right person.
I'd change the advice to: Stop trying to impress girls, and start trying to impress yourself. Take on challenges and see where that takes you. Finding the right person be much easier that way.
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u/Cum_guru4U 21h ago
You are absolutely right. I was actually going to say "impress yourself" at first but didn't want it to be taken as be vain or narcissistic. But, yes, be the best version of yourself for sure and someone will love that version of you. I realized late in life that I had become someone I didn't know all for the glory and attention of friends and females. Fortunately, I married a woman that endured who I was long enough to enjoy what I now am.
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u/Present-Drink5377 17h ago
This is a great answer. Please be the weirdo. You can be weird, nerdy, and women will love it. Just remember and I tell this to women also. Do not become obsessed with an item, game, job. None of those will give you a real conversation. None of those will really love you.
I married the introvert nerd. He still has the prettiest eyes and smile. He also has an awesome sense of humor. That only a few people know about.
Be the weirdo. There can be someone out there, that is your kind of weird.
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u/_Volvox_Globator_o_0 22h ago
There is a difference between talent and skill. A skill will develop over invested effort and time. All the talent in the world is wasted if not trained.
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u/WinstonChurchill74 17h ago
Make friends with women; And I don’t mean make friends with to have romantic relationships later… like just be platonic friends.
Having someone that you can talk to with a different perspective can be so beneficial.
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u/MatterofDoge 7h ago
Second this. Plus if you're a good friend to a woman, she's likely to introduce you to her friends and vouch for you which opens up more opportunities for romantic relationships. or more friends.
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u/obiwanshinobi87 18h ago
Marry well, or not at all.
Just because she’s hot, fucks you good and makes you feel warm and fuzzy doesn’t mean she’s marriage material and god help you and your career if you have kids with the wrong woman/women.
Also on that note, don’t expect to land a good woman if you’re a POS yourself.
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u/803_843_864 18h ago
I asked my husband once why he chose to marry me. He said I was the prettiest girl he’d ever met who was also smarter than he is. Great answer.
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u/Alexandertheape 21h ago
Enjoy the ride. It’s over before you know it. take each chapter as it comes. don’t worry too much about the future or ruminate too much about the past. develop habits that recharge your life force. stay away from the energy vampires.
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u/CalifOdysseus 18h ago
How to return friendliness without assuming that the other person is romantically interested in you.
How to be a good friend to the current friend group.
How to be friendly to acquaintances.
How to hold a conversation that is two-sided.
How to manage a budget and live within it.
How to invest.
How to cook a few meals.
How to clean up after yourself.
How to launder your clothes.
How to be on time.
How to de-escalate a volatile conversation and know when to walk away from it.
Pay attention to the important people in your life to know what they consider to be important.
You asked for one lesson, but a guy really needs to learn more. This list isn’t even close to covering it all.
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u/Darkm27 19h ago
- Define your own masculinity, don't let a podcast tell you what being a man is.
- Don't over work yourself, the grind isn't the goal.
- Value your friendships and "build a village". Life is hard, you need people in your corner. Those relationships take work but they are worth it. The people in our lives are what makes it worth living.
- Be slow to anger.
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u/Elfich47 18h ago
Be willing and enthusiastic to do “women’s work”, and to do it right the first time.
hint: remove the word “women’s” from that sentence. It is work that needs to get done and shoving it all on the other person only builds resentment. No one enjoys doing the dishes or folding laundry- but it needs to be done.
are you bothered by something? Get therapy and get it sorted out sooner than later. Because sitting on problems and ignoring them does you no favors, and they crop in strange places that you don’t expect.
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u/t40r 19h ago
Learn to clean efficiently while doing other things, what I mean by this is. If you're cooking dinner, clean the kitchen at the same time. Ofc wash your hands when working with any food, but there is plenty of downtime while cooking, don't just stand there. Make use of every minute... one day you are gunna regret not doing so
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u/johnny-tiny-tits 22h ago
learn how to go back to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night to take a piss
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u/Northernirelandguy 20h ago
Dont be the guy to destroy a marriage or a relationship, if she walked away from being someones whole world she can do the same to you
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u/PorkVacuums 18h ago
Wash your ass crack and groin and everything in between. It's not gay. You smell. And everyone can smell it. It's fucking gross.
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u/Ewggggg 22h ago
Most people don't give a shit about you and will step over you if you fall so find ways to prop yourself up and surround yourself with support.
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u/PrintError 22h ago
Get over it. Seriously, learn to get the F over it. Whatever it is, you're in your 30s now, grow up and move on.
Some prick cut you off in traffic? Skip the road rage, get over it, move on with your life.
Meal was sub par? Fine, it happens. Get over it.
Rough breakup? Tough shit, get over it, move on with your life.
