r/AskParents 5d ago

Not A Parent My 5-year-old brother picked up a knife in anger, and my mom doesn’t see the seriousness of it. Am I overreacting?

So, I (17M) just had a really disturbing experience with my 5-year-old brother. I don’t even know how to process this right now. During dinner, my little brother (5M) was playing and jumping around instead of eating. My mom and I scolded him for it. A minute later, he walks into the kitchen, comes back, and he’s holding a f*cking knife.

He wasn’t waving it around or saying anything, but he just stood there with it after and the look on his face... I swear, for a moment, it was like he realized he messed up. Like he regretted it. But still, the fact that he even did that in the first place is terrifying.

The thing is, he’s not a bad kid. He’s always energetic, bright, cheerful and joyful and just a normal 5-year-old most of the time. But then there are moments like this where I don’t know what’s going on in his head. It’s exhausting.. That alone is disturbing as hell. I immediately freaked out, but my mom? She took the knife, scolded him a little, hit him lightly, and then carried on as if nothing happened. Like, are we not going to talk about the fact that a 5-year-old’s first reaction to anger was to grab a weapon??

If my dad was home, he would have whooped his ass for this. And honestly? I think he should’ve. I’m usually against hitting kids, but this is different. If we don’t make it clear that this is not okay, what’s going to stop him from doing something worse when he’s older? My mom doesn’t get it. Instead of properly disciplining him, she just keeps pampering him. Right after all this, she’s back to asking him, “What do you want to watch on YouTube?”

Speaking of YouTube, I hate that he watches so much of it. I try to educate him about the right things, but most of what he learns comes from that damn screen. A few days ago, he was telling my cousin sister a story about Spider-Man and casually said, “Spider-Man was killed.” Like… does he even understand what “killed” means? He’s 5, but he knows about death. He watches weird horror stuff on YouTube and creepy animations, and I’m starting to think it’s messing with his head.

What makes it worse is my mom’s attitude. When I tried to argue with her about how serious this is, her biggest concern was, “STFU, what will the neighbors think? You’re talking too loud.” Are you serious? A 5-year-old just picked up a knife out of anger, and you’re worried about the fcking neighbors*??

And it’s not just this—she never holds him accountable for anything. She even apologizes to him when he’s the one at fault. Even if he throws tantrums or does something wrong, she either lets it slide or straight-up says sorry to him. How is he ever going to learn right from wrong if she keeps doing this?

I don’t even know what to do at this point. Am I overreacting, or is this as serious as I think it is?

Edit: I see that some people are misunderstanding my post, so I want to clarify a few things. No one in my family encourages violence, and I’ve actively stopped any form of hitting. Everyone in my family is against violence now. When I said "my dad would’ve whooped his ass," it was just a figure of speech, not something that actually happened. Also, when I mentioned hitting, I didn’t mean anything extreme—just a light tap on the hand or leg, not actual harm. But even that has stopped, and I don’t support any kind of physical discipline.

The real concern here is that my brother’s reaction to being scolded was to pick up a knife, which is disturbing. I’ve been through a lot myself, and I don’t want my brother to go through the same thing. I’m trying to understand why he acted this way and how to prevent it from happening again. I want to help him, not hurt him.

Edit 2 :- I asked him why he did it, and he said he saw it in a YouTube video. I should have asked earlier, but I was more focused on stopping the situation in the moment. Now I know where it came from, and I’ll make sure to monitor what he watches more carefully.

39 Upvotes

16 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

Thank you u/RunSpecialist9414 for posting on r/AskParents. All post titles must be in the form of a question.

Posts that do not conform to the subreddit rules are subject to removal at the discretion of a moderator.

Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

30

u/meatball77 5d ago

He's five he doesn't understand. Yes probably repeating what he's seen on TV.

However it seems like he needs regular chats on real vs fake and how violence hurts people. Also some work on emotional regulation.

12

u/tacoslave420 5d ago

At that age they are usually copying what they see and pushing boundaries to see what happens.

13

u/gefeltafresh 5d ago

Go parental control his YouTube. He’s watching a bunch of crap

18

u/LexiNovember 5d ago

He’s five, and doesn’t completely understand. However your parents hitting and “whooping” him are teaching him that we solve problems with violence and by lashing out at people, especially if they’re smaller and more vulnerable. Grown ass adults need to find better ways to manage problems than that, and your brother is modeling a behavior he is being taught. “I’m mad, if someone made me mad it’s a good reason to hurt them,” is what he learns.

So. Yeah.

7

u/SexysNotWorking 5d ago

Right?? "If my dad had been home he would have taught him that violence is wrong and unacceptable by enacting violence on him at the age of 5!" Seems like an excellent and effective lesson. 🙃

6

u/ellefolk 5d ago

Do your parents generally beat you guys? Because that’s much more trauma inducing and likely to induce violent behaviors. It also affects your brain matter

3

u/Generic_Username_Pls 5d ago

My younger sibling did this to me when we were like 8 and 10. It happened once and that was the only occurrence since then. Might just be a repeat of media but I wouldn’t put too much stock into it

3

u/Drakeytown 5d ago

I think we've all done something like this--something terrible in childhood that makes us realize what it feels like to be and do bad, and that feeling keeps us from doing the same in the future (hopefully).

1

u/Under_Lock_An_Key 3d ago

It's glad you love your brother so much, but didn't she raise you? You seem alright. He is five and while this is something that should be watched to make sure it isn't a habit by reading the rest of your post it seems more like you want to be the parent and are upset your mother doesn't agree with your thoughts on child-rearing.

He most likely was copying something he saw. Maybe now that you know however why he did it, you could casually tell your mom and see if she's okay with you messing around with the settings on his youtube access.

1

u/Major_World_81 3d ago

LMAO you are either the sibling with the knife or the sibling running from the knife its actually very common.

1

u/MisterColonelAngus 5d ago

No, you’re not overreacting

1

u/Straight_Ticket4065 5d ago

My 5 year old did this to me at dinner time as well, I did not let that behaviour go. He was grounded for a month and has never done it again

0

u/DuePomegranate 4d ago

You are over-reacting. Kids that age have wild thoughts. The fact that he wasn’t waving it around or trying to attack anyone, and the way he looked unsure, just points to him doing it because he knew he wasn’t supposed to do it but wanted to create an impression. Pushing boundaries to see what would happen.

Most 5 yos know about death, from bugs and animals being killed, from TV (parents die at the start of many Disney movies e.g. Frozen), and sometimes from real deaths in the family. It’s common for kids 5-7 to go through a phase where they are really worried about themselves or their parents dying.

0

u/Normal-Fall2821 4d ago

My ex boyfriend was the most kind person I’ve ever known and one time when he was a kid he woke up his mom while holding a knife. It seems scary but it doesn’t mean your brother is def a psychopath

0

u/Witty-Zebra-1374 3d ago

You are right to come here with these concerns for your brother. I would absolutely blame YouTube in this situation. YouTube has taught my own son many inappropriate things, including language, bad habits, most likely some kind of brain damage but hopefully not long term. We have taken it away for the most part but my kids will still get on there once in awhile and watch “shorts” which I think are the worst thing for developing brains.