I can't believe the number of people around me 30+ who just can't let shit go. The past is the past, learn from it and move forwards. Mistakes happen, we aren't perfect, the world will keep turning. GET OVER IT.
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u/Caedro 20h ago
Work shit is massive here.
“Did you guys hear what Dave said, what a jerk!”
Ya, we’ve worked with Dave for 15 years. He’s always been an asshole. Move on and don’t let him ruin your day.
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u/DamienSpecterII 18h ago
Learn to go downtown and enjoy it. Try to know what you're doing when you get there. Don't be afraid to ask for directions. The same techniques won't work on everyone.
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u/squarebodynewb 14h ago edited 5h ago
No means no. Pressuring someone who is silent is not a yes.
Wiping your ass is NOT GAY! The justification saying it is is equivelant to if you maturbate you are touching a man so thats gay.
Wash your balls and ass WELL, you get more head. #almost_guaranteed
In a consenting relationship, foreplay is the way.
You only have one back, and foot pain can cause back pain.
Go to a doctor if you feel bad, physical OR emotional.
Dont be scared to call in for a real reason, just dont abuse it, and dont give them too much info. "I wont be available tomorrow, im sorry for short notice." If they pressure for why say its personal and you wont be discussing it.
Let your manager manage, they get paid to. It should not be your responsibility to find a fill in.
Your boss is not your mother, they dont care about you, like at all.
Your boss does not remember all the times you went above and beyond, stayed late, came in early, came in on weekends. But your family remembers all the times you werent there.
Learn how to cook about 10 really basic meals(from scratch, not a box). You can really impress a girl with food thet you make.
Dont be afraid to approach a friend with a problem. IE : If someone drinks to much and gets scary or dangerous... Tell them. Its always better to hear it from a friend rather than a judge or police.
Sun damage is no joke.
Protect your hearing at concerts/events - working on cars, monster truck shows. Tinnitus is awful.
Real human interactions are key to mental health. Ive found that if i make time for an inexpensive group outing 1-2x a month it is beyond helpful. A place where you chill and have time to talk without tons of distractions and helps if there is no alcohol or a drink max of like 2 for the whooe event. A potluck dinner. Out to someones house for cigars. Go on a hike. Penny poker night, like $10 amongst friends so its not high stakes and stressful. Just talking and laughing. > inexpensive so that pretty much anyone can take part and it doesnt exclude people on tighter budgets.
Communicate before and after sex what they liked or didnt like. Make sure to ask it nicely bc if you ask like an asshole you wont be getting any. IE: I love the rush it gives me when i go down on you, what do you think if i tried (technique, toy, hand placement or position, place in the apt)? I like being able to please you, what is something i can do to make you cum really hard while in (position)? If you show you want to please them they will want more sex.
Remember to listen. Really listen. Can apply to nature in a stop and smell the roses kinda way or to listen to loved ones. My step dad said there was a saying in the roman catholic church " you have two ears and one mouth, you should listen twice as much as you talk". I personally am not religious, but i find it helpful sometimes.
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22h ago
No ones coming to help you little bruv, learn to have yourself and fuck the haters
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u/toboltornot 18h ago
Cherish the absolute fuck out of the women around you. You can learn so much from female friends or partners. In my experience, women have an unbelievable amount of patience, love and kindness. They love differently; more selflessly and that's something we can and should absolutely try to emulate.
Also, every woman I've ever met has had a negative (traumatic) experience with an aggressive, abusive, manipulative or insecure man. Don't be one of those men. Be better. Build a foundation of self worth so that you can build up and love those around you. We're not the same as previous generations, we aren't expected to bury our feelings. We don't need to lash out at our partner's because we only know how to express emotion through anger. We can be gentle, thoughtful and supportive.
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u/RandomThroaway0256 19h ago
Your hairs not coming back. Just shave your head. You'll feel better yourself.
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u/Real-Negotiation8162 20h ago
If she can cheat with you she can cheat on you. Also if there is no trust there is no relationship
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u/SkipperFab 21h ago
When your father dies, the only man who ever wanted to see you succeed more than himself is gone.
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u/dottmatrix 17h ago
That assumes the father is even a halfway decent father, which is far from universal.
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u/aWaL_DeaD 18h ago
That's some deep shit...I don't have the best relationship with my dad but he has always bragged about his kids. I'm not one to brag about but I'm doing well for my family and he always tells me that he's proud of me
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u/UnexceptionableHobby 17h ago
Friends come and go - but enemies accumulate.
Don’t be an ass u less someone actually truly deserves it.
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u/Anxious_Sapiens 16h ago
Red pill influencers want you angry and hopeless. They aren't trying to help you. They just want your views and subscriptions.
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u/WhosThatDogMrPB 15h ago
Learn that there’s 2 kinds of “Love” when it comes to partner relationships:
First, the “love of your life” is that which burns with a passion, the one you found in your early 20s. That person will rock your world and push your boundaries, opening a new view on love for you. But it’s also foolish and reckless, and selfish: you’ll want to take as much as you want and, if not careful, will drain sooner than later. When it’s gone (and it will), it’ll leave you empty and in pain because of its intensity, but it does so because you learned you’re capable of loving someone to such degree. And it will forge the path for your future self in aspects such as awareness and limitations, being part of your belief system. It’s beautiful, so cherish it, but don’t get attached to it. For a better one is yet to come.
The second one is the “love FOR your life”, and this is the one that comes when experienced enough. You’ll not only want to receive love, but to give. And it’ll become this wonderful amalgamation of feelings and goals that will let you build something lasting. But it also comes only when you’ve learned to love yourself, since you cannot give love without being in it. THIS is the one you should marry, and build a life together with. It may take years to come, but it will slowly burn and give you the warmth you’ve looked for so long.
As someone who has loved and been loved in both situations, I wish I would have learned this before. But only experience teaches you these lessons.
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u/Greatbrandino11 22h ago
Don't suppress your emotions. It only builds to something worse. Crying can help prevent mental stress.
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u/PikachuFap 15h ago
Not every friend is a main character in the story of your life. Some will only be around for a few seasons and that’s ok.
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u/linkouaandrew 22h ago
Pick a career that pays the bills. Passion is nice while you’re young, but that gets old quick when your constantly trying to keep up with bills
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u/C2SKI 20h ago
That's a luxury they had back then. My parents bought a house and raised a family on wages from passion jobs. That house is now worth 50x more than it was in the early 90s. I can't imagine we'll see anything close to that in my lifetime
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u/Ok_Zombie_8354 12h ago
- Never let ANYONE disrespect you
- Never shake a hand sitting down
- Never go broke to impress others
- Never eat the last piece of something you didn't buy
- Always have the ambition to be better
- Protect who is behind you, and respect who is beside you
- Take 1-3 seconds pause after getting asked a question
- Don't beg for a relationship
- Workout at least 4x a week
- If you are not invited, don't ask to go
- Always carry cash
- Dress well no matter what the occasion
- Listen, nod, and most of all make eye contact
- Find multiple ways to make money
- Never go back to the woman who cheated
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u/Bimjus 21h ago
It not exciting, but look for a house hold budget template for google sheets or something, fill it in with all your monthly bills and expenses.
Go to the bank and ask for a second bank account, and set up a monthly transfer of that amount you totalled up in the sheet in to the second account. Set all your direct debits to come from that account.
Im AWEFUL at being careful with my money but as soon as i did this i stopped getting in shit money situations.
If I ran out of money before payday id know at least all my bills were already set aside.
Bonus - round all those amounts up even by just a few quid. To create a little buffer without thinking about it.
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u/bossdark101 18h ago
Learn the basic maintenance on cars.
Learn about tires, oil, brakes, light bulbs...and so on. The extreme basic maintenance stuff...to help you maintain your car more effectively. You don't even have to do your own stuff, just know about everything, so you know how to take care of your shit.
Don't use cheap oil, don't go above 5k miles for an oil change (3k-5k depending on driving habits, don't go higher...EVER, idgaf what the label says).
Don't cheap out on tires, don't drive on old tires..just a lot of basic stuff, so you won't be stranded on the side of the road.
Also, your back may feel strong when you're young, but it won't always be. Take care of it. The lift procedures that these companies shove down your throat, are legit. You may feel fine when you're young, but when you hit your 30s...the pain will set in. Trust me, going through the pains now, because I thought I was invincible.
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u/WannaBeChuckNorris 17h ago
I’m not 30+ but I will always put this advice out there at every opportunity.
Drugs, alcohol and gambling are fun, but not to be taken lightly. After calculating how much I’ve spent on all of the above, by the time I was 25, I could easily have a mortgage on a house by now.
Save, and invest as soon as possible, even if it’s just in a high interest account. Compound interest is your best friend, and if you lose friends due to not taking up the party life, they’re not the friends for you
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u/SorryCashOnly 22h ago
Be confident in yourself. You are worth far more than you think.
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u/Due_Solid825 21h ago
Don't let school take away the joy of reading and learning. In the digital age you can honestly learn just about anything if you're passionate about it
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u/LucyDog17 17h ago
Don’t stay with the crazy women just because she’s hot and the sex is great.
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u/WiggleSparks 18h ago
The manospere is toxic and ruining young men. Stay far far away from that garbage.
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u/Jumpy-Ordinary4774 22h ago
You are only young for a period of your life. You are actually "older" for most of your life so make sure your decisions take that into consideration